Horrorcow Kevin Gibes / Kathryn Gibes / TransSalamander / RageTreb / The Green Salamander - "Am hole:" The epitomized Twitter MtF you thought was just a myth! Donate to his Transformers toy fund today!

[BScCollateral]

It's such a meaningless analogy anyway.

It is kind of bizarre that people make up neologisms for perfectly common and innocent concepts. Gangsters called a contract killing a "hit" to confuse outsiders; computer people talk about "race conditions" because it's a subtle technical concept nobody else talks about much, but people invent cutsie analogies to say "I don't have the energy." I suspect it's to show you're one of the "with-it" crowd, but other theories might exist.

 

[stupid frog]

Sheesh, that looks like the sort of garage you buy flat-packed at CostCo

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the animals seem cold and sad

 

[farttpott]

so all Kev seems to have done is retweet that video and is now playing some video game that is hardly worth archiving

it's not even like he's doing a twitch stream and performing on camera/making money. he's just dicking about on twitter while everyone else works with the livestock in the snow. i thought you needed to "get active" Kevin you big fat sack of shit

 

[Witthel]

Absolutely, I think a lot of people in this thread are seriously overestimating how much value animals, especially livestock, hold to authorities.

Considering people like Kero are walking free, that's (unfortunately) a given.

The best thing we can hope for at this point is that there's no way the tranch can explain away the alpacas dying from their negligence and that it tarnishes their reputation.

 

[Norman B. Normal]

WESTCLIFFE, Colo., April 8, 2021 - Custer County sheriff's deputies investigating a local ranch in response to an anonymous tip today encountered a gruesome scene: more than 50 half-starved, bedraggled alpacas picking at what appeared to be scattered human bones, many of which bore traces of flesh.

Deputies found the alpacas wandering around the grounds of the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch, which consist of a dilapidated house and detached garage on about 35 acres of pasturage. The owners could not be located as of press time and have not responded to contact attempts. Investigators estimate that the property has been unoccupied for at least a month.

The snow cover would have prevented the alpacas from grazing, animal control officers say, and and no evidence of alpaca feed has been found on the grounds, leading them to preliminarily conclude that the animals may have stayed alive by attacking the human residents of the ranch and subsisting on the remains.

The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch, a collective of transgender women raising alpacas for wool, had become mildly famous on the Internet for their mission of providing housing to at-risk transgender people and for the offbeat, colorful Twitter postings made by some of the residents. Custer County Sheriff's Department spokesperson Nina Cortes said that the department had received an anonymous tip that one particularly prolific poster had not been heard from since late February.

"This was a woman named Kathryn, who would consistently post dozens of tweets a day, every day, around the clock, and then suddenly one day there was just nothing," Cortes said. "Kathryn" is Kathryn Gibes, 33, who posts to Twitter under the handle @TransSalamander, and currently has nearly 180,000 tweets, according to Twitter. Her most recent message is dated February 26 and reads "My pussy is extra musky today! I think the alpacas can tell! >///////<". It has attracted more than 150 responses from concerned followers wondering if she is okay and asking why she hasn't been tweeting.

It is extremely unusual for alpacas to attack humans, according to David Longworth, professor of zoology at the University of Colorado. "Alpacas are herbivores, so they don't eat meat except in extreme circumstances," he said. "Even at that, I would never expect an alpaca to actually attack and kill a human, unless they had been seriously abused or neglected."

The human remains have been taken to the medical examiner's office for identification. The animal control department has taken custody of the alpacas, which are temporarily being housed at a local large-animal welfare shelter until homes can be found for them.

 

[Ronnie Rocket]

Okay, I guess I was too fucking optimistic before about the alpacas. I am now legit MOTI at these assholes.

Alpaca Facts for Kiwis (that retarded troons should already know):

1. Alpacas sleep in a "cush" position, with their legs curled underneath them like a cat en loaf. There are FAR too many animals in that tiny shed for them to comfortably sleep.

2. Alpacas use a communal dung pile and the way they're crammed into that shed doesn't allow for them to shit as the good lord intended them to - not to mention it makes mucking out the barn a fuck of a lot harder than it needs to be.

3. Motherfucker you shear alpacas in the SPRING so they're cool during the heat of summer and have grown back enough of a coat to keep them warm in FALL and winter.

