IIRC correctly Mido was a minor character from the start of the game who bullied Link a bit but apart from that did absolutely nothing of note.
Jessica Marie Saiter / Andy Saiter / AndySaiterArtwork / Octavius Opus / KinkyFurs / BizzarreProductions / RadSlad / ElegantMarzipan - Splatoon Otherkin, Aspiring Artist and Author, "FatFur", Autistic "Nonbinary", "Pop-Culture Pagan", never had a relationship; turned down real men for an Octopus DJ. Can't write an original story to save her life.
- Thread starter Nagibatel
- Start date
He's a mook. He's the jealous, sneaky character that acts like you're his rival even though he's an incompetent loser that never leaves the forest. This may be related to her henchman thing.
She identifies with characters nobody likes because being unlikeable is literally part of her identity. She indulges in her fits and childish behavior and defends being that way several times in those discord chats.
So at what point is the kinnie getting cancelled if the kinning the permachild forest kid while also fantasizing on sexual fictional relationships for unhealthy amounts of time due to being unlovable irl ends up manifesting as pedo link husbando kin-self-insert ship art posted on a discord server where it gets leaked or something? rate me rainbows but tumblr and twitter kin circle trends and the vicarious self insert shipping by proxy with kintypes is a trend i've already observed, and there has to be more under the hood aside from thinly veiled husbando tentafuck thirst.
I've heard something about her getting kicked from the Otherkin Amino, if that's worth digging into.
The story I've heard is, and unfortunately I can only provide a secondhand account for this, so you'll have to take my word for it, is that she deleted her amino account because she was being harassed by another user, so I think that might be a dead end.
EDIT: Latest happenings: She has done three recent streams of her playing ToonTown, her avatar is a fat pig. Ah, the irony.
Also she got into one of her usual long reddit arguments over astrology.
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"My writing has great pacing"
Flats discussion
Flats discussion
Andogynous descends from on-high to offer writing advice to the people with the lower literary IQ, and as always, manages to get into more Reddit comment slapfights.
She throws a fit when people suggest that she's not actually that smart.
Ok seriously what the fuck kind of entitled response is this.
This kind of post really takes the piss, but what I would love to see is the paperwork that proves her 140 language IQ, pics or it didn't happen Androgynous.
EDIT:
This has spawned not one, but TWO parody posts where people call her out on being shit. Of course, Androgynous noticed and responded to these because she can't not go one Reddit thread without trying to fight someone.
Interesting that she actually rewrote the first chapter though, that means the copy we have here is outdated now and she actually took criticism for once in her life.
EDIT 2:
Satire post number 3.
Found another pickle rick version of this (real original, Reddit), but it came out shortly after Androgynous' post and does not reference her "writing career" at all so it's not important, but yes she responded to that too).
She edited her comment on the first satire post to read this:
And this might quite possibly be my favourite thing she's ever said.
She throws a fit when people suggest that she's not actually that smart.
Ok seriously what the fuck kind of entitled response is this.
Ok, I'm not going to deny that her advice does have some merit, but two things bug me about it, one is how smug she is about sharing it and the other is how she failed to follow this advice in her own book. The opening paragraph/section is as follows.
It was made of glass, tinted red, and had two rows of little suction cups molded along one side.
“Do people really put this thing up their cooch?” I held up the glass dildo for the cashier to see. Lover’s Paradise might have been a local legend because it carried so many weird novelty toys, but I still couldn’t believe anyone would spend sixty dollars on a pseudo-tentacle.
I WAS going to do a full analysis on why she can't take her own advice but I think everyone knows her opening is terrible and it's not hard to see why it's that way.
It was made of glass, tinted red, and had two rows of little suction cups molded along one side.
“Do people really put this thing up their cooch?” I held up the glass dildo for the cashier to see. Lover’s Paradise might have been a local legend because it carried so many weird novelty toys, but I still couldn’t believe anyone would spend sixty dollars on a pseudo-tentacle.
