Grand Mufti of Weaponised Autism
True & Honest Fan
Who is Royal Black?
"Royal Black" is the alias of a woman named Jodee Norene Kalra; don't let the ethnic last name fool you, she's married to a Punjabi man at the moment. In reality, she's a delusional white trash fatty who came under scrutiny in the Onision thread for being an overzealous orbiter. Born on 18 January 1986, Jodee is a 34-year-old woman (at the time of writing) who runs a failing makeup business. At some point in time, she started orbiting Onision; an infamous lolcow who needs no introduction to anyone who's been on the internet in the last ten years. Below is the Tumblr post that brought her into the spotlight before she joined the Farms to "defend" herself.
It's rather funny how she claims to know what lines never to cross but joining Onision's new forum and becoming a mod seem to betray a conflict of interest on her part. At some point in the last 48 hours, she became aware of her Twitter and Tumblr being discussed here and decided to voluntarily join KF with an avatar she associates with her branding specifically to gloat about protecting her tweets. You know, because everyone who ever entered the Farms to brag about how they're smarter than us autistic losers on the internet always comes out on top. Wanna know the punchline? She decided to join under the alias of @Greg’s Delusional GF as some sort of lame "take that" to us poking fun at her obsession with Grimes.
What did she do?
To get a good idea of what her general attitude is, one needs only to look at her very first post on the Farms along with her subsequent replies before getting banned from posting in the Onision thread. As a general rule of thumb, it's not a wise idea to join a forum known for ridiculing others on the internet if you, yourself are the topic of discussion. It's an even worse idea to join with the express intention of effectively saying "Haha, I protected my Twitter account! What are you guys gonna do now, huh?"
A recurring issue that Jodee has is her complete inability to bite her tongue. Within 48 hours, her continued desire to prove others wrong led to her revealing countless intimate details that we didn't know about prior. Within 24 hours of joining, she got doxed and proceeded to react in the typical fashion that all lolcows do when they get doxed: chimp the fuck out about it on her profile while revealing more shit that we weren't privy to beforehand.
Thanks to the diligent work of @zedkissed60, we learned of a mortifying secret: that she was convicted on two counts of child endangerment in the state of Indiana and lost custody of her two children. I think I'll let Zed's original post on her profile do all the talking:
Ouch, her ex-husband raped her two kids, and she lost custody of them shortly after that. That's a pretty intense thing to have aired out in public. Would you all like to know what her immediate knee-jerk reaction was to this revelation?
That's right: she flat-out admitted that she didn't believe her children when they told her about being molested by her ex-husband. To add insult to injury, she tries to defend herself by saying that she supposedly kept her children well-fed, well-clothed, and well-groomed while this abuse was happening. You know, because all of that is much more important than some arbitrary accusations of molestation, right?
A few hours later, the object of her demented lust was made aware of this deep, dark skeleton in her closet. I think I'll let Mr Jackson do the talking on his reaction to the subject:
Oh man, things aren't looking nice for Jodee, are they? He even made a video addressing the situation (archived in the Onision thread). Initially, Greg was willing to allow Jodee to voice her side of the story on the forums. Of course, things went even further south when Greg was made aware of the finer details on the situation at hand.
Ironic how the extensively documented paedophile/groomer/statutory rapist took issue great offence to Jodee's criminal negligence. Granted, Greg's not in any position to boast because he let his daughter fall out of a two-story window. Even so, it would seem that even he has enough common sense to realise that a mother who doesn't believe her children is fucking reprehensible. When made aware of these details, Greg uploaded another video formally excommunicating Jodee from the Cult of Onision (archived in the Onision thread).
