My motives are complex.
This is James A Williams, a bad British YouTube cartoon critic of children’s shows who, as of October 2019, has over seventy thousand subscribers. Shows that he often touches upon include My Little Pony, Bob the Builder and, his personal favorite, Thomas the Tank Engine. Despite his moderate subscriber count, his videos often times fail to break a hundred views. It isn’t hard to see why, as most of his audience subscribes for one type of content, a content type he rarely makes. It’s rather odd, as his content is decently varied, including bad YTP, reading fanfiction, dubbing over bad MLP comics he’s made, putting MS Paint faces on Thomas characters and dubbing over them in unfunny ways, and watching old childhood DVDs. However, the videos most of his subscribers come for are his thirty minute rant/review videos of tv shows such as the Bob the Builder reboot and Postman Pat reboot, which often break the thirty minute mark. This is the link to his channel.
Although not the most viewed video on his channel, the one most people know him for is his classic video The Problems of the Bob the Builder Reboot. This video which mysteriously showed up on the YouTube recommendations of many a poor soul about a year ago consists of him yelling about the toddler show for a half hour for often irrelevant things. A common trait of his is that he wants to keep things the exact same, but different, often leading to hypocritical moments. A good example of this in the video is how he brings up that in the first and second seasons of the show, the animation was “too realistic”, and when that changed in the third to be more like the original show, it’s suddenly a bad thing. Another example is that he had a problem with the show keeping continuity with the old one, including keeping the same voice actor for one character instead of changing it to appeal to the “older fans of the show”. The video itself ended up being so bad, that another YouTuber, EmpLemon, made fun of it on twitter after finding it, and made a spot on parody of it for April Fools 2018 about the Teletubbies reboot. Ironically, James later said in a video that the Teletubbies reboot was “a good reboot”.
Other videos of his in this format include Why I Hate Fireman Sam CGI, The Downfall of Postman Pat, and My Big World, Big Adventures Review, all of which are over a half hour and the latter even being over an hour and consisting of him nearly crying. Although they are major videos of his, they can be summarized by simply saying he holds onto his childhood too much, and that he wishes everything were like it once was when he was a young one. In a video made before his Big World Big Adventures video, he says he doesn’t have these opinions because he feels he deserves better, but because he feels “the kids” deserve better. Another of his videos, My History of Thomas the Tank Engine, where he talks about how he got into the show. In the opening minutes, he brings up that one of the main reasons he got into the show is because “he loves trains”, and followed it up with explaining in detail all the different reasons he loves trains. Hmm.
Many of his other types of videos are completely nondescript and uninteresting, but the ones that are most interesting are his reviews of old DVDs and VHSs he had as a kid. Usually what takes place is that he shows some unedited footage, shows it again but now analyzing what we just saw, and then makes something that’s supposed to be a joke. I bring these up instead of others is because of one particular video. In his video Me Watching a Wubbulous World of Dr Suess DVD, he spends the first five minutes making what can only be described as the worst, starchiest ramen ever made as well as some eggs and meat. After putting it all on a plate (he eats ramen on a plate), he makes the joke that “it’s just normal and not green” because Dr Suess. He then spends half the video making his comments about the DVD with his mouth full. It’s absolutely disgusting.
James has been a personal lolcow of me and friends of mine for several months, and there’s a video we have deemed as the start of “The Thirsty James A Williams Saga”. James got the rare privilege of being able to go to Bronycon 2019, and made a vlog about it. The vlog is mostly uninteresting, with the exception of him bothering people by filming them and some awful con panels, but the interesting part lies in an certain entity he meets up with.
This is Quirky Craft, an MLP YouTuber/voice actor who James meets up with multiple times in the video and repeatedly describes as “his best friend”. Her channel can be found here. James and Craft talk and hug several times, James spends money on her, and I would have thought nothing of it until the end of the video. If you don’t want to watch nearly forty minutes of nothing to get to this part, here’s the summary. At the end of the video, James and Craft hug one final time as they wave goodbye, James audibly sad. The thing that makes the scene is the music choice, Heaven by Bryan Adams. The ending credits it shows is some drawing Craft made of the two as ponies. This ending scene shows that James wants to be more than “best friends” with her, and judging by the fact that she is shown earlier wearing an LGBT pin, it’s likely she doesn’t feel the same.
James A Williams has a fat fetish. It’s hidden, but it’s there. In the previously mentioned My History of Thomas the Tank Engine video, he links a Thomas fanfiction he wrote under the name JamesAWilliams1996 on Deviantart to show “how the show should be written”. Although nothing special is on his Deviantart, a quick search of that name will find him on the site Derpibooru, where he makes bad fat drawings of MLP characters. Here’s some of them, if you don’t want to click that accursed link.
Here’s also his description on the site, because it’s really funny:
“Here’s all ya need to know:
Massive brony, I prefer Equestria Girls over the main series since it’s more relatable, my favourite characters are tied between Sunset, Twilight, Rainbow, Pinkie, Trixie and others whom I can’t decide, love seeing characters (mainly female) stuck in anything tight or small like a hole or a window, I like BBW and weight gain aaaaaaaand… that’s kinda it.
I can do requests for free, but there aresome limits/rules:
1.I can do BBW and weight gain, but I won’t do vore. Cannibalism isn’t really my thing.
2.No sex or cum. It makes me cringe.
3.I candraw bare breasts and crotches, but I won’tdraw nipples, cocks, balls, vaginas or pubic hair.
4.No gore or explicit violence. Just skin cut or nose bleed level.
5.Tickling and feet fetishes aren’t really my thing either so… yeah.
6.No diapers or poop please. It makes me cringe even more than Rule 2. No pun intended.
7.I can allow swear words.
Sorry for all the rules, but I feel on having my rating limit be at least “suggestive”.
Welp, admire the pictures and have a lovely day. (Cue ending jingle)”.
Believe it or not, it’s actually archived in some of his videos, like dubbing over a comic where a fat pony gets stuck in a hole and when he questions why Tails isn’t getting fatter in his video where he watches Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog.
James A Williams has been a lolcow and inside joke with my friend for months and I want everyone to know about his legend. I hope this helps.
Archives: (all accurate as of October 15, 2019)