I WAS going to do a full analysis on why she can't take her own advice but I think everyone knows her opening is terrible and it's not hard to see why it's that way.
This kind of post really takes the piss, but what I would love to see is the paperwork that proves her 140 language IQ, pics or it didn't happen Androgynous.
EDIT:
This has spawned not one, but TWO parody posts where people call her out on being shit. Of course, Androgynous noticed and responded to these because she can't not go one Reddit thread without trying to fight someone.
Interesting that she actually rewrote the first chapter though, that means the copy we have here is outdated now and she actually took criticism for once in her life.
EDIT 2:
Satire post number 3.
Found another pickle rick version of this (real original, Reddit), but it came out shortly after Androgynous' post and does not reference her "writing career" at all so it's not important, but yes she responded to that too).
She edited her comment on the first satire post to read this:
And this might quite possibly be my favourite thing she's ever said.
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Why has Jessica been hiding behind her OpusTales Reddit account so much lately?
I have two guesses:
1. She's been reading the thread and is worried about repercussions about some of the stuff she did involving waifuists recently (specifically: grooming a schizo into otherkinism)
2. Same as above, but about the pokephilia and age of consent and other debacles from the past few weeks.
Either way she's in a bit of an awkward situation at the moment, so she's probably trying to use ElegantMarzipan less to draw less attention to herself. I could always be wrong though, just some ideas.
edit:
nvm i guess
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Yeah, I've noticed that this thread shows up in her Google results for everything but "OpusTales" so I figured she was trying to hide behind the moniker even though she seems to know that we know it.
Also lol she's definitely bipolar manic lately.
edit: mods already nuked her comment, but here's an archive of her comments page showing her reply this to the question.
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Sorry for the double post, but @Monkey Pink just pointed this little trainwreck post out to me:
(archive)
sorry for the wall of text there. of course marzi would cram her personal woe is me trauma peter pan syndrome into defending herself from genuine criticism. like all good lolcows, she wants to act like she accepts criticism, but cannot.
it is simple - if people don't want to read what you're writing, they're not gonna read it. and if you don't want to change that, people won't read the book. there's no way to MAKE people want to read a book about someone jerking off to an octopus game character if they're already not interested. but she won't budge on that, as she says. also the assumption that YA would equal child sex when you can write a YA book with 18+ characters. 18-19 are still teenage years that YA audiences will relate and resonate with. But alas. It has to be personal, and by that, a retelling of her life how she views and wishes it to be, I guess.
and the highlight:
"i fucked any chance of selling my book to pwn the trolls" is the funniest thing i've read all day!
edit:
new website boys
marzi, please come talk to us, we would love to have you here.
she has a link at the bottom to a "full" version of the site, not mobile friendly, aaand
can you tell graphic design is her passion?
yeah, there's a lot to unpack. sorry this is such a long post!
(archive)
sorry for the wall of text there. of course marzi would cram her personal woe is me trauma peter pan syndrome into defending herself from genuine criticism. like all good lolcows, she wants to act like she accepts criticism, but cannot.
it is simple - if people don't want to read what you're writing, they're not gonna read it. and if you don't want to change that, people won't read the book. there's no way to MAKE people want to read a book about someone jerking off to an octopus game character if they're already not interested. but she won't budge on that, as she says. also the assumption that YA would equal child sex when you can write a YA book with 18+ characters. 18-19 are still teenage years that YA audiences will relate and resonate with. But alas. It has to be personal, and by that, a retelling of her life how she views and wishes it to be, I guess.
and the highlight:
"i fucked any chance of selling my book to pwn the trolls" is the funniest thing i've read all day!
edit:
new website boys
marzi, please come talk to us, we would love to have you here.
she has a link at the bottom to a "full" version of the site, not mobile friendly, aaand
can you tell graphic design is her passion?
yeah, there's a lot to unpack. sorry this is such a long post!
