Skitzocow Kenda Newton/ Kenda Lasers -


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Here's Kenda's videos from last night:

I should probably explain, she quit smoking in November and is replacing her nicotine addiction with movies which is why she's watching so many right now.

‘Kcheaters 40’ - Slide show
‘Kcheaters 39’ - She finished all the reading she was meant to do and says the film she watched was really funny (Meet the Robinsons). She took the garbage out and got K2 a gift card and bought some beer. She’s probably going to do some of her puzzle and try and watch Risky Business.
‘Kcheaters 36’ - She watched all of Twilight. Talking about what she’s read today. She did her make up so she looks like Calypso the voodoo priestess from Pirates of the Caribbean. It wasn’t easy. She got KFC with Grams and has a 14mg nicotine patch now. She bought K2 a gift card and says it feels great to spend money on K2. Trying to stop going out at night to buy beers and wants to give that money to K2 too.
‘Kcheaters 37’- Talking about a song she’s been obsessed with. It’s either A thousand years, Christina Perri or Pretty Little Psycho, Nightcore.
‘Kcheaters 38’- Going to watch Meet the Robinsons. Grams said it was wicked funny.


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True & Honest Fan
Here's Kenda's videos from today and yesterday:

‘Kcheaters 52’ - Yelling at her cat for ripping the net curtains.
‘Kcheaters 51’ - a video for Lillian (Jamie's partner's daughter I think). She’s talking about how she’s obsessed with doilies. She uses them in magic because they’re good for collecting energy. Can’t just watch an interview without fully thinking through. She mentions the movie Big. She doesn’t use umbrella’s because it’s rude to the rain. Parasol’s are different. They are used to give privacy so couples could make out so the scene in Pirates of the Caribbean with the pirates dressed up as women with parasols makes sense.
‘Kcheaters 49’ - Talking about K2. She’s very perceptive and is good with humans, she helps Kenda with social situations. Jamie used to practice driving with Kenda when she had to drive NASA people to the airport. K2 needs to be with Jamie right now to help her navigate through her awkward teens and she also needs to be there for her little brothers. Says K2 won strip chess and she knows where K2 is in the reading she sent her.
‘Kcheaters 50’ - She explains she’s downloading information to herself through what she’s reading and watching.
‘Kcheaters 48’ - Says when Randy (ex) knew he was going to be busy he used to send his friends over to her to keep her company. It’s very special to have someone like that who doesn’t get jealous and looks out for their partner.
‘Kcheaters 47’ - Talking about INFJ personality tests. She was reading a presentation on it. Says at NASA you had to have a guardian, some people called them guides she called them boyfriends. She talks about having Randy or his friends looking out for her when they went to raves. She’s never returned or exchanged an item in a store. She tried to do it before but ended up burying it in the backyard and re-bought the item. She doesn’t like being around lots of people or people asking her questions. She is really offended by people asking her name. It’s okay to tell someone what you’re going to call them but not ask their name. The end of quarantine isn’t going to affect her much. She feels like killing someone if they even look at her.
‘Kcheaters 46’ - Talking about a dream she had about staying in a hotel that served special cinnamon swirl ice cream and it made her think she should wake up and have some cinnamon toast crunch. She’s eating cinnamon toast crunch and says it’s delicious, she’ll stay here again.
‘Kcheaters 45’ - Hairdressers don’t rent chairs, they have one in their basements and their husbands are home all day and it’s only for blood relatives.
‘Kcheaters 44’ - Talking about the movie she’s watching. What kind of man goes to a hairdresser and gets his hair cut? Shout out to Jamie for proposing his 12 year old buzz cut his hair. If you’re going to go to a whore go to a whore, call it what it is.
‘Kcheaters 43’ - She was looking at photos of K2 and talks about her dressing herself when she was a kid and picking out mis matched socks. Now she’s living with her dad and still wearing mis matched socks.

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‘Kcheaters 42’ - If a song comes on the radio you don’t like, change the station and never listen to that station again. Grams said if the movie is making her want to smoke she should turn it off. Talks about what she’s reading. Talking about her nicotine patches. Changes patches, going to finish her reading and watch the rest of the movie. Thanks her cat for showing up to support her.
‘Kcheaters 41’ - She’s watching Risky Business and she thinks it’s a good movie but they smoke a lot in it. She rang Grams and asked her to bring her a cigarette. Grams didn’t bring her a cigarette but she ran some errands for Grams. She overheard Grams talking to Kurt (Neighbour) outside about running errands for people so she yelled out at her that she missed some trash. Grams flipped her the finger and drove off.


