Jasper Carewatch - ASPCAck-Ack-Ack

Prince Lotor

I'm not an eldritch horror! I'm a human being!
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Someone asked him how often he changes Jasper's cat box. "Oh, I do it once a week unless it gets stinky... Then I do it more than once a week... In reality, some people actually scoop out their cat's litter box and then you don't have to change the litter as often."

Wait a minute. Phil doesn't scoop Jasper's litter box? Nobody is scooping his box? He just lets Jasper use it all week until it is full and then he dumps the whole thing in the garbage? Dude can't lift a gallon of tard cum, he's not carrying a full litter box out to the garbage bin.
It's just occurring to me from that same litter-box babble from Phil he explained how it had been a week since the litter had been taken care of and said it was getting stinky and then literally repeated 'stinky' a bunch of times to describe the smell, saying, 'Yeah, it's starting to get stinky. Stinky, stinky, stinky, stinky, stinky sheit!' A large portion of the point of cat litter is that it absorbs the fucking odor of cat piss and shit.

Another Fun Fact about declawed cats: Digging through cat litter can be difficult and cause increased pain for declawed cats. It's very possible Jasper is just dropping his turds off on the surface and not burying or covering them with litter, and Piggy & SoulMare are too lazy, stupid, and disgusting to bury them for him so they just get to smell cat shit as it dries in the open air.
 

Schmeckel

Silver Shamrock
kiwifarms.net
The litter box lore is Special. Of course they treat the cat like garbage and don't understand any of his needs.

Plus the money wasted on throwing out entire trays of litter weekly instead of just sifting the shits out every two days is a very Phil thing.
Maybe that's how they do things in the snort fort. It's like the old saying "if it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, let it go a couple days and then flush it down." That would totally be a Phil thing to do.
 

Kermit the Frog

kiwifarms.net
The stench of the condo must be fucking wretched if they are cleaning the 3 litter boxes only once a week. I guess that's a good thing about being a hermit, you don't have to worry about keeping your place in order since nobody ever comes over. Phil and Kat are vile people out of sheer laziness and incompetence. Kat works 3 times a week with part time hours and Phil works at home, they can take 5 minutes out of their day to clean up cat shit. If your pet sees you being a disgusting slob, they're going to pick up on that and behave the same way. I find it funny that Jasper is basically nothing more than a constant nuisance to them when it's entirely their fault for making him that way. Phil can't see how locking Jasper in a room all night and totally ignoring him when he wants to wake your fat ass up at 9 in the morning could possibly illustrate to the cat he isn't really wanted. It's so obvious Phil got Jasper only as a means to placate Kat, he never cared and Kat doesn't care anymore. I'm really glad these two have decided not to have a kid, because they have royally messed up raising a cat and that kid would be all kinds of fucked up.
 

Schmeckel

Silver Shamrock
kiwifarms.net
The stench of the condo must be fucking wretched if they are cleaning the 3 litter boxes only once a week. I guess that's a good thing about being a hermit, you don't have to worry about keeping your place in order since nobody ever comes over. Phil and Kat are vile people out of sheer laziness and incompetence. Kat works 3 times a week with part time hours and Phil works at home, they can take 5 minutes out of their day to clean up cat shit. If your pet sees you being a disgusting slob, they're going to pick up on that and behave the same way. I find it funny that Jasper is basically nothing more than a constant nuisance to them when it's entirely their fault for making him that way. Phil can't see how locking Jasper in a room all night and totally ignoring him when he wants to wake your fat ass up at 9 in the morning could possibly illustrate to the cat he isn't really wanted. It's so obvious Phil got Jasper only as a means to placate Kat, he never cared and Kat doesn't care anymore. I'm really glad these two have decided not to have a kid, because they have royally messed up raising a cat and that kid would be all kinds of fucked up.
Cat shit might stink to the high heavens.... But cat piss? Man, that stuff follows you and lingers for-fuckin'-ever. If they're only cleaning Ja$per's boxes once a week, I fear for anywhere that dirty laundry accumulates. The bed (beds, let's be real here, Khet sleeps in her "office") has got to be piss bombed by now. The pig pen has GOT to have an overwhelming aroma of ammonia, and I'd wager that their clothes probably have absorbed enough to be noticeable on their weekly venture to the outside world.