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"I like sex"
Oh my goodness, there is a lot here. I hadn't posted here for a while because she just was not giving that good shit, but here it finally is. Apologies @Monkey Pink , for not picking this up when you pointed it out to me but I was out in the middle of nowhere with no way to view it. All the pics are here so let me just throw out my takes.
> It never occurred to me that to make it a career I had to view my book as a product instead of an art piece
Androgynous' lack of understanding of how books work despite having written a novel is way weaker than I thought it was. I mean, there always seemed to be some gaps in her logic but she's admitting here that it's on a whole other level. I don't like her line of logic that no one likes her book because it's art, you can make a tentacle porn art piece of the finest quality and the Louvre isn't going to take it off your hands. It doesn't matter if it's "art" or not, no one wants to read the book because the concept is off-putting, the author is unapproachable and it's complete nonsense which looks like downright plagiarism to anyone who doesn't know her.
> (And I mean that in a neutral way, not a bragging way)
The fact that she needs to clarify this is why she comes across like an entitled cunt who can't take criticism. Her whole post reeks of "I know my book is bad but I absolutely do not want to change anything about it". My only explanation as to why she keeps sending these posts to Reddit is because she enjoys getting shat on? Maybe she likes the attention that being completely wrong comes with. Let's be real, probably half the people who know about her shitty book know about it from this thread.
> I haven't read a recent book in over a decade so I have no idea what the current market is actually like
Holy shiiiiit. That speaks for itself. This probably explains why she keeps asking about book selling on Reddit, because she refuses to do her own research since she's that lazy. How she continues to act like she has knowledge on the book market after this I don't know.
> I'm writing a second book in the same vein as my first
I would have to assume this is LuckyTomo, right? This is the first time I've seen a mention of a second book, and that seems to be the next logical step. Can't say this surprises me too much.
> I've spent $60 on advertising pre-orders and haven't seen a single sale despite discounting the book to 99 cents
The Reddit comments do a pretty good job of breaking this part down, but
, and because someone here considered getting the pre-order that means that if that happened only one person would have wanted the book and that would have been one of those damn dirty trolls and that is hysterical to me.
Androgynous' lack of understanding of how books work despite having written a novel is way weaker than I thought it was. I mean, there always seemed to be some gaps in her logic but she's admitting here that it's on a whole other level. I don't like her line of logic that no one likes her book because it's art, you can make a tentacle porn art piece of the finest quality and the Louvre isn't going to take it off your hands. It doesn't matter if it's "art" or not, no one wants to read the book because the concept is off-putting, the author is unapproachable and it's complete nonsense which looks like downright plagiarism to anyone who doesn't know her.
> (And I mean that in a neutral way, not a bragging way)
The fact that she needs to clarify this is why she comes across like an entitled cunt who can't take criticism. Her whole post reeks of "I know my book is bad but I absolutely do not want to change anything about it". My only explanation as to why she keeps sending these posts to Reddit is because she enjoys getting shat on? Maybe she likes the attention that being completely wrong comes with. Let's be real, probably half the people who know about her shitty book know about it from this thread.
> I haven't read a recent book in over a decade so I have no idea what the current market is actually like
Holy shiiiiit. That speaks for itself. This probably explains why she keeps asking about book selling on Reddit, because she refuses to do her own research since she's that lazy. How she continues to act like she has knowledge on the book market after this I don't know.
> I'm writing a second book in the same vein as my first
I would have to assume this is LuckyTomo, right? This is the first time I've seen a mention of a second book, and that seems to be the next logical step. Can't say this surprises me too much.
> I've spent $60 on advertising pre-orders and haven't seen a single sale despite discounting the book to 99 cents
The Reddit comments do a pretty good job of breaking this part down, but
, and because someone here considered getting the pre-order that means that if that happened only one person would have wanted the book and that would have been one of those damn dirty trolls and that is hysterical to me.The comments really hit the nail on the head but I wanted to add to them as well considering I have more experience in the ways of Androgynous.