As much as I'm not about touching the communal dung pile, I fervently hope a nearby alpaca rescue discovers this mess and reports them to the authorities for livestock abuse. (Edit: Or I pray it goes down exactly like @Norman B. Normal describes above - except a lot sooner.)

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

Sheesh, that looks like the sort of garage you buy flat-packed at CostCo

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Holy hell. So at first I only looked at the first vid and thought

“Meh it’s not ideal but it looks likes a warm wooden barn, too small but should be fine for a winter...”

I didn’t know that was the Males Only Barn

Like holy shit there pure hatred and misogyny towards cis women crosses the species line (correction, they hate all alpacas equally)

The Female only barn it is a fucking travesty, it’s a fucking tin shed, the kind North Korea would keep political prisoners in. (Edit: there barn is lined with chipboard which is better than pure tin)

Spoiler: Why a metal barn is not ideal

there’s a few reasons why barns should be made out of wood, first is an excellent natural insulator of heat, it let’s in natural light and it’s not airtight so it can let natural airflow in and out. there’s also a lot to do with echos inside, wood absorbs sound waves a lot better than metal does, metal tends to reflect sound so if you have 50 screaming alpacas then it’s amplified and all the alpacas can hear it. Not good for their mental state.

People do keep animals in metal barns however those animals are normally getting ready to be slaughtered in an industry which cuts cost at every opportunity.
I don’t expect this ruthless capitalism from my “cruelty free commune grown wool alternative” alpaca wool supplier.

you can see in the videos that the female alpacas are a lot slower and less willing to go out, The males didn’t seem too bothered (even though a comment on the Male video said “They do not look impressed“).

i’m just gonna wait until one PETA sympathizing Troon Tweets at them with this video. Will be an interesting little saga.

Also

Happy 500 pages Kevvie!!

Please leave the animals alone!

 

[Ronnie Rocket]

Holy hell. So at first I only looked at the first vid and thought

“Meh it’s not ideal but it looks likes a warm wooden barn, too small but should be fine for a winter...”

I didn’t know that was the Males Only Barn

Like holy shit there pure hatred and misogyny towards cis women crosses the species line

The Female only barn it is a fucking travesty, it’s a fucking tin shed, the kind North Korea would keep political prisoners in.

Spoiler: Why a metal barn is not ideal

there’s a few reasons why barns should be made out of wood, first is an excellent natural insulator of heat, it let’s in natural light and it’s not airtight so it can let natural airflow in and out. there’s also a lot to do with echos inside, wood absorbs sound waves a lot better than metal does, metal tends to reflect sound so if you have 50 screaming alpacas then it’s amplified and all the alpacas can hear it. Not good for their mental state.

People do keep animals in metal barns however those animals are normally getting ready to be slaughtered in an industry which cuts cost at every opportunity.
I don’t expect this ruthless capitalism from my “cruelty free commune grown wool alternative” alpaca wool supplier.

you can see in the videos that the female alpacas are a lot slower and less willing to go out, The males didn’t seem too bothered (even though a comment on the Male video said “They do not look impressed“).

i’m just gonna wait until one PETA sympathizing Troon Tweets at them with this video. Will be an interesting little saga.

Also

Happy 500 pages Kevvie!!

Please leave the animals alone!

Dude it's the same barn; it has two doors and a 5' tall plywood partition down the middle.

 

[White Peach]

Before everyone gets their panties in a wad, lets look at the alpaca situation. I counted 52 lamas coming out (fuck off KF for making me do this). The barn looks insulated with foam on the sides and the roof so I don't think cold is an issue. The front seems to be about 12 feet across which would mean that the depth should be 34 feet for 8sq. ft * 52 lamas. I don't think it is that deep but it is close.

So let's just lay off the lama Auschwitz for now. Troon ranch has many real fuck-ups, wait for the real ones.

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

Dude it's the same barn; it has two doors and a 5' tall plywood partition down the middle

I would like to sincerely apologize to tenacious unicorn ranch. I miss spoke when I said they hate females alpacas so much that they tournament them by sticking them in a tin shed.
The truth is, they hate all alpacas equally and will stick them in a tin shed regardless of their gender.

also fuck me it’s all chipboard. Very good for sound insulation but not very good for heat insulation. that and if they bought the cheap stuff it’s likely made with extremely bad polymer glue which is slightly noxious. Oh and chipboard is completely non-weatherproof and absorbs all liquids like a sponge. I think after the winter they’re gonna have to completely cut it out and redo it with a better wood because the animals are going to piss and shit all over it and it’s just going to seep into the chipboard and turn it into mush.

