Kiwi Farms

Channel Awesome by @Sexy Times Hitler
Before joining CA, Kaylyn started producing videos under the Marzgurl name in mid-2004. She had used the name before, including the Angelfire/Matrix nightmare that was The Real High School Life (archive), where she documented the going-ons at her school, Smithson Valley High School. A failed attempt at finding a replacement "editor" for the site lead to her penchant for the dramatic to show in the most early-00s teen way possible:

marzGurl said:

11-05-2003

I doubt that anyone to whom this concerns will read this tonight... but I am so sorry. I'm sorry that I have become such a bitter human being, so angry at things so small. I'm sorry I yell and scream when there's nothing I can do about it anyway. I probably do this just to get attention, and I admit that. I get depressed when I think that "If I don't do this, no one will see me, and I'll fall back into the dark again, where no one notices I'm even alive." So I yell. And I scream. And I throw things. Throw a tantrum, is more like it. And it's childish of me. I hate myself more than anything for it. I think from now on I'll let myself fade. I think that people would rather hear nothing from me at all than to hear me screaming out of simple stress and lack of attention. I'm sorry to everyone I hurt tonight. Like I said, this probably won't get read anyway, but... well, if you want to talk to me, I'll be online for a while longer. AOL - martiangirl1986, MSN Messenger - martiangirl1986@hotmail.com.

Linkin Park's BREAKING THE HABIT
Memories consume
Like Opening The Wounds
I'm Picking Me Apart Again
You all Assume
I'm safe here in my room
(Unless I try to start again)
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm
Breaking the habit
Tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm
Breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm
Breaking the habit
I'm Breaking the habit
I'm Breaking the habit
Tonight

With a heavy heart,
MarzGurl

Click to expand...

The follow-up blog: The Real College Life remains mired in development hell.

While at San Antonio College, she became a newly minted weeb, which not only further proved the failures of higher education, but also lead to her teaming up with Shaun Chiaffa in order to make videos documenting the anime con scene, which are still available on her YouTube channel in all of their cruddy mid-00s glory:






Around early 2006, Chiaffia split with Kaylyn, leaving the latter to continue producing Marzgurl videos alone.

In 2008, Doug Walker, sowing the seeds for what would eventually become Channel Awesome, announced a contest to find the "Nostalgia Chick". Kaylyn submitted her entry on The Last Unicorn and subsequently making it into the Top Five.


The final three were narrowed to Kaylyn, Krissy "That Chick With the Goggles" Diggs, and Lindsay Ellis, who would eventually win the position. Kaylyn and Krissy were allowed to produce videos for the site under their own names, inadvertedly making this one of the most cancerous "Everyone's a winner!" decisions in internet history.

She produced a variety of shows for CA, such as the abandoned after three episodes What's That Anime?, her next main series Marzgurl Presents, the news/opinion-focused Anime News Editorial, Marzgurl Sings! (Poorly!) and a podcast centering on media in general entitled Beyond the Black Rims with co-host and brother Josh Saucedo, which started out as YouTube-exclusive before being hosted on CA in 2015, continuing to this day.

Kaylyn was a generally respected producer during this time, appearing in all of the odes to cinematic auto-fellatio known as the Anniversary Movies and frequently collaborating with other producers such as Lewis "Linkara" Lovhaug, Jonathan "ChaosD1" Burkhardt and most controversally, Justin "JewWario" Carmical.


Change The Channel by @Odie Esty
Marzgurl was one of the original creators of the change the channel doc along with Lupa, linkara, and Holly but it def appears like she was more involved then them. She takes up 7 pages of the doc while the others don't cross 5, save lupa who was involved in more drama and had screenshots in her section. She also wrote the forward for her doc. Despite that, nothing particularly damning comes up in her testimony. Most of it is based around mike michaud being shitty to her, which is definitely worth bringing up, but a lot of it is also about honest mistakes. at one point marzgurl brings up how she wasn't in one group shot of a movie, but then was in another and felt bad about not being in the first. her section is filled with things like this which just seem irrelevant.


