Kiwi Farms

Starting back at 2014, we find additional confirmation that Kevin was indeed a brony and into Rarity. Kevin claims that My Little Pony porn, or "clopclop" as he calls it, was "off limits" for him, but he was into other porn such as Homestuck. He also knew what "Futashy" was, so his claims to not be into "clopclop" sound a little hollow.

Kevin is also a gamer and has mentioned playing many games such as MMOs, Portal 2, and Starbound, where he complained that it only had two genders. He also played Second Life as a "ponygirl."

We learn he went to an "informed consent" clinic so he could troon out, and said if that wasn't an option he would have had to do "DIY" trooning, because his health insurance was "gatekeepering" and "really pissed [him] off" by wanting him to have spent a year living as a woman before letting him fuck himself up with HRT. Kevin also mentioned voice training (and it appears he was hanging out with other bronies online at this time based on what he replied to) and later asked for resources about retraining his "male voice." He also thought he might be "genderqueer" but said he feels "most comfortable as female" when he's "feeling vulnerable." To no surprise, he is an autogynephile. and, of course, has talked about his "girlcock."

"wasn't just a fetish"


We also find him talking more about BDSM, including expressing interests in breathplay, scalpelplay, and bloodplay. Kevin believes chastity belts are "incredibly sexy." He somehow was allergic to the metal on the collar he bought, which he wore to work. He has admitted to doing nothing at work due to fantasizing about being "dommed and cuddles." Kevin also got off to fantasizing about himself being murdered. Kevin is also into being "beaten" with a "switch, rod, and knife" and claimed he was still bruised for weeks after. He is definitely into blood and his friends talked about making blood sausage out of human blood. Unsurprisingly, at least one of his "partners" was another mentally ill man. He is also into "forced body mods" and wanted a magnet implanted in his finger and his tongue split. His "first orgasm" was said to have been while imagining "medeival[sic] torture devices" being used on himself.


Disturbingly, Kevin reveals he is into diapers and talks about wearing them to bed and has even used them during his BDSM sessions. In February 2014. Kevin was excited about finding a new "online dom" who would put him in a chastity belt and diapers, make him shove things up his ass, and explore his "little" side. He's also described sitting in bed in a "leaking" diaper for an hour. He would get off to diaper fetish porn. He is also into pacifiers and uses them with diapers.



As further proof of what a sick fuck autogynephile Kevin is and what kinds of things he is in to, he repeatedly said he had the body of a "loli futa" and said he stares at himself and would fuck a clone of himself if he could. He once linked someone to a fetish board on a shanachan, and discussed looking for Touhou bondage porn on booru sites.

Unsurprisingly, Kevin has mommy issues, and even destroyed birthday money because she gifted it to him. He has claimed the mother was a "tiger mom" and was abusive and controlling to him, his brother, and his sister.

Kevin was going to therapy at this time and, more evidence he is a channer, wondered if the therapist would get an involuntary psychiatric hold on him if he bought a helium tank, which was a suicide method commonly seen around chans. He was apparently not on psych meds up to this point, as he mentions being terrified after the therapist gave him a referral for a psychiatrist so he could be put on antidepressants. Kevin was scared that he might be "more fucked up for months" due to the meds and was upset because he would be abandoning "existence without medication." He was eventually put on Lexapro and later got on lorezapam. When he was 16 he was prescribed antidepressants "for something unrelated" and he freaked out about the potential for increased suicidal thoughts, and his dad told him not to take them. Kevin seems to have had a recurring fear and acceptance that he would be locked in the loony bin, and at least one of his online friends has been sent to the funny farm before (the same friend is also into diapers...). Kevin has been plagued with suicidal ideations since he was 15/16 and surely did himself no good by surrounding himself with other suicidal people all the time online. He self-diagnosed himself with PTSD. He wanted his balls chopped off and was scared the therapist would say no because he's clearly not well in the head. In December 2014 he wanted to change doctor and was scared they would put him in the loony bin in response.