 

[s0mbra]

I learn so much on this website

 

[AmbiTron]

I came here to laugh at the fat manchild with a mangled crotch and somehow I came out with a PhD in Alpacanomics.

 

[Spastic Colon]

Absolutely, I think a lot of people in this thread are seriously overestimating how much value animals, especially livestock, hold to authorities.

True, but the same people who support troons also tend to value humane farming practices and none of them are calling the troons out on this kind of stuff. Replace the troons with Trump supporters packing alpacas in like sardines and talking about housing people in shipping containers and there would be calls to shut them down in a heartbeat. But if troons do it, it's totally okay. It's the hypocrisy of it all that irritates me.

Sure, it's not an alpaca holocaust ... yet. But I seriously doubt they have sourced enough feed for these animals for the winter. There's been no talk about having a vet visit the herd and they didn't even know enough to separate the males from females (hence the surprise pregnancy). I'm not even sure they'll be able to keep the humans fed and warm during winter, much less the alpacas.

 

[Prolego]

Alpacas freezing to death? Look at the replies to the "letting the boys out" video, and their answer is "Been There. Done That."




But at least someone is beginning to get it

also fuck me it’s all chipboard. Very good for sound insulation but not very good for heat insulation. that and if they bought the cheap stuff it’s likely made with extremely bad polymer glue which is slightly noxious. Oh and chipboard is completely non-weatherproof and absorbs all liquids like a sponge. I think after the winter they’re gonna have to completely cut it out and redo it with a better wood because the animals are going to piss and shit all over it and it’s just going to seep into the chipboard and turn it into mush.

I don't think it's chipboard, it looks more like spray-on foam. Nothing wrong with that in theory, and a pretty sensible idea on those metal walls, but I'd be happier if they covered it up with something. God knows what toxic chemicals are in there.

I've no idea what ventilation is like, but with almost 100 alpacas crammed in to that tiny space condensation is inevitable. The only drinking water seems to be in a big bucket at the back of the garage. Can the Alpacas at the front fight there way there if they want a drink? Or will they just lick the walls instead? Plus I guess that the winter nights are pretty long in Colorado. Is there enough water to last them.

On second thoughts, maybe the real clown car is that big RV in the background.

(edit) - They're already planning their second holocaust

At least cows have been known to fight back. That garage wouldn't last a week filled with these guys.

 

[EvaBraunsGhost]

Before everyone gets their panties in a wad, lets look at the alpaca situation. I counted 52 lamas coming out (fuck off KF for making me do this). The barn looks insulated with foam on the sides and the roof so I don't think cold is an issue. The front seems to be about 12 feet across which would mean that the depth should be 34 feet for 8sq. ft * 52 lamas. I don't think it is that deep but it is close.

So let's just lay off the lama Auschwitz for now. Troon ranch has many real fuck-ups, wait for the real ones.

Need to stop you there Chief

The 52 you counted would have been just one side - the 'girl' or 'boy' side...I calculated earlier in the thread after giving up counting on 48 and that was just the girl 'pacas

There was about the same packed into the boy side so that gives us a ballpark of c100 alpacas in there meaning that 'close to' 34 feet actually needs to be 68+ and it's nowhere near that - poor little bastards can't turn or lay down properly crammed in like that which won't help the quality of their coat any and will lead to a whole other host of pretty nasty outcomes

EDIT: cheers TranBon for the confirmation 'about 96 last count'

True, but the same people who support troons also tend to value humane farming practices and none of them are calling the troons out on this kind of stuff. Replace the troons with Trump supporters packing alpacas in like sardines and talking about housing people in shipping containers and there would be calls to shut them down in a heartbeat. But if troons do it, it's totally okay. It's the hypocrisy of it all that irritates me.

Sure, it's not an alpaca holocaust ... yet. But I seriously doubt they have sourced enough feed for these animals for the winter. There's been no talk about having a vet visit the herd and they didn't even know enough to separate the males from females (hence the surprise pregnancy). I'm not even sure they'll be able to keep the humans fed and warm during winter, much less the alpacas.

