Kiwi Farms
There are many words to describe the man who is the focus of this thread: pedophile, man-child, delusional, angry, pathetic. Back in 2015, I was introduced to the bizarre world of Jonathon Sharkey and started this thread. However, I feel the original OP does not encompass the shear insane odyssey and have greatly edited it. For the sake of archival purposes, the original is here: http://archive.md/9ci6D
Here then the anti-epic of Jonathon Albert Sharkey, wrestler, filmmaker, husband (to women both real and in his own mind), pervert, psychopath, vampire.
The most interesting aspect of the Sharkey story is his fixation on vampires. Sharkey was quite involved with the online community, often using vampire forums to search for romance. Even today he feels a great afflation with the fictional bloodsuckers, sharing the interest with his few real friends. The most infamous instance was in 2010, when Sharkey abducted a teenaged girl who was a member of the vampire scene, after he proposed to her via Youtube. Police tracked him down on vampire forums and brought him into the open under the illusion that he would meet famous vampire Don Henrie. Sharkey and the teen claimed no sexual activity had occurred, avoiding what should’ve been harsher charges. This event was well covered by the press in Minnesota, the state in which the girl lived.
Guy meets girl. Guy falls for girl. Guy asks girl to marry him. Old story.
Except when the smitten guy is Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey, a 44-year-old self-described vampire from New Jersey, who has a colored history of controversial relationships with teenage girls, a laundry list of run-ins with the law in at least three states, and a bizarre plan to get elected Minnesota's next governor.
And when the object of his affection is 16-year-old Paige Brewer, a troubled kid who walked out on her mother, Jillian Moen, and their Mound home six months ago. Brewer met Sharkey in an online vampire forum in January. She, too, claimed to be a vamp.
An email relationship developed. Sharkey proposed marriage on February 11 via YouTube video. She accepted via MySpace. On Valentine's Day he flew in from New Jersey to pick her up and the pair went into hiding—with a cell phone, an internet connection, and an insatiable desire to wage war with their critics in the comments section of the City Pages website.
Meanwhile, friends, family, total strangers, and a Faribault police detective began using the same forum to urge Brewer to contact authorities.
"This is Detective Lisa Petricka with the Faribault Police Department and you know me from meeting with you a few months back," read one comment. "I have been assigned your case file for running away. I would like you to contact me so we can talk and I will help you with the situation you are in and handle this the right way."
Except when the smitten guy is Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey, a 44-year-old self-described vampire from New Jersey, who has a colored history of controversial relationships with teenage girls, a laundry list of run-ins with the law in at least three states, and a bizarre plan to get elected Minnesota's next governor.
And when the object of his affection is 16-year-old Paige Brewer, a troubled kid who walked out on her mother, Jillian Moen, and their Mound home six months ago. Brewer met Sharkey in an online vampire forum in January. She, too, claimed to be a vamp.
An email relationship developed. Sharkey proposed marriage on February 11 via YouTube video. She accepted via MySpace. On Valentine's Day he flew in from New Jersey to pick her up and the pair went into hiding—with a cell phone, an internet connection, and an insatiable desire to wage war with their critics in the comments section of the City Pages website.
Meanwhile, friends, family, total strangers, and a Faribault police detective began using the same forum to urge Brewer to contact authorities.
"This is Detective Lisa Petricka with the Faribault Police Department and you know me from meeting with you a few months back," read one comment. "I have been assigned your case file for running away. I would like you to contact me so we can talk and I will help you with the situation you are in and handle this the right way."
itemprop
Paige Brewer: "I bit him first. Let me live my life."
Brewer, writing under the pen name Paige Sharkey, attacked them all and insisted Sharkey had rescued her.
"Jonathon and I plan to get married as soon as I get emancipated from my mother," Paige wrote. " If she refuses to emancipate me, then it will be a court battle."
By Tuesday she was listed as an endangered runaway by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, and she was angry.
"Screw off," Brewer said in an interview, adding that she knew all about Sharkey's criminal record, and discounted it after getting to know him better. She said she was a vampire, too, and that Sharkey was treating her like his queen.
"I bit him first," she said. "Let me live my life."
Visitors to citypages.com questioned whether a 16-year-old girl—especially one claiming to be a vampire—was able to make a decision like that for herself.
"This is sick," wrote one. "She isn't an adult, not capable of making adult decisions, and Mr. Sharkey is a pedophile."
Sharkey further antagonized critics by boasting of what he was going to do to the 16-year-old.
"I am arriving in Minneapolis tomorrow. I would have stated to all women of Minnesota: Cover your necks with garlic. However, the only neck my fangs will be in is Paige's neck. Otherwise, she will make me a toothless vampyre!
," wrote Sharkey, who is the first vampire in history to use emoticons.
