Kiwi Farms Tenth Annual Secret Santa - Posted on the 10th of November

The Last Stand

RIP Betty White (1922-2021)
True & Honest Fan
Aug 17, 2018
Hello, everybody! Hope everybody is having a wonderful 2021! If you don’t know me, I’m your friendly neighborhood old Hollywood loving Oreo, @The Last Stand! Having been a participant in the last two Secret Santas, this year, I proudly bestow myself as host for Kiwi Farms’ TENTH annual Secret Santa extravaganza!


Rules for this Secret Santa are the same as before but with minor changes. Thread subject to change over time.

1. The gift must be something you made yourself.

It must be something you created, and something transferable via PM

  • Art you made
  • A photo
  • A story you wrote
  • A game you made
  • Music you wrote yourself
  • Any media you yourself have created.
  • Electronic Gift Cards
  • Purchased Digital Content
  • Any media you did not make yourself.
  • Anything purchased with cash.

Simply put, this is something from the heart and must be something that you did not pay for. This also includes anything purchasable that you received for free, so if you have an extra game key, that is still unacceptable. This must be something you made yourself.

2. The gift must be appropriate

Photoshop’s of shock images, such as goatse and 9/11 are never acceptable. Try to keep your creativity SFW.

3. Please turn it in on time.

Sign-ups will last until December 7th. You will receive your assignment within the next few days. From there you have until December 24th to turn in your gift. If you cannot create your gift in time, you have until December 18th to drop out without punishment.

4. Sign up requirements.

In order to participate you must:
Be in good standing (As in, not a shit head)
Have not been banned from Previous Secret Santas.

Any Helpers and X-MAS Spirit Bots 9000 would be greatly appreciated this run as always! Please DM me for any volunteers or concerns!

Xmas Bot: I can do one extra!

if you don’t know what Xmas bot is: it’s being willing to do more than one secret santa in case people drop out

Thanks @slimes for the Xmas Spirit Bots 9000 explanation.

To sign up, just post in this thread with the following:
  • Name (Your account name of course)
  • Likes
  • Dislikes
  • Fun Fact About You
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?
Here's my entry:

@The Last Stand
Likes: Old Hollywood actresses (i.e. Joan Crawford, Norma Shearer, Bette Davis), V8 Energy, GTA memes, lemonade
Dislikes: Faye Dunaway, forced politics, racism
Fun Fact: I have a bar of beer soap as a novelty item.
Able to be a X-MAS Spirit Bot? I'm running this shindig, so probably not.

Secret Santa sign-ups are closed. Your Secret Santa will be given within a few days via PMs.
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Your local living [[BIG SHOT!!!!!]]
Sep 29, 2018
Name: @Coelacanth
Likes: Coelacanths, Mosquito Man from Frankenstein's Army, the Earthbound/Mother games, Metal Sonic, Dwarf Fortress, Silent Hill, Gigan, gemstones, ev3ry buddy's favourite [[Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]] Spamton G. Spamton.
Dislikes: SJWs, Friday Night Funkin', troons, politics in my entertainment, stan culture.
Fun Fact About You: Ironically I suffer from submechanophobia and will refuse to enter the sea.
Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: Not this year, sorry! :(

Chicken Picnic

We saved you the last boiled egg!
True & Honest Fan
Apr 8, 2018
@Chicken Picnic
Likes: Music (heavy metal, especially metalcore, rock and anything with a good riff), the entire Phoenix Wright series, art (illustrative, none of that ""modern"" fine art), japanese comedy shows, world culture (legit love meeting people from different places and letting them tell me about how shit their country is)
Dislikes: Identity politics in media, pimple popping videos, most american comedians (sorry, not sorry), tiktok
Fun Fact: I can play the flute, but havent done so for around 15 years
Able to be a X-MAS Spirit Bot? sure

Gone Ham

Romeo oh Romeo, why won't you preform cunnalingus
True & Honest Fan
Feb 4, 2021
Gone Ham
Likes: Jack Nicholson. Make it something about Jack Nicholson or something idk
Dislikes: How loose your moms pussy is, Trannys
Fun fact: I hate my life
No I won’t do a second one
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I just want to throw a pie at a yeti
Jun 6, 2021
Sounds fun. I am in!

