Careercow Kimberly Crawley - Autistic Game Developer and Creator of Hackers vs. Banksters

[chimpburgers]

Out of all the Gamergate related cows I have read about, I have not really laughed this hard going through this woman's social media and whining about 8chan and whatever triggers her that day. There is so much to discuss with how much of an actual cow she is, even before Gamergate ever happened. She has been panhandling her shitty looking online game for a while and has done a bunch of other really funny things with her time. I'm even intrigued by her incessant complaining about the education system and trying to play the victim using her Asperger's diagnosis.

Her new game first and foremost is the source of much of the hilarity. She has set up a Kickstarter to peddle it and there is just so much wrong with it that this woman could be the Hayden Black of Anti-Gamergate. I really do think that this is the gaming equivalent of a trainwreck like Gen Zed. Let's go through some of it step by step. Just about everything related to it just had me giggling all the way.

This is what she chose to be the logo of the game and then a description on what it is. It's supposed to be a game where you're able to hack through the banks that are in it but I feel that it's just a soapbox for this woman's political views, much like how Andrew Dobson just uses his Twitter to whine and bitch about social justice warrior bullshit.

"We see a lot of visual novels in the crowdfunding scene. Many, if not most of them, are romantically-themed. That’s actually kind of strange, when you think about it, as developing a visual novel around a different theme, say, revenge, would automatically give your project an interesting hook.

That’s exactly what Kimberly Crawley has done with Hackers Versus Banksters, which recently launched on Kickstarter with a modest $753 (USD) funding goal."

"You, the player, are the key to whether or not Crowgirl and Tankboy’s cyberattack on Toronto Mistrust is successful or not. Do you know how to hack a big, greedy bank?"

Hackers Versus Banksters is a visual novel about revenge!

THE INTRO:

Toronto Mistrust Bank stole $70,000 from Tankboy. Now Tankboy and Crowgirl are in deep poverty. But Toronto Mistrust chose the wrong poor people to mess around with... they're master hackers!

You, the player, can chose one of three kinds of cyberattacks:

• Deploy BIOS malware to destroy Toronto Mistrust's Bay Street datacenter
• Imitate a Toronto Mistrust board member with fingerprinting and email spoofing
• Gather intel via illegal digital means to report the bank to the Securities Commission and Canada's top police force, the RCMP

There's a successful ending for each of those three branches, three successful endings in total. Each branch also has two bad endings for performing the attacks incorrectly (six in total) and there's an additional three bad endings applicable to all routes for triggering Tankboy's PTSD too much, and for underfeeding or overfeeding Crowgirl respective to her anorexia. So although Tankboy and Crowgirl are brilliant hackers, you must navigate their mental illnesses succesfully!

The full game will definitely be released on Itch.io (Windows, Mac OS X, and Linux, where the demo already exists), and Google Play (Android.) Soon following a successful Kickstarter, I will also submit the game to Steam Greenlight. If the track record for other visual novels is any indication, Steam release, although not guaranteed, is probable.

Tl;dr: The player gets to plan cyberattacks against banks and having to up against idiots with PTSD.

IT WILL BE DIFFERENT (yeah right):

Most visual novels, including original English language visual novels, feature "anime/manga" style art. Hackers Versus Banksters features western comic strip style art. And like a western comic strip, the character designs are all directly based on my own hand drawings.

The backgrounds are based on photos taken of real Toronto locations, digitally enhanced to look hand drawn and artistic.

The game's script breaks the fourth wall so frequently, that fourth wall doesn't even stay up! Crowgirl and Tankboy know that they're stuck in a visual novel game, and you can see and feel their frustration.

There are loads of visual novels that I really love from developers like Winter Wolves, Otomate/Idea Factory, Nitroplus, Cyanide Tea, and MoaCube. But I'm pleased to say that Hackers Versus Banksters is completely unlike any of the VNs they've ever released.

But is it really different in the way that she's envisioning or is it different for other reasons that her autistic mind didn't intend it to be? I am going to go with the latter option because some of this artwork is purely dreadful.

THE CHARACTERS AND SHITACULAR ARTWORK:

The pile of steaming cow shit speaks for itself.

Spoiler: What the fuck?

The artwork hardly gets any better. It's just crude ugliness all throughout. The backgrounds look a little bit better but it looks like there was 0 effort put into any of the artwork for the cast. It's not Gen Zed or Assigned Male ugly, but it really does have its own cringe factor to it.

REWARDS FOR DONATING TO THIS CLUSTERFUCK OF AUTISM:

BIO ON THE AUTIST HERSELF:

My name is Kim Crawley. I'm from Toronto, Canada. Nice to meet you!

I've been into computing since I touched a Commodore 64 for the first time in 1988 (I'm a lot older than I look.) I've worked in information technology for many years now, starting as a Tier Two tech support agent... oh the stories I could tell!

