Kiwi medical staff,how do you deal with death? -

[AN/ALR56]

I know some kiwis are either doctors or nurses(or have a really nice medical knowledge or research).
So I ask you,how do you deal with a patient's death?
One of the reasons being a doctor was never a profession I thought of,was that I could not handle gore and real blood,much dealing with a patient's death.
How do you guys handle it?

 

[WhoWhatWhere]

Check her out. YouTube ask a mortician videos are seriously fantastic and informative.

http://www.orderofthegooddeath.com


Also this dude

http://www.calebwilde.com

 

[Online Violence]

Not a doctor, but from what I understand it's usually a mix of humour and callousness. It's hard to really perceive every single patient as an actual human entity on the same level as, say, someone in your own family. It would probably drive anyone insane if they tried. Humour as a coping mechanism for tragedy is pretty self-explanatory.

 

[WhoWhatWhere]

Not a doctor, but from what I understand it's usually a mix of humour and callousness. It's hard to really perceive every single patient as an actual human entity on the same level as, say, someone in your own family. It would probably drive anyone insane if they tried. Humour as a coping mechanism for tragedy is pretty self-explanatory.

Yea. With social services self care is an actual requirement when in school. Burnout is real and dangerous. Particularly to the patient or client.

 

[Mapache]

Not sure, i am scared of dying in the sense that the fade into blackness and then nothingness is scary for me, but i know that if i'm dying for a cause its not bad. Others have died without a sound, whimper and braved on so i dont think i should go complaining about anything especially if i die comfortably in my room alone. I'm sure many people would have loved to die that way (shark attack victems, burn victems etc)
I'd pick nothingness over burning in hades anyday.

 

[DN 420]

I suppose I go about it in a pragmatic and logical sort of way. Everybody dies, whether they've lived a long life or not, whether it was just or not. More new people are born perpetually, the world is in constant flush. That kind of separation is sort of necessary, it's too easy to get caught up in emotions, becoming sentimental or even guilty.

I know a lot