Jasper Carewatch - ASPCAck-Ack-Ack

Surly Muppet

kiwifarms.net
Phil was clearly recounting this story to grandstand on how amazing he was for adopting a pet and giving it a loving home. A declawed cat. That he then had traumatically transported across the country instead of adopting locally. And who he primarily interacts with via the use of The Spray Bottle of Negative Reinforcement. He's an animal ACTIVIST dood.

But my favourite part of the bird story was the subtext. I believe he said this happened in CT. So even when he is on a trip across the country for his wedding, he still runs through the same staple dates. "Let's go to the pet store and look at the animals" has been a Phil staple forever. And keep in mind, they already had Jasper and left him back in CT, so we're now just strictly doing this for amusement.

Well, that and the fucked up analogy where he said you couldn't return 'adopted children to the store' so you shouldn't return pets. Well said Phil. The child adoption stores should have policies for that.
 

Schmeckel

Silver Shamrock
kiwifarms.net
if im not mistaken some bird species DO form what can be assumed is a bond or at least become comfortable in an environment
i'd say this is unlikely to happen within 3-4 days but i've seen weirder shit happen
hell go to youtube and just search videos of people throwing their birds out the windows and it flies right back, they're at least content in the environment they're in
Birds can be REALLY clingy and bond with their person. Some will tolerate other people, but in my experience owning a few feathered friends and being in a home with others, they tend to attach to one person. My mom has this big blue and gold macaw that is okay-ish with other people, but if she's in the room he ONLY wants her. He'll step up for me, but just long enough to take him to mom. He was a rescue and it didn't take long at all for him to become mom's bird.

A couple years back, she fostered an umbrella cockatoo that showed up at one of the bird sanctuary places here in a plastic storage tub, no food, no water, just a small plywood box and a note that said "I'm sorry." Jackson immediately took to me and for whatever reason I was his person. Would ride on my shoulder, groom me, etc. He was like that after just two days of being in the house. He was later adopted by Wayne Newton and when we saw pictures of him afterwards, Jackson was right as rain riding around on Mr New Vegas.

Birds are weird.
 

tzgnilki

kiwifarms.net
I'm not watching that clip because I can't stand to hear his shitty voice but was he referring to the pet being traumatized by a move, or the person doing it? Because unless the cat's life was threatened it's unlikely it remembers enough to care.

Bullets dipped in pigroach fat. Guarantees they won't reach the NEET afterlife.

dave saw a traumatized bird at the CT pet shop, the pet shop owner said it was due to someone adopting it then returning it after 3 days
 

thebonesauce

The North American Jape
kiwifarms.net
If the fountain is the same water that would be in the bowl, I'm not sure why it "moving" would make that much difference. The cat's not drinking from a mountain stream; it's still in the house.

Also, I'd like to see the "scientific" studies that show old dogs are "destroyed emotionally" but having young dogs around. That sounds a lot more like humans projecting their feelings at seeing their older dogs not being able to run around anymore. But if you're giving human emotions to dogs, old people don't see children running and think "Wow, that destroys me inside" so not sure why a dog would.

As a guy who loves dogs and is often involved with them, bringing a younger puppy into a home with an older dog that has gotten slower in lazier in its elder years revitalizes the older dog and gives it incentive to play. No dog is ever going to be, “emotionally destroyed,” because you brought a younger dog into the home. The only way it would destroy the older dog is if you basically ignore it in lieu of the younger dog. Otherwise, getting a (compatible) younger dog is a blessing for older dogs.
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
As a guy who loves dogs and is often involved with them, bringing a younger puppy into a home with an older dog that has gotten slower in lazier in its elder years revitalizes the older dog and gives it incentive to play. No dog is ever going to be, “emotionally destroyed,” because you brought a younger dog into the home. The only way it would destroy the older dog is if you basically ignore it in lieu of the younger dog. Otherwise, getting a (compatible) younger dog is a blessing for older dogs.
Pretty much; we took an old abuse dog because no one wanted her (little tea cup yorkie); she really loves (though is nervous around) our energetic Shih-tzu/Pommy mix since she's playful, but very unaware of her comparative bulk to her.

Still much less inclined to jump about, but much peppier than when we first got her.
 

DiabeticSP

kiwifarms.net
What's the over/under on Jasper being a 'trial baby'? I feel like its thats a rather common dumbfuck mistake people make.