To be fair, Greg certainly has a lot of reasons why he'd want to publicly announce that he's permanently banned Jodee from his Discord server and the forums beyond just doing what's morally right. Even so, such a blow to her ego surely wouldn't go unnoticed. She decided to come back to KF to 'set the record straight,' as it were. Of course this time, she decided to be more 'discrete' by not publicly chimping on her profile that's currently under the watchful eye of dozens of KF users. What did she do? Oh, nothing serious. Just DM a bunch of random KF users her 'receipts.' (special thanks to @bookiedookie for posting them in the Onision thread)
That's right; she doxed her ex-father-in-law who's an alleged child molester to prove she didn't marry a convicted child molester, she simply divorced one. She thought that everyone's at her for marrying a child predator, rather than the more glaring issue of her conviction of literal child endangerment by refusing to believe her children. That's only the beginning of the rabbit hole, as it gets much more in-depth. For now, let's focus on some other stuff.
Jodee the Trans-Racial LARPer
One of the most important delusions she clings to is this manufactured identity of being a half-Punjabi/half-Puerto Rican woman. As the opening picture would suggest though, she certainly bears no resemblance to anyone that can claim Indo-Aryan ancestry. In reality, Jodee is whiter than sheetrock. Don't just take my word for it; Zed did some digging to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that she's white trash.
Fun fact: Jodee claimed that the above photo of her family was from her father's side, even though she also claimed that her father was Puerto Rican. I don't know about you guys, but the Burns family as a whole looks like any typical working-class household in Middle America. Zed also found an obituary that explicitly states that Jerry Burns (her father) was a foster child. Combine that with the fact that her mother Shelley was born in Milwaukee, and that's a technical knock-out for any claims on Indo-Aryan/Hispanic ancestry. What shatters any hope of this delusion being genuine is how she claims her surname was never "Burns" at any point in time. A small claims court case from 2004 proves that she filed as the plaintiff under her real maiden name. She made this claim less than an hour before Zed dropped her felony case record. Myopia doesn't even begin to describe how short-sighted she is.
Her current husband, Anil Kalra, is a 1st generation Punjabi immigrant. Some of her past Facebook aliases are predicated upon her co-opting her husband's cultural identity for her own, as evidenced by usernames like "Jyoti Kalra" and "Harleen Kalra." She also claims to be a Sikh as well, despite not adhering to the core principles of Sikhism if her behaviour is any indicator. She vehemently denies being white and even resorts to using Google Translate to write nonsense in Hindi both on KF and Tumblr. She also claims to be a proud "IndiaRican" on her Twitter profile. The best part is that her Twitter handle is literally "RaniKaaliRYLBLK." Of course, what she doesn't understand is that "Rani Kaali" literally translates to "Black Queen," which is insanely bad optics for a white woman like her to have on such a woke platform like Twitter.
Jodee, the Sexual Deviant
Elaborating more on Jodee's past, she consistently denies that she ever married a convicted paedophile. @zedkissed60 did a fantastic job breaking down the circumstances, so I'll give yall the Cliffnotes version of this proof. She previously doxed her ex-father-in-law (Ronald Everroad I) assuming that it'll clear her name, but what she didn't factor in was that filtering Indiana court records by date of birth limits the scope of the search. When Zed dug through both men's history, two vastly different histories popped up.
To verify whether or not Zed had the wrong Ronald Everroad, he decided to dig through Ronald Everroad II's criminal history to precisely match up these details to remove any doubt from the situation at hand. The screenshot on the left is from a speeding ticket while the transfer highlighted above is on the right. Both records share the same address.
The screenshot below is what she took issue with because it only specifies "Ronald A. Everroad" with no DOB or consistent address. Admittedly, this is a problem with Indiana's court system as individual records aren't robust enough for our purposes. With that said, she has an established history of lying, which casts doubt on the legitimacy of her claims. Plus, the story doesn't end here! We have another record to go off! That's right kids; the plot thickens even further!
Jodee's ex-husband has an open molestation charge on his criminal record dating back to 2007. The proof is in the screenshot from Indiana's public court record database. That's strike three, Jodee "I didn't marry a convicted child predator, I simply divorced one" Burns.