>I'd take another look at your author bio. I think it was written to be humorously self-deprecating, but I'm not sure it sends a compelling message
>It still reads: "Hi! I can't write an original story to save my life!" Why would anyone take a punt on you as an unknown author with a statement like that?
Don't get me wrong, self-deprecation is my style of humour but holy shit that is absolutely the wrong route to go when you are selling something. If you have no confidence in what you're selling, why should your buyer? The strange thing is that I don't think she actually IS that self-deprecating. Every time I've seen her do it, it's for attention. She has confidence in her writing but does it to look 'QuIrKy' or to make herself look less egotistical than she is.
>It also looks like you don't have a cover yet... it's tough to expect people to invest in you when it looks like you don't have all your ducks in a row yet
>Forget the "cover reveal". Just put the cover up. Unless you're J K Rowling level, no one is interested in your cover reveal
The second one is especially great here, no one gives a fuck about the cover considering that it's probably going to be terrible. She's a nobody author with no fanbase to speak of, she's doing the cover reveal thing because she doesn't have a cover and still wanted to get that pre-order money, not because she's trying to hype people up. She's just that stupid.
>Expecting sales on a first book with no cover and not released is just unrealistic.
>The story and writing style are all teen
She hasn't given any potential buyers anything to work with, no cover, just a terrible author bio, a terrible book description, and a laundry list of adult content warnings. This comment in particular really seemed to rub her the wrong way, probably because the idea that she wrote a book for teenagers who wouldn't get her "VERY ADULT" waifu struggles even though she acts like a child offends her.
>You may have imagined that your interests were more mainstream than they might be, that's all
This is a really important message that I need to make clear. I don't doubt Androgynous reads this thread, so from ex-waifuist to waifuist: YOU ARE NOT NORMAL. Imagining yourself in a committed relationship with a fictional character is not normal. That character being a DJ octopus is doubly not normal. Wanting to express that so badly that you write a rip-off splatoon novel with tentacle porn in it is even more not normal. Nothing about this is normal or mainstream on any level. It reminds me of the comedy central saga, she really thinks that what she does is normal and the only reason that it's mainstream is because people don't understand her. We understand, and we see it for what it is: mental illness tbh.
>No one is going to preorder a book from a no-name author and a placeholder cover with a release date 4 months from now.
This speaks for itself really, she really thought she was going to have a famous moment because her Facebook ad got 500 views huh
>"My stories are mostly just glorified self-insert fanfiction with the characters changed around to avoid catching legal eyes." I wouldn't touch a story with an author bio like this, even if it did have an amazing cover (and you don't even have one.)
I mean, she isn't wrong, but this is really a time to NOT say that. She has absolutely zero understanding of how she is supposed to present herself as an author which reminds me of this, which came earlier but I have to leave it here:
>You have to remember that your author brand is not 100% YOU.
Ignoring ALL of the other problems, this is the biggest shot in the foot Androgynous has done, because she's advertised this book as being written by her, instead of separating the persona from the person. Maybe she thought using a different name would be enough, but she has directly connected herself to the person who "can't write an original story", and she will never be able to escape it. She, as a person, is so fucked it will ruin any and all chances of her selling her book. Well done, Androgynous, whoever taught you that you should always be yourself was wrong.
>It still reads: "Hi! I can't write an original story to save my life!" Why would anyone take a punt on you as an unknown author with a statement like that?
Don't get me wrong, self-deprecation is my style of humour but holy shit that is absolutely the wrong route to go when you are selling something. If you have no confidence in what you're selling, why should your buyer? The strange thing is that I don't think she actually IS that self-deprecating. Every time I've seen her do it, it's for attention. She has confidence in her writing but does it to look 'QuIrKy' or to make herself look less egotistical than she is.
>It also looks like you don't have a cover yet... it's tough to expect people to invest in you when it looks like you don't have all your ducks in a row yet
>Forget the "cover reveal". Just put the cover up. Unless you're J K Rowling level, no one is interested in your cover reveal
The second one is especially great here, no one gives a fuck about the cover considering that it's probably going to be terrible. She's a nobody author with no fanbase to speak of, she's doing the cover reveal thing because she doesn't have a cover and still wanted to get that pre-order money, not because she's trying to hype people up. She's just that stupid.