I started writing professionally about information security in 2011. Yes, infosec pertains to all of that "hacking" stuff. And if you've noticed my resemblance to Crowgirl, that's no accident, either. I've been published by 2600 Magazine, SC Magazine, CIO, CSO, and Computerworld. I also self-publish via Medium. Here are links to some of my articles if you're curious:

• CSO articles
• Computerworld articles
• My Medium stuff

So, I've had a lot of experience with computing from the information technology side of things. But I've loved video games ever since I was a really small child in the late 1980s. Seriously, for about twenty-eight years now, I've played enough games on enough PC and console platforms to make your head spin. And I've also really wanted to practice programming and get better at it. Plus, I was an art school dropout before my IT career. (Sheridan College, part time.)

So, this project, Hackers Versus Banksters, has taken a lot of time, effort, frustration, ambition, and courage. If I can make a mere few grand from this game, it'll be the promising beginning of an indie dev career for me that I'll hopefully be able to buy groceries with.

Hackers Versus Banksters is made with the Ren'Py engine, which uses the PyGame framework and Python. Making this game has taught me a lot about Python. The code I've created includes some custom stuff I've figured out how to do in Python that's beyond the standard Ren'Py scripting, such as the code that keeps track of what Crowgirl has eaten and whether or not she should be hospitalized.

For the past year, I've also been learning Java for Android development. I have several Android app projects that I've been working on, but nothing that I'm ready to show to the public yet, as I am with Hackers Versus Banksters.

A number of people who have played the Hackers Versus Banksters demo have already given me very positive feedback. I've set a very modest goal for this Kickstarter, $1,000 when most successful Kickstarters for visual novels have raised over $5,000. If I meet my very modest goals, it'll be the money and encouragement that I need to continue with my independent game dev. I have several ideas for other games, including more Ren'Py visual novels, and a few point-and-click adventure games (Double Fine style) that I can make in Game Maker.

I appreciate all compliments, constructive criticism, and most of all, financial support of this Kickstarter. If you love helping the little guy, I'm about as much of a "little guy" as possible. I'm broke, and I'm a woman in a male dominated field.

Thanks so much for your support!

Really if you thought this was enough autism for one day, it just gets spergier the more you go down this rabbit hole that this incompetent clown has. I was able to uncover the article that got her fired from.

She got into some drama early last year over this ridiculous article she wrote attacking the chan boards and rightfully got her ass kicked for it. It was all over The Ralph Retort and many other publications. She even came onto GamerGhazi to defend herself and her actions and failed unbelievably.

You can read through the whole article yourself but it's filled with great shit like this.

We’ve probably all heard of Gamergate, unfortunately. Their adherents claim that it’s about “ethics in games journalism.” Here’s what it’s really about. Zoe Quinn is a game developer. I’ve really enjoyed her Depression Quest game. It’s a web-based game that requires no fancy plugins, it’s a “Choose Your Own Adventure,” really. I’ve made CYOA games in Python, I’ve experienced depression, and I’m female. So I really appreciate what Quinn has created. You can play it here. It’s relatable regardless of your gender, because depression has the same effects in people of all genders. You can play it free of charge, but please make a small donation as I’ve done.

"It’s interesting that although I’m considered an expert on hacktivist groups, I’ve seldom spent any time on 4chan, and I certainly have never posted to it. I also stay away from related IRC channels. Its /b/ forum is the most notorious. I have kind of a barometer of good taste that enjoys Cracked.com, the Gawker network, and even South Park*"

Her hateboner for Hotwheels and 8chan goes deep too.

She also loves to play the victim and try to use her Aspergers as an excuse to get rubes to give her money on her retarded GofundMe page.

https://twitter.com/search?q=8chan from:kim_crawley&src=typd&lang=en

Fuck me, she's even met Stefonknee Wolscht before and is buddies with Zoe Quinn and Brianna Wu.

Spoiler: Wu tweets

Updates:

@PTNR 2.0 discovered some more links.

Her FB: https://www.facebook.com/Kimberly.Crawley1984, http://archive.md/Zh1Zx
Her fiance/husband/whatever: https://www.facebook.com/tankboy523, http://archive.md/5xZ3H
Her teddy bear's page aka Kim pretends to be a stuffed animal and talks to herself: https://www.facebook.com/phredd.rooney, http://archive.md/J5jG7

@Jaimas decided to play the game for himself so we don't have to. Give him a big hand.

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jaimas-plays-a-terrible-game-hackers-vs-banksters.19004/

@CyrusKissFanClub discovered a lot of information about Kimberly's grifting behavior:

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/kimbe...ackers-vs-banksters.18980/page-7#post-1358333

I uncovered a comment from The Ralph Retort explaining how Kimberly got fired from her job:

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/kimbe...ackers-vs-banksters.18980/page-5#post-1357035

@Kerfuffle's LinkedIn discoveries:

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/kimbe...ackers-vs-banksters.18980/page-7#post-1358490

 

[Null]

haha, that game art. is she Kengle's sister?

