Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Goth who thinks he can control weather, disgusting food mashups, Lazy eye, totally not balding

Ellesse_warrior

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True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
King cobra art competition
Screenshot_20210611-134140_YouTube.jpg
 

Ellesse_warrior

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True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Here's Kobes latest stream, It's sad that I look forward to him doing Dharmann video responses now instead of this shit.
Start:
Doing an Isaac Butterfield video response. Starts the video.
2:15:
Kobes talks about when he found out Steve Irwin died. RIP Steve Irwin. There’s an evangelical Christian pretending to be Steve Irwin. Kobes says the way he sees it Steve died doing what he loved.
4:15:
Evangelicals think jerking off is a sin. Calls him a wanker. Be a preacher fine but you’re not Steve Irwin.
6:50:
Stupid to mess with snakes if you don’t know which ones are poisonous. Kobes thinks Isaac Butterfield’s jokes are hilarious.
9:00:
The guy who’s the topic of the video thinks jerking off is a sin. Leave snakes alone.
10:29:
We create our own realties. Read the book of Thomas, that’s the stuff the church doesn’t want you to know. Goes to get water and rants about Mormons from the kitchen.
12:13:
You can’t preach your religion where you work.
13:10:
Kobes explains how the person in the video is preaching at his job.
14:24:
Kobes says the Bible says you can’t force people to think like you. No one wants to hear about your religion.
15:43:
Born again Christians in prison. Fuck murder.
16:40:
The person in the video is anti lgbtetc.
17:51:
Jesus had sex with a hooker.
18:20:
Lots of people are looking for answers. Religion is cool just don’t be a dickhead about it.
20:42:
Book of Thomas. Has a mini stroke after taking a sip of his drink. Dr. Cobra recommends Chaturbate for your chronic masturbation problem.
23:30:
Kobes brags about his gorgeous of age fan girls.
 

Dick Pooman

Muchacho Sauce
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
20:42:
Book of Thomas. Has a mini stroke after taking a sip of his drink.
Thunkful content incoming: Some people on the subreddit have theorized that his "mini-strokes" that we've been wondering about are just debilitating tooth pain. We all know how rotten his teeth are, and I know from past experience that even so much as getting air on an exposed root can be really fucking painful and it makes sense that it happened after he took a sip of his drink. Seems plausible, anyway.

Also, I love listening to Cobra sperg out about religion.
 

Mandowhorian

Anywhere he goes, I go
kiwifarms.net
That video of him watching a bird eat a tomato got probably the most bizarre yet pure joy of of him I've ever seen. He seems to really enjoy animals, if you don't count that time he crushed a baby bird in a parking lot "to keep a dog from eating it".

I loved this wholesome reaction. I had no idea about the baby bird incident, but I mean I guess he was at least trying to help it? In his own special way.
 

Ellesse_warrior

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True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Thunkful content incoming: Some people on the subreddit have theorized that his "mini-strokes" that we've been wondering about are just debilitating tooth pain. We all know how rotten his teeth are, and I know from past experience that even so much as getting air on an exposed root can be really fucking painful and it makes sense that it happened after he took a sip of his drink. Seems plausible, anyway.

Also, I love listening to Cobra sperg out about religion.
That makes a lot of sense, I'm going to start paying more attention to see if he does it more after eating/ drinking that just out of nowhere. I suspected that was an old McDonalds drink because he was drinking water instead, so maybe it was just because it was gross.
 