Hell. If Khet is being given all these extra days off...maybe her "work clothes" smell of cat piss and the powers that be won't let her come back until she doesn't smell like death.
 

Cyber Bowling

kiwifarms.net
My personal theory is Phil is doing his bs semantics thing where he's specifically answering with "I clean the litterbox once a week" and neglecting to mention how many times Kat does it, since the question was specifically "how many times do you" even though the obvious implication is asking a generalized question about his household.

This is obviously just speculation on my part. My basis is, while I can totally see Phil himself being too lazy to clean up, I can't imagine Kat being equally lazy/letting him get away with that much laziness. It also sounds like she was the main one who wanted Jasper in the first place/she at least had some minimal experience taking care of cats beforehand, so I can't imagine her just being that indifferent to Jasper. That could also be the "Jasper annoyance" Phil is trying to push. Maybe Kat is trying to not so subtly hint at Phil that she wants him to help out more and Phil is just doing his usual goutnastics to turn it around into a criticism about Jasper instead of him.

It's really hard to get any sort of read on how Phil actually cares about Jasper. At first, I assumed complete indifference if not annoyance because Phil is too lazy to take care of a pet/he managed to keep it hidden for X amount of times, which just goes to show how much he cared. But then he got weirdly clingy with the whole "family" stuff in reference to Jasper. I thought it was initially an act to try and get more money after the 2k reveal, similar to how he tried the "mascot" thing, but it lasted long enough to the point where it seemed legit/part of some weird midlife crisis, but now he's back into the being indifferent/complaining about Jasper phase, so who knows.
 

SkippyLongbottom

kiwifarms.net
Surprised Phil didn't dish out hundreds for an automatic cleaning shitter box for Jasper. Maybe he did but if not, guess he doesn't give that much of a shit about the thing.
 

Regulas

https://i.imgur.com/lGsfFyY.jpg
kiwifarms.net
The litter box lore is Special. Of course they treat the cat like garbage and don't understand any of his needs.

Plus the money wasted on throwing out entire trays of litter weekly instead of just sifting the shits out every two days is a very Phil thing.
I'm guessing Phil didn't buy one of those little cat shit shovels that lets the sand fall through.
 

Sparkletor

kiwifarms.net
I'm guessing Phil didn't buy one of those little cat shit shovels that lets the sand fall through.
I DON'T HAVE MONEY TO DO IT
I DON'T HAVE MONEY TO DO IT
I DON'T HAVE MONEY TO DO IT
Screenshot_2019-12-15-17-34-14.png
 

millais

The Yellow Rose of Victoria, Texas
True & Honest Fan
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He's always constantly shitting on how Wings of Redemption runs his stream, but in the 2 weeks since Wings of Redemption has acquired his new cat, it has been visible on stream for a greater length of time than Jasper Kitty has been in all of its previous appearances on DSP streams.

When Phil tried to promote the idea of a pet cat being an entertaining addition to the stream setup, I bet his audience was envisioning something like what Wings of Redemption has with his cat, where the cat is visible to the camera at almost all times during the stream, lying across the desktop or the chair.
 

the khat quaffer

resplendent!
kiwifarms.net
He's always constantly shitting on how Wings of Redemption runs his stream, but in the 2 weeks since Wings of Redemption has acquired his new cat, it has been visible on stream for a greater length of time than Jasper Kitty has been in all of its previous appearances on DSP streams.

When Phil tried to promote the idea of a pet cat being an entertaining addition to the stream setup, I bet his audience was envisioning something like what Wings of Redemption has with his cat, where the cat is visible to the camera at almost all times during the stream, lying across the desktop or the chair.

