Jay's God given writing talent -

[deadson]

It seems as though Jay truly believes that his writing is better than his art. While it's not as eyebleedingly obvious as his art, his writing still comes across incredibly horrid and hard to follow. At best he writes as well as a first grader, with no regards to the rules of writing and grammar. Ironically he's been seen to be a grammar Nazi, making his written works a rather hilarious if not rage inducing hypocritical piece of art in itself.

His latest work, Ultimate Quest for Glory, is only a snapshot of the lack of any writing talent.

His artist's comment box will be in a different post as it is longer than the actual prologue.

Good luck giving him critiques, he rarely ever considers editing his work based on your advice.

In addition to his lack of any written talent, Jay also shows some very disturbing psyche and thought processing. A clear example was his Border Skirmish story, in which Lisa goes to El Paso to destroy sand people and have her vagina shot by the head honcho. In this story we can also see that Jay lives in a fantasy world beyond understanding and reason, for not only does Lisa live, she orgasms while her vitals are shot to shreds. Her cure is a medkit Jay never mentioned and thus, she walks away as a total badass babe.

 

[Gullik]

I think this emoticon sums my feelings about Jay's magnificent story pretty well:

Now, I'm no writer but even I can see that this is pretty badly written and the story itself is just retarded. It's something a 10 year old would think up after discovering some cool video game.

 

[deadson]

I think this emoticon sums my feelings about Jay's magnificent story pretty well:

Now, I'm no writer but even I can see that this is pretty badly written and the story itself is just retarded. It's something a 10 year old would think up after discovering some cool video game.

Well, I think it's fairly obvious that Jay has the intelligence of a child to begin with, so it sounds fairly accurate.

 

[Idling]

Here's one of his works that got published in his college newspaper (or something like that).

Spoiler: "Creative" Writing

If you can't be bothered to read it (and who'd blame you), you didn't miss anything. Two nameless supersoldiers, simply named Hero 1 and Hero 2 (Hero 2 being Hero 1s girlfriend - that's also her only character trait - surprise!), fight a group of criminals.
They defeat the gangsters with ease, there's no tension or danger whatsoever and most of the text is concerned with establishing a really vague and generic setting that is of no importance to anything within the story. The only time the main character is in any danger of injuring himself, happens when - after defeating all enemies - he jumps through a skylight for no reason other than maybe to look cool.

Jay really doesn't seem to have have a lot of creativity and instead chooses to recycle the same ideas, plotpoints and characters over and over again.

 

[deadson]

His artist comment boxes are text walled stories in themselves, providing information that we never figure out unless we dredge up the courage to slog through the mess that his GOD GIVEN TALENT.

 

[Le Bateleur]

Jay's writing is a goldmine of fail. He seems to find it a lot easier than drawing - he types at a pretty decent speed and, as mentioned above, always seems to have plenty of motivation when it comes to writing artist's notes of great length and detail.
Jay has written a lot of fanfiction covering PPG, the Mr Men, Bomberman, Call of Duty and his own Hero Team.
All of it is terrible because Jay has no idea of what the reader wants.
He's actually a lot better at non-fiction. His grammar is still poor and he has frequent odd turns of phrase, but if he had the right subject he could possibly write something that was useful and informative.

 

[Coster]

He's actually a lot better at non-fiction. His grammar is still poor and he has frequent odd turns of phrase, but if he had the right subject he could possibly write something that was useful and informative.

But that wouldn't be BADASS and EPIC if it wasn't a BADASS EPIC, now would it?

 

[Le Bateleur]

But that wouldn't be BADASS and EPIC if it wasn't a BADASS EPIC, now would it?

He could write those terrible gung-ho "military histories" about how the righteous 'Muricans/Brits/Romans slaughtered the evil barbarian darkies.

 

[Coster]

He could write those terrible gung-ho "military histories" about how the righteous 'Muricans/Brits/Romans slaughtered the evil barbarian darkies.

Like seriously though, Jay is wholly incapable of writing anything of note for multiple reasons. His fiction is riddled with trite bullshit, and if he were to write non-fiction, what the fuck would/could he write about without it turning into fiction?

 

[Le Bateleur]

Like seriously though, Jay is wholly incapable of writing anything of note for multiple reasons. His fiction is riddled with trite bullshit, and if he were to write non-fiction, what the fuck would/could he write about without it turning into fiction?

Ironically, given his professed hatred of politics, the only thing I can think of him doing with any kind of success is populist right-wing opinion pieces. His tenuous grasp of reality, inability to empathise or admit fault, and habit of forming strong opinions about things he doesn't understand would actually help him in this

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

Can you imagine him trying to write usable technical documentation? And I don't mean for his totally pimped-out 2008 gaming rig. I mean for, like, a toaster.

 

[Coster]

Can you imagine him trying to write usable technical documentation? And I don't mean for his totally pimped-out 2008 gaming rig. I mean for, like, a toaster.

"Ideally, the plug should be leading out of the bottom of the toaster and into the electrical socket. What charges through here is half power, half power, and FULL power! There's a difference, something I learned from Duke Nukem Forever. I'm sure you can catch all these references in this Death Star!"

