Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Goth who thinks he can control weather, disgusting food mashups, Lazy eye, totally not balding

[ShiningBrightly]

It would be a nice change...
Or at least some videos where he isn't stuck inside his apartment sitting in the same exact chair, for hours in hundreds of videos, spanning years and years of his life.
Then again, that will end sooner or later, he's not going to last nearly 10 years at the new apartment.

His old videos riding his bicycle like a retard or walking around hunting sticks to make wands would be a breath of fresh air to his current content.

his phone is still fucked, so even if he did ever go anywhere besides a bar (or harassing turkeys) the audio would still be terrible and even tho i've sat through hours of his "content" i just can't watch those phone videos with audio dropping out every 5 seconds.

 

[KillThemCrackasBabies]

Then again, that will end sooner or later, he's not going to last nearly 10 years at the new apartment.

I'd be shocked if he wasn't subjected to routine inspections that'll result in another Term Of Lease before long. How he scrapped by the last place so long I have no idea but we've seen him puke and spill shit on his carpet countless times already. That and the constant screaming has got to already be noted at the new place.

 

[SnusBurns]

Spoiler: Picture of Josh's carpet and socks

A recent view of Josh's carpet. Does not look that bad considering it is his computer jerkoff area. Apparently someone texted Josh, and Josh responded with this picture and a "Kiss your Kings Feet" message.

 

[ShiningBrightly]

Spoiler: Picture of Josh's carpet and socks

View attachment 2262699

A recent view of Josh's carpet. Does not look that bad considering it is his computer jerkoff area. Apparently someone texted Josh, and Josh responded with this picture and a "Kiss your Kings Feet" message.

sadly, this is a good point, as i would have expected MUCH more dried semen...

 

[RollingRock]

This video is a new low, after drinking himself into a drunken stupor the previous evening he presumably crashed into slumber at an early hour. So he wakes up before sunrise at like 6am and pours himself a drink combo of around 2 parts rum 1 part lemonade. Starts drinking that and eats his leftover mcdonalds from last night. Then at around 39 minutes he feels the gut rot kicking in (no shit) and still tries to keep drinking.... and then immediately goes to the bathroom to barf up his drink combo and mcdonalds. And then KEEPS DRINKING after throwing up. Big ups to Ellesse Warrior for slogging through these videos with the timestamps.

 

[Getwhatyou]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGN9TlMwtII

Homeboy skeleton scotty is on the cool taste stream

 

[Ellesse_warrior]

Here's Kobes' videos from yesterday:

Spoiler: ARCHIVE wands for sale

Short video. Just one wand left up on his Etsy. Kobes appreciates his customers. The wand that’s left is the $234 because it has a sticker on it that a fan sent and a shotgun shell. He wants to use the money to get Homedad Clint a father’s day present.

Spoiler: ARCHIVE sighned tin with the wand

Short video. He’s going to include an empty tobacco tin with the wand which he will autograph.

Spoiler: ARCHIVE night video

Short video. Thanks to all the customers for supporting Cobra craft hand made wands. Wands will be in the mail on Thursday as soon as the $410 hits his bank.

Here's more 2016 archives and BCV summaries:

