Jeffery Allen / Gottfried Roser / Grandmaster Roser / Talon Combat System / Roser Martial Arts Center - "Most Dangerous Man on The Planet," Mall Ninja, Military Trained Keyboard Warrior

JosephTX

Joseph Guillaume of Houston, Don't Mess With Texas
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My favorite part is the charge for "wrongful inhalation of shoe cleaner". It implies that there is a right way to inhale shoe cleaner, and this clown didn't do it. I'm sure Jeff Allen knows when, where, why, and how to inhale shoe cleaner properly; perhaps he'll be willing to show us? Maybe he'll even show the secret Shoe Cleaner Inhalation no Jutsu he learned from his sensei and taught to elite German commandos! Unless that would be disclosure of classified information of course.


This guy looks like a third world dictator. The name fits too.
"Shoe cleaner" was how synthetic cocaine aka bath salts were sold and labled when they were still legal.
 

AnOminous

Really?
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
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"Shoe cleaner" was how synthetic cocaine aka bath salts were sold and labled when they were still legal.
They also sold poppers as "record cleaner" in gay porn shops. It's pretty common to sell shit used as drugs as some other mislabeled thing that would be legal. Or as paraphernalia, like those crack pipes sold as "roses."
 

Dogfish Head

True & Honest Fan
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Wow, thank you! One question:


So did I get it wrong or did he?

By the way, this discussion is incomplete without a mention of Michael McManus, one of the dumber military fakes in recent history:

View attachment 885024

The soul patch alone makes this a bad joke, but then there's the rest of...that.
On top of all those other medals, I really enjoyed the fact he was walking around wearing something that: "... appears to indicate he is the Commander of the British Empire". Where do they even buy this stuff?
 

AprilRains

Drowning Pumpkin
True & Honest Fan
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Reactions: Dogfish Head

JosephTX

Joseph Guillaume of Houston, Don't Mess With Texas
kiwifarms.net
They also sold poppers as "record cleaner" in gay porn shops. It's pretty common to sell shit used as drugs as some other mislabeled thing that would be legal. Or as paraphernalia, like those crack pipes sold as "roses."
Firstly, I think you mean Video Head Cleaner

They don't sell those as roses anymore, they're simply ["Tobacco Water Pipe"(Bong)] Replacement [bowl] stems now
 
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AnOminous

Really?
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Firstly, I think you mean Video Head Cleaner

They don't sell those as roses anymore, they're simply ["Tobacco Water Pipe"(Bong)] Replacement [bowl] stems now
They sold them as lots of things. Including leather cleaner. Which was at least plausible.
 

JosephTX

Joseph Guillaume of Houston, Don't Mess With Texas
kiwifarms.net
O

OB 946

Guest
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I think hes a special kind of cow that has convinced himself that he isnt wrong and his lies are true

@Crippled Eagle Read his response to the FOIA. its not factual because classified. It doesnt show """ALL""" his super top secret training and duty stations.
This might be the biggest meme I've ever seen. I honestly don't understand it. Jobs and training aren't classified, regardless of MOS. Everyone knows about even the spooky stuff like SERE and BUD/S. Even the most elite units plaster actual training on shows like Surviving the Cut. It just baffles me. I guess that's the goal though, right? If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

It came out later that Kyle was fond of telling tall tales. He wasn't pants-on-fire ridiculous like Herr Roser but he certainly wasn't truthful enough to take what he said at face value either. But, y'know, whatever. He had enough actual shit he did that he gets a pass for embellishing to make a story more interesting. It's entertainment, not history.
Chris Kyle was a piece of shit and deserved what he got. He lied about everything. He said he was deployed to Nawlins after Katrina and shot looters, claiming he killed dozens of American citizens. He didn't. He said he shot 2 dudes to death at a gas station and the cops showed up so he gave the deputy sheriff his card and says "call the pentagon" and drove off. He's a faggot. the biggest shit move though was how he got his kills. I have it on good authority that there is no way any sniper could legitimately get that many kills. Supposedly he scored many, maybe most of his kills by sniper baiting by leaving a gun or mortar or ammo in the open and shooting the women and children they send to get them.

Chris Kyle is arguably one of the biggest pieces of shit in American military history, and would've probably ended up in prison if it wasn't for joining the military.
 
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Kheapathic

Good boy go to Heaven, bad boy go to New Jersey
kiwifarms.net
He's a faggot. the biggest shit move though was how he got his kills. I have it on good authority that there is no way any sniper could legitimately get that many kills. Supposedly he scored many, maybe most of his kills by sniper baiting by leaving a gun or mortar or ammo in the open and shooting the women and children they send to get them.
Can't say for certain as I'm not a ground pounder or know many of them; but of the ones I do know and talk to, most sniper kills anymore are targets of opportunity. They do get packages to go and assassinate targets; but with our air power being what it is, just being able to reach out and touch someone at will, they get tasked with recon and overwatch more often. Especially as cover and concealment is far harder to come by in the Middle East than it is in South East Asia; it's less risky to send a couple of jets to flatten a compound or wreck a convoy if there's no hint of intel or hidey holes.
 

ColtWalker1847

kiwifarms.net
Supposedly he scored many, maybe most of his kills by sniper baiting by leaving a gun or mortar or ammo in the open and shooting the women and children they send to get them.
Huh.

I just never bought into it wholesale and figured he was just embellishing (not too unusual for the puffed up war hero types. See Pappy Boyington's "kills") because doesn't the spotter do like 99% of the work in those sniper teams and the trigger man just a highly trained marksman? Shouldn't that guy be up on charges if Kyle was mowing down women and kids?
 
O

OB 946

Guest
kiwifarms.net
Huh.

I just never bought into it wholesale and figured he was just embellishing (not too unusual for the puffed up war hero types. See Pappy Boyington's "kills") because doesn't the spotter do like 99% of the work in those sniper teams and the trigger man just a highly trained marksman? Shouldn't that guy be up on charges if Kyle was mowing down women and kids?
No. Technically it's legal. If anyone actually investigates he can just point and be like "yeah okay but that little boy has a mortar shell." Even if it has been planted there and is disarmed. This is why most people in the SOF community that think he's a piece of shit. One of my buddies is a spotter for the crayon eaters and he's stated multiple times that it is impossible for him to have nearly as many kills as he says he does unless he was actively baiting non combatants.
 

Kheapathic

Good boy go to Heaven, bad boy go to New Jersey
kiwifarms.net
Huh.

I just never bought into it wholesale and figured he was just embellishing (not too unusual for the puffed up war hero types. See Pappy Boyington's "kills") because doesn't the spotter do like 99% of the work in those sniper teams and the trigger man just a highly trained marksman? Shouldn't that guy be up on charges if Kyle was mowing down women and kids?
Can't say how they decide who shoots and who spots; but each member of a team goes through Sniper School and is capable of doing either job. That aside, Kyle was also a SEAL, and even outside of special forces, shit changes as needed. Snipers don't always operate as a sniper team, they can go on patrol with a regular platoon/squad/fireteam; then if tasked to provide overwatch, then they can be alone in their perch/hideyhole. Then whoever they bait and shoot only has one witness. It's way too complicated to even theorize how every kill went down; because the first rule about SOPs in a warzone is the plan always fails, and your backup plan fails, and your second backup plan fails.