Let's Sperg JAIMAS PLAYS A TERRIBLE GAME: Bomber Bother - Hbomberguy-Themed /pol/ Thread Simulator

[Jaimas]

Steam's having major issues with its review system; allowing worthless comments like GOOD GAME to be reviews and longform ones being disallowed. I found a workaround for this, thankfully, so now you can have my snarky comments on the matter.

I'm legit surprised we haven't seen the game's forum get reduced to a pile of burning troll yet.

 

[ChucklesTheJester]

A common occurence with this game is that the beavers will be chased right to the hole and then stop, no matter how much you try to make them go over the edge. You can't make them go forward and you either sit there, hammering on the scare button until the game takes pity on you 2-5 seconds later and the beaver goes over the edge, or the game just sits on its balls and you can't make them go as time slowly trickles away.

Here the problem taken directly from the steam store page.

In Classic difficulty mode, if beavers walk straight towards the hole they'll stop and not fall in! The "trick" is to make sure you steer them towards the hole, but not directly at it: Always mind the angle at which beavers are walking towards the pit!

In other words It's by design that they don't fall in. What a shitty design.

 

[NerdShamer]

Why do you torture yourself like this?

 

[Jaimas]

Here the problem taken directly from the steam store page.

In other words It's by design that they don't fall in. What a shitty design.

....And you're supposed to do this while the game has a strict time limit.

I wonder if it's by coincidence that the game's trailer entirely uses the "Fair" difficulty?

Why do you torture yourself like this?

Because it's funny.

 

[ChucklesTheJester]

....And you're supposed to do this while the game has a strict time limit.

I wonder if it's by coincidence that the game's trailer entirely uses the "Fair" difficulty?

Maybe the person made the trailer only played on Fair.

Would be funny if the game only ever been play tested on "Fair".

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

Steam's having major issues with its review system; allowing worthless comments like GOOD GAME to be reviews and longform ones being disallowed. I found a workaround for this, thankfully, so now you can have my snarky comments on the matter.

I'm legit surprised we haven't seen the game's forum get reduced to a pile of burning troll yet.

Fucking christ, you mean the first post with its "Feminine Pe*is" wasn't a troll?

"Deep Beaver Lore

Then from the dark, They came, and found the Souls of Hormones within the flame. Feminine Pe*is, the First of the Trans, The Witch of Fluid and his Seven Genders of Chaos, Enby, the Lord of Intersex, and their faithful knights. And the Masculine Pu*sy, so easily forgotten.

With the strength of Trans, they challenged the Cis. Enby's mighty facts peeled apart their bigotry. The Witch weaved great confusion amongst their binary. Feminine ♥♥♥♥♥ unleashed a miasma of sexual tension and pegging. And Seath the Ally betrayed his own, and the Cis were no more.

Thus began the Age of Beavers."

 

[c-no]

Steam's having major issues with its review system; allowing worthless comments like GOOD GAME to be reviews and longform ones being disallowed. I found a workaround for this, thankfully, so now you can have my snarky comments on the matter.

I'm legit surprised we haven't seen the game's forum get reduced to a pile of burning troll yet.

It does have deep beaver lore.

 

[Randall Fragg]

This actually works really well as a parody of slacktivism and Breadtube. Think about it.

• The player character is a faceless attack dog for someone who tells them what to think.
• We never see the beavers actually do anything wrong. We’re just told that they’re bad people, and thus deserving of being mugged and killed.
• The game mechanics are annoyingly hard with no real reward.
• All the money you raise goes towards enriching the person telling you what to think. You see no real benefit, other than being a “good ally”.
• There’s no endgame. No win condition. You just do it over and over because Comrade Furry tells you to.

This is too perfect a parody to be unintentional. I refuse to believe that this was made sincerely.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

It does have deep beaver lore.
View attachment 969853

The beaver lore can't be that deep. When a boy's been on puberty blockers he doesn't grow, so the surgeons have to use sigmoid colon or peritoneum tissue to make his beaver deep

 

[Judge Dredd]

Man John Romero really fell hard. Back in the day he was making Doom levels and working at ID Software but after Daikatana bankrupted his game studio he found himself making N Gage games, shouting "trans rights" on some guy's stream, and now has his name credited in a shitty game jerking off the streamer's fame from said stream.

At least they bothered to get his name right. Seeing people refer to him as "The Daikitana Guy" in Steam reviews was frustrating. I wouldn't be surprised if many of those people didn't know who he was and had to google his name.

 

[Jaimas]

This actually works really well as a parody of slacktivism and Breadtube. Think about it.

• The player character is a faceless attack dog for someone who tells them what to think.
• We never see the beavers actually do anything wrong. We’re just told that they’re bad people, and thus deserving of being mugged and killed.
• The game mechanics are annoyingly hard with no real reward.
• All the money you raise goes towards enriching the person telling you what to think. You see no real benefit, other than being a “good ally”.
• There’s no endgame. No win condition. You just do it over and over because Comrade Furry tells you to.

This is too perfect a parody to be unintentional. I refuse to believe that this was made sincerely.

Sadly, either the Author is a masterclass troll of Jace-tier caliber, or is legit, and it's hard to tell which one's more sad.

 

[Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth]

At least they bothered to get his name right. Seeing people refer to him as "The Daikitana Guy" in Steam reviews was frustrating. I wouldn't be surprised if many of those people didn't know who he was and had to google his name.

To be blisteringly fair, Romero worked really fucking hard to go down in history as "The fucking Daikitana guy."

 

[Kheapathic]

Credits Proto Magical Girl... there is no God.

 

[Next Task]

Sadly, either the Author is a masterclass troll of Jace-tier caliber, or is legit, and it's hard to tell which one's more sad.

Oh, the latter. Definitely the latter. Because the former would be clever satire.

But if involves that caseyexplosion lolcow, it's also definitely the latter. Because she's a true believer and also that particular kind of SJW stupid that runs rife on ... well, everywhere, but is especially concentrated on Twitter at the moment.

 

[I can't imagine]

Oh, the latter. Definitely the latter. Because the former would be clever satire.

But if involves that caseyexplosion lolcow, it's also definitely the latter. Because she's a true believer and also that particular kind of SJW stupid that runs rife on ... well, everywhere, but is especially concentrated on Twitter at the moment.

I think all the people named in the special thanks are just people who donated to Hbomberguy's stream. I doubt they had anything to do with the actual game, and, well, let's face it, most of them wouldn't even be able to tell if they were being trolled anyway.

Still, it's probably sincere, though some of this might be that weird "ironic" humor where they're like, "oh, people think we're using charity to scam people, so let's make jokes about how much we're scamming people! It'll be hilarious!" or some such.

 

[Mr Metron666]

That sloth is https://twitter.com/CaseyExplosion

Who honestly deserves a thread

I thought the sloth was meant to be Contra?