True dat. It's funny how wings is infinitely more likable than DSP. (To me at least.)
Wings says he's thinking about getting a cat. He mulls it over a few days. Then he goes down the shelter, then he lays out some necessities he plans to buy for the cat. We know all this because he says it. Plainly and simply. No fucking 'guise i got sumthin real pahsutive comin to the stream but only if we reach the tips goal', none of that hoof-waving that Phil does. Wings gets a small setback when the cat he wants ends up getting adopted. So he sets his sights on another one, Rocko, and gets it. Very upfront about all this. People poke him about the cat he accidentally killed when he was a kid, he ignores it.

Wings finally gets Rocko the cat and shows it on an ordinary stream, no tips goal, no nothing. Shows how Rocko adjusts to his new home, shows him off during his Rainbow streaming, even CHANGES THE FUCKING CAMERA ANGLE so people can see it. Something Phil cannot even fucking fathom.

Rocko could also claw the shit out of Jasper.
 

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tzgnilki

kiwifarms.net
True dat. It's funny how wings is infinitely more likable than DSP. (To me at least.)
Wings says he's thinking about getting a cat. He mulls it over a few days. Then he goes down the shelter, then he lays out some necessities he plans to buy for the cat. We know all this because he says it. Plainly and simply. No fucking 'guise i got sumthin real pahsutive comin to the stream but only if we reach the tips goal', none of that hoof-waving that Phil does. Wings gets a small setback when the cat he wants ends up getting adopted. So he sets his sights on another one, Rocko, and gets it. Very upfront about all this. People poke him about the cat he accidentally killed when he was a kid, he ignores it.

Wings finally gets Rocko the cat and shows it on an ordinary stream, no tips goal, no nothing. Shows how Rocko adjusts to his new home, shows him off during his Rainbow streaming, even CHANGES THE FUCKING CAMERA ANGLE so people can see it. Something Phil cannot even fucking fathom.

Rocko could also claw the shit out of Jasper.

it's hard for me to keep up with wings memes now that his detractor sub got nuked & I don't watch detractor vids

I did see when he first got the cat and it was scared, nice to see it came around

wings probably lets it outside too
 

actually

Local Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net

34:50 - 40:23

dave's rant on the responsibility of owning a cat & comparing it a child at 38:26

vod will be gone soon, can someone yoink it please, too long to clip

The fact that he keeps using the phrase "traumatic experience" to describe moving a pet from one place to another is so overdramatic, it's unbelievable. Also, the fact that he equates pet ownership to raising a fucking child is further proof that he has no business being a parent. Goddamn.
 

James Smith

True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
The fact that he keeps using the phrase "traumatic experience" to describe moving a pet from one place to another is so overdramatic, it's unbelievable. Also, the fact that he equates pet ownership to raising a fucking child is further proof that he has no business being a parent. Goddamn.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR) defines trauma as direct personal experience of an event that involves actual or threatened death or serious injury; threat to one's physical integrity, witnessing an event that involves the above experience, learning about unexpected or violent death, serious harm, or threat of death, or injury experienced by a family member or close associate.
Or, you know, being mildly inconvenienced. Basically the same thing.
 

Pargon

Hitler died, my mother also died
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Or, you know, being mildly inconvenienced. Basically the same thing.
I'm not watching that clip because I can't stand to hear his shitty voice but was he referring to the pet being traumatized by a move, or the person doing it? Because unless the cat's life was threatened it's unlikely it remembers enough to care.
The winner of future warfare will absolutely be the first to use localized DSP rounds.

Like I'm just imagining they treat it as firing off a nuke, but it's just dropping DSP off over on the country from a helicopter and he just streams himself as per usual.
Bullets dipped in pigroach fat. Guarantees they won't reach the NEET afterlife.
 