With you on that - you can bet your ass if these were nasty cis men in MAGA hats the troon brigade would be kicking right off - "die cis scum animal abusers!"
I guess we shouldn't be surprised when hypocrisy seems to be the life-force that keeps these lunatics going

I'm under no illusions - I'm sure the authorities wouldn't give a shit or touch Tranch with a bargepole - big scary packing dude-womyn? No way

I can't speak for the USA but if animal control there are anything like the RSPCA here, they vastly favour easy targets - think the poor little old lady who maybe couldn't get a tin of food or get her cat to the vet for nothing in particular, or cases they can easily prosecute to look 'good' in the eyes of the public who throw money at them as a result of their heart-wrenching emotional blackmail TV ads

Yet call them because you've found an animal in genuine trouble or distress and they aren't interested - no money in it

They are a fucking disgrace quite honestly

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

He used to work in hospice? As what? The very final scare to send off someone too stubborn to die?
I think this is more horrifying than Pennywise' abandoned son or Kev's degeneracy.

 

[Peaches Demure]

WESTCLIFFE, Colo., April 8, 2021 - Custer County sheriff's deputies investigating a local ranch in response to an anonymous tip today encountered a gruesome scene: more than 50 half-starved, bedraggled alpacas picking at what appeared to be scattered human bones, many of which bore traces of flesh.

Deputies found the alpacas wandering around the grounds of the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch, which consist of a dilapidated house and detached garage on about 35 acres of pasturage. The owners could not be located as of press time and have not responded to contact attempts. Investigators estimate that the property has been unoccupied for at least a month.

The snow cover would have prevented the alpacas from grazing, animal control officers say, and and no evidence of alpaca feed has been found on the grounds, leading them to preliminarily conclude that the animals may have stayed alive by attacking the human residents of the ranch and subsisting on the remains.

The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch, a collective of transgender women raising alpacas for wool, had become mildly famous on the Internet for their mission of providing housing to at-risk transgender people and for the offbeat, colorful Twitter postings made by some of the residents. Custer County Sheriff's Department spokesperson Nina Cortes said that the department had received an anonymous tip that one particularly prolific poster had not been heard from since late February.

"This was a woman named Kathryn, who would consistently post dozens of tweets a day, every day, around the clock, and then suddenly one day there was just nothing," Cortes said. "Kathryn" is Kathryn Gibes, 33, who posts to Twitter under the handle @TransSalamander, and currently has nearly 180,000 tweets, according to Twitter. Her most recent message is dated February 26 and reads "My pussy is extra musky today! I think the alpacas can tell! >///////<". It has attracted more than 150 responses from concerned followers wondering if she is okay and asking why she hasn't been tweeting.

It is extremely unusual for alpacas to attack humans, according to David Longworth, professor of zoology at the University of Colorado. "Alpacas are herbivores, so they don't eat meat except in extreme circumstances," he said. "Even at that, I would never expect an alpaca to actually attack and kill a human, unless they had been seriously abused or neglected."

The human remains have been taken to the medical examiner's office for identification. The animal control department has taken custody of the alpacas, which are temporarily being housed at a local large-animal welfare shelter until homes can be found for them.

I rated your post optimistic, but even-toed ungulates are in fact opportunistic omnivores, so maybe, just maybe...

 

[Cowpies]

Nooo you degenerates leave Emo Cow alone.

And they're going to buy another property? With what money?

 

[Shovel Of Ammunition]

There really needs to be two threads:
One for the people who want to observe the dumbest retards in the world pretend to be ranchers, and the other for people who want to talk about Kevin’s mutilated dick.

 

[Gizmoduck]

There really needs to be two threads:
One for the people who want to observe the dumbest retards in the world pretend to be ranchers, and the other for people who want to talk about Kevin’s mutilated dick.

I think it's nice that the balance always keeps the thread going. When Kevin's too busy playing video games to give us Twitter meltdowns, Pennywise and Bonnie pick up the slack by telling us about the Alpacas they froze to death.

Anyway, why do they have a decrepit old lady alpaca that can't produce viable wool? I remember them buying alpacas fairly recently, so did they pick them up at a backyard sale or something?