Spoiler: ACRHIVES JUNE 10 -16th 2016 & BCV SUMMARIES

Delays with my order 2016-06-10 1:20 RIP Muhammad Ali | 1:54 Josh's new pipe hasn't come yet because he didn't verify his age, it didn't get sent | 3:35 Josh also ordered the Cradle of Filth Jesus is a Cunt t-shirt | 13:31 Josh tells how he cut his thumb | 14:16 cops are giving people riding around on their bikes too fast a ticket, Scotty got a speeding ticket for riding too fast on his bike | Josh rants about weed A shooting in Orlando Florida 2016-06-12 Josh talks about the Orlando Florida Nightclub shooting | 1:00 Josh thinks two guys kissing is gross | Making french fries and conjering a thunder storm 2016-06-12 2:00 Josh conjures a thunderstorm while cutting up potatoes | 9:00 josh is going to call Wendys to check his schedule | 15:30 Josh talks about mailing off JK Rowling's wand and working on Ozzy's wand | 15:52 BOOM thunder | 16:13 next time Josh gets paid he's going to meet Scotty and meet Tina's roommate Izzy | 17:00 Josh talks about his future wedding | 17:46 Josh thinks this thunderstorm is enough proof that his magic is real | 20:00 thunder | 22:12 thunder | 41:12 Josh would call his restaurant 'Josh's Ass Burgers' | Pipe unboxing 2016-06-13 Josh talks about the Orlando shooting and about gun control | 3:16 Josh got up for 6:30 until 10 waiting for his new pipe | 4:27 shout out to pipes and cigars, Josh got his custom blend and his pipe $174.87 | 10:50 Josh shows off his new pipe | 15:48 Josh is sick of guns getting thrown under the bus... when a mass shooting happens | Why pot should be legalized 2016-06-15 Josh rants about weed How to talk to girls and don't ban guns 2016-06-15 3:47 Josh talks about how he first met Stephanie at Job Crops | Josh rants about shootings and gun control peoples obsetion with me and answering some questions 2016-06-15 Josh shows off Ozzy Osbourne's wand he's working on | 5:45 Josh has people on YouTube trying to impersonate him | Josh talks about what he thinks happens after you die | Talks about religion | How to smoke a tobacco pipe 2016-06-16 Josh unclogs his pipe Waiting for the right girl to come into your life can take forever 2016-06-16 1:00 Josh slept all day but is in work tomorrow but only for a few hours | Josh has $116 coming his way on PayPal (think it was from the pins) | 7:00 Josh's friends tell him he needs to get laid | 13:00 Josh says YouTube is shocked when they find out he's single | 17:30 Scotty told Josh he takes a risk when smoking that he would get cancer when Josh says having sex can give you an STD | 18:30 Josh isn't tripping out about getting cancer, weed will be legal if he has it in the future |

 

[Lesbian Sleepover]

I have my speculation goggles on right now

BUT
I'm pretty confident Mr Saunders is being slow-con long-con gently catfished. He's taking inspiration a la "idea guys" from a different source than discord now

He's not in the mood to make videos, his videos are ultra short because his impulse is video video video, and I'm fairly confident he took down someone's contact info the other day.

I will take my rainbows and disagrees proudly if my investigation turns up nothing.

 

[Ellesse_warrior]

Spoiler: ARCHIVE The Bad Boy

 

[Dick Pooman]

I have my speculation goggles on right now

Unless it's enabling his alcoholism by buying him lots of booze to drink while streaming, I don't think a catfish or even the retard Discord cabal is going to have any real success in getting Cobra to do what they want.

 

[ShiningBrightly]

i wonder if the people who buy his wands think they're being altruistic or helping this autistic retard in some way. or do they really just do it to have a laugh? i couldn't imagine dropping $240 on a retard's wooden dildo even if i was bill gates rich. clearly he is going downhill faster and faster and all they're doing is contributing to his slow death.

 

[KillThemCrackasBabies]

i wonder if the people who buy his wands think they're being altruistic or helping this autistic retard in some way. or do they really just do it to have a laugh? i couldn't imagine dropping $240 on a retard's wooden dildo even if i was bill gates rich. clearly he is going downhill faster and faster and all they're doing is contributing to his slow death.

If I had to guess? Whoever is doing it legitimately thinks by doing it, they're selflessly prolonging the lifespan of the Cobra Cow for everyone's benefit. I can see it, a drunken Jord is a silly Jord and a sober Cobes is a pouty crybaby asshole. But I would think there's a certain fiscal limit on "Look guys, I made the retard make a silly!".

They might also just as easily think they're "trolling" the fanbase by doing it as well. Most of them sure strike me as stupid enough to easily convince themselves of that. But I think ultimately they actually see it as a worthwhile investment in The KingCobraJFS Variety Hour that we don't understand the importance of now, but will be grateful for later.