I do think that anything Phil says isn't to be trusted. If Kat ever said ONE thing about how Jasper did something annoying (and probably mildly so) you know the man would have used this as the only excuse he needs to rant about what a bastard Jasper is.

Phil does this with everything. I wonder if Kat has realized her mistake marrying him over his treatment of her kitty baby or if she'll find a way to get knocked up anyways.

I imagine Kat is probably a fine cat owner, Phil just only gives us the world through his weird lense.
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Yeah, Pig hates and fears cats for some autistic reason. I can easily believe he could hear Khet sigh in annoyance if Jasper can't bury shit in the box (Pig don't clean and his declawed nature makes this harder) or if he gets the zooms in bed (cats often do love to run around in the dark), the latter being Pig's fault due to his pathological fear of Jasper eating his wires while he's asleep and refusing to let him out. Pig then uses that annoyance to justify his whining about owning a cat to his tardbase and to try and get rid of him by trying to convince Khet.

Fortunately (or unfortunately), Khet's a gold digger and will not play Pig's little games because she knows he's more desperate to have her than she is him.
 

Toilet Man

Once Upon a Time in... a Dumpster
kiwifarms.net
I'm not watching that clip because I can't stand to hear his shitty voice but was he referring to the pet being traumatized by a move, or the person doing it? Because unless the cat's life was threatened it's unlikely it remembers enough to care.
dave saw a traumatized bird at the CT pet shop, the pet shop owner said it was due to someone adopting it then returning it after 3 days

Dave also said adopting a pet and then returning it is like adopting a child and then returning it. Exceptional and ignorant af but after all he is the same guy who thinks mocking gout is like mocking a missing limb.
 
Last edited:

DarkSoulsPhil

kiwifarms.net
When was the last time Jasper was actually sighted on stream?

Its been bugging me for a while. He (like Kat) are 'there' but the only proof of that is dspThumb. I'm not trying to start a rumour that the Kat (and Jasper) is now gone, but its been a while since I've seen Jasper
 

SkippyLongbottom

kiwifarms.net
When was the last time Jasper was actually sighted on stream?

Its been bugging me for a while. He (like Kat) are 'there' but the only proof of that is dspThumb. I'm not trying to start a rumour that the Kat (and Jasper) is now gone, but its been a while since I've seen Jasper
Anytime Jasper is around, Phil has to chuck him out of the room because he's chewing on wires.

There's no way around this. He cannot maybe hold the cat and pet it or anything. He has to resort to pretty much kicking the cat out when possible.
 

darkwingosonichugorl

Let me tell you the potential of my balls.
kiwifarms.net
When was the last time Jasper was actually sighted on stream?

Its been bugging me for a while. He (like Kat) are 'there' but the only proof of that is dspThumb. I'm not trying to start a rumour that the Kat (and Jasper) is now gone, but its been a while since I've seen Jasper
Christmas stream, I think. 21 December.

 
See, if it weren't readily apparent that he's a shitty person, that'd be a big cue.
Cats are solitary creatures, who mostly mind their own business. You'd have to actively seek one out to be bothered by it.

That's like moving to Alaska and complaining that it's cold.


That does depend on the cat though. All the ones I've owned will actively seek out company and want to sleep on or near you.
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
That does depend on the cat though. All the ones I've owned will actively seek out company and want to sleep on or near you.
There are also asshole cats; one of my gran's cats she had when I was a kid hated my dad and I and would scratch at and ambush us because of it. The difference is that he was kind of an exception, since he was unique out of the five or so I grew up around. The others were either friendly or just kept away from me (usually because I was a bit of a hellion as a little kid).
 

Schmeckel

Silver Shamrock
kiwifarms.net
People keep saying how cats are spiteful creatures, so I'm hoping that one day when Phil is in the full throes of the foreclosure and bankruptcy proceeding, Jasper will rain on his parade by pissing on his fapcouch or in his Sonic hat or something like that.
He'd sit down and say "Honey, did you spray air freshener in here?" Because we all know that khet doesn't work and that the musty ammonia smell would be an immediate upgrade in aroma.
 

Similar threads

"Comedy" network and its money burning subsidiaries, now on a permanently sinking ship, plugging their holes with podcasts, crappy animated shows, a fuck ton of booze, and colored monkeys. Now with more dick pics then anyone asked for.
Replies
865
Views
133K
Tags
None