Kiwi Farms Secret Santa 2019 - 8th Secret Santa, Assignments Start!

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José Mourinho

The Special One
True & Honest Fan
Even before Kiwi Farms and since the times where we discuss just mainly Chris, Secret Santa was a yearly tradition for the forum, and welcome to our 8th!

Rules are simple and same as previous ones:

(Copied from previous thread with very minor changes)

1. The gift must be something you made yourself.

It must be something you created, and something transferable via PM

  • Art you made
  • A photo
  • A story you wrote
  • A game you made
  • Music you wrote yourself
  • Any media you yourself have created.
  • Electronic Gift Cards
  • Purchased Digital Content
  • Any media you did not make yourself.
  • Anything purchased with cash.

Simply put, this is something from the heart and must be something that you did not pay for. This also includes anything purchasable that you received for free, so if you have an extra game key, that is still unacceptable. This must be something you made yourself.

2. The gift must be appropriate

Photoshop’s of shock images, such as goatse and 9/11 are never acceptable. Bobs and vagene are tho.

3. Please turn it in on time.

will last until December 7th. You will receive your assignment sometime that weekend. From there you have until December 24th to turn in your gift. If you cannot create your gift in time, you have until December 18th to drop out without punishment. If you fail to turn in a gift and do not give an explanation, you will not be allowed to participate in future Secret Santa events.

4. Sign up requirements.

In order to participate you must:
  • Be in good standing (As in, not a shit head)
  • Have not been banned from Previous Secret Santas.
EDIT: Forgot to mention about helpers. Would like to have around 5 helpers for this Secret Santa, which involves assuring whether the gifts are handed in on time. Let me know if you want to be one!

I will also be asking for people to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000. If you have been here before, you know the drill. I need people to make back up gifts in case a Santa is unable to deliver a gift, so if you are willing to do an emergency gift, let me know.

To sign up, just post in this thread with the following:
  • Name (Your account name of course)
  • Likes
  • Dislikes
  • Fun Fact About You
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?
  1. @MerriedxReldnahc
  2. @NOT Sword Fighter Super
  3. @ProgKing of the North

* indicates being a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000
  1. @Jaded Optimist
  2. @Senor Cardgage Mortgage
  3. @NOT Sword Fighter Super *
  4. @HeyItsHarveyMacClout
  5. @Scratch This Nut
  6. @wrangled tard
  7. @Kari Kamiya
  8. @slimes *
  9. @MerriedxReldnahc *
  10. @MemeGray
  11. @mr.moon1488
  12. @UnKillFill
  13. @weedsneaker13
  14. @MysticMisty
  15. @Coelacanth
  16. @Rick Pratt
  17. @PumpkinSpiceBitchMeringue *
  18. @Sundae *
  19. @I Love Beef
  20. @Fougaro
  21. @Memeanon
  22. @snailslime
  23. @Oban Kamz
  24. @saralovesjuicyfruit
  25. @DontDoxThanks
  26. @betterbullocks
  27. @Kaiser Wilhelm's Ghost *
  28. @YourMommasBackstory *
  29. @Jewelsmakerguy *
  30. @_blank_ *
  31. @TheImportantFart
  32. @Sofonda Cox *
  33. @ChurchOfGodBear
  34. @'tism take the wheel
  35. @Get_your_kicks_with_30-06
  36. @Oscar Wildean
  37. @skiddlez
  38. @PsychoNerd054
  39. @Samoyed
  40. @diana *
  41. @Haunter *
  42. @FixinShibe
  43. @Spearfished Sardines
  44. @Cantaloupine *
  45. @PururinSenpai
  46. @Fandom Trash
  47. @Monika H. *
  48. @Rotogravure
  49. @Overly Serious
  50. @The Jokester
  51. @Trusty Patches *
  52. @Y2K Baby *
  53. @Kurosaki Ichigo
  54. @Chan Fan
  55. @Farmer Dave
  56. @ProgKing of the North
  57. @The 8 of Spades
  58. @ATaxingWoman
  59. @Pissmaster General
  60. @Haramburger
  61. @Pickelhaube
  62. @The Last Stand
  63. @Mao Hao Hao
  64. @Autisimodo
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Jaded Optimist

Me love you long time
True & Honest Fan
  • Name: Jaded Optimist

  • Likes: Cute animals, Elder Scrolls: Morrowind, lady yelling at cat memes, thunder storms, cooking unusual cuts of meat, resin casting, mycology, blackpowder firearms

  • Dislikes: The fact that avacodos aren't crazy expensive but every place still charges a ton to add guacamole, Trudeau, the new Star Fars films, tomatoes.

  • Fun Fact About You: I kind of regret changing my user name after the great leak of 2019

  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? Nope

NOT Sword Fighter Super

"Cheerleeder" of Slapfights
True & Honest Fan
Name: NOT Sword Fighter Super

Likes: Old 8/16 bit pixel art. Weird/crazy people. Fuck, I don't know what else to put here.

Dislikes: Fake people (again, I don't know what to put on these fucking things)

Fun Fact: I can down an Irish carbomb so fast it defies logic

X-Mas Spirit Bot 9000: yes. I did it last year and it was cool.