Kevin was trying to get an autism diagnosis and asked for help to create a list of reasons why he thinks he is autistic. (It looks like he gave up after deciding it was too much effort to doctor shop until he found someone to believe/enable him)



Kevin paid to get his medical records and was triggered when multiple specialists referred to him as a "he." He apparently was doctor shopping in 2011 to try to get HRT, the first said he was "somewhat immature" and had an "atypical history of GID" and had told him he needed a year of lived experience before HRT, the other concurred and said that Kevin needed approval from a mental health professional and more "real-life experiences as a member of the opposite sex" before they'd sign off on HRT. Kevin had a cow crossover with Luke Lockhart and Kevin said the troon subreddits are what told him about the "informed consent" clinics he eventually had to go to in order to troon out since doctors wanted him to actually take steps to transition.

Kevin mentioned reading a reddit thread about a mother reading her daughter's diary, and said he had no privacy at home so he "put [his] entire life online" in the bizarre belief that the Internet was the one place he could get "actual privacy."

Kevin decided he was a "spoonie" after reading about it. Kevin's mom and sister thought he was a drug addict at one point and told him he wouldn't be allowed to move in with them if he got fired, after he texted asking what mental illnesses ran in the family. Kevin ended up dreaming up "contingency plans" for if he got sent to the loony bin as a result of that incident.

Kevin is online friends with Daniel "Ireneista" Knapp (a lolcalf who has shown up in various threads, he personally creeped out Based Blue Randi Harper with his "plural" LARPing), and he was the first online friend Kevin had ever met up with in real life. Kevin went on a vacation to Seattle to meet some other mentally ill men he knew online, he got triggered when a guy saw them all on a bus and dubbed them men. Kevin was also looking to buy scalpels for his sick fetish while there.


Kevin managed to be in a relationship which ended before 2014 and he was still in contact with the ex to some degree, the ex claimed to have a headmate and had told him his spiritual guide was a "death goddess."

Kevin wanted to tell HR (at Google I presume) that "genderfluid" people should be able to use whichever restroom they felt like using at the time. Kevin credits something called A Softer World (or possibly a now-gone article on there) for helping him get his job. Kevin was worried about co-workers finding his Twitter account and had decided he would lock it down if it happened. Kevin is also an IRC addict (and has at times wanted to take conversations to IRC so it wouldn't be "logged" on Twitter) and was using it at work. Kevin admitted to viewing NSFW content at work. He had also been looking into getting a tugboat in case he got fired. He told people at work that he was 'plural.' He also claimed to have a "breakdown" and wanted to get on medical leave in November.

Kevin expressed interest in tulpas and by April he had started creating a "headmate" and wondered if becoming "plural" would be a good thing. Kevin decided to name the headmate "Lilith." He suddenly began using "we" instead of "I" on Twitter and said he had induced plurality. (He later says he started using "we" at work and no one cared) Even this derangement was not safe from his other fetishes and he wanted to wear a diaper in his "innerworld." In June, Kevin claims a "primordial demon" took over his body and became his "system's protector" after fighting with "Lain." (The diaper fetish brony friend that got sent to the loony bin earlier in the year is also now a "system" as of June.)

By August, Kevin was claiming to have multiple headmates that he needed to name. He then claimed that "Lucia" had "broke" and that a headmate would have to be "fronting." (What a surprise, he has more online friends pretending to be "systems" (seemingly found on tulpa-related sites/chats) and was part of a "trans poly plural community") Kevin admitted he had 'induced plurality' earlier in the year after learning about tulpas, in August he tried to claim he was "plural" back in elementary school and that a "new being" was formed after he first got on the Internet and it took over when he was 15. He decided that the "original" mind or whatever is "long gone." He also lied and said it was "trauma induced" plurality, when he clearly looked up tulpas and started roleplaying. He also has a fetish for wings and most of these early headmates have them.

In October, the "system" was said to be up to 5. Kevin claimed to be able to self harm in his "innerworld." He also claims he had memories on "partitions" and can't access them, and shortly later started RPing that a headmate was "fronting" and suddenly could remember all of that. One of the headmates is a ragdoll that can be a ragdragon or a ragangel. He also started pretending that he had a tail. In December, he wanted to "consensually" eliminate Lucia in an attempt to get rid of "impulsiveness."