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True & Honest Fan
Here's Kenda's latest videos:
‘Kendar of Hanging Gardens Web Sensor Strands Cents & Syntaxability’ - Talking to K2. She’s impressed with how technically savvy she is. Talking about a chair she had as a child and used for K2 when she was a baby. Grams told her she needed to get rid of it. Talking about all the stuff she needs to get rid of which she accumulated over her life. K2 wanted her to donate all the stuff she was keeping for K2’s kids but now she appreciates that Kenda has saved these things for her. Talks about things she got rid of, the high chair was the hardest thing for her to get rid of. Talks about Grams keeping the blue placemat she used when K2 was a baby learning how to feed herself in her car and how Grams taught K2 to read and tie her shoelaces because Kenda wasn’t able to.
‘Kcheaters 60’ - Slide show
‘Kcheaters 59’ - Slide Show
‘Kcheaters 57’ - Says she’s been very good all evening and hasn’t left the house or talked to anyone and doesn’t even have any friends so she doesn’t know why (Tyrone?) is so jealous.
‘Kcheaters 55’ - Slide show
‘Kcheaters 54’ - Talking about what she’s reading. Says she was overly ambitious of what she would be able to read today. The chapters in the book she’s reading are really long. She’s been watching Murder She Wrote and did the dishes.
‘Kcheaters 53’ - She read the NASA stuff she had to read and got rid of it. She’s trying to go through more of her papers to get rid of more stuff. Shows the pages she has to read today and she’s going to send them to K2. She included $5 for K2 and is going to watch an episode of Murder She Wrote. Grams never gave her muscle relaxers so she could sleep and she’s drinking rum instead of beer today because it has less calories than beer.

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YASSSS! Thank you for making a Kenda thread, I love her and her ramblings, she is so endearing. I still have the video saved where she flashes her titty while very manic and talking about milk and SIDS. She goes from perplexed to intense so fast.

ke route 38


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YASSSS! Thank you for making a Kenda thread, I love her and her ramblings, she is so endearing. I still have the video saved where she flashes her titty while very manic and talking about milk and SIDS. She goes from perplexed to intense so fast.

ke route 38
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That video was truly bizarre. Good time to bring up that she likes to talk about her boobs/ get them out e.g.:

‘team billabong 10’ - Shoutout to her boobs. Usually she tells guys not to waste time with her boobs because they are small but they always say she has great nipples. Says it’s weird when a guy with a small penis says you’re really tight. Virtual penis.
‘ke route 168’- Wasn’t planning on watching a movie tonight because Grams wouldn’t give her beer money but she got money at the Gas station because people are leaving extra quarters there all day. Flashes her boobs multiple times. Asks her boobs do they want to watch gravity.
‘Happy day 4’ - Furthermore Grams is a something. Keira didn’t believe she had a glass of alcohol next to her bed for her to sip all day and knocked it over 3 days in a row. Keira had her locked up twice and stole her tax money. Kierra pays her bills now so she trusts her even though she had her locked up twice. Shows her boobs. (Not talking about K2 , different Kiera)


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Kenda started a new video series:

‘Desperate & Lonely inyour County’ - Singing a song with the wrong words. Talking about guns and magic. She bought a heloc at Lowes and has to pay it forward because the other 3 she had were shoplifted by Brandon. She’s sick of reading, watching tv and doing puzzles, needs someone to come over. She gave a magnet back to Jamie. She’s been listening to her neighbours and is glad she’s living on her own and doesn’t have a roommate to get pissed off at. And this has been another episode of Suddenly Susan.
‘Desperate & Lonely 7’ - She’s talking about someone blowing up her phone with messages and he only ever went down on her once and she’s not into him.
‘Desperate & Lonely inyour County’ - She’s laughing because she got 42 views on her videos today. Says she doesn’t even know 42 people but now she knows 43 losers.
‘Desperate & Lonely inyour County 5’ - Why is George Stephinopolous (I can't spell) doing powerball commercials. Ylang ylang is a fun thing to say. Something about Voldemort returning and rounding up all the death eaters. She’s going to yell out ylang ylang the next time she has sex with a guy and the sex sucks.
‘Desperate & Lonely inyour County 3’ - Asking someone over to her house. Asks questions like she’s having a conversation with someone. She’s just looking for someone to hook up with for a couple of hours and not get involved. Continues the conversation with herself asking about stealing cars, says she can do that in her own time. Asks about bail money. Asks for casual sex. Talks about her exes. She moved twice after those exes but she likes New York. She can’t move again until she’s 57 because she’s a vampire. Back to having a conversation with herself. The only reason she’s feeling lonely now is she just wants someone to put her to bed. She’s just a poor scientist on the run trying to go around this county unnoticed, smoke some too but doesn’t really trust any of you.
‘Desperate & Lonely inyour County 4’- And remember the house always takes 50 so invite her to your house or pay up for making her walk to the door. That’s what she learned from Risky Business. Movie club summary over.
‘Desperate & Lonely inyour County 2’ - Does a dating video. It’s worth watching.
‘Desperate & Lonely inyour County 1’ - Laughing because she got 2 thumbs down and it’s depressing. She thinks it’s really funny.


