Kiwi Farms Secret Santa 2019 - 8th Secret Santa, Assignments Start!

  • Ongoing DDoS attack.


Ruler of your basic bitch ass.
True & Honest Fan
Jun 20, 2018
Well it wouldn't hurt giving it another go.
I hope I don't screw it up.

  • Name: PumpkinSpiceBitchMerengue
  • Likes: Cats, stars and nebulas, carnivals, hipster shit: antiques, holidays, Moby, JJBA
  • Dislikes: Big Meanies >:[, "urban music" and death punk, edgy shit: Coldsteel, anything #woke, modern art, people who doubt Epstein didn't kill himself
  • Fun Fact About You: When I was a kid, a celebrity was playing basketball at a friend's house and he accidentally crashed into me. It was my fault, I was in the way.
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: I'm conflicted on this, but I do want to lend a hand in any way.

Jaded Optimist

Me Love You Long Time
True & Honest Fan
Mar 4, 2015
about time too if you me some xmas art just pr like all ways with what me to draws
Jenffer you were my secret Santa one year, I've never been more lucky


Little Drumer Clown Dog
Aug 5, 2018
  • Name: Sundae
  • Likes: Aesthetic memes (includes vaporwave music), surf rock, electro swing, the tropics, Godzilla/Kaiju films, the Moai statues of Easter Island, awesome military craft (tanks, planes, etc.), TMNT, Ghostbusters, Garfield, 80s music
  • Dislikes: communism, animal cruelty
  • Fun Facts About You: I'm currently working on multiple novels I hope to publish one day (if I could just get past my damn writer's block), as well as a few game ideas
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: nope (edit) ah what the hell, I'll give it a shot
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I Love Beef

Mar 16, 2019
Hey everybody, how are you all doing?

Name: I Love Beef

Likes: The anime & manga art style, art in general, BEEFU, video games, martial arts, self improvement, Japanese culture, Classic 1990s &1980s Americana, writing stories and drawing comics, sake, hot and good women who like wearing white boots and are proud of their femininity, sunny skies, justice and fairness

Dislikes: Assholes, beligerence, hypocrisy, disrespectful people, mosquitos

Fun Fact about me: I am an expert wasp killer, and I've been around the net since 1998

Secret Santa Bot 9000?: Too drunk right now, but sounds good, will let you know before the deadline


Glow in the dark K/DA Popstar
Jul 25, 2016
It was fun the last time.

Name: Fougaro

Likes: Barry White, Velvet Crowe from Tales of Berseria, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, weebshit in general, 80s glam metal, stuff that glows in the dark

Dislikes: People who enable shitty behaviour, the current school system and other such forms of child abuse

Fun Fact about me: I have a terrible sense of orientation

Secret Santa Bot 9000?: Not this time.
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Here for the drama
Jul 28, 2019
Name: DontDoxThanks
Likes: League of Legends, Fallout/Skyrim uhhh, Hitman, literally any music at all. Gw2, Animals, like all of them. I am a very liking person, chances are I'd 99.99% love what you made :-) (I'm actually less exceptional in real life, I promise)

Dislikes: ... Rude customers? I guess? Scally kids?

Fun fact: .... .... .... I never know when to finish a project so if your secret Santa is late... It's me sorry mate

Xmas spirit bot - I wish, if you let me know I'll see what I can do but I can't promise anything


deep anal and cool ranch doritos, shes got it all
Apr 23, 2019
  • Name: betterbullocks
  • Likes: Lofi and aesthetic shit, Roman history, cyberpunk, bossa nova, stand up, retro vidya, comfy anime, trippy artwork, STEM related things, philosophy, nature, knives, cherry red 1984 c4 corvettes with chrome rims and fuzzy dice
  • Dislikes: Probably anything sexual from someone here, furries included
  • Fun Fact About You: I've played piano for roughly 11 years and I'm still mediocre but this my only creative outlet so expect music
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? Probably not

Kaiser Wilhelm's Ghost
Nov 12, 2018
  • Name: Kaiser Wilhelm's Ghost
  • Likes: History, painting, drawing, writing, sci-fi and fiction, most art pre-post modernist, absurdist humor, and observing the inanities of spergs, gardening.
  • Dislikes: Commies, Neon Nazi's, Puritanical types and SJW's and generally ignorant or low intelligence people. Also aspects of nerd culture
  • Fun Fact About You: I've owned and smoked pipes for a number of years. I prefer Cavendish tobacco's for smell, but also really love English blends and Orientals for flavor. That said I actually don't enjoy cigarettes.
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? Yes. It will be remarkably low effort, but yes.


Gosh, I hope I’m safe it this suit!
May 29, 2018
  • Name: yourmommasbackstory
  • Likes: cute things, good food, art, dogs (PUGS), retrowave, tasty rum, hot cocoa, soulse-born soundtracs, rythm games.
  • Dislikes: twitter, pumkins, warm weather.
  • Fun Fact About You: I actually know that your mom is a decent and kind woman, kiwi.
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? Ye, why not.


Domo Arigato
Oct 1, 2013
Copypasta'd from the 2018 thread:

Name @Jewelsmakerguy
Likes: Animation and art, cars, 80s music, robots, stupid and odd media.
Dislikes: Stupid people, SJWs, reality shows (the Survivor/Amazing Race ones, not the enjoyably dumb TruTV ones), green peppers, 2010s music.
Fun Fact: Been wanting to get into a creative occupation like carpentry.
X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000: I'm getting a new drawing tablet in a few days, so definitely yes.
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The Charles Dickens of Disco
True & Honest Fan
May 25, 2013
It's the reason for the season!

Name @_blank_ . Pronouns are Blank, Blank, and BeByeBickyByeBickyByeBoBlank

Likes: Sleep, Caffeine-infused Sleep, Blackout Sleep, Edgy Chicks With Eyes Like Lazers and Wayy Too Many Tattoos, Caffeine, Unnecessary Capitalization, Clutch, Electric Six, Sturgill Simpson, Swearing, Jesus, and Caffeine.

Dislikes: Forced Happiness, The Force, Fandoms, Fing Fang Foom, the word "Floppy." The Woke, The Broke, and the Perpetually Offended. Disney and everything the Rat has stuck its fetid cock into. Also Grandpa Ronnie said drugs are bad, so no drugs - Just hugs and ultraviolence for me!

Fun Fact: I share the same birthday as Matthew McConaughey, and Adriana Chechik, which is interesting because I too sound like I'm constantly having a stroke and I'm constantly getting fucked over.

X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000: Hit me up Santa, you sassy bitch (that's a yes).

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