 

[William S. Sessions]

i wonder if the people who buy his wands think they're being altruistic or helping this autistic retard in some way. or do they really just do it to have a laugh? i couldn't imagine dropping $240 on a retard's wooden dildo even if i was bill gates rich. clearly he is going downhill faster and faster and all they're doing is contributing to his slow death.

i knew a guy who bought one, but he definitely didn't pay that much for it. he just thought it was a funny gag and wanted cobes to say his name on stream.

 

[ShiningBrightly]

i know courtney is an easy target but i mean come on, this middle aged lady literally doesn't have anything better going on in her life that she feels the need to financially support, and spend time actually hanging out with this sex pest. and i mean some people say the same about me when i talk to them about cobra, why would i spend time watching him? but i think there is a difference between watching his videos and actually supporting and interacting him and becoming an actual part of his life...

 

[NoodleFucker3000]

i know courtney is an easy target but i mean come on, this middle aged lady literally doesn't have anything better going on in her life that she feels the need to financially support, and spend time actually hanging out with this sex pest. and i mean some people say the same about me when i talk to them about cobra, why would i spend time watching him? but i think there is a difference between watching his videos and actually supporting and interacting him and becoming an actual part of his life...

Easy ways to get rid of spare money that aren't simping for the village idiot of Casper Wyoming:

-put change in donation jars
-hand it to panhandlers
-give huge tips to wait staff
-play the lotter

-literally just set it on fucking fire even that would be a better idea than giving it to this moron.

 

[Itspinklava]

New Puppet Crust: Cobra Tails - Group Home

 

[Dick Pooman]

I have my speculation goggles on right now

BUT
I'm pretty confident Mr Saunders is being slow-con long-con gently catfished. He's taking inspiration a la "idea guys" from a different source than discord now

He's not in the mood to make videos, his videos are ultra short because his impulse is video video video, and I'm fairly confident he took down someone's contact info the other day.

I will take my rainbows and disagrees proudly if my investigation turns up nothing.

He finally spelled "video response" correctly, so you might actually be on to something.

 

[Ellesse_warrior]

Here's more 2016 archives and BCV summaries:

Spoiler: ARCHIVES & BCV SUMMARIES JUNE 17th - 30th 2016

Haters like to run there mouths 2016-06-17 0:49 someone talked shit so Josh removed his comment | 3:30 Josh gets asked when he smokes tobacco when it comes to having sex | 6:15 fuck the people that fuck with Josh | 8:26 Josh washed the beans off his Rob Zombie shirt | 24:32 Josh talks about his leaked nudes on his internet, he did it to become more famous Bacon Mozzarella cheeseburger review 2016-06-17 Josh is eating some lunch before he starts his shift at Wendys | 7:35 big bite of the burger, Josh has an orgasm | My fingernails are not dirty 2016-06-17 Someone commented on Josh's last video saying his fingernails were dirty for work, so Josh trimmed his nails and roasts his trolls | Josh does vocal covers after Soda review and vocal covers 2016-06-18 Josh went grocery store shopping, his bag split open and his shit went everywhere | 1:00 Josh smacked his head in work | 1:30 Josh talks about the video of Josh jacking off on vimeo, he says it was an experiment to troll his trolls and everyone is obsessed with his dick | 4:00 Josh's phone starts playing music in his pocket | 12:53 trolls always make fun of him and call him retard Josh tries to open up a can with his can opener | 17:00 Josh talks about cleaning the lobby in work | 17:41 Josh tells the story about the rude woman who made fun of Josh's job | 21:29 Josh can't open up the can of pink salmon | 23:53 it's going to be opened if it likes it or not | 26:23 farting and can | 29:00 Josh finally figures it out but spills the juices | 30:54 Josh talks about vagina smelling like fish | 39:30 Josh wipes his hands on his shirt | 44:51 Josh got a lottery ticket | 1:01:50 Josh cringes at his singing | Making Mac and Cheese 2016-06-21 26:00 Josh makes ranch and mac n cheese | 32:00 mac n cheese with ease | Cigar review and drink combinations 2016-06-21 0:15 Josh got his PayPal money so he bought tobacco and alcohol | 3:24 Josh recalls being in high school and turning 18 and bought some cigs, Josh's phone plays music in his pocket again | 4:14 Josh has finished his album and has uploaded it to tunecore | Deep frted goodness 2016-06-22 Josh makes deep fried avocados and has a booger out his nose. It's a classic I have a date with a girl coming up soon 2016-06-26 0:42 someone left a note on Josh's bike (a note from a 'girl' ) | 2:27 "nice bike" | 4:22 Josh says the coming Friday, Josh has a date coming up set up by Scotty | 5:29 It's Izzy, Tina's roommate | 6:44 Josh was excited when he found out, he took a few days off to 'reflect upon it' | 7:00 Scotty said she plays guitar, into music and has black hair and green eyes | 9:00 don't expect any sex on the first date | 9:20 Josh is at work on that day but that's fine | 10:18 Josh says he may have scored a date with a raven-haired-beauty | 10:40 Josh doesn't know what happened to Bailey | 11:25 they are going on a double date with Scotty and Tina | 12:41 fart Josh wants the date to go as smoothly as possible and talks about his clumsiness | 14:56 Josh talks about how he was working in Wendys he smashed his head on a doorknob | 15:44 Josh thinks his clumsiness is the reason why his hours are getting cut in work | 16:48 Scotty got him a date | 18:25 Josh says if he gets rejected on this date he will give up | 19:45 giving up on dating and sex | 22:15 Josh posted the update on Facebook and people asked him to film it | 23:38 Josh talks about a fishing/dating metaphor | 24:00 it wouldn't upset Josh if Izzy rejects him | 24:25 Josh's day was brightened up to learn the news of the date | 25:13 Scotty has been trying to be Josh's wingman | 26:20 Josh ran out of ideas for videos so he took time off | 28:00 Josh talks about how he will prepare for the date | 29:45 Josh is done with dating if he gets rejected | 32:00 Josh talks about giving off a good first impression | 33:18 fans on Facebook think Josh conjured this date | 36:00 Scotty hit Josh up and said he got him a date | 37:00 Josh thinks he has a good chance with Izzy because she plays guitar | 37:32 Josh is going to wear a muscle shirt to show off his big arms | 37:55 repeats himself about the date | 38:12 Tina and going to a date at the park | 44:00 Josh uses his magic powers to contact the dead to ask about the date | Haters won't stop me from getting better at guitar 2016-06-28 People on Facebook asked if Josh still identifies as goth and talks about eye liner and dying his hair | 1:30 people talk shit about his guitar playing, fuck em | 2:00 Wendys doesn't allow nail polish while working | 5:00 Josh had dinner with his dad at Charlie T's and his dad gave him a pack of smokes | 6:45 you can't tell Josh has trikateria, he hopes his hair looks good for