>Expecting sales on a first book with no cover and not released is just unrealistic.
>The story and writing style are all teen
She hasn't given any potential buyers anything to work with, no cover, just a terrible author bio, a terrible book description, and a laundry list of adult content warnings. This comment in particular really seemed to rub her the wrong way, probably because the idea that she wrote a book for teenagers who wouldn't get her "VERY ADULT" waifu struggles even though she acts like a child offends her.
>You may have imagined that your interests were more mainstream than they might be, that's all
This is a really important message that I need to make clear. I don't doubt Androgynous reads this thread, so from ex-waifuist to waifuist: YOU ARE NOT NORMAL. Imagining yourself in a committed relationship with a fictional character is not normal. That character being a DJ octopus is doubly not normal. Wanting to express that so badly that you write a rip-off splatoon novel with tentacle porn in it is even more not normal. Nothing about this is normal or mainstream on any level. It reminds me of the comedy central saga, she really thinks that what she does is normal and the only reason that it's mainstream is because people don't understand her. We understand, and we see it for what it is: mental illness tbh.
>No one is going to preorder a book from a no-name author and a placeholder cover with a release date 4 months from now.
This speaks for itself really, she really thought she was going to have a famous moment because her Facebook ad got 500 views huh
>"My stories are mostly just glorified self-insert fanfiction with the characters changed around to avoid catching legal eyes." I wouldn't touch a story with an author bio like this, even if it did have an amazing cover (and you don't even have one.)
I mean, she isn't wrong, but this is really a time to NOT say that. She has absolutely zero understanding of how she is supposed to present herself as an author which reminds me of this, which came earlier but I have to leave it here:
>You have to remember that your author brand is not 100% YOU.
Ignoring ALL of the other problems, this is the biggest shot in the foot Androgynous has done, because she's advertised this book as being written by her, instead of separating the persona from the person. Maybe she thought using a different name would be enough, but she has directly connected herself to the person who "can't write an original story", and she will never be able to escape it. She, as a person, is so fucked it will ruin any and all chances of her selling her book. Well done, Androgynous, whoever taught you that you should always be yourself was wrong.
But my favourite part with her, as always, is her cracking until the criticism.
>(Gamelit). Any tips? I don't like it either.
That makes two of us. For the love of all things unholy I hate the word "gamelit" so much I'm glad she does too.
>A stuck-in-a-tiny-apartment 35 year old who is disenfranchised with life and anxious as hell is not a teen perspective in my eyes. What makes her sound like a teenager to you?
Because it sounds like a teenager's idea of adulthood. Or a 26 year old socially isolated fat fuck obsessed with a children's game idea of what adulthood is. The way this is written sounds like she's trying really had to cut any childlike connections from that statement but it's very clearly there.
>I'm not budging on that plot. I hate the cultural idea that you have to be a child to have a fun adventure and that your life must revolve around spouse and kids by age 26.
26? Liz is 35. Waitttt a minute, she's talking about herself! Liz is so self-inserty that she can start talking about herself and it looks like she's talking about the book. Seems like someone is salty about not having a normal life, it lines up with the old news that her parents view her as a disappointment.
>I had a horrible, traumatic experience shortly after turning 18
This doesn't have much relevance to her argument and it's a pity party, especially if it's what I think it is, when she had a breakdown after a psychology course made her believe she was going to get schizophrenia (I feel like someone is going to ask, it's in the OCD section of one of my Discord log dumps) . The commenter is understanding of her situation though, and it ends with my favourite thing from the whole post.
>Why not play into your syndrome, and write YA?
>Because I like sex and don't want to write child sex.
And that's just perfect.
That makes two of us. For the love of all things unholy I hate the word "gamelit" so much I'm glad she does too.
