Jay's dA Journals -

[Le Bateleur]

Aside from his comics and fanfiction, a lot of amusing information about Jay is found in his extensive record of journals on deviantART.

If you come across an interesting journal, post a link here for us to discuss.

Here, for instance, 18 year old Jay makes the amazing discovery that recreation has to be balanced by periods of work:

http://the-golden-knight.deviantart.com/journal/Revelations-222859235

 

[Seahorses]

I wonder how the counselor reacted when this kid walks in and says, "I want to be a hero, in a golden suit of armor... that has room for strap-ons."

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Realizes he does nothing but get R&R. Doesn't get a job until 4 years later.

 

[Total Dingus]

75% of his journals from early 2014 are him complaining about how tired he is, and complaining about having to take tests, having trouble diagnosing Internet problems even though he has A+ Genius Compu-Tron Certification, complaining how tired he is, complaining that his computer is giving off "electric radiation" and hurting his eyes, and not understanding the difference between the words "nuance" and "nuisance".

 

[Seahorses]

Realizes he does nothing but get R&R. Doesn't get a job until 4 years later.

It was more like a temp position.

 

[Le Bateleur]

75% of his journals from early 2014 are him complaining about how tired he is, and complaining about having to take tests, having trouble diagnosing Internet problems even though he has A+ Genius Compu-Tron Certification, complaining how tired he is, complaining that his computer is giving off "electric radiation" and hurting his eyes, and not understanding the difference between the words "nuance" and "nuisance".

It seems like he's something of a hypochondriac. Whenever he writes about feeling under the weather there's always a fear that he's got something serious.

 

[Total Dingus]

He lists "hypochondria" as one of his serious illnesses.

 

[Le Bateleur]

He lists "hypochondria" as one of his serious illnesses.

Oh . Are you able to link to this?

 

[Total Dingus]

Oh . Are you able to link to this?

http://the-golden-knight.deviantart.com/journal/Perpetually-Sleepy-427064718

... in which Jay decides that he's always sleepy because he's warm, and not because he has absolutely zero activity in his life aside from playing video games, jacking off, and eating garbage.

The more you read, the more you realize that Jay's perception of the world is truly as he presents it: everyone else is an automaton, and when he has a "revelation", it's usually something that someone of even average intelligence doesn't have the need to state and congratulate themselves on. He's the only conscious human being. It's solipsism in action.

 

[Poison_Ivy]

I won't lie, I'm a bit of a hypochondriac too, but he never seems to leave the house unless he's forced to so he has no reason to worry about getting sick.

 

[Total Dingus]

http://the-golden-knight.deviantart...ite-Pilot-Epic-2-Blocks-and-Nothing-404385671

... in which Jay laments not being able to find work. He's applied to Bethesda (a game studio), and always puts on his resumes that he has EXPLOSIVE DIARRH.... ENTHUSIASM, but mostly, he just Crashes into Slumber because Motivations aren't what they could be right now. Everyone in his house is unemployed at this time.

But wait, it's not that he can't find work - it's that he refuses to be a "minion" with his Epic College Education. He actively won't find work, unless that first job is being a manager or knight or spacefighter. And his brother is a fat fatty fat pig and calls Jay a "holocaust survivor" because of his skeleton body. Because eating is such a CHORE.

Even back then, people were calling him out for his terrible art.

 

[kukkahattutäti]

Even my award-winning application to Bethesda Game Studios (known for spawning the award-winning franchises Fallout and Elder Scrolls) fell eerily silent; and they were in the "add insult to injury by sending an automated confirmation" category. However, I will give them the benefit of the doubt, meaning that if there's no need for a writer of my magnitude, as in they aren't making the next Triple-A video game at this time, then it is truth to say they don't need anyone for that position at this time, so adding me to the payroll would be pointless assuming there's any truth to this.

That is some beautiful delusion right there.

 

[Picklechu]

75% of his journals from early 2014 are him complaining about how tired he is, and complaining about having to take tests, having trouble diagnosing Internet problems even though he has A+ Genius Compu-Tron Certification, complaining how tired he is, complaining that his computer is giving off "electric radiation" and hurting his eyes, and not understanding the difference between the words "nuance" and "nuisance".

