Kiwi Farms Secret Santa 2019 - 8th Secret Santa, Assignments Start!

  • Ongoing DDoS attack.


Breakin' Wind
True & Honest Fan
Aug 9, 2014
Name: TheImportantFart

Likes: Star Wars, creepypastas, guitar, R.E.M, Pixies (the band, not the mythical creatures), Genesis (again, the band, not the bible book), that Killstream where Sargon tries and fails to pitch GamerGate 2.0, Pokemon, RedLetterMedia, Doctor Who, bears, rabbits.

Dislikes: Skeptic community/IDW fanboys, unironic commies/alt-righters, BreadTube, the UK Lib Dems and Labour Party (Tories ain’t much better, but the enemy of my enemies and all that), people who sperg about “muh culture war” and huff their own farts (so essentially everyone I mentioned above), horror and slasher films, heights, spiders.

Fun Fact About Me: I have climbed over the Millennium Dome.

Can you be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: Unlucky again I’m afraid.

Sofonda Cox

True & Honest Fan
Jun 20, 2018
  • Name Sofonda Cox
  • Likes: doom, gloom, a tidy tomb
  • Dislikes: smiles, children, artificial heat, dairy, medical equipment, advertisements, rainbows, beaches, the sea and everything in it, cinnamon, Irish people and Ireland itself, menstruating, mud, Springtime, bare feet, moles (on the human body, not the poor little critters), retards, saliva, repetitive noises, exercise of any kind, two-piece pajamas, the user above me, the user below me, Florida, mysterious odors with well- hidden sources, the vast majority of living authors, musicians and actors.
  • Fun Fact: I was charged by a bull shark, and richly deserved it.
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? Sure, provided my responsibilities are very clearly defined.


He's just this guy, you know?
True & Honest Fan
Feb 3, 2013
Name: ChurchOfGodBear

Likes: 80s comics, chicken wings, boobs, barbecue, science fiction

Dislikes: most social media trends, mainstream media news, Cole Smithey, arguing about smartphones

Fun Fact About You: people are surprised when I curse, but I do it all the fucking time.

Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? Not this year, sorry.

'tism take the wheel
Nov 27, 2019
Name: 'tism take the wheel

Likes: 90's Edward Furlong (before he got fat and started hitting his girlfriends), Sword Art Online (fuck you, I thought it was good), Final Fantasy, umm...making fun of Amberlynn

Dislikes: eh I'm not a tight-ass. Whatever...

Fun Fact About Me: Je parle un français un petit peu...J'ai etude pour sept ans, mais mon accent est tres horrible...

Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000: ? Still not completely sure what that entails...NewFag Here Sorry...


I have become Based, the destroyer of Libs
Aug 21, 2019
Name: Get_your_kicks_with_30-06

Likes: Guns, History, Historical guns, Various forms of metal (death, thrash, some progressive metal), Fallouts 1-NV (Especially New Vegas), Mechanical systems, The US of A, cheap cigars from the gas station, dark humor, big tits

Dislikes: Anime, Pretentious shit, gay shit, annoying people, card reading door locks, when your contact gets a very tiny tear in it, stoner culture, slow people (as in not fast not retardation well...), cars that have LED headlights, most sports

Fun Fact: I own an M1 Garand so yeah I can PING whenever I want jealous?

Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: Nah

Dolphin Lundgren

Picking blueberries with Henry Fonda.
True & Honest Fan
Nov 15, 2017
  • Name: Oscar Wildean
  • Likes: British shows, Edwardian and Victorian related things, Titanic, Elephants, Impressionist art, Dylan Moran.
  • Dislikes: Complainers, reboots, people who only talk about politics, modern art
  • Fun Fact: I love the rain.
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? Sorry, no.


True & Honest Fan
Dec 28, 2017
likes: sunshine, lollipops, rainbows and everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together, stalker shadow of chernobyl (and other stalker games), doom (all doom games), hotline miami, dark souls (1), medieval stuff, frogs, toast with strawberry jelly, pizza, retro stuff, drag racing, and ass

dislikes: bad news, bees

fun fact: I don't need a gift so if you get me you can just whip up whatever you want really

spirit bot: nah


Done by a thug.
True & Honest Fan
Aug 1, 2017
Name: @PsychoNerd054
Likes: Mathematics, Physics, Bizarre Sonic Avatars, the 1990's, some of the 1980's, Guacamole, Chips and Dips
Dislikes: Tomatoes, Weeb Shit, Almost anything Disney, dumb internet trends
Fun Fact: I don't love myself enough to think of trivia for myself.
X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: Maybe, I'll be readily available if needed.


lol im god
True & Honest Fan
Sep 23, 2018
  • Name: Samoyed
  • Likes: Doggies, Kitties, Salad, Suns and moons, Snow and Bumblebees
  • Dislikes: Scary stuff, taco bell, sad people and chocolate.
  • Fun Fact About You: I am a god.
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: No because this is my first year doing this.


smells of YSL and sadness
True & Honest Fan
Nov 28, 2017
@José Mourinho I notice the participation so far is kind of lacking, is null not going to advertise this year's secret santa on the front page like before?