They were in hiding, Sharkey claimed, because he was protecting Brewer from her mother while he helped her begin the process of winning legal emancipation. To prove his point, he produced email correspondence with the Children and Family Services division of the Minnesota Department of Human Services, seeking advice on how to proceed. DHS later confirmed the correspondence.
And no, they weren't having sex, both of them said.
Sharkey has drawn jail time, probation, and controversy over the years for his relationships with women—and the legal system of numerous states, as we've recently reported. "Let's just say I prefer to sink my fangs into younger women," he told us. And his recent YouTube proposal has touched a nerve.
Something about the case wasn't sitting right with Faribault Police Chief Dan Collins. In the six months that Brewer had lived and gone to high school in his community, she had never filed a complaint against her mother.
"She needs to speak with us face to face," he said. "What's holding her up? Why the charades? This needs to end before it gets worse."
Sharkey said he'd spoken with lawyers and is trying to bring the whole episode to a peaceful conclusion, but wouldn't tell police where they were, even as they kept up long, colorful declarations of love for each other online.
On Thursday, the end was in sight. At about 9 a.m., Sharkey and Brewer stepped through the doors of the Hope Center in Faribault for a meeting that had been arranged with police detectives and social workers.
A female police detective wrestled Brewer away; plainclothes cops grabbed Sharkey by the arm, threatening him with arrest if he made trouble. It was the last time he saw or spoke with Brewer, and he was angry at what he plainly didn't expect to be such a show of force.
"We acted in good faith," he said. "They told me to either leave the state or get arrested."
By evening, he'd been served an order for protection from Jillian Moen. By Friday, he was headed back to New Jersey on a Greyhound bus. Brewer was later released into her mother's custody.
And as for Collins? He seems to have had his fill of Sharkey's bizarre underworld fantasies.
"I'm tired of vampires," he says.
Except when the smitten guy is Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey, a 44-year-old self-described vampire from New Jersey, who has a colored history of controversial relationships with teenage girls, a laundry list of run-ins with the law in at least three states, and a bizarre plan to get elected Minnesota's next governor.
And when the object of his affection is 16-year-old Paige Brewer, a troubled kid who walked out on her mother, Jillian Moen, and their Mound home six months ago. Brewer met Sharkey in an online vampire forum in January. She, too, claimed to be a vamp.
An email relationship developed. Sharkey proposed marriage on February 11 via YouTube video. She accepted via MySpace. On Valentine's Day he flew in from New Jersey to pick her up and the pair went into hiding—with a cell phone, an internet connection, and an insatiable desire to wage war with their critics in the comments section of the City Pages website.
Meanwhile, friends, family, total strangers, and a Faribault police detective began using the same forum to urge Brewer to contact authorities.
"This is Detective Lisa Petricka with the Faribault Police Department and you know me from meeting with you a few months back," read one comment. "I have been assigned your case file for running away. I would like you to contact me so we can talk and I will help you with the situation you are in and handle this the right way."
Except when the smitten guy is Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey, a 44-year-old self-described vampire from New Jersey, who has a colored history of controversial relationships with teenage girls, a laundry list of run-ins with the law in at least three states, and a bizarre plan to get elected Minnesota's next governor.
And when the object of his affection is 16-year-old Paige Brewer, a troubled kid who walked out on her mother, Jillian Moen, and their Mound home six months ago. Brewer met Sharkey in an online vampire forum in January. She, too, claimed to be a vamp.
An email relationship developed. Sharkey proposed marriage on February 11 via YouTube video. She accepted via MySpace. On Valentine's Day he flew in from New Jersey to pick her up and the pair went into hiding—with a cell phone, an internet connection, and an insatiable desire to wage war with their critics in the comments section of the City Pages website.
Meanwhile, friends, family, total strangers, and a Faribault police detective began using the same forum to urge Brewer to contact authorities.
"This is Detective Lisa Petricka with the Faribault Police Department and you know me from meeting with you a few months back," read one comment. "I have been assigned your case file for running away. I would like you to contact me so we can talk and I will help you with the situation you are in and handle this the right way."
itemprop
Paige Brewer: "I bit him first. Let me live my life."
Brewer, writing under the pen name Paige Sharkey, attacked them all and insisted Sharkey had rescued her.
"Jonathon and I plan to get married as soon as I get emancipated from my mother," Paige wrote. " If she refuses to emancipate me, then it will be a court battle."
By Tuesday she was listed as an endangered runaway by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, and she was angry.
"Screw off," Brewer said in an interview, adding that she knew all about Sharkey's criminal record, and discounted it after getting to know him better. She said she was a vampire, too, and that Sharkey was treating her like his queen.
"I bit him first," she said. "Let me live my life."
Visitors to citypages.com questioned whether a 16-year-old girl—especially one claiming to be a vampire—was able to make a decision like that for herself.
"This is sick," wrote one. "She isn't an adult, not capable of making adult decisions, and Mr. Sharkey is a pedophile."
Sharkey further antagonized critics by boasting of what he was going to do to the 16-year-old.
"I am arriving in Minneapolis tomorrow. I would have stated to all women of Minnesota: Cover your necks with garlic. However, the only neck my fangs will be in is Paige's neck. Otherwise, she will make me a toothless vampyre!
," wrote Sharkey, who is the first vampire in history to use emoticons.They were in hiding, Sharkey claimed, because he was protecting Brewer from her mother while he helped her begin the process of winning legal emancipation. To prove his point, he produced email correspondence with the Children and Family Services division of the Minnesota Department of Human Services, seeking advice on how to proceed. DHS later confirmed the correspondence.
And no, they weren't having sex, both of them said.
Sharkey has drawn jail time, probation, and controversy over the years for his relationships with women—and the legal system of numerous states, as we've recently reported. "Let's just say I prefer to sink my fangs into younger women," he told us. And his recent YouTube proposal has touched a nerve.
Something about the case wasn't sitting right with Faribault Police Chief Dan Collins. In the six months that Brewer had lived and gone to high school in his community, she had never filed a complaint against her mother.
"She needs to speak with us face to face," he said. "What's holding her up? Why the charades? This needs to end before it gets worse."
Sharkey said he'd spoken with lawyers and is trying to bring the whole episode to a peaceful conclusion, but wouldn't tell police where they were, even as they kept up long, colorful declarations of love for each other online.
On Thursday, the end was in sight. At about 9 a.m., Sharkey and Brewer stepped through the doors of the Hope Center in Faribault for a meeting that had been arranged with police detectives and social workers.
A female police detective wrestled Brewer away; plainclothes cops grabbed Sharkey by the arm, threatening him with arrest if he made trouble. It was the last time he saw or spoke with Brewer, and he was angry at what he plainly didn't expect to be such a show of force.
"We acted in good faith," he said. "They told me to either leave the state or get arrested."
By evening, he'd been served an order for protection from Jillian Moen. By Friday, he was headed back to New Jersey on a Greyhound bus. Brewer was later released into her mother's custody.
And as for Collins? He seems to have had his fill of Sharkey's bizarre underworld fantasies.
"I'm tired of vampires," he says.
Sharkey took his obsession with vampires so seriously that he even tried to get members of the community he didn’t like (mostly Twilight fans) registered as domestic terrorists. In a letter to then Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, Sharkey stated they were as dangerous as Islamic terrorists.
Another recurring characteristic of Sharkey is his interest in government, having run multiple times to be governor and even president. These dreams are crippled by extreme policy proposals that he has run on such complete elimination (not lowering) of age of consent, building a Russian military base on American soil, and fewer restrictions on capital punishment. In fact, Sharkey says that the President of the United States himself should murder all criminals, even drunk drivers, via impalement. Sharkey says that he would prefer a female running mate because women are “good with budgeting as they stay home all day.” (Keep it classy man). He also wants to erect a “Wall of Religious Beliefs” listing “everything from the Wiccan Rede to the Ten Commandments”. What’s the Establishment Clause again?
It is quite clear that Sharkey has little idea on how government works which is even more surprising considering that he claims to have worked for Jeb Bush’s election campaigns for Florida governor in 1998 and 2002. And there are hints of truth to these claims. Here he is with man himself at the 2002 Florida Republican Convention. Indeed, Sharkey claims that due to family connections he was acquainted with several notable Republicans in New Jersey and Florida during the 90s (he has obviously not kept in contact with them since).
Interestingly enough, Sharkey gave his support to Trump during the 2016 Republican Primaries. He had a falling out with the Bush family over their neoconservative politics, and even threaten to murder then President George W. Bush. This threat launched a brief Secret Service Investigation, who came to Sharkey’s house. According to Jonathon:
“They were telling me, when they were interrogating me, that their job was to protect Bush even after he’s out of office. I’m looking at them like, “Oh, you’re going to defy me when I become president?”
A dark image immerges of Sharkey’s relationship with the better sex. A blog post from 2011 had some illuminating comments about Sharkey’s history with women and children, painting a picture of a dangerous and deranged man. Per a user named Adam Lewis:
Sharkey’s troubles with women continued with a woman named Susan in 2001. They had a bitter relationship will lots of legal troubles, Jon even claiming she wrongly sent him to prison. Susan was a drug addict, which is where Jon’s desire to murder all drug users likely originates. He also credits her actions for being why he took up Satanism. So basically, his whole lifestyle and his homicidal delusions of justice could be seen as a petty attempt to get back at her, which is fucked beyond belief.
Jon as well stated that he has slept with his own half-sister. He doesn’t regret it and has no qualms giving his information out on a political campaign site.
Another hallmark in Jon’s awful behavior for women is taking them to court. In a 2012 case Sharkey sued a woman he was dating for having a miscarriage.
http://in.findacase.com/research/wfrmDocViewer.aspx/xq/fac.20120321_0000294.SIN.htm/qx
A different suit found online, from 2007, he sued a woman he was involved with named Spree Moneypenny after she attacked him with a toy lightsaber. Guess how old she was when they met.
https://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/USCOURTS-ohnd-1_07-cv-01089/pdf/USCOURTS-ohnd-1_07-cv-01089-0.pdf
In the list of lawsuits in the above document we find he has sued a woman named Susan Holtsclaw numerous times.
To quote the judge: “Mr. Sharkey has established a four year pattern of filing multiple vexatious and harassing lawsuits in federal courts under various names, including Rocky Flash, Rocky Hurricane, Darth Hurricane, Jonathon Sharkey, Jonathon “the Impaler” Sharkey, Kathleen Sharkey, and Lourdes Sharkey, against Spree’s predecessor, Susan Holtsclaw. He filed at least 28 such cases in the United States District Court for the Southern District of Indiana and 5 cases in the United States District Court for the Middle District of Florida”
Kathleen? Oh dear…
And if real women are too complicated for ol’ Jon then he can just imagine one. For many years Jon claimed he was dating a Russian woman named Rachel, whom didn’t exist. Sharkey created multiple social media for the woman using photos from a porn star. Sharkey kept these blogs updated often for years, with the fictional Rachel singing his praises and whiteknighting him:
“I hope my president kills all Mexicans. You are a parasite upon the world. Worse than muslims. We are a super power. You're country is full of hoes, drug dealers, drug addicts and abusive men. If my hubby would have become president of USA, he would have impaled all your countrymen, like his ancestor Vlad impaled invading Turks. Why do you say my hubby is transexual/ Because he's pretty? Pretty horny. Pretty strong. Pretty buff. Pretty sex to me. And besides me, he was a Russian girlfriend too.”
“My hubby will cut off your head, use it in a Satanic ritual. I will take your bones and do Voodoo on your family. My one USD is worth 10 peso. This means Americans are worth 10 times what a Mexican is. Russians are worth more than Americans. Proves I am far superior. My hubby sinks his fangs into my body. I have Jonathon as my hubby and Kasina (Russian) is my wife. I am great. I will do black magic on you. I will curse your soul and your family's souls. I am part of the evil empire
))”
“My hubby nor I would need a shotgun against you. He is real man. Guns are for cowards and weak people. My hubby take your shotgun and ramp it up your ass like you bf does. You like getting fucked in ass by guys. My hubby only fucks girls, not guys like you do. Russia is considered the evil empire. I am Russian and proud. I will unleash the wrath of the Goddess Hecate on you and your country. She will show you the punishment for fucking with one of her followers. In this case 2 of her followers.”
“My hubby will cut off your head, use it in a Satanic ritual. I will take your bones and do Voodoo on your family. My one USD is worth 10 peso. This means Americans are worth 10 times what a Mexican is. Russians are worth more than Americans. Proves I am far superior. My hubby sinks his fangs into my body. I have Jonathon as my hubby and Kasina (Russian) is my wife. I am great. I will do black magic on you. I will curse your soul and your family's souls. I am part of the evil empire
))”“My hubby nor I would need a shotgun against you. He is real man. Guns are for cowards and weak people. My hubby take your shotgun and ramp it up your ass like you bf does. You like getting fucked in ass by guys. My hubby only fucks girls, not guys like you do. Russia is considered the evil empire. I am Russian and proud. I will unleash the wrath of the Goddess Hecate on you and your country. She will show you the punishment for fucking with one of her followers. In this case 2 of her followers.”
Jon would use the Rachel persona to brownnose himself. He invented fake children for the two of them.
When Jon became a sugar daddy to a Slavic mail-order bride, “Rachel” flipped out.
Sharkey has a great affiliation for wrestling and racecar driving, the later which he does as an amateur. Sharkey clams that his father was disabled so racecar driving was the only sport they could participate in together. Sharkey was an amateur wrestling as well, but his mouth wrote checks his body couldn’t cash. He is currently retired from wrestling do to health issues sustained from inside the ring. Interestingly enough he did fight at one-point fight former WWWF World Heavyweight Champion Ivan Koloff, meaning that he had a manager who thought he could be moderately successful. Sharkey also claims to have trained Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, a lie if I ever saw one.
Also of note is Sharkey's really creepy desire to have twin daughters.
Add all this with what we know about his behavior around young girls and it does not paint a very happy or innocent picture.
Jon, being the media hungry slut he is, has also been the focus of several documentaries and interviews:
Music by Jon (spoilers, not very good):