Now we get to the part where we can throw salt into Jodee's wounds! The exact sentencing of Ronald Everroad (still unclear which one it is) molestation charges were 545 days of house arrest followed by one year of supervised probation. If it were indeed RonEv II who committed the crime, that would mean his house arrest ended around mid-July 2011, and supervised probation ended around mid-July 2012.
Knowing this and still operating under the assumption that it was RonEvII who committed the crime, she would've gotten married to him while he was on supervised probation for the molestation charges. While it's still unclear precisely which Ronald Everroad committed the original molestation crime, the fact that Ronald Everroad II still has an active molestation charge under his criminal record does prove that Jodee married a sex offender.
The molestation case which put him in prison and Jodee's two class-C felonies for child endangerment were both filed August 30, 2013. Thus, we have a consistent timeline that incontrovertibly proves beyond any reasonable doubt that she knowingly married a paedophile.
Jodee claimed that she never went to jail, but that lie got shot down too because she wasn't able to pay her original bond. Her counsel was appointed on 30 August 2013, and yet she had a bond reduction hearing on 26 September 2013. That meant that she spent a month rotting in jail because she was too broke to afford bail.
Oh, and if that wasn't funny enough for you, she still has $983 due in court fees. Keep in mind this is the woman who claims to be so well-connected with people like Scammer Payback.
While Jodee's quick to call her ex-husband a piece of shit now, this wasn't always the case. Look no further than her Pinterest tagline.
If you want more disturbing mental imagery, she also had an RRoP theme going on in her bedroom when she was married to the chomo. Don't believe me? Here's a BDSM blog where she openly admits to it.
@bookiedookie did some digging around on FetLife to see if she had an account. Spoilers: she does, and it's a swinger profile. What I want to draw attention to is their avatar on the website. Notice how the timestamp says "09/09/2010."
Whether or not he was convicted is irrelevant either way because we have hard proof that she was dating a child molester while also looking for BDSM fetish stuff in the process. Of course, that's not the worst this whole situation. Yes, it gets worse. I want to thank @kingkong't for bringing this to my attention because it slipped through the cracks in the Onision thread until now.
That's right, during Onision's last live stream on YouTube, Jodee was defending Greg's desire to have a three-way in the same bed as his kid because she admitted to doing the same thing with her niece in the same room. With this revelation, Royal Black officially crossed the line into complete sexual deviant territory. Considering how this woman's past is full of child sexual abuse, this only spells out horrifying implications for the other depraved shit she did in the presence of children. Make of it, what you will.
To recap, Jodee Norene Burns:
- married a child molester in 2007 who may or may not have been under house arrest when they were dating.
- is into BDSM stuff and was indulging that type of lifestyle with Ronald Everroad II
- referred to him as an amazing man on a public forum tied to her real-world identity
- did not believe her children when they told her their stepfather was violating them
- got convicted of literal child endangerment and lost custody of her children
- OPENLY ADMITTED TO HAVING SEX WHILE HER NIECE WAS IN THE SAME ROOM ON AN ONISION STREAM
- doxed her ex-father-in-law in a futile effort to get her ass out of hot water.
Jodee the DramaTuber/Aaron Carter Sperg
After doing some more digging, Zed managed to track down both of Jodee's YouTube channels. The first channel is the one where she claims ownership over her "Royal Black" alias and has a potpourri of stuff from when she was LARPing as Aaron Carter's private investigator. The second is an abandoned channel where she uses one of her former married names, "Jodee Gust." @bookiedookie and I have both taken the liberty of archiving the contents of these channels at the time of writing.
While I will concede that I'm not the most well-versed when it comes down to the "Carterverse," a simple search on YouTube returns some important stuff. She wasn't incredibly well-liked from what I can gather, considering how she also doxed quite a few people while she was pretending to be Aaron's PI. I couldn't find any writeups about this, but there's plenty of obscure DramaTube videos about the subject at hand. Credit to @Spedestrian providing the relevant links.