Likes: Old 35mm film cameras, Visual Novels, Baseball, Obsolete Technology, Pepsi and Vintage models in old photos.
Dislikes: Soccer, Reggaeton, Colour Red.
Fun Fact: I backed the Ouya on day one and never got my unit.
Able to be a X-MAS Spirit Bot?: I have no idea how that works, so no. Maybe next year. @The Last Stand, now that I know what this is, I think I can do one more.
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Mealy Mouth Spittle

True & Honest Fan
Jan 4, 2021
  • Name: Mealy Mouth Spittle
  • Likes: Animals (not in a furry or white girl way), music (except Rap), cheesy k-dramas, Christmas, arts & crafts, baking, pina coladas, getting caught in the rain
  • Dislikes: troons, furries, Rap music, people who list/announce their pronouns, landwhales, pedos
  • Fun Fact About You: My guilty pleasure is conspiracy theories. I actually believe some of them.
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? Since this is my first year participating, I'm going to say no.


lava lamp of secrets
True & Honest Fan
May 12, 2018
Name: Slimes

Likes: old pixel art jrpgs (think like Star Ocean 2 or Lunar), cats, cyberpunk aesthetic ala the old tabletop, mecha, pastel and hot pink

Dislikes: people with poor makeup skills who refuse critique, shitty fashion trends, most FPS games, romcoms

Fun Fact: I have a soft spot for early 2000s jrock/jpop.

Xmas Bot: I can do one extra!

if you don’t know what Xmas bot is: it’s being willing to do more than one secret santa in case people drop out


боже я хочу умереть
True & Honest Fan
Sep 25, 2020
Name: @Celestine
Likes: cats, reality tv, diners/coffee shops, cute things, classic horror movies, camp
Dislikes: troons, mushrooms
Fun fact: I've never watched any of the Lord of the Rings movies
XMAS BOT 9000: Maybe? Depending on what that entails I only have enough creativity for one person but :semperfidelis: to all are artists.
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"fuck you, you fake satanic jew."
Sep 10, 2020
Name: catmannjew
Likes: most art. Painting, music (no metal), and movies. Especially a bad movie with amazing shots. basic bitch indie aesthetics. Cats, kiwi, records, and old puzzle games
Dislikes: metal
Fun Fact About You: I really have a soft spot for magic (not the card came)
Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: Yes


Null thought I was British, lol
Aug 25, 2019
Name: @naaaaiiiiillllll!!!

Likes: Art with intense/moody atmosphere/feels (Dali surreal shit, if connecting to a feeling/landscape is baus), hard scifi, based history, uncomfortable truths/facts (NOT IFLS shit), conspiracy theories that are reasonable (lol — love you Ted), mythology/theology/occultism (answers from the great beyond!), YouTube Poops, old YTMNDs, dad rock, butt rock, Elton John, Billy Joel, and old Stephen Fry.

Dislikes: identity politics, worship of victimization, authoritarianism, elitism, celery, picky eaters (fuck them), and people who litter.

Fun Fact About You: IRL cyborg (Type 1 Diabetic with insulin pump — yes I’m ready for the ignorant jokes, lol)

Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?: Idunno man, I’m just here to drink and smoke, lol (so no I guess). Is it like ShitPostBot 9000?
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Dumb Bitch Smoothie

Weeb Wars' "Remote Assistance" Team Leader
Aug 5, 2019
  • Name - Dumb Bitch Smoothie
  • Likes - Vintage weeb shit namely Leiji Matsumoto works, vidya gaming, cooking, things that make most of us degenerates laugh, fiction, sci-fi, Star Wars (not that Disney shit, the old school EU stuff), useless information that I can use to get people to stop talking to me if I start talking about that subject.
  • Dislikes - Anything championed by liberal white women, NFTs, people who cheat in PVP...I dunno. Not a lot makes me mad.
  • Fun Fact About You - oh fuck nothing's fun about me. Anyway, I had 400+ hrs of community service in my senior year of high school.
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? - I mean I'm no Mariah Carey if that's what you're asking.
Edit: I now know what XMAS spirit bot is, I can definitely do multiple.

Cowboy Cat

Feb 14, 2021
  • Name - Cowboy Cat
  • Likes - Cats and westerns evidently, furry shit, psychedelic aesthetics, Berserk, Fallout, horror movies
  • Dislikes - Animal cruelty, dairy products bc I'm lactose intolerant, Disney, crypto bro types, I don't fuckin know
  • Fun Fact About You - The first game system I ever played as a kid was an Atari 2600
  • Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? I can maybe do one additional thing if needed but not more than that!

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