>A stuck-in-a-tiny-apartment 35 year old who is disenfranchised with life and anxious as hell is not a teen perspective in my eyes. What makes her sound like a teenager to you?
Because it sounds like a teenager's idea of adulthood. Or a 26 year old socially isolated fat fuck obsessed with a children's game idea of what adulthood is. The way this is written sounds like she's trying really had to cut any childlike connections from that statement but it's very clearly there.
>I'm not budging on that plot. I hate the cultural idea that you have to be a child to have a fun adventure and that your life must revolve around spouse and kids by age 26.
26? Liz is 35. Waitttt a minute, she's talking about herself! Liz is so self-inserty that she can start talking about herself and it looks like she's talking about the book. Seems like someone is salty about not having a normal life, it lines up with the old news that her parents view her as a disappointment.
>I had a horrible, traumatic experience shortly after turning 18
This doesn't have much relevance to her argument and it's a pity party, especially if it's what I think it is, when she had a breakdown after a psychology course made her believe she was going to get schizophrenia (I feel like someone is going to ask, it's in the OCD section of one of my Discord log dumps) . The commenter is understanding of her situation though, and it ends with my favourite thing from the whole post.
>Why not play into your syndrome, and write YA?
>Because I like sex and don't want to write child sex.
And that's just perfect.
Also, that website is terrible and she needs to actually just stop referencing the farms because none of the random redditors she harasses for advice are going to get it or care. That bit about herself on Amazon is even worse, she literally calls LuckyTomo a ripoff of Tamagotchi. It's like she WANTS no one to buy her books.
The trend of being self depricating in content you're trying to sell nowadays, whether it be your books, art, youtube, whatever, is so fucking annoying. Yeah, it might be relatable to young teenagers who think "yeah im human garbage xd" is the pinnacle of quirkiness but to most people, it's just annoying and looks like a pity party. This is probably why people think she's going for a YA audience, because self deprication is a very millenial/gen z trait in my opinion. But then the book is a sex-filled romp, so it doesn't make sense.
I don't understand why she doesn't just write as a passion project instead of trying to profit off of it. Then, she wouldn't have to skirt around copyright, and she would still be making the same amount of profit (0$) off of it.
I'd also like to add in that IDK if it's just me but her amazon page doesn't even HAVE her books on it. I can't find em. But, that might just be me, being a filthy britfag and what not.
I'm honored to have the title of "only person who cared enough to think about pre-ordering her book"
I don't understand why she doesn't just write as a passion project instead of trying to profit off of it. Then, she wouldn't have to skirt around copyright, and she would still be making the same amount of profit (0$) off of it.
I'd also like to add in that IDK if it's just me but her amazon page doesn't even HAVE her books on it. I can't find em. But, that might just be me, being a filthy britfag and what not.
I'm honored to have the title of "only person who cared enough to think about pre-ordering her book"
I found the page through my history and got the "this page does not exist" message. Seems like she deleted it, and nothing of importance was lost. Well, except the $60 in advertising fees RIP
What, she really thought the literal sociopaths of r/waifuism actually cared about anything other than themselves and their respective "S/O"s? I knew they wouldn't pre-order her book because it's not about them.I'm honored to have the title of "only person who cared enough to think about pre-ordering her book"
This last posts about her so called novel, are especially interesting to me because they remind me of a Victorian short horror story about a boy who hyperfixates on snow and slowly retreats into a catatonic state. That’s what going to happen to her if she doesn’t change her ways ASAP.
Well, it would seem that the novel saga is officially over, but in typical Androgynous fashion she chooses to blame the audience rather than herself for writing a shit book.
However, it would appear she's working on something new. Is this LuckyTomo?
>the stoty of Lix is a very very important project for me
not important enough for spellcheck.
Marzi is a self-admitted adult with Peter Pan syndrome, but is somehow surprised that the adults in Octopod read as being younger than they are. Legitimately, the writer behind these characters doesn’t even see themself as a proper adult. I don’t know what they were expecting, tbh.
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