Jodee the Matthew Lillard Sperg
Surprisingly enough, Jodee's lust doesn't just apply to pseudo-celebrities who groom/diddle kids. As far as I can tell, her first obsession was actually with Matthew Lillard. @zedkissed60 was gracious enough to do some more digging on her past and came up with an alarming amount of Lillard sperging in the past emails she used.
This sperging can even be found on her Twitter page where she seems to try and rope Lillard into her lunacy at every turn, going so far as to correct him for posting a Black Power fist.
Of course, her smile and optimism were crushed at the end of the day. A rudimentary Twitter search explicitly shows Matthew Lillard not humouring her in the slightest (and probably for a good reason). Maybe that's why she took to orbiting Aaron Carter and eventually Greg.
Jodee the "She-EO"
One thing that Jodee prides herself on is being a proud, self-employed woman who sells her cosmetics which she painstakingly makes by hand. However, her ego masks a business mentality that prioritises the ease of obtaining material and minimising costs rather than putting out a quality product for potential customers to buy. Here, you can blatantly find Jodee bragging about buying DIY makeup kits from Amazon to sell for a profit (screenshot courtesy of @fvckm3).
For personal use, this wouldn't be a problem because everyone's free to make their stuff. However, it's highly recommended that you take no shortcuts when making your cosmetics because of the risks involved with buying premade kits. You're putting this shit directly on your skin; the last thing you want is to get a rash from cheap wholesale products with countless fillers, additives, and other byproducts. If you can't afford to make your stuff from wholesale cocoa butter, coconut oil, and so on, you probably shouldn't be making your cosmetics. @meff mouff took the liberty of calculating how much all of the stuff she tweeted about purchasing cost her, and this entire array of products cost her ~$120 (excluding tax, shipping, etc.)
So we've established that she's entirely liable to cut corners and brag about it. However, that in itself isn't something worth getting upset about. No, the kicker here is how she chooses to market these awful products that she creates (screenshots courtesy of @Pina Colda 88).
Now, call me Mr Contrarian here, but I'm 99% certain that products worthy of literal royalty wouldn't be made from cheap shit you can buy wholesale on websites like Amazon or Aliexpress. Otherwise, those specific storefronts would likely be backed up by official certification like a Royal Warrant. I'm not necessarily well-versed on makeup descriptors but calling your shit "lethal" or "deadly" while openly admitting to buying cheap shit on Amazon is unbelievably bad optics. Also, I doubt that this woman sells certified organic products if she can't even be fucked to organically grow her follower count on Instagram. My knowledge of consumer health laws is sadly limited. Still, I'm 90% certain that you'd need to have the actual certificate of authenticity on hand to prove that she sells organic shit if a customer wants to check the legitimacy of these claims. That's not the only product that she sells on her storefront that openly mentions death, by the way. She's also made a "black" shade of her shitty lip gloss that openly compares it to the literal Bubonic Plague. No, I'm not kidding.
That's right, folks! She's actively trying to romanticise the suffering and deaths of literal plague victims while actively using products of dubious quality to make cosmetics with unknown efficacy. Maybe if this were the mid-to-late 2000s when Goth/Emo subcultures were popular, this shit would be tolerable. However, even scene storefronts from that period had the common sense to not equate their products to literal death and disease. The icing on top to this whole situation is that her storefront is extremely low-effort despite making such grandiose claims of making products fit for royalty. She couldn't even be fucked to pay for a proper domain name!
Admittedly, I'm not sure if the lack of thumbnails is because I use Firefox over Brave. Even so, all she has to show for her "effort" is a bare-bones website that's ripped straight from a default template from Squarespace. Say what you will about Chris Chan, but at least his awful attempts at a business on platforms like Etsy still had a unique identity that properly fit his character. Her pricing scheme on these few products is also equally abysmal. If you're looking for inexpensive lip gloss, Aliexpress sells dozens of shades all at once for around $1-$5 depending on the storefront. If you're looking for quality handmade cosmetics, you could just go on Lush and pay $12-$20 a pop for stuff that won't make ludicrous claims of medieval plagues, death, and other such things. The premium would be worth getting shit that won't make your lips break out in hives.
