Horrorcow Kevin Gibes / Kathryn Gibes / TransSalamander / RageTreb / The Green Salamander - "Am hole:" The epitomized Twitter MtF you thought was just a myth! Donate to his Transformers toy fund today!

[Spunt]

I don't know shit about farm work. How many people do you actually need to take care of this many animals? 3-4 working people doesn't seem like nearly enough.

I don't know much about farming, but this guy I watch on YouTube works part time with his wife on his farm, and they have about 30 geese, 20 ducks, 6 chickens, 2 barn cats and a guard dog. He also does all the construction. I don't know how much more work alpacas, sheep and goats are by comparison, but it sounds plausible for 4 people full time?

https://www.youtube.com/c/GoldShawFarm

 

[Dilligaff]

I don't know much about farming, but this guy I watch on YouTube works part time with his wife on his farm, and they have about 30 geese, 20 ducks, 6 chickens, 2 barn cats and a guard dog. He also does all the construction. I don't know how much more work alpacas, sheep and goats are by comparison, but it sounds plausible for 4 people full time?

https://www.youtube.com/c/GoldShawFarm

Yeah, but they seem to be intelligent, responsible people. Also they don't have any big animals which would make a lot more work, I'm guessing.

 

[Constellationzero]

I figure the alpacas and sheep alone require the troons to get up before dawn and get going on cleaning their pen/stalls, milking, watering and feed, etc.

 

[William Shatner]

I don't know shit about farm work. How many people do you actually need to take care of this many animals? 3-4 working people doesn't seem like nearly enough.

I grew up in a small farm and it isn't a lot of work if everything is well planned. You just need to provide shelter, food and vaccinate them and the animals will mind their business which is just eating and fucking all day. It can easily be done by 2-4 people

I don't know about Alpacas though

 

[PozzedByCoronachan]

I owe you all an apology; I misremembered and made a liar of myself, it's not seven cats, it's six. From the interview with the Heavy Feather Review:
View attachment 1514783

We are an alpaca rescue, so we do get more every year. We aren't breeding alpaca yet, but we hope to start next year.

Seems to me at least like they've given up on trying to turn a profit on alpaca wool if they're calling themselves an alpaca rescue now. God help Westcliffe if the Tranch collapses and the animals they horde can't be contained or killed, unless they want an army of 100+ alpacas rushing through town and eating the grass in everyone's frontyard.

Also, do we know where these alpacas are coming from in the first place? Are they getting alpacas from other farms in America or are they importing these all the way from fucking Peru?

 

[Bani]

This is just too funny if you visualize it. Imagine three grown-up men in dresses hysterically (testerically?) yelling at each other to the point one of them "attempts suicide" (probably tried to cut his wrists with a butter knife) and another has to hide in his bedroom and pee out the window.

Monty Python has you covered.

 

[Spastic Colon]

Seems to me at least like they've given up on trying to turn a profit on alpaca wool if they're calling themselves an alpaca rescue now. God help Westcliffe if the Tranch collapses and the animals they horde can't be contained or killed, unless they want an army of 100+ alpacas rushing through town and eating the grass in everyone's frontyard.

Also, do we know where these alpacas are coming from in the first place? Are they getting alpacas from other farms in America or are they importing these all the way from fucking Peru?

There are plenty of people who get suckered into alpaca farming. It almost seems like a pyramid scheme of a sort. Once they find out they aren't really cut out for farm life (it's a lot of work, even for just a few alpaca and you don't make any money off just a few), they look to sell them. If they can't sell them, a rescue is a good option if they don't want to butcher them. Had a family member that did the alpaca farm thing for a while, as well as a high school buddy try this and neither time did it work out. They just lost money.