Marzgurl mentions she had wanted to leave CA for a while but had an agent who scheduled her con appearances and said it wouldn't be a good move until she had at least 10k subs. 10k is a pittance in modern youtube and you can't reliably make minimum wage below 100k. Marzgurl says she adjusted this to instead leave on her tenth anniversary but a glance at her social blade makes it clear she didn't have much of a choice, she had just barely crossed 10k when the change the channel doc went live. as of now she sits at 17k but social blade shows she acquired 7 thousand of those subs from her video released about the doc in the first place. At one point in the doc she mentions doug didn't tell anyone he was ending the nostalgia critic until they read it in the script of To Boldly Flee and recounts how worried she was. Marzgurl was eating from doug's plate for years and was wholly unable to turn it into anything noteworthy of her own.


Marzgurl's video talking about Jewwario is her most popular by a long shot, with 162,000 views. the closest vid to it is basically a vine from 7 years ago and her nostalgia chick video from ten years ago, neither of which crossed 100k. Her patreon manages to make less than spoony who hasn't made a video in years, and has no goals or rewards. Like most of the CA crew she subsisted entirely on doug's fame and was never able to make anything of her own. Say what you will about Doug, the man is at least popular on his own merits. like most celebrities Marzgurl is self centered and fame hungry, but unlike most celebrities no one really gives a shit. except for us, which is maybe the worst part.


JewWario (Justin Carmical)

As a fellow TGWTG contributor, Kaylyn and Justin became friends and would even appear together on Channel Awesome collaborations:

When Justin died, Kaylyn felt she needed to honor him by finishing one of his pet projects. This would be a final farewell and tribute to her late friend.


Then the unexpected happened and it was revealed that Justin was a rapist and that Channel Awesome was covering up the allegations.

#KickVic
Most believe that JewWario broke MarzGurl and that this was her chance at a redemption arc. She would start with Vic Mignogna and help clean up the rest of the american anime voice acting community.

She created the # "KickVic":
https://twitter.com/MarzGurl/status/1085835389242302464 https://archive.fo/oDE8E


You can find most of her posts regarding #KickVic and Vic Mignogna in the Main WeebWars thread.

All of Kaylyn's spergery earned her a Demand for Preservation of Digital Stored Information (Basically a do not delete shit order) from Vic Mignogna's legal team at BHBH:



All this means is that she is a possible future target for a lawsuit or deposition.


Money Issues
Kaylyn is pretty well known as a shameless E-beggar, from oil changes to imaginary lawsuits MarzGurl sets a new standard in E-Begging. Her masterpiece was crowdfunding her wedding:
https://marzgurl.tumblr.com/post/75063876870/click-here-to-support-josh-and-kaylyns-wedding (https://archive.fo/zpPap)


Just as the KickVic stuff was starting to ramp up, Kaylyn's kitty (Siren) got sick. Tried as hard as she could, she couldn't get enough funding:
https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-for-siren-the-kitty (https://archive.fo/KmfxG)

Siren died soon after. But don't worry, her spirit still lives on... on Twitter:



MarzGurl vs Yellow Flash

Kaylyn, on a Facebook Private group chat, asked for her "closest friends" to DOXXXXXX YellowFlash was. One of the funniest parts is that she claims to have gone to Police and FBI over people making fun of her ON THE INTERNET and even wants to go to congress over it.


Another funny part is that she mistook YF's twitter location of "616", the Marvel Comics main universe, as an area code. She plans to sue for defamation but can't be arsed to compile the "evidence" herself and instead asks for her private group to do it.


Her free consultation lawyer said he would contact YouTube and Twitter to deplatform YF and recommended she counter his "miss-information" with her information:


There it is, there's the Kaylyn we know. "Money is always an issue" for good 'ol Marzgurl:


Some people were skeptic about the authenticity of the leak, we can thank Marzgurl for confirming it validity;


She later started a GoFundMe for "Legal Fees". She needed $1.5K to retain a lawyer to begin the process of a defamation suit:
https://www.gofundme.com/f/wff68g-help-with-legal-fees (https://archive.fo/YwiPp)

TFW your 'Sue a Sperg' GFM gets overfunded but your 'Save my Kitty' GFM didn't even get 50% of it's goal:



Kaylyn Dalene Saucedo
DOB: January 27, 1986