Edit: I should note that this thread only exists because we all really hate women and want them out of video games forever. #GamerGate #GoHomeGamerGirls

 

[Checkered Spotlight]

So art that rivals the worst of deviantArt, 1337 h4xxorz storyline ripped straight out of the 90's, and a side order of muh soggy knees in gay men? This is going to be great.

This looks like one of those flash dating sims you find on dA but even worse, because it tries to make a "statement" and takes itself seriously.

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

Spoiler

 

[CrimsonKnight]

Out of all the Gamergate related cows I have read about, I have not really laughed this hard going through this woman's social media and whining about 8chan and whatever triggers her that day. There is so much to discuss with how much of an actual cow she is, even before Gamergate ever happened. She has been panhandling her shitty looking online game for a while and has done a bunch of other really funny things with her time. I'm even intrigued by her incessant complaining about the education system and trying to play the victim using her Asperger's diagnosis.

Her new game first and foremost is the source of much of the hilarity. She has set up a Kickstarter to peddle it and there is just so much wrong with it that this woman could be the Hayden Black of Anti-Gamergate. I really do think that this is the gaming equivalent of a trainwreck like Gen Zed. Let's go through some of it step by step. Just about everything related to it just had me giggling all the way.

This is what she chose to be the logo of the game and then a description on what it is. It's supposed to be a game where you're able to hack through the banks that are in it but I feel that it's just a soapbox for this woman's political views, much like how Andrew Dobson just uses his Twitter to whine and bitch about social justice warrior bullshit.

Hackers Versus Banksters is a visual novel about revenge!

THE INTRO:



Tl;dr: The player gets to plan cyberattacks against banks and having to up against idiots with PTSD.

IT WILL BE DIFFERENT (yeah right):



But is it really different in the way that she's envisioning or is it different for other reasons that her autistic mind didn't intend it to be? I am going to go with the latter option because some of this artwork is purely dreadful.

THE CHARACTERS AND SHITACULAR ARTWORK:

The pile of steaming cow shit speaks for itself.

Spoiler: What the fuck?

The artwork hardly gets any better. It's just crude ugliness all throughout. The backgrounds look a little bit better but it looks like there was 0 effort put into any of the artwork for the cast. It's not Gen Zed or Assigned Male ugly, but it really does have its own cringe factor to it.

REWARDS FOR DONATING TO THIS CLUSTERFUCK OF AUTISM:

BIO ON THE AUTIST HERSELF:



Really if you thought this was enough autism for one day, it just gets spergier the more you go down this rabbit hole that this incompetent clown has. I was able to uncover the article that got her fired from.

She got into some drama early last year over this ridiculous article she wrote attacking the chan boards and rightfully got her ass kicked for it. It was all over The Ralph Retort and many other publications. She even came onto GamerGhazi to defend herself and her actions and failed unbelievably.

You can read through the whole article yourself but it's filled with great shit like this.

We’ve probably all heard of Gamergate, unfortunately. Their adherents claim that it’s about “ethics in games journalism.” Here’s what it’s really about. Zoe Quinn is a game developer. I’ve really enjoyed her Depression Quest game. It’s a web-based game that requires no fancy plugins, it’s a “Choose Your Own Adventure,” really. I’ve made CYOA games in Python, I’ve experienced depression, and I’m female. So I really appreciate what Quinn has created. You can play it here. It’s relatable regardless of your gender, because depression has the same effects in people of all genders. You can play it free of charge, but please make a small donation as I’ve done.

"It’s interesting that although I’m considered an expert on hacktivist groups, I’ve seldom spent any time on 4chan, and I certainly have never posted to it. I also stay away from related IRC channels. Its /b/ forum is the most notorious. I have kind of a barometer of good taste that enjoys Cracked.com, the Gawker network, and even South Park*"

Her hateboner for Hotwheels and 8chan goes deep too.

She also loves to play the victim and try to use her Aspergers as an excuse to get rubes to give her money on her retarded GofundMe page.

https://twitter.com/search?q=8chan from:kim_crawley&src=typd&lang=en

Fuck me, she's even met Stefonknee Wolscht before and is buddies with Zoe Quinn and Brianna Wu.

Spoiler: Wu tweets

That is the face of nightmares. Not surprising ilk like Crawley is friends with Wu.

 

[GREEDY FIREMAN]

I can't shake the feeling that Iris Blarsh is modeled after someone she knows and doesn't like.

 

[PurpleSquirrel]

Spoiler

Right down to a Sonichu-like yellow medallion.

 

[MysticMisty]

Those are some massive self-delusions regarding those drawings. She could have easily spent most of that $700 hiring an artist. A handful of portraits and maybe some tweaked backgrounds is easily doable for $350-$400, even if their prices aren't very reasonable like Dobson. Instead we get drawings that honestly look like they came from a student forced to do illustrations for a project, and they felt bad about doing half-assed stick figures.

Regarding her appearance, it looks like a caricature of a hipster douchebag. It's embarrassing. Also those delusions about looking "young", she absolutely looks every bit in her 30's.

 

[Andy27]

I’ve really enjoyed her Depression Quest game. It’s a web-based game that requires no fancy plugins,

That's like saying that staring at a wall is fun because it requires no pesky additional equipment like surfing or tennis do.

I've set a very modest goal for this Kickstarter, $1,000 when most successful Kickstarters for visual novels have raised over $5,000.

To be fair, Chris got 1000 dollars for (not) drawing sonichu from just one guy so I can't blame her. All she needs to do now is make a bunch of humiliating videos, fuck a blow-up doll on camera and shove a medallion up her ass.

I have kind of a barometer of good taste that enjoys Cracked.com, the Gawker network, and even South Park*"

I like how it's South Park that gets in the "even" part, following Cracked.com and Gawker. I'm guessing the article isn't very recent since South Park is haram for SJWs since the Safe Space episodes.

 

[Cubanodun]

So her game is a autistic version of Uplink hacker elite? Amazing

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

Honestly, a "hack the banks" point and click could be kinda cool. Sort of like a Neuromancer dealie where you have to coordinate your team and then do some cool minigames to hack through ICE and security programs.

Shame this woman has no interest in that. Also I love how she unabashedly admits the protagonist is a self-insert.

 

[ULTIMATEPRIMETIME]

omfg shes friends with peter coffin and they both defend allison rapp because of course they do

 

[ObeseScreamingBlackMan]

Why do SJW's all make that same retarded, bug-eyed, closed-lipped selfie face?

Wait, I know why.

Spoiler

:autism:

 

[PTNR 2.0]

After some digging, I've found that Kim has (er, had) the singular most autistic Tumblr I've ever seen. I present: Phredd's World; a Tumblr dedicated to Kim's teddy bear that she poses in various position and takes pictures of it as if it were alive. This woman is 32 years old.

https://web.archive.org/web/20150714145235/http://phreddsworld.tumblr.com/

Example post (this is apparently "Tank" - both the inspiration for Tankboy from her "game" and also her husband, seen here rocking a fierce "60 year old with AIDS" chic):

 

[Typhoid Mary]

Hahaha, she's connected to Stefonknee? That lipstick is trashy, and her hair dye job is crude at best. What the fuck. They belong together.

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

This woman is 32 years old.

Seriously? I'd have guessed she was pushing 40 from that picture alone.

 

[ULTIMATEPRIMETIME]

https://www.change.org/p/reggie-fil...ge-corporate-policy-to-support-harassed-women

fucking lol

edit: every supporter is now a lolcow

also here is her Medium account: https://medium.com/@kim_crawley

 

[PTNR 2.0]

Material for the OP:

Her FB: https://www.facebook.com/Kimberly.Crawley1984
Her fiance/husband/whatever: https://www.facebook.com/tankboy523
Her teddy bear's page aka Kim pretends to be a stuffed animal and talks to herself: https://www.facebook.com/phredd.rooney

 

[Lachlan Hunter McIntyre]

Material for the OP:

Her FB: https://www.facebook.com/Kimberly.Crawley1984

"If you knew me, you'd never forget me"
What a twat.

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

Courtesy of @ULTIMATEPRIMETIME I found an article where she addresses complaints about her game's shitty art.

https://medium.com/@kim_crawley/the-risk-of-trying-something-different-6f6f8f138faf#.a762of98g

Here are her points:

1) She contrasts complaints from people who've never played the game:
--“Your art sucks!”
--“Your art has a certain charm to it…”

To people who played the demo:
--“This game is a lot better than I expected from the screenshots.”
--“I’ve played so many visual novels based on romance with anime-style graphics. I love how your visual novel is completely different in every way.”

2) She compares herself to Randall Munroe (xkcd). According to her, it's okay for her to have lame art because Munroe uses stick figures. Apparently, since Munroe's comic is so popular despite frequent criticisms of his art style, she shouldn't feel bad about Hackers v. Banksters' art design. Munroe of course is actually a pretty capable artist, anyone who's seen his more ambitious comics should know this. The stick figure thing is just part of his comic's identity. He also clearly doesn't care about people going "stick figures lol" and Crawley acknowledges him for this.

3) She claims people historically write off otherwise good games because those games' art styles aren't up to snuff to industry standards. She may have a point here, but her game's artwork isn't up to snuff to any standards.

4) It's okay for her to have shitty art because simplistic Indie games are all the rage right now.