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True & Honest Fan
Here's Kenda's videos from today, another new video series:
‘get iit, got it, gonner!! Ksleazzy’ - Filming something and then says did you get it.
‘Loudon Bells && Rose Chocs’ - Says I’m out Loudon style
‘Louden Charge Cards 8’ - Talking to Jesse about Lillian, K2 and Kaya going to stay with them. The girls are excited for the trip.
‘Louden Charge errs 3333’ - Ylang Ylang, I saw your ylang ylang, I have your ylang ylang
‘Loudon Chantilly 7’ - Slide show
‘Louden Chandelier Swinging’ - Slide show
‘Loudon Tai Food w Bamboo Shouts’- It was 100 hz. Don’t do tones in her ears and ask her to name the frequency. Shae has other things to do tonight.
‘Louden Proud 4’ - Has a bow in the front of her hair. Ode to Eyeore: I lost my tail. I lost my motherfucking tail. Talks about recycling her old clothes. Says (K2?) could learn to recycle clothes fabric and sew her own clothes like a good little Polish girl and then she’d have lots of cool patterns.
‘say out LOUDen 1’- Trying on shoes to give to the kids. The ones she’s wearing have toe cleavage and Grams hates toe cleavage so she wont let her wear them .Tyrone makes her wear these shoes. Says Kristen (Jamie's partner) can wear them anywhere except in derelict places. Delinquent? She’s not supposed to go to no good places.*

* Kenda had to go to court in December because she smashed the window on one of her neighbours cars. She got away with not getting a fine but she's not allowed to hang around with disreputable people or go to disreputable places.

‘ke route 386’ - Laughing about a conversation she had with guys in the neighbourhood. She got a $125 fine for disorderly conduct. She can’t hang out with disorderly people or in disorderly places. They said it was a lot of beer money she just wasted and one asked if Grams was single. Kenda said she’s been with her boyfriend for 20 years so he asked if Kenda was married and the rest of the guy said no stay single.
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‘ke route 383’ - Just out of court and she got a fine for disorderly conduct. Reads out the conditions. She’s not allowed to go to disreputable places or consort with disreputable people. Going out to lunch at Mama T’s now.
‘ke route 390’ - Went to red lobster and got a dozen and a half cheese biscuits. Went to court yesterday and plead guilty to a misdemeanour of disorderly conduct and for one year she is on conditional discharge as long as she refrains from going to disreputable places or consorting with disreputable people and she is not allowed to leave the state. She didn’t have a fine but had to pay court fees. Going to apply for the coof rent assistance program next week. Going to put some of that money aside so they can put in a separate entrance and bathroom for the apartment so she can rent it or K2 can stay there when she’s in college. Talks about doing a money project with K2 making spread sheets etc.


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I wonder if her kids ever visit her but I'd imagine it must be soul crashing seeing your mentally deranged mother.
I don't think so. The pictures she has are all baby pictures and I think she would post more up to date ones if she had any. She talks to them on the phone a lot and sends them care packages regularly. It's a bit tragic because she really seems to love her kids and talks about them all the time but is clearly in no state to be able to look after them.

Anyway, here's her videos from this morning. She's talking about magic in some of them so they are hard to follow what she's talking about in them.