Name: @diana
Likes: League of Legends, animal crossing, flowers, my dog, and witches.
Dislikes: Shitty presents
Fun fact about you: I call my dog the Goblin Girl.
X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: Like always, I'm available to do as many makeup presents as I have time for.
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Retired Staff
True & Honest Fan
Feb 22, 2018
  • Name: @Haunter
  • Likes: 20th Century Philosophy, Russia and the Slavs, Jungle, early Drum & Bass, early Dubstep, Team Fortress 2, joining in on dum shit, drawing and cartoons, espresso.
  • Dislikes: Humourless people, being tired, contemporary cultural trends like Furries, "Nerds", and reboots.
  • Fun Fact: I've read everything by J. G. Ballard.
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? Eh, sure.


place2b clubbin'
May 11, 2018
Name: FixinShibe
Likes: Automotive, Retail, Technology, Emulation, Art, Radio, Design from the 80s and 90s, Vaporwave, and City Pop
Dislikes: Forced Relationships, People who Lie, Minimalism, Modern Design and Online Shopping
Fun Fact: I’ve got an Emulator up and running of Initial D Arcade Stage 8 recently
Able to be a Spirit Bot? No

Spearfished Sardines
Dec 3, 2019
Name: Spearfished Sardines

Likes: Visiting new places, Pokemon, Animal Crossing, cats, history, photography, old Sims games, collecting postcards
Dislikes: People who yell on the bus, people who yell at others for shit that's not their fault, oranges, lemons
Fun fact: I played the oboe when I was in school, and to this day I wish I never had to quit.
Able to be a Spirit Bot: Not this time, maybe next time though.


soy boy toy
True & Honest Fan
Feb 11, 2017
Best time of year, count me in!

Name: Cantaloupine
Likes: MHA, Pokémon, Warcraft, Fire Emblem 3 Houses, puppies, moths.
Dislikes: Not much! Aside from furries.
Fun fact: I have absolutely no musical talent and I would trade my art skills for it if I could.
Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: Absolutely! The more the merrier!

Purin Chan

[False & Lying Fan]
Jun 30, 2019
Name: PururinSenpai
Likes: Anime (FLCL, Evangelion, Monogatari Series, Cardcaptor Sakura, Nichijou) (embarrassing, I know), Drawing, Cartoons, Vidya (RPGs & Visual Novels), Shitposting, Cartoon/Anime porn :^).
Dislikes: Twitter troons and generally obnoxious people.
Fun Fact About You: I'm double jointed in my left thumb and can bend it all the way back.
Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: I'm extremely new to this so for the time being, no.

Fandom Trash

Out of the dumpster truck and into the garbage can
Jan 2, 2017
Ya!! I get to do this again!!

  • Name - FandomTrash
  • Likes -- My Hero Academia, Persona 5, Art, Cats, and Anime
  • Dislikes -- Not much
  • Fun Fact About You -- I Love to draw silly cartoons
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? -- Sorry, can't!

Can't wait for this!

Monika H.

Your friendly neighborhood gravedigger
True & Honest Fan
Jan 12, 2018
What the heck, I'm giving it a shot.
  • Name - Monika H.
  • Likes -- Reading, writing, good movies and food, evening walks; German, Russian, Italian, Czech and British national histories
  • Dislikes -- Vulgarity outside context
  • Fun Fact About You -- Actually a nice, not racist gal IRL, I got an awful lot of Monikas in my life
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? -- Ja, I'll give it a shot.


Feb 19, 2017
  • Name -Rotogravure
  • Likes -- History. Biographies, Light Historical Fiction, MMOs, English Humor, Cattes und Dogges.
  • Dislikes -- Dumb people, Anchovies, Braunsweiger
  • Fun Fact About You -- I am writing a BA thesis on a local historical house and the historical house museum industry.
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? -- Sorry, no.

Overly Serious
Oct 20, 2019
  • Name: Overly Serious
  • Likes: Sexy women, insightful politics, the music video to Dracula's Tango by Toto Coelo, Capitalism and The Venture Bros.
  • Dislikes: War, Identity Politics, Reddit
  • Fun Fact About You: Once boarded a moving train James Bond style because I thought it would be cool and I was too stupid in my twenties to think I could die.
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: I don't tknow what this is because I didn't bother to properly read the opening post but it sounds like a mobile vending machine that only dispenses egg nogg. So no.

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