We also got cake
  • Name: HeyItsHarveyMacClout (Harvey MacClout)
  • Likes: History, war, Chris, Paradox Interactive, beer
  • Dislikes: Furries
  • Fun Fact About You: One time back in high school I was specifically sought out by the head of our Model UN club to represent our school in the Historical Unification of Germany committee, despite never having done MU before, because I was apparently famous for knowing a fuck ton about industrial Europe/Germany
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: No
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Scratch This Nut

Problematic Chihuahua
Name: Scratch This Nut

Likes: Pokémon, unicorns, coatis, Disney movies, A24 horror movies, Studio Ghibli, Animal Crossing, Black Mirror, Neil Gaiman, porgs (fite me irl)
Dislikes: Politics, white men, Solo: A Star Wars Story, being stabbed
Fun Fact About You: I have been parasailing in the Dominican Republic. Also I’ve been to Mexico twice.
Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? Never
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wrangled tard

Types in full sentences, for some reason.
  • Name (Your account name of course): wrangled tard
  • Likes: Fallout, VtM, Dark Souls, Pathologic, cute animals, not cute animals, insects, arachnids.
  • Dislikes: Fallout 76, VtM V5, Dark Souls 2. I agree with Sword Fighter, I don't know what else to put here.
  • Fun Fact About You: I hate fun and I hate facts.
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: No.

Kari Kamiya

"I beat her up, so I gave her a cuck-cup."
True & Honest Fan
Name: @Kari Kamiya
Likes: Chinese cartoons, of course (Weeb Wars AOTY); laughing at dumb shit like the Game Freak meltdown this year; reading; "lul randem XD" 'cause I'm still immature
Dislikes: Gross weeb shit and that modern anime is just... painfully medicore; college students and everything they do; that my cat yowls for treats so early in the morning
Fun Fact About Me: I like going on long walks when I should be more productive elsewhere.
Can you be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: Can't, sorry.


lava lamp of secrets
True & Honest Fan
  • Name: slimes
  • Likes: tentacle art (I mean yeah hentai but also just eldritch aesthetics), funfacts, D&D, science fantasy, 80s/90s schlock anime
  • Dislikes: new animes, spiders, ugly art, uwu kawaii moe shit
  • Fun Fact About You: I once had to teach a class on the history of tentacles in hentai. It was a trip.
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? I can do 5 bot santas


World's Okay-est Proctologist
True & Honest Fan
Name: MerriedxReldnahc

Likes: Animals, heavy metal (both the music and the magazine), Frazetta-esque fantasy art, aliens and monsters and shit, skateboarding.

Dislikes: Not being able to open carry a battleaxe in my state.

Fun Fact About You: I own around 20 animal skulls.

Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?:
I might be able to, I will certaintly make the time if called upon.

I forgot to mention that I would like some helpers to help out for the Secret Santa, which involves assuring whether the gifts are handed in on time. Let me know if you want to be one!

Those who were helpers at previous Secret Santas as well as staff members get higher priority! Would like to get around 5 too.
I would like to help out!


I'm blue. Dabba dee, dabba die.
  • Name - UnKillFill
  • Likes - The obvious from my name, the 90's, and.. (to a slightly lesser extent) the 80's- both in general, Batman, capeshit from either of those decades, sci-fi, anything anti-PC, dumb jokes.
  • Dislikes - SJWs, political correctness, stupid people, politics.
  • Fun Fact About You - I can't stand Will Smith these days.
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? No, but maybe next year.


Vroomer gang
True & Honest Fan
  • Name: weedsneaker13
  • Likes:landscapes, beautiful scenery , laughing at exceptional individuals
  • Dislikes:weebs, anime, attention whores, people who use the buzzwords like racist, nazi, fascist, antisemite, islamophobe, homophobe
  • Fun Fact About You: I can't stand ads that appeared in the most interesting moments on TV and YT videos.
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? No

Name: MysticMisty

Likes: Cats, Dragonball Z, DuckTales, Pokemon, The Sims, Animal Crossing, volcanoes, Chrono Trigger, Christmas, tropical locations, turkey, the Mario series

Dislikes: A Christmas Story, ham, pit bulls, centipedes

Fun Fact About Me: I don't mind the extreme heat of Arizona's summers

Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000: No, sorry
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Your local living fossil.
Name: Coelacanth
Likes: Pokemon, coelacanths, the Earthbound/MOTHER games, Terraria, Metal Sonic and E-102 Gamma, isopods, the works of Junji Ito, pixel art, Gorefield, Touhou, Clock Tower, Ao Oni, the works of LumpyTouch and Silent Hill.
Dislikes: SJWs shitting up my favourite franchises to make them more "progressive", Jacob Sockness, Undertale and kids raised in the UK who're so badly behaved that they make CWC look like a saint.
Fun Fact About Me: I'm hypermobile and can bend my fingers in unusual ways.
Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: Not this year I'm afraid. :(

Rick Pratt

Whiny twat
  • Name: Rick Pratt
  • Likes: Classic Rock, Cats, Rocky Horror, Cartoons, Drawing, Writing and British comedies
  • Dislikes: Channel Awesome, Carrots, and Piers Morgan
  • Fun Fact About You: I'm just signing up for this because I like making art for people
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: no thanks
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