'Kcups 2' - She wants the power of Elmo to protect her.
‘dj paws 2’ - What’s with all the questions? She was talking to her neighbour Jimmy about the latch on his door. Forgets what she was trying to say and sings Kenda-coaster of love. Goes back to her story. He was explaining how the latch worked and that he’s going to cash his cheque. He wouldn't give her straight answers to her questions about the cheque and said something rude to her when he walked away but she doesn’t remember what it was.
‘silver bells 1&’ - She’s done some magic with an Aesop’s Fables book she had I think. Talking about her puzzle. She’s not going to update it for magical reasons. It cost 43 white guys lives for 1 black guy to be President. She explains this with math.
‘Kcups 1’ - Banana seats on bicycles look like jockstrap penis pockets. Her brother used to steal kids shotguns, saw them off and keep them in his penis pocket with his flute. Did you ever put a jockstrap over your nose and pretend it was a gas mask?
‘silver bells &2’ (15/01/21) - Elves have been paid off by the king of beers Budweiser. She’s no longer a card carrying member of Budweiser. Her, Grams and Laura are off the hook. If you’ve ever taken the ring pull off a can they are not involved. If you didn’t take the ring pull off properly you had to drink the whole case of beer.
‘silver bells & Case Day’ - Greetings earthlings we are in the middle of Native American white stick creek training. Don’t look at my lair unless you want us to capture your flag. Starts talking about Dorian Grey.


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Here's Kenda's videos from yesterday, the first two were really hard to follow:

‘Kcups 4’ - Talking about a spell for cardboard tasting frozen pizza? Can you recycle pizza boxes? Depends on how much grease. Crease, your eyeshadow is acceptable. Talking about the pages she’s sending to the kids. If you ever threw a baby or a body or any other illegal dumping, you’re off the hook. She traded her magical shredder for a bookshelf. You’re allowed to stalk someone and say mean things to them if they deserve it. Caster(Jamie’s son) passed the magical alphabet puzzle train test. Jamies speaks parseltongue. Mentioning a lot of objects and colours to do with magic. Talking about beating a girl up. I don’t know what she’s talking about for the rest of this.
‘Kcups 3’ - Talking to Jamie about things he’s in charge of. Elmo is good to go. You don’t know what he looks like because he transformed. She’s done magic on the toys. She was talking to Caster about dinosaurs. Talking about the Land Before Time. Everyone go eat a star fruit and you’ll be good to go. Stay away from plantains because black women buy them in massive quantities at about 2 am. You could get mercury poisoning from eating small dick. Talking about wire hangers, dry cleaners and locksmiths. They only have one self scanner at CVS. She shops at home depot all the time. Talking about the farmers almanac. She did magic on the scanners and the farmers almanac and the mirrors at home depot. I don’t know what she’ talking about for the rest of this.
‘Kcups 4.5’ - Tells K2 to use the ear wax kit she sent her. Talking about ear wax removal with lances. Talking about being attacked by card catalogues. They shouldn’t put bluetooth and wifi in phones. It’s impossible to get a safe phone for a girl. Self defence agency etching experiments are done. Talking about fixing stuff and tools. The grandfather clock is deactivated but the mirror is not.
‘double double 2’- Talking about the stuff she’s reading. She tore up one page and paused the rest of the reading. Word to the wise, sugar catches more flies but when and angel lands it’s like a fly throwing up every time it lands. She’s going to do some home repairs while she shakes her maracas and watches you jiggle your butt.
‘double double 1’ - She finally finished editing all the family photos and grams has them now.
‘Kcups 5’- Lenny could hear the grandfather clock ticking even though it was stuck at one time so it’s good to go now. Talking to K2 and Lilly about magic. She is going to send them a giraffe puzzle piece. She already sent the alligator puzzle piece. She’s keeping the rhino piece for a little bit longer. She’s going to send Jamie a box cutter. Tells Mickey not to threaten her because she doesn’t need his last name anymore. And thus dismissed the lesson, class has ended, unless you never had any to begin with.


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Here's Kenda's latest videos:
‘idea$ && opinions 2’ - Says Dude stop bragging to your friends that while I was sucking you off you were bitch slapping me with your cock. That’s not funny.
‘ideas && opinion$ 1’ - When you mess with the best you end up like the rest. We’re the best they’re the rest.

I've been looking through Kendas other channels to see if she talks about anything else other than Movies and K2.

I found some videos on the Kenda Newton channel where shes talking to and recording 3 boys. I think there just kids from the neighbourhood.

I'm a proper newfag and wasn't sure if its ok to post videos with kids in who aren't being abused or taken advantage off by the cow.
If its cool I'll archive and link the videos. If not I'll just post summarys.

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