Ellesse_warrior

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True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Does anyone have a copy of the IP2 stream? it's gone.
Here's the clip he's talking about from the subreddit

Also from the subreddit
king cobra meth.png

Here's his latest streams:
Start:
Starts the video right away. Doing a Dharman video response about a boss firing an autistic employee.
2:05:
Kobes doesn't agree with saying autism isn't a disability. Thinks calling it different ability creates stigma around disabilities. Just because a person has autism doesn't mean they belong in a group home. Kobes is overqualified for living in a group home.
3:48:
Puts the video link in chat so people can watch along. Shout out to Courtney.
4:40:
Kobes explains autism.
5:35:
A lot of autistics are actually really smart
Kobes is pissed at stereotypes for people with autism.
7:05:
Kobes shills tactical soap to Dharman.
10:26:
Kobes talks about having no friends in school.
11:55:
Water break.
12:30:
Calling autism a different ability is too pc in kobes opinion. He spoils the ending.
14:27:
People with autism are super creative
15:40:
Kobes says the managers attitude is so common in the industry.
Start:
Making a wand for etsy. Shows off a cobra shirt a fan sent him. Shout out to the fan. Shout out to Darfliny for bringing him leftover sushi.
1:44:
Guitar shredding
2:34:
Thinks chat is off. Back to guitar shredding
4:16:
Hes going to list his wands on etsy as soon as he's finished the one he's working on because he's out of sanding discs.
5:00:
Shills his wands, Tee Spring, tactical soap and PayPal
6:09:
Watching a sniperwolf video.
7:25:
Guitar shredding
7:50:
Back to the video.
9:46:
Guitar shredding
10:08:
Back to the video
11:03:
Kobes goes on a rant about people assuming their partners are cheating on them.
12:24:
Back to the video
16:35:
Don't look up porn in the library, get a smart phone. Back to the video
18:08:
Guitar shredding.
19:22:
It's a trick question to ask if your butt looks big. Back to the video.
21:20:
Rant about how all men check out hot chicks when they're out with their girlfriends. Kobes has learned his lesson and says you should only have eyes for your own of age woman. Men can't smack women for checking out other guys.
24:37:
Chad and Cheryl.
25:19:
Dry spell rant
26:55:
Guitar shredding SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE
short video, shows the wand he's working on.
Start:
Chillin out with some mountain Dew. Wands will be on Etsy soon.
1:37:
Looking for videos to react to.
2:11:
Starts a video about shooting. Sits in silence watching the video.
10:30:
5 wands up on etsy soon, he's just finishing off the 5th one. Crying at weddings is stupid. Weddings are just funerals with cakes. Fuck love. Back to the video.
14:05:
Texting
16:03:
Crying because you're happy is dumb. Back to the video.
17:30:
Kobes doesn't care if people cry at a wedding he just thinks people who do are pathetic and stupid. He's not trying to be goth by saying this. Crying laughing is different.
19:18:
Rant about a woman on Facebook complaining about her dry spell. Rant about people blaming Biden on their dry spells. Society is stupid. Says chicks feel too intimidated to date him because of his YouTube celebrity status.
21:44:
Kobes love his dry spell. Dry spell Rant.
24:00:
You can't die from lack of sex. Gives examples of how you could die from no sex. Continues the dry spell Rant.
25:50:
Kobes has had sex with 8-9 women of differ degrees.
26:40:
Checks Tee Spring. He needs 3 more songs for his new album.
27:44:
Says buy merch instead of donations to his PayPal.
29:00:
He doesn't like chat talking about Stephanie. He says he doesn't know what her channel is called. Reading chat. Dry spell.
32:00:
Chi ball action for the YouTube
33:35:
Happy pride month, Kobes doesn't give a fuck about your sexual orientation or gender as long as you're not hurting kids.
Start:
Talking about IP2 stream. Ip2 people photoshopped his pipe tobacco to look like drugs and now people are contacting homedad Clint telling him he's on drugs.
1:34:
Ip2 people are toxic trolls. Trolling people with autism.
3:38:
Posts the link for the stream in chat again as proof. Stream is gone. Says he did the stream to promote his wand business and he won't go on their streams again.
5:57:
Casper pd watch his videos and those dirty reddit trolls are going to be taught a lesson. Fuck with the cobra and get bit.
7:22:
Its past Kobes bedtime.
8:13:
Kobes smokes pot for his autism but doesn't do any hard drugs.
10:44:
Posts the stream link again as proof. Shows his tobacco to prove its tobacco.
13:00:
Exhumed visions sent him beer money to his PayPal. Kobes is pissed at trolls trying to get him swatted or arrested by photoshopping his tobacco. Rant about harassment
18:20:
Reads a text someone sent him money. Rant about the subreddit.
20:13:
Wands will be on etsy on Monday or Tuesday. #youdon'thavetodonatebutdonationsaregreatlyappreciated
21:38:
Gets a text saying the person who photoshopped the picture was banned from the subreddit. Says if his fans mass flag the subreddit it will be taken down eventually.
 

