[July 30, 2022] 'What's in DSP's Closet?' Marathon Event - Professional closet cleaner at work

  • We've gotten t.me/kiwifarms set up for downtime announcements since Twitter doesn't allow us to have one.

What will be the most interesting thing found in the closet

  • a pile of cash

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    96
  • Poll closed .

Comma

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Nov 8, 2018
I think it's wise to make a separate thread for this, because if it's true that DSP didn't curate and go through the contents of the closet (hit me with those Optimistic ratings), then there could be some interesting things that need to be archived properly, instead of getting buried under the piles of autism in the main thread.

I probably won't be watching this for the most part, so I won't be around to clip stuff (maaaaybe near the end/later part of the event), but I'll leave you with yesterday's message from DSP on how chill and relaxed this event will be.

No pressure, doods.

 

RougeRed

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Apr 12, 2021
He absolutely has already gone through it, and has laid down some framework for his bullshit. He talked about how there's a box in there of old financial documents (how would he know?) from 2014 that he won't be going through. I'm expecting that to be his "see guys? i wouldnt have left this in there if i checked first!" moment. I almost believe that he is too lazy to "curate" it, but he's said so many times that he hasn't that I'm inclined to think he did.
 

Plastic Love

Futanologist, PhD
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 28, 2020
He absolutely has already gone through it, and has laid down some framework for his bullshit. He talked about how there's a box in there of old financial documents (how would he know?) from 2014 that he won't be going through. I'm expecting that to be his "see guys? i wouldnt have left this in there if i checked first!" moment. I almost believe that he is too lazy to "curate" it, but he's said so many times that he hasn't that I'm inclined to think he did.
I believe he just used that as an example of something that, if he came upon it during the closet stream, wouldn't share it with the audience other than saying it's old documents and he is going to throw them out. I'm too lazy to look up the clip, and regardless I agree he has done SOME level of prep work for the stream.

I think he is too lazy to have pre-checked it 100% but he probably got rid of anything obviously 'bad' and has some ideas of things he wants to clown up for donations. I think most likely the stream will just be Phil talking about some old pair of pants or old video game case or other retarded stuff, but there is definitely a realistic chance we get something good out of it due to the pig's negligence.
 

Flavius Anthemius

Praetorian prefect of the East
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Aug 7, 2020
Didn't he basically say something along the lines of he's not actually going to position or point the camera directly at his closet, as he will instead be off screen sorting through things, going "WOW guys, look at what I just found!!!" showing them off on the camera like an entitled little brat, then putting them back and rinse and repeat.

Honestly it could be something funny if he pulls out things that are embarrassing or revealing in someway, but like I previously mentioned it's basically going to be on the fly curated content and he can pick and choose to pull out what he wants, but hey at least some of his dents can get a kick out of seeing all dat gamer shit in his office that you don't normally see sitting behind him on his streams (like with what @Full Race Replay said, I'm anticipating him to look for some new gimmick to fish out of there as well, like he did with the original vest on his retrospective).

Even though he's not going to have someone doing all the "behind the scenes" work for him (like DasBoSchit) I think his laziness will trump his paranoia, as this requires little to no leg work required from Phil's end and he can make it as long and as short as he likes depending on how many cucks decide to tip him on the day, especially if he knows what contributions will be prearranged.
 
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UncleFuckAss

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Apr 11, 2021
This is the most hairbrained boring idea he's ever had. But i will definitely be watching the clips just to see the disaster.

I expect it to go something like this.
"Look guys I found a lootcrate. Remember lootcrate? They used to pay me money to shill but then they died ACK ACK ACK"
"WOWWWWWW There's one of my old ridiculously expensive collectible statues that no one wanted to buy"
" *insert ridiculously long diatribe about some mundane object* " x10
 
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We Are The Witches

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 23, 2019
That's what you call lazy content, and to add to it, he already went through his closet in another stream.

Closets.jpg

I believe this should be the normal reaction of anyone outside the DSPhere that hears about this event:
 

Cyber Bowling

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 2, 2017
I 100% agree that he's curated everything beforehand. No doubt about it. However, and this might be overly optimistic, but I think in typical Phil fashion, he's still going to reveal something embarrassing/incriminating because his concept of what is/isn't good to show is so skewed. It won't be anything particularly groundbreaking, but probably something like an overly expensive item he never should have bought in the first place, or something he thinks is worth bragging about in the same vein as that sad mail tournament trophy he used to (or still does?) have up. Maybe items he claimed to get rid of before, like part of the DVD collection. Or something weird that he treats as normal, like that velcro stuff he uses to hang up his vests.
 

Super Dent Head

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jul 5, 2021
I 100% agree that he's curated everything beforehand. No doubt about it. However, and this might be overly optimistic, but I think in typical Phil fashion, he's still going to reveal something embarrassing/incriminating because his concept of what is/isn't good to show is so skewed. It won't be anything particularly groundbreaking, but probably something like an overly expensive item he never should have bought in the first place, or something he thinks is worth bragging about in the same vein as that sad mail tournament trophy he used to (or still does?) have up. Maybe items he claimed to get rid of before, like part of the DVD collection. Or something weird that he treats as normal, like that velcro stuff he uses to hang up his vests.
Hopefully his dildo collection. "Th..th..this is Leanna's dildo collection! Yeah, that stupid bitch whore didn't take them. I'll just leave them there".
 

The Wicked Mitch

Senate Minority Cuckold
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 19, 2020
I don't think we can lose on this stream, if he gets showered with tips retards lose out on money that will be gone by midnight and it will further solidify DSP as an absolute clown. If he barely gets any money we're going to get the saltiest of salt ever mined. If he gets just an "okay" amount of money and especially if it's not in the form of tips he's still going to produce salt because of the previous X number of slow streams he was hoping to make up for during this marathon YOU wanted!!