And, despite this, he still leaves short, curt comments criticizing other peoples' spelling and grammar.

He lists "hypochondria" as one of his serious illnesses.

Hmmm, interesting...

http://the-golden-knight.deviantart...ite-Pilot-Epic-2-Blocks-and-Nothing-404385671

... in which Jay laments not being able to find work. He's applied to Bethesda (a game studio), and always puts on his resumes that he has EXPLOSIVE DIARRH.... ENTHUSIASM, but mostly, he just Crashes into Slumber because Motivations aren't what they could be right now. Everyone in his house is unemployed at this time.

But wait, it's not that he can't find work - it's that he refuses to be a "minion" with his Epic College Education. He actively won't find work, unless that first job is being a manager or knight or spacefighter. And his brother is a fat fatty fat pig and calls Jay a "holocaust survivor" because of his skeleton body. Because eating is such a CHORE.

Even back then, people were calling him out for his terrible art.

Those peasants at Bethesda just can't see how great GK is, or they're trying to oppress him instead of making him their supreme leader in order to protect their own power. It's totes obvs, guys.

 

[EzioCanLeapofFaith]

I'll admit I'm surprised he didn't apply for concept artist

 

[Le Bateleur]

I would dearly love to see that "award-winning Bethesda application"...

 

[Total Dingus]

http://the-golden-knight.deviantart.com/journal/Next-Step-318993758

... in which Jay decides that he NEEDS A TUTOR. He doesn't really know for what - but all he knows is that he's not epic, and he needs someone else's help. For the years following this, advice would be inputed and taken to heart, but things are very stressful and progress is slow. Actually, he'd ignore all advice and keep on doing the same shit. Hundreds of journals, hundreds of suggestions from dA people, and he's still drawing the same stuff.

Jay actually needs a MENTOR, but doesn't know the difference - he just wants someone to tell him how to be epic at something. Yes, even pinball.

Of course, his quest for a mentor is thwarted because searching the words "epic" and "golden" and "nettle dildo" isn't bringing up anyone in his immediate area who can mentor him. He really doesn't care how he accomplishes fame. At all. He just wants fame so that he can somehow conquer the NPCs.

However, for countless journals, he complains of "worker's block". He's given a name to his laziness, and uses it as a shield for doing nothing for years on end. If I were to give him the benefit of the doubt, I might suggest that it's clinical depression masked by this character he puts forward... but I really just think that it's his mom powdering his bony bottom.

Read them all together and it's like he's trapped in time. He makes statements years ago about what he wants to do and can't do and it may as well be stuff that he said today. His life is slowly slipping away, and nothing changes, year after year. In 2025, he'll be livestreaming from the same room and working on Pilot Epic 4, wondering why no one is buying it.

 

[sikotik]

In this entry dated February 8 2014 Jay finds the perfect excuse to not improve on his art.
He also laments the fact that no one will ever hire him, so he needs to buckle down and make his comics for a living, but isn't too motivated due to a lack of a fanbase. Finally he writes a condensed version of "The Master Plan".

 

[kukkahattutäti]

^Of course he likes Death Note.

If GK was a disease he'd be HIV.

Also he doesn't choose anything for any questions relating to plants/vegetables. Riveting, I know.

 

[Poison_Ivy]

Tempted to be his mentor.....must stop my inner ween.

 

[Total Dingus]

"Mostly, I've been reflecting on the human soul. I believe that while everyone is initially given one, most people choose to discard it in favor of the shallow or vein (usually socialites, but some social people may not sacrifce [sic] their identities for the sake of making friends or "hanging out")."

So, Jay doesn't believe that everyone is born an NPC, but they become NPCs by having friends and spending time with them, because making friends requires that you give up your soul. Jay does not realize that decent human beings don't really have to become someone else to be acceptable to others.

WIZARD POWERS, ACTIVATE!

These journals are a genuinely fascinating view into the unedited mind of a weird kid with a severe personality disorder. And a voice only a deaf mother could love.