 

[Neko GF]

Kev-Kev whines about how Twitter's latest "who can reply" feature isn't giving him a perfect echo-chamber:

https://twitter.com/TransSalamander/status/1293610213254160384 (Archive)

Kev-Kev using said feature to try and "troll" people by reminding everyone about his trash taste and retarded identity:

https://twitter.com/TransSalamander/status/1293605840977461253 (Archive)
https://twitter.com/TransSalamander/status/1293607527771299842 (Archive)

Kev-Kev's trolling attempts are sad. What's the point of trying to troll if you can't actually confirm that you got a reaction out of your targets? All it confirms that Kev-Kev can't handle opposing opinions, something that is already an established trait of his.

 

[BallBuster]

Kev-Kev whines about how Twitter's latest "who can reply" feature isn't giving him a perfect echo-chamber:
View attachment 1515265View attachment 1515266
https://twitter.com/TransSalamander/status/1293610213254160384 (Archive)

Kev-Kev using said feature to try and "troll" people by reminding everyone about his trash taste and retarded identity:
View attachment 1515275View attachment 1515299
https://twitter.com/TransSalamander/status/1293605840977461253 (Archive)
https://twitter.com/TransSalamander/status/1293607527771299842 (Archive)

Kev-Kev's trolling attempts are sad. What's the point of trying to troll if you can't actually confirm that you got a reaction out of your targets? All it confirms that Kev-Kev can't handle opposing opinions, something that is already an established trait of his.

There is no such thing as a Bi lesbian. You are one or the other. You can’t like men and women... and Also women Only.

 

[Putin Bot]

There is no such thing as a Bi lesbian. You are one or the other. You can’t like men and women... and Also women Only.

They really are trying to erase lesbians. There’s even he/him lesbians.

Funny how they don’t do this shit with gay men. But maybe because gay men are labeled homoSEXual.

 

[Norman B. Normal]

Kev-Kev whines about how Twitter's latest "who can reply" feature isn't giving him a perfect echo-chamber:

https://twitter.com/TransSalamander/status/1293610213254160384 (Archive)

Sometimes women want their own spaces too. I guess you can't have everything.

 

[Prolego]

They claim they're going to keep all of them, but I'm not sure if it's legal for a single household to have nine dogs in Colorado.

Edit: Looked into it, and yep, owning nine adult dogs is against the law in Custer County. Phil will have to adopt out at least six of the puppies to be in compliance. And just in case he's reading this and gets any funny ideas: you also can't kill dogs on your property.

So much for the land of the fucking free. Even in communist Russia you are free to have as many as you want.

I figure the alpacas and sheep alone require the troons to get up before dawn and get going on cleaning their pen/stalls, milking, watering and feed, etc.

It's not a lot of work most of the year. The only animals that have their pens cleaned regularly are horses; anything else kept inside you just bung down a bit more straw from time to time, then once a year drive a tractor through to clean it out. I've never heard of anyone milking alpacas, although it might happen. Sheep get milked in a few places like Greece, but unless they're planning to hawk overpriced homemade fetta at the nearest farmers' market then that's unlikely. Is there an overpriced farmers' market anywhere near them? They spoke of selling the lambs, so usually you'd leave the sheep's milk for them. No-one waters farm animals by hand either, given that troughs and ballcocks have been with us for the last couple of centuries. And theoretically you shouldn't need to feed livestock extra in the summer, but given that the troon ranch looks like a desert in some photos then they may have to do that. Drive to hay barn, chuck a couple of bales on the flat bed, drive to field and drop it in feeder. You could probably dilate while doing it.

As far as the stuff to do checklist goes, make sure they're all alive once a day or so, and that the fence is still there and that's about it. On a real farm you'd be managing your use of the land, fertilising the grass, moving the animals around from time to time to give the fields a chance to regrow, and maybe even growing and harvesting your own hay and straw, but I've not seen any sign of that sort of stuff happening. Come to think of it I don't even think they've got a fucking tractor, unless there's one boxed up somewhere in Kevin's collection.