Sparkletor

kiwifarms.net
I'm not watching that clip because I can't stand to hear his shitty voice but was he referring to the pet being traumatized by a move, or the person doing it? Because unless the cat's life was threatened it's unlikely it remembers enough to care.

Bullets dipped in pigroach fat. Guarantees they won't reach the NEET afterlife.
I haven't watched that particular clip either, but I have heard Phil use Jasper as an excuse not to do something several times.

Phil, why don't you go do this thing? I can't leave Jasper home alone! He is too young! Cats can't survive without a human! Jasper might turn on the stove and burn the house down!

Phil why don't you sell the Wakondo and get a cheaper place? I can't! This condo was specifically designed for cats. It has everything, floors, stairs, windows, so much stuff for Jasper to interact with. Plus if I moved Jasper he would be traumatized.

Guess what? If moving traumatizes cats, Jasper has feline PTSD for sure. Shelters don't declaw cats. If Phil is going to claim he didn't declaw Jasper, it can only mean he had previous owners. These owners then gave him to the shelter in Nebraska or whatever. That shelter then moved him to Washington. Then he moved to the Wakondo. Jasper has been traumatized 4 times already and seems to be okay.
 

actually

Local Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'm not watching that clip because I can't stand to hear his shitty voice but was he referring to the pet being traumatized by a move, or the person doing it? Because unless the cat's life was threatened it's unlikely it remembers enough to care.

Talking about the pet. He told a random story about a $300-$400 bird that he and Kat saw while in CT (at a pet store, I guess?) and the employee swore it had been traumatized by being adopted and returned within 3-4 days by a person. Not a dog or cat, which might at least associate the smells and sights of a new home with some kind of positive feedback and not associate the sights and sounds of a shelter or pound with "good". A bird.
 

Shambler

kiwifarms.net
Talking about the pet. He told a random story about a $300-$400 bird that he and Kat saw while in CT (at a pet store, I guess?) and the employee swore it had been traumatized by being adopted and returned within 3-4 days by a person. Not a dog or cat, which might at least associate the smells and sights of a new home with some kind of positive feedback and not associate the sights and sounds of a shelter or pound with "good". A bird.
if im not mistaken some bird species DO form what can be assumed is a bond or at least become comfortable in an environment
i'd say this is unlikely to happen within 3-4 days but i've seen weirder shit happen
hell go to youtube and just search videos of people throwing their birds out the windows and it flies right back, they're at least content in the environment they're in
 

SkippyLongbottom

kiwifarms.net
Talking about the pet. He told a random story about a $300-$400 bird that he and Kat saw while in CT (at a pet store, I guess?) and the employee swore it had been traumatized by being adopted and returned within 3-4 days by a person. Not a dog or cat, which might at least associate the smells and sights of a new home with some kind of positive feedback and not associate the sights and sounds of a shelter or pound with "good". A bird.
That was great. Seems like some shit he made up because I cannot see Phil interacting enough outside his stream to another person to get a story to hiccup like that. On top of that, a bird getting trama seems unlikely. Maybe the owner never had a bird before and decided well fuck, maybe I can't do a bird because I didn't know what to expect.

You're apparently the worst type of person to return a pet and not anything worst like maybe killing the bird or letting it loose outside on purpose. Let's also keep in mind the fact he went off on people getting pets out of nowhere because they "thought it was cool and spontaneous" which is very irresponsible, but let's forget the part where he got a cat out of nowhere because *thumbs towards door* his wife loves cats, and not the fact he loves them. Loves them enough to not even clean the shitterbox more than once a week.

Purely just soapbox bullshit. His tone in voice when he went off on his love for animals that totally came out of nowhere. His love for animals extends to his family pets he had no responsibility for, his pet rabbit who he probably had because his parents bought it, and a few rodents who got neglected enough to chew through their prison because he took no measures to prevent that.

By the way *grabs spray bottle*, Jasper agrees with me.
 

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