 

[Idling]

"Ideally, the plug should be leading out of the bottom of the toaster and into the electrical socket. What charges through here is half power, half power, and FULL power! There's a difference, something I learned from Duke Nukem Forever. I'm sure you can catch all these references in this Death Star!"

Warning: This Toaster manual might have some mature content later on. Cue - a series of badly drawn MS Paint images depicting women sticking their feet into the toaster.

 

[NormanMarkus]

Jay Geis: The man who can somehow write some of the least coherent writing seen in years. I mean, seriously. No character development, an uninteresting plot, dialogue that leaves any remainder of sanity in the very gutters of one's mind. It's a disgusting mess of failure, mixed into a blender of self worth.

In layman's terms, it's poopy. Really poopy.

 

[Jonzun]

Jay's writing ability is comparable to that of a 12 year old. This isn't a random age that I pulled out of my ass to deride Jay, allow me to explain:

Within the UK education system children's writing is usually assessed within a set of guidelines in accordance with the national curriculum. These levels are used until the age of 14 where assessment will be typically based on predicted final examination results (which have a different grading system and assessment criteria). These levels range from 1 - 8, with 1 being the lowest and 8 the highest. Typically, it's expected that most children achieve at least a level 6 by the time they are 14. To achieve a level 6, it needs to be demonstrated that the writer is able to use a range of sentence features (such as using a fronted adverbial or prepositional phrases), appropriate usage of grammar and punctuation whilst allowing for some mistakes, showing a consideration for the reader's reactions by structuring the narrative in a way that anticipates the reader's questions, demonstrating a variety of conventions and forms which are adapted appropriately (such as showing an emphasis on narration rather than plot) and accurately judging the appropriate vocabulary which the reader would understand.

After reading through what has been posted on this page, I cannot say personally that he is able to achieve this level of writing.

Especially in The Ultimate Quest For Glory chapters, Jay starts most sentences in the exact same way, with the subject first with a verb following (e.g. Lily bolts, she hurried, he surmised). Whilst he sometimes places an adverb before the verb (e.g. he awkwardly amended), he shows very little variation in sentence structure and generally lacks the usage of connectives, clauses, similes, metaphors or prepositions when starting a sentence.

In the examples on this page, the only time I've seen him use variation of punctuation is the semi-colons in the prologue, which he uses incorrectly:

"So the trio worked every free minute they had together, through the epic metal montage of months on end as they toiled; Jay scheming and roaring his literally earth-quaking ideas nonstop as his rocking in his chair seriously shook the floorboards".

Firstly, the two sentences would not make sense separately and thus the usage of a semi-colon is inappropriate. Secondly, had Jay not made the mistake of confusing tense mid-sentence, it's possible the sentences separately could make sense. Taking this into account, he has not shown when it is appropriate to use semi-colons and thus lacks variety with punctuation.

Whilst Jay doesn't wholly focus on explaining the plot, he lacks appropriate narrative. In the two chapters posted he has made no accurate judgement on what type of questions the reader will ask, lacking a significant amount of detail. What is Lily's personality? How does she interact with others? What reflections does she have about the events portrayed in the story? Why did she accept a quest without any sense of doubt? All of this is discarded to push forward a plot that doesn't seem to be clearly structured. For these reasons, the story is difficult to relate to and also demonstrates a lack of narrative conventions and forms.

Given the other areas that I've focused on, vocabulary does seem to be Jay's strongest point. However, he even fumbles here through the usage of NPCs without any attempt at explaining what the abbreviation means and why characters are referred to as NPCs. To many unfamiliar with terms used in the gaming community (which is a lot of people), the writing would appear to be idiosyncratic and loses meaning.

Jay does show he can structure paragraphs and whilst the overall story is flawed, the paragraphs do logically link together with a clear purpose. He does use connectives and sometimes expands on detail varying the length of sentences, albeit sparingly. Jay also does show an attempt to write an engaging story with some imaginative detail, although he does appeared flawed in detail and characterisation. He does show he's thought about the vocabulary used and generally it makes sense, again though he does sometimes make mistakes with using correct vocabulary. I'd personally say his writing is comparable to that of someone writing at around Level 5.

Just for reference, in 2013 30% of children in the UK leaving primary school achieved a Level 5 in writing.

 

[Ron_Swanson]

Jay has written a lot of fanfiction covering PPG, the Mr Men, Bomberman, Call of Duty and his own Hero Team.

There really is no sport in dissecting Jay's abominable works of fart, but since this is the thread about his writing I want to read though his Call of Duty fics, but not enough to brave his gallery looking for them, help a brother out?

Though by all intents and purposes if the Bomberman fics get kinky I bet those are a LOT more interesting in all the frightfully wrong ways only the Pyrite Buffoon can come up with...

 

[Mechanism Eight]

There really is no sport in dissecting Jay's abominable works of fart, but since this is the thread about his writing I want to read though his Call of Duty fics, but not enough to brave his gallery looking for them, help a brother out?

Though by all intents and purposes if the Bomberman fics get kinky I bet those are a LOT more interesting in all the frightfully wrong ways only the Pyrite Buffoon can come up with...

If the Bomberman fics get kinky we can be sure things will go out with a bang.

...I'm sorry, someone had to say it.