Kiwi Farms: The Motion Picture -

[8777BB5]

How would Hollywood go about making a Kiwi Farms Movie? Who would they cast for the posters and lolcows?

 

[RG 448]

We’re not going to be a movie, we’re going to be an episode of Law & Order SVU.

 

[A Useless Fish]

Null would be played by Michael Cera, because he has one of the most punchable faces in showbiz. CatParty would probably be played by that creepy little midget in those Austin Powers movies. Dynastia would be played by that hooker/tranny creature they got to play Starfire in that awful looking Teen Titans live action show.

Everybody else could be played by patients from the nearest nuthouse.

 

[ES 148]

Everyone would be played by Steve Buscemi.

 

[SiccDicc]

Null would be played by Michael Cera, because he has one of the most punchable faces in showbiz. CatParty would probably be played by that creepy little midget in those Austin Powers movies. Dynastia would be played by that hooker/tranny creature they got to play Starfire in that awful looking Teen Titans live action show.

Everybody else could be played by patients from the nearest nuthouse.

I hope I get to play Nuthouse Extra #5.

 

[Deadpool]

Ryan Reynolds in full Deadpool costume would play me.
John Goodman would play @AnOminous
A CGI rat voiced by Danny Devito would play @Rat Speaker
Steve Janowski would play @Y2K Baby
Josh McDermiit (if he put on weight) would make an okay @LegendaryChristorian

 

[Judge Holden]

Dibs on Kevin Spacey after a year long crack addiction

 

[IV 445]

@AnOminous will play as John Goodman playing as @AnOminous

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Null would be played by Bruce Willis or Liam Neeson.
OPL would be played by Caitlyn Jenner in a fat suit.

 

[Judge Holden]

Null would be played by Leslie Jones.

FTFY

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

FTFY

Because they're both hung like donkeys?

 

[Slamerella]

You know that movie Cyber Bully that was a TV movie on NBC?

It'd go exactly like that.

 

[Golly]

If a smart writer got ahold of it, it'd be about what kind of cow attracts what kind of user, self awareness, the nature of halal threads, and people somehow finding community on a site with a reputation for being hostile.

But it'd actually just be another anti-bullying message as misunderstood cows join forces against a bunch of unlikable goblin people on the internet.

 

[Jerry_ smith56]

@Testaclese Maximus would be played by James Woods.
@Judge Holden would be played by Kevin Spacey
@Hortator would be played by Owen Wilson
@Jerry_ smith56 would be played by Brendan Gleason
@Heinrich Himmler would be played by Christoph waltz
@Vrakks would be played by Jennifer Lawrence
@Fagnasty would be played by Hugh Jackman
@CWCissey would by played by Anthony Hopkins
@NULL would be played by Taron Egerton

 

[Agent Wet]

The plot of the movie would just be Cyber Bully combined with Unfriended.

 

[The Shadow]

I'm picturing Bryan Cranston as @Heinrich Himmler in full SS regalia, walking around and grinning as he comes up with fun, harmless threads from his fortress at Wewelsburg.

For myself I'd probably get stuck with some d-list Apatow/Feig comedy hack playing me. Probably Jason Segel.

 

[nanny911]

Jaden Smith would play the younger version of me and Brad Pitt would play the adult version.
Nick Bate would cameo as the plumber and Randy Stair would be recreated via CGI a la Tarkin in Rogue One.

 

[Gordon Cole]

If David Thewlis doesn't play me, then I'll be really disappointed.

 

[Reynard]

I have no idea who'd play me and which era of me they'd play.

 

[Deadpool]

Some more:
@Kiwi Jeff would be a cgi alligator voiced by Bradley Cooper
@Dr. Boe Jangles Esq. Would be played by a drunken Al Pachino in Dr. Kevorkian garb
@Feline Darkmage would be played be CGI Bubsy using his original voice actor.
@yawning sneasel would be played by Scarlet Johanson playing a transwoman to piss off SJWs
@Mister Thomas Jay Wasserberg would be played by a garbage bag, with a paper plate with an angry face drawn on it.
@Buffalo Bill would be played by a melted garbage bag from the same box