 

[Chewing Character]

Here's the updated animal list:

• Alpacas: 112+, actively breeding
• Sheep: 23- 3 rams, 20 ewes, plans to breed
• Dogs: 3 adult dogs + 8 puppies, actively breeding
• Ducks: 40, likely breeding
• Chickens: 55, will likely breed
• Cats: 6, some still intact, will likely breed
• Goats: 2, mother daughter pair (spared for now)

TOTAL: 238

I was going to just go with the Buzzfeed article that said they had 100 alpacas, but Penny and Bonnie are full of surprises. Two hours ago, they recieved a shipment of 12 more adult female alpacas. Videos of the delivery in the spoilers. (archive)

Spoiler: welcome to hell

My animal care sperg here is that they are not quarantining any of these animals. They are purchasing them and immediately throwing them in with their herd. If one of those alpacas is sick, their entire herd could get sick.

According to the Buzzfeed article, they have 8 people total living in Outer Kevin. We know for a fact Kevin does nothing, so that leaves seven people to take care of 238 animals.

 

[Azafran90]

Here's the updated animal list:

• Alpacas: 112+, actively breeding
• Sheep: 23- 3 rams, 20 ewes, plans to breed
• Dogs: 3 adult dogs + 8 puppies, actively breeding
• Ducks: 40, likely breeding
• Chickens: 55, will likely breed
• Cats: 6, some still intact, will likely breed
• Goats: 2, mother daughter pair (spared for now)

TOTAL: 238

I was going to just go with the Buzzfeed article that said they had 100 alpacas, but Penny and Bonnie are full of surprises. Two hours ago, they recieved a shipment of 12 more adult female alpacas. Videos of the delivery in the spoilers. (archive)

Spoiler: welcome to hell

View attachment 1515810
View attachment 1515812

My animal care sperg here is that they are not quarantining any of these animals. They are purchasing them and immediately throwing them in with their herd. If one of those alpacas is sick, their entire herd could get sick.

According to the Buzzfeed article, they have 8 people total living in Outer Kevin. We know for a fact Kevin does nothing, so that leaves seven people to take care of 238 animals.

Why the fuck are they talking with that accent? Is this how incels think women sound like?
What was that barrel with feet and a ponytail? Am I supposed to not panic if I see that entering the public restroom?
And yes, those alpacas are so dead too...

 

[Spastic Colon]

So, who does the vaccination and other vet duties? Or are they doing that themselves? They are doing it, aren't they? We haven't seen a GFM for vet bills, though, so I'm thinking there's a chance that they don't actually get the animals checked out for health issues. They should at least do that for the new alpacas coming into the herd. Not sure how often farm animals need to see an actual veterinarian and they might be able to just do the vaccinations themselves, but I don't recall them posting anything about doing that.

Of course, once they read this thread, they might suddenly decide they need to GFM for vet bills ...

 

[Chewing Character]

So, who does the vaccination and other vet duties? Or are they doing that themselves? They are doing it, aren't they? We haven't seen a GFM for vet bills, though, so I'm thinking there's a chance that they don't actually get the animals checked out for health issues. They should at least do that for the new alpacas coming into the herd. Not sure how often farm animals need to see an actual veterinarian and they might be able to just do the vaccinations themselves, but I don't recall them posting anything about doing that.

Of course, once they read this thread, they might suddenly decide they need to GFM for vet bills ...

You can do some vaccinations at home once you've been shown how to by a vet, but if they can't afford to get a cat spayed, they definitely aren't going to be able to vaccinate all of the animals on the ranch.

Source: Vaccinated foster puppies.

 

[PoisonedBun]

So much for the land of the fucking free. Even in communist Russia you are free to have as many as you want.

Do you trust the ranch with nine dogs?

 

[AlexaAutismo]

If there is a God, let it help those animals.
Fuck.

 

[Norman B. Normal]

Okay, that's it: I MUST have the television rights to the Ranch's story. I see a single-camera dark comedy for HBO or one of the streaming services. Pitch is "Arrested Development, but with troons on an alpaca ranch in East Bumfuck, Colorado." I even see Tony Hale playing Kevin. I could even be coerced into writing a story treatment, twist my arm

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

If there is a God, let it help those animals.
Fuck.

Jesus, even letting them loose in the woods to whatever fate would be arguably kinder than keeping them with cock cutting degenerate animal hoarders.