The final nail in the coffin for her delusions of being a proud "She-EO" is that she claims to own an LLC despite there being no record of any filing whatsoever. Zed even dug through the appropriate channels to find something, only to turn up with nothing thus proving she's not even a registered business owner. A rudimentary Google search for "Royal Black Enterprises LLC" also returns a measly three results, all from her shitty storefronts.
Jodee the Failed Pornstar
Like most women on Twitter (especially now in the COVID age), Jodee has tried to capitalise on her nonexistent looks by creating both an Onlyfans page and a Patreon. Of course, what separates Jodee from other women on Twitter (including former Onision victims like Billie who've made an OnlyFans recently) is that she's fucking ugly as shit. Some people wouldn't mind the weight, but "BBW" literally stands for "big beautiful woman," and she's not beautiful even by the loosest interpretation of the word possible. She resorts to using filters and facial smoothing so heavily to mask what she looks like (as shown in the opening images of this post). Also, you don't know what "extortion" means if you thought Onision's Onlyfans page is a waste of money.
Imagine being the poor simp who fell for her heavily edited pictures and paid anywhere between $20-$175 only to be greeted with this (IRL photos of what Jodee looks like courtesy of @fvckm3):
Warning: Don't try to bite the bullet and pay for her shitty porn for the sake of posting it here either. We all know she's ugly as shit; we don't need permanent mental scarring.
Jodee on the Farms
Some other nonsense she's spouted in her short time here on the Farms:
- That she's a close personal friend of Pierogi from Scammer Payback on YouTube who'll use social engineering to dox us.
- Before that lie, she claimed to have a friend who's an accomplished cybercriminal who can take KF down. Rather sad that she was lying about that one because I'd love to see her and Vordrak work together for their own autistic goals, only to fail miserably in the process.
- That she has two friends from Philadelphia who are both a licensed attorney and a police sergeant that provided her legal counsel, this is even though such an arrangement would be a conflict of interest.
- That she contacted the FBI's cybercrime unit and that they're currently investigating the situation at hand. I guess she could say that consequences will never be the same.
- She was involved with some drama surrounding Aaron Carter, but I couldn't find anything too interesting about that save for replies to now-deleted Tweets.
Dox and Miscellaneous Links
2021 State Route 208
Montgomery, NY 12549
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jodi.kalra (presumably defunct; won't archive properly)
2nd Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/queenjaykalra (presumably defunct; won't archive properly)
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@royalblackofficial (archive)
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKzTamdWATmXSCwn-UK2DWA (archive)
LinkedIn #1 (Jodee Gust): https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodee-gust-2410702a
LinkedIn #2 (Reverend Jodee Gust; no, I'm not kidding): https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodee-everroad-8662b866
Twitter: http://tw.tinf.io/RoyallyYoursRB (archive)
Business Twitter: https://tw.tinf.io/TouchOfRoyaltyR (now defunct)
Instagram: https://ig.tinf.io/royal.black.official (presumably defunct, unless she changed its handle)
18+ Instagram: https://ig.tinf.io/royalblackonlyfans/ (archive)
Tripod storefront for old cleaning service: http://neatfreakscleaning.tripod.com/ (archive)
Yelp page: https://www.yelp.com/biz/neat-freaks-cleaning-bloomington (archive)
Giftly page: https://www.giftly.com/gift-card/neat-freaks-cleaning-bloomington (archive)
FishForums account (links to a now-defunct Tripod page; Archive/Wayback won't archive it properly): https://www.fishforums.net/members/jodeegust.40999/#about
Kiwi Farms profile: https://kiwifarms.net/members/gregs-delusional-gf.63150/