Kiwi Farms Tenth Annual Secret Santa - Posted on the 10th of November

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MerriedxReldnahc

International Man of Pancakes
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 10, 2013
Merry Christmas, frends! 🎅
I'm going to send out gifts sometime today, I'm gathering what people sent me right now and will send out the gifts once I get free time. Otherwise I'd have my laptop out at my grandma's kitchen table saving weird images on my hard drive.
 
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Mealy Mouth Spittle

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Joined
Jan 4, 2021
Mine is finished and turned in. I would just like to say that if you get a crappy present (mine), please remember that it is the thought that counts. I had a good time trying to create something for my person and I hope they like it, but they need to have lowered expectations for that to happen, lol. Merry Christmas everyone!
 

Shidoen

..-. .-. . . / ... -. .- .. .-.. ... .-.. .. -- .
True & Honest Fan
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Joined
Oct 20, 2021
Sing Silent Night or there will only be silence in this thread.
 

Dolphin Lundgren

Picking blueberries with Henry Fonda.
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Joined
Nov 15, 2017
Mine is finished and turned in. I would just like to say that if you get a crappy present (mine), please remember that it is the thought that counts. I had a good time trying to create something for my person and I hope they like it, but they need to have lowered expectations for that to happen, lol. Merry Christmas everyone!

Same for mine tbh, only because I've been writing a lot of chapters for a project and had limited time to make something.
 

Vlinny-kun

✧*。...waiting for some beautiful boy... ✧*。
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Joined
Dec 20, 2018
I'll try to get mine done before midnight tonight. Even with the extension, I feel like my Christmas gift to be given on Christmas. It's just something about that makes me feel lazy otherwise. Please, this isn't me saying that my gift should also be done by tonight if you're doing mine.

Edit: Too wasted to finish lmao. Tomorrow for sure.
 
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Conan O'Barbarian

Late night talk show conquerer
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 21, 2020
Thank you for the extra time, I've definitely needed it. But still working and I hope to finish either tonight or tomorrow night. Wish I could have finished before Christmas, but life is like that.
 

The Last Stand

Glamorous Summertime
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Joined
Aug 17, 2018
Jannnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyy where’s the thread? :)
 

Apis mellifera

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Aug 23, 2020
Terribly sorry extremely ill with the african gut parasite or whatever i have, gonna have to drop out. so sorry about leaving it until the last minute, if you happen to be my secret santa feel no obligation to do my gift. much love from me and the missus ❤
 

Frank D'arbo

Got a... strange magic...
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 30, 2018
So I got @Agran and he was banned at the very past minute so I'm posting my gift to him here

One fucked up morning after a night of ketamine abuse, Agran woke up in the middle of an alley in the city of San Francisco. "Man, I hate San Francisco" he said to himself. "Nothing but niggers, faggots, and kikes"
Next to him was an old man's body with a magical handgun that had unlimited bullets, and so much meth that it could kill an entire orphanage. "OH HOLY SHIT." he exclaimed, "THIS IS GONNA BE ONE HELL OF A FRIDAY NIGHT"
After he abused all the meth, he ripped off his clothes, took the handgun, went screaming out of the alley "FUCK JANNIES AND FUCK NIGGERS"
He shot all the people he could see: vegan strippers, hipsters, Japs and Gooks, even babies, but only the ones that were mutts. For every person he killed, his penis got a bit erect.
"JESUS FUCK I LOVE METH" He shouted. Then, out of one of the buildings, came a mysterious looking man with a business suit on, who also had a magical gun.
"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE THAT" Agran screamed to the mysterious looking man. "I'm a man of, let's just say, wealth and taste." said mysterious man replied back.
"NIGGER SPEAK ENGLISH" Agran said in a drug fueled rush. "They call me the Anti Christ, I'm here to look for the second magical gun so I can fufil my destiny as ruler of this god forsaken planet"
As soon as Agran heard the antichrist finished his sentence, he shot him in the head, put his balls on his face, teabagged him screaming "I HATE THE ANTICHRIST, I HATE THE ANTICHRIST. FUCK THE ANTICHRIST"
Agran turned the body over, and starting raping the lifeless corpse of the antichrist. "I HATE THE ANTICHRIST, I HATE THE ANTICHRIST, I HATE THE ANTICHRIST." he repeatedly screamed as he raped the body.
For each time he said that, the thrusts were harder and harder. After about 20 minutes of epic thrusting, he had finally came so much that it looked like a tsunami had come into San Francisco, except instead of water, it was nothing but semen.
"WOOOOOOOOOO"
In the distance of the semen tsunami, was an 50 year old jew just about to exit a synagouge. As he leaves the building, he notices the semen tsunami and screams "OY FUCKING VEY" as Agran screamed with delight.
All the jews died drowning in semen that day. RIP.
Immeadiately after the tsunami, he had landed near the golden gate bridge.
"GODDAMN THAT'S SOME GOOD SHIT." he screamed. He noticed the second Gun dangling across the bridge. He took the gun and he felt invincible.
"UH YEAH, IM THINKING TWO GUNS. PRETTY FUCKING BASED"


then he ran into the daylight waggling his penis and magic guns like a character from Saints Row The Third as he headed north to Seattle to start his day again.


The End.
 

The Last Stand

Glamorous Summertime
True & Honest Fan
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Joined
Aug 17, 2018
wheres my friggin present 🎅🏿
happy christmas.


Secret Santa announcement and gift exchange there.
 

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Traincake

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 26, 2021
I am patiently awaiting my own gift. I would be tickled a particularly pleasant shade of pink if my secret Santa gift was delivered today.
 

Mealy Mouth Spittle

True & Honest Fan
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Joined
Jan 4, 2021
I haven't gotten my present yet, but just want whoever my Secret Santa is to know that they can take their time. I've had a difficult Christmas season this year, so whether they are in the same boat or just super busy with life, I get it. Though I'm excited to see it, don't stress yourself over it. I'll still be excited whether I get it today or Jan 1 which is actually my birthday, so it would be a twofer present 🎁