his date | 7:00 Josh didn't win the lottery | 7:50 Josh reads a comment saying Josh's neighbours hate his guitar playing | 16:55 Josh thinks he has a better change of getting a girlfriend before he wins the lottery and mentions his date | 18:00 Josh discusses the double date with Scotty, Tina and Izzy and they are going to hang out at the park, commenters also make bets on the date not happening | Playing some guitar 2016-06-28 13:00 Josh puts on socks | 14:00 Josh talks about possibly taking Izzy back to his apartment to play guitar for her, he talks about if Izzy is better at guitar than him but Josh thinks it would be a turn on | 15:15 Josh talks about the plans for the date and hopes it goes well | 18:35 Josh will be clean for the date | 25:30 only a few days until the date, Josh is looking forward to it | food reviews 2016-06-28 Josh reviews Reeces puffs cereal | 8:06 Josh bet Josh $150 that the date won't happen, Josh begs to differ and he will get the last laugh | 9:38 believe it or not but Josh isn't sponsored by Reeces | 16:37 Josh laughs at the people betting on the date not happening | 23:44 Josh talks about having the farts on a first date | 24:19 Josh did cheap on Stephanie and having a good relationship | 28:24 If your can opener won't work then use a knife | 33:42 Josh wont cut himself with a knife | 34:48 Josh thinks eating beans is going to make his arms look big for his date on Friday | 35:53 even Josh doesn't think anyone will watch this video | 38:00 Josh can already feel his arms getting protein from eating cold beans | 40:00 Josh gets beans all over his shirt | 41:00 Josh's diet consists of 98% protein | 42:00 you can't argue with the results | 45:00 Josh gets drunk and talks about his date being on YouTube | 58:00 Josh isn't too drunk to cook | 59:00 people tell Josh to shower in the comments | Heterosexuality pride parade causes uproar on social media 2016-06-29 Josh saw a 'straight pride' thing on Facebook and people went nuts | Josh watches a TYT video | 19:24 Josh hates it when people throw white privilege in his face | Rest in Peace Scotty Moore guitarist for Elvis 2016-06-29 Josh makes a video about the guitarist for Elvis dying and gave birth to 'RIP Homeboy Scotty' | Terrorist attack 36 dead 2016-06-29 0:30 almost FOUR in the morning | Josh talks about the 2016 Atatürk Airport attack in Turkey | Vocal cover for You ant nothing but a hound dog by Elvis 2016-06-29 To pay his respects to Scotty Moore, Josh sings 'you ain't nothing but a hounddog' My homeboy Scottie did not die 2016-06-29 Josh braided his hair | 0:32 Homeboy Scotty did NOT die | 1:18 Sorry to hear about your homeboy! | 2:00 Scotty is a live and well, the double date is still on | 2:42 the stupidity is mind-boggling | 4:22 Josh posted a pic on Facebook of a mansion and people asked if it was his | 6:24 Josh knows they are trolling | 6:55 Josh has an awesome date coming up on Friday | 8:00 Josh is still goth | 20:20 someone call the fire department over his guitar playing | Learning guitar can be difficult sometimes 2016-06-29 Josh talks about learning guitar | 8:22 Josh talks about playing guitar would help during high school | Looking forwerd to my date 2016-06-30 Just pulls an all-nighter because he's looking forward to his date tomorrow with Izzy | 0:30 probably most definitely | 2:25 Josh's old shirt had sardine oil and one person told him to wear it to the date | 3:21 Josh has a sinking feeling that the date may go horribly | 3:55 Josh talks about Izzy | 5:00 Josh disabled comments on his old videos saying RIP Scotty | 6:00 Josh doesn't think Elvis is dead | 7:19 Josh says his phone is weird and sometimes doesn't go off when Scotty calls | 8:35 Josh has work at 11:30 - 2pm at Wendys and will come home and get changed for the date | 9:00 Josh talks about chat up lines | 9:45 Josh hopes work goes by fast | 10:49 Josh says he's not a ladies man | 11:00 Josh tells the Hey there Delila story | 12:00 Josh is nervous about the date | 13:18 Josh tells his fans not to worry if you don't see him for a while if he gets a girlfriend | 15:47 Josh tries keeping his personal life and YouTube life separate | 16:16 Josh doesn't like the idea of the date being cancelled | 17:00 Josh doesn't have sex on the first date | 19:27 there's a lot of what if's going on in his head | 22:20 Josh wont force Izzy to be in his videos | 22:38 Josh has people trolling him betting on the date getting cancelled | 23:00 Josh hasn't had a girl in months |

Spoiler: ARCHIVE Cobra Tails - Group Home

 

[wanddumpster]

Spoiler: Finally was able to catch a livestream

 

[Restream_Regard]

Newfag on this forum but here's the edited, condensed KCJFS IP2 appearance.

https://youtu.be/P1LxCr--S8w