Ellesse_warrior

Plz dox thumb
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Praised be the sexy gothic badgirl Stephanie for another video


Can't archive right now, if someone wants to it would be much obliged
I like her E-girl hair do
 

beeingurself

kiwifarms.net
Imagine if Josh decides to do IRL streaming for that content money.
It would be a nice change...
Or at least some videos where he isn't stuck inside his apartment sitting in the same exact chair, for hours in hundreds of videos, spanning years and years of his life.
Then again, that will end sooner or later, he's not going to last nearly 10 years at the new apartment.

His old videos riding his bicycle like a retard or walking around hunting sticks to make wands would be a breath of fresh air to his current content.
 

Ellesse_warrior

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True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Here's Kobes' latest streams:
Start:
Shout out to someone who sent him money to his PayPal. Drinking lemonade and Captain Morgans. Drying the last wand and then he’s going to post them on Etsy. One is more expensive than the other 4 because it has a cobra symbol sticker on it. Says if you buy the wands just to break them on camera you just cursed yourself. Why would you buy products from a celebrity you hate? Doing a video response to the news. Simply lemonade #notasponsorjustfreeadvertisement.
5:09:
Lemonade isn’t as nice as the lemonade he got from his grandparents. Talks about how he respects old people.
7:11:
Talks about the IP2 stream. IP2 are mean boollies and Kobes isn’t trying to start YouTube drama.
8:43:
Starts a video about someone caught stealing and burning a veteran’s flag in Arizona. Kobes is beyond triggered. Excuse for more Captain Morgan’s.
11:17:
People offended by the US flag rant.
12:25:
Flag rant. Shills his new album.
13:12:
Having a drink for the troops.
13:46:
Kobes will fly 3 flags in his dream house, the US flag, Scottish flag and UK flag. Kobes will shoot anyone who tries to steal his flags trust and believe. Kobes knows some vets and this is pissing him off.
15:50:
Kobes thanks the veteran in the video for his service.
16:46:
Attempted arson. If you don’t like America, then leave rant.
19:25:
Kobes is against snitching except when it comes to flag burning. Kobes wasn’t allowed to join the army because of his autism.
20:52:
Shout out to Captain Morgan for making delicious rum. #notasponsorbutitcouldbe
21:53:
Back to talking about IP2 being big mean boollies. Kobes sticks up for his fans (cult members) who are being bullied. Then he makes creepy comments about Goocheese’s boobs.
25:20:
Kobes paints his nails black because he is goth. Says he’s not going to share Goocheese’s x videos naked video because he’s not a pig. Moar booze.
27:38:
Half of the rum is gone now. Says he’s going to finish the bottle now.
28:40:
BTFO’s some trolls.
29:07:
Going to do a sappy vocal cover for the ladies. Tries to find the lyrics to How am I supposed to live without you, Michael Bolton. Eventually finds them and if you’re a chick you will enjoy his vocal cover.
32:28:
Vocal cover Michael Bolton How am I supposed to live without you. Stops because he’s butchering the song. Spoke too soon because he’s on pitch YouTube. Goes off about how he’s a perfectionist when it comes to singing. Mastering Michael Bolton’s voice beautifully. Trolls don’t get to Kobes because he’s harder on himself than they are.
37:06:
Not pitch perfect but pretty damn close. Kobes prides himself on getting close to pitch perfect in his vocal covers.
38:46:
Getting really into it with the actions. Building his dream house, his YouTube fans and playing guitar are what keeps Kobes going when he’s depressed. Talking about death. Kobes is making the best of every day of his life.
41:25:
Unexpected sneeze. Back to talking about his dream house. A lot of people idolize Kobes and he’s not even Mr. Beast famous. His goal is to be as famous as Mr. Beast. Can’t let the haters get you down. Doesn’t even care if Mr. Beast doesn’t give him money. Talks about Mr. Beasts videos.
44:26:
Kobes will use his wealthy to help Casper and then the world.
45:44:
If someone gave him the option to get $10K from Mr. Beast or the $10k goes to his local food bank he would give the money to his local food bank. Talks about his album. Not rushing it. He likes the sound he produces.
49:04:
Back to the song. Took him 18 minutes to do a vocal cover whew.
51:10:
Waiting patiently to die because fuck suicide.
52:53:
Kobes wants a pet raven and talks about how he would look after it.
54:16:
Phone on airplane mode. How do you like them apples? Nearly finished his wand batch. Shills wands. You can’t use his wands to cast spells against him, his family, friends or fans.
56:41:
Suicide would be a waste of Kobes’ satanic powers.
58:03:
Kobes doesn’t care if people think his next album is controversial to be honest. Vocal cover.
59:36:
Rages because he fucked up the song.
1:01:56:
Back to the song.
1:03:15:
Talking about how he needs to stop being so hard on himself. Trolls. Sits in silence sulking.
1:06:20:
Back to trolls.
1:07:34:
Kind of sounds like he’s talking himself out of suicide. Back to the song for two seconds and then rants about how he is more than just someone who drinks all day on YouTube.
1:09:48:
Rages because he fucks up a Dumbledore quote.
1:10:58:
Back to the song.
1:11:26:
Pissed off he drooled on himself. Back to the song. He’s not happy with how that cover turned out.
1:13:03:
Shout out to someone who gave him money on PayPal. No more vocal covers because he’s not happy with how those two vocal covers turned out. Sulks in silence.
1:16:29:
Talking about his wands. Sulks silently.
1:20:46:
Goes out for a smoke.
1:32:47:
Returns and ends stream.
Start:
Lists off his order.
1:25:
Says he’s not in the mood to make videos right now. Annihilates French fries. He looks so sad drinking those French fries.
5:53:
McDonald’s forgot to add cheese to his chicken sandwich. He puts a bacon cheeseburger into his chicken sandwich as his food hack. TWU
8:50:
Eats burger like an apple. It’s tasty.
11:00:
Cross section action.
12:40:
Saving the rest for later.
14:58:
SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE.
15:26:
Will be posting wands soon. TMDWU.
Start:
Thinks chat is switched off. Drinking rum at sunrise TWU. Ranting about someone texting him and telling him he drinks girly drinks. Stop gender neutralising drinks. Toxic masculinity. Recorded a guitar solo for his album. Kobes is self aware.
4:05:
Stirs his drink with his wand to optimise the taste at a molecular level. Talks about people gender neutralising drinks. Kobes is famous in casper.
5:30:
Shows off his last wand. He'll post the wands on etsy when it's finished drying. Woke up at 3:30 am.
7:12:
Ozzy is old. Age is a state of mind. Checks out cartoons.
8:05:
Talks about his mcdonalds video from yesterday.
8:46:
When he wins the lottery he's going to get hair plugs. Kobes has accepted his baldness. People are too obsessed with hair. Too early to play guitar.
10:40:
KingSoapraJFS
11:47:
Gives advice on how to have a successful youtube channel. Kobes accepts death and lives his life to the fullest. Kobes wants to be as famous as Ozzy and live in a clocktower. Talks about his dream house. Watches belltower videos to help him decide what kind of bell tower he wants. Not in a rush to die.
14:25:
All plant based drugs should be legal. Discuss.
16:40:
Legalise cocaine
17:35:
Poot
18:31:
Checking out the sunrise.
19:26:
Alcohol is not bad.
20:06:
Kobes thinks it would be too much effort to look after a pet raven. He's content feeding the wild birds.
21:10:
No Internet boolly
22:00:
Casper is beautiful
22:54:
Passed out in his chair. Took a shot. Jerked off to chaturbate and went to bed.
Pay your bills. Back to drugs. People that drink more than Kobes exist.
25:06:
Talking about what a good singer he is. Too early for vocal covers.
25:57:
Wands.
26:57:
Give more than you receive to make the world a better place. Kobes would do charity if he won the lottery. Shows off his mug. Boollying.
28:32:
Ozzy shirt. Talks about a pillowcase a fan sent him. Aesthetic.
29:41:
People are too sensitive.
30:07:
Religion rant. In the name of Sayten.
31:33:
Wands
31:46:
Kobes has been trying to get Shon possessed but doesn't think it's worked yet. Random.txt
33:33:
Talks about his McDonalds from earlier and his ED. Says he's 6ft tall. Ozzy t-shirts.
34:32:
Talks about getting a pet cobra when he wins the lottery.
37:36:
Having the rest of his McDonalds burger fir breakfast.
38:39:
Pay your bills, clean up after yourselves. Talks about his burger.
42:23:
Runs to the bathroom and pukes.
45:52:
Sees an Isaac Butterfield video on a vegan and goes off on a rant about the vegan teacher. Leave Billie Eliajh alone.
48:13:
Puts on the video. Fake pukes because he saw a tranny. Goes on a homophobic vegan rant.
52:15:
Triggered by a manscaped ad. Double standards! Talks about pubes for a while.
Of age lips.
57:32:
Finishing off the bottle of rum. Back to talking about pubes.
59:30:
Back to the video for 2 seconds and stops to talk about pubes again.
1:00:54:
Back to the video.
1:01:47:
Men are smelly. Smelly cunts. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Back to talking about pubes. 12 minutes talking about pubes.
1:04:00:
Over exaggerated laughing at the vegan trannys name. It's Faulkner, that's not even a weird name.
1:09:38:
Back to the video for 2 seconds. No one eats monkeys except I'd it's their culture and you're an asshole for stealing their culture. Lions don't care if you're vegan in the jungle. Kobes would punch a lion in it's face.
1:12:35:
Quite frankly kobes doesn't care if he doesn't have alcohol for the rest of the day. Cage free eggs. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Hormones in the chickens making kids have early puberty.
1:15:06:
Men buying tampons.
1:16:00:
Scenario of explaining maturation to a child. 8 year old growing boobs and getting periods. The FDA doesn't care about hormones in food they only care about tobacco.
1:19:27:
Back to the video for 2 seconds. Hormones in beef. Free range. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Humans evolved to eat meat.
1:21:53:
Back to the video for 2 seconds. Kobes is mad the vegan tranny put a sticker on a stop sign, goes on a whole rant.
1:24:44:
Can't even read the name of the video because he's so trashed.
1:25:31:
Back to the video for 2 seconds. Animals can run away, plants are silently screaming.
1:27:45:
Back to the video for 2 seconds. Kobes wouldn't go vegan.
1:29:40:
Talking about how easy it would be for him to date ugly chicks but he's not interested but treat ugly chicks with respect and dignity. He has the hiccups.
1:31:50:
Back to the video for 2 seconds. Mortgage joke. Rant about restrictions on tobacco.
1:33:38:
Goes out for a smoke.
1:47:33:
Returns. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Reads what's written on the screen. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Parrots what's said in the video. Back to the video.
1:51:37:
Unexpected sneeze
1:51:54:
Unexpected sneeze
1:53:12:
What is it with these vegan extremenists comparing eating meat to the holocaust
1:54:25:
Texting. Not drunk. Owning the trolls by blocking them. Talks about the holocaust. Retods.
1:58:00:
Piss break
1:59:17:
Returns. Back to to video. Has hiccups again. No one eats pigeons. Reads texts. Owns the trolls by blocking and deleting the texts. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Vegan rant.
2:03:14:
Vegan pet rant.

New Kate Winslet:
 

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