Jenny Craig? 03/10/21 - TLDW; She is going back on Jenny Craig

I call shenanigans
She already quit Jenny Craig.

She'd quit before this video had even finished loading. Just wasn't going to waste the effort she put into filming it.

Edit to add. What do you do when you fail three times on a diet that causes you to binge every single day...go on an even more restrictive version of it. At least Becky took her snap back off long enough to slap her in the face with it. Seems like Becky has finally checked out on Amber's lunacy.

So Amber claims she needs to put herself first for a while. Has there ever been a time when she didn't?

Every since the move she's flatlined. I miss the old house, Eric, and Ricky.

Her weight graph on My Fitness Pal begs to differ. 😂
Last edited:

DCMedia Sped
...Anyway, someone drop me a message when she finally fucking croaks :shit-eating:

I've completely lost interest in her at this point. I miss the ugly tassel-lined grandma tops, the poop bun and oversized bow combo, the orange chicken feeding sessions at Cheesecake Factory, the late night Wal-Mart hauls, the hilarious tension between her and Rickie... I don't even get to laugh at her train wreck body because she exclusively shoots chest up these days (:_(
Every since the move she's flatlined. I miss the old house, Eric, and Ricky.


The sound of your impending doom
Is she blazed in this video?

I don't get why what Becky said upset her. How did she get "she doesn't believe in me" from that? Sounds more like, "she wants me to succeed, so we're getting rid of food not on the program."
At least on the surface. It's more like, Becky knows the drill: get rid of junk food so we can pretend Al's dieting. Do not comment on/spill the beans about the still-continuous fast food deliveries.

Amber has no relationship with Becky. It's more like they're engaged in a gross ménage a trois, and Becky is getting cucked by food. This is why I'm convinced they've broken up, or at the very least are on strained terms. When Amber talks about her fiancée, she's throwing Becky under the bus. Or it's in an emotionally distant, neutral manner.

Empress of Lucite

I'm just a dry gorl
All my sad lamenting for gorls gone by aside, her belief that Jenny Craig will give her "rapid results" is fucking hilarious.

Amber is incapable of accepting the fact that her weight and her body are at the point of total disaster. She is in a state of emergency and her body is already slowly shutting down. Each time she deludes herself into thinking if she just eats the right amount of calories she'll be fine, she inches closer to an embarrassing and gross death. She requires intervention and medical procedures to switch gears and stop her current freefall into her plus size coffin.
Last edited:

She is bigger than ever, filming at all hours of the night, screeching how she will never give up by always giving up almost immediately and is still sans engagement ring or any Becky or pet sightings.

If she wasn't predictable and boring she'd be nothing at this point. Chantal is out there shitting on the road and deep throating pizza like it's BiBi's dick. Hamber needs to get with the program and have a stroke or something.

Turd Fergusson
I wonder if she started Jenny Craig because she has an upcoming doctor appointment and having a CT scan. She probably gained about 50 pounds since the surgery and the doctor would want to have her current weight and she is embarrassed. She also wants to be able to fit the CT machine. This is why she is doing the « rapid results max ». We will know that she had the appointment when she is off the diet.

Surprised Pikachu

The face of 2021
Yeah, I can understand not seeing Becky (although it’s weird, she was into so many videos previous to this and now not even a voice in the background)? but it’s Twinkie I miss and find strange. Wee doggo was everywhere and a constant noise and presence. I can’t understand her not appearing, even at night dogs will investigate and want to be with you if you’re up. Hope she’s ok.


Local Moderator
True & Honest Fan
However, I could do without the "taste test" videos. You can only watch a morbidly obese women cream her panties over microwaved pasta so many times, yknowhatimean?
The way she always says "I'm so nervous" is what makes my eye start twitching.
30 days? I’ll give it less than a week.
The only way she makes 30 days is if she's already pre-filmed all of it.

Turd Fergusson
This, rapid results are usually meant for post-pregnancy or girls that are just trying to lose a few pounds before summer, not a 600 lb gorl.
Agree. Any commercial diets are usually meant for people wanting to lose about at 20 to 50 lbs. Amber needs to lose 350 to 400 lbs. Only a medically supervised weight loss programme would work for her.
She only does this to show people that she still on a weight loss « journey », or as I suggested, she wants to lose weight before her dr. appointment. This is all for show. The girl likes to eat too much.

Slappy McGherkin

Bartender? Make that a double.
True & Honest Fan
She only does this to show people that she still on a weight loss « journey »,

Egg-saktly. But how can you take the road you've traveled so many times already and still end up in the middle of nowhere? The only "journey" in her future is the EMT's breaking down walls to load her into the coroner's van.

Death certificate will read "Death by Oranjee Cheekun."


Fattest Among Thousands, Altogether Lethargic
Did #Amberlynn get a bigger nose ring or is that the same one? It seemed to be catching the light differently.

Fat Amber needs to stop acting like an innocent lil' creature that doesn't understand weight loss/gain. At 30 years old she is the size she is, because she wants to be. I guess it's getting her attention on youtube though, so I don't know.

DefCon Dumb

Confronter of Cryptoid Cuntiness
True & Honest Fan
An experience or new venture where a person 'fails' is often not so much a failure as a learning experience... IF they reflect upon why what they had tried didn't work, learn some valuable lessons & apply them to the next attempt or experience. Amber dives into new diets with no real attempt to understand what she's doing & how it's supposed to work. Does the diet name or "expected results" make sense in light of what is generally known about nutrition & weight loss?

Amber is as much a consumer of diets as she is the tacky bling she loves to bury herself in. If it's flashy & sparkly or if enough Hollyweird types or influencers are trying something then by God, it might be good enough for her!

Had a look at the new Jenny Craig program. Yeah, I read fine print. In the first 4 weeks you can lose 'up to' 17bs. AVERAGE weight loss for all people completing the program is 13 lbs. Any highly overweight person starting & sticking with, any proper diet is going to lose that, as a lot of fluid will be dumped by strictly lowering salt consumption. After that, the program says you can expect to lose 1-2 lbs. per week... 2 lbs. a week is a sensible amount & anyone buying & preparing wholesome, fresh foods at home & limiting their intake can do that & probably much more cheaply.

But Amber doesn't like to think... about anything remotely unpleasant & Lord knows dieting meets that criterium. She's to 'fast' 14 hours a day... at least half of that is sleeping time, so not really impressive or tough. You're supposed to break your fast using the Magic Bar provided. A cursory look at the ingredients & nutritional info show it's nothing special; basically a nut bar with honey as a sweetener. Increase fat burn as claimed? Not buying but I can see that it could curb your hunger enough to make it the 2 hours until your scheduled breakfast.

Eating 5 times in 10 hours. Okay in the first month or more as you get used to smaller portions but after that it's time to get used to more reasonable intervals between meas.

Edit: computer glitch &... I looked up the JC job description for coaches. High school diplomas although they'd prefer SOME, (major unspecified), college. Reasonable pay & yes, commission is added to that. You also get discounts on YOUR JC program supplies & your fees are waived. Most telling, the preferred experience is in SALES, followed by computing.
Last edited:

Similar threads

SmugLynn returns and creams her panties while eating microwaved pasta
Child-grooming Youtuber and general creep, sent underage fans explicit content because he was "depressed"
The lolcow is not only her but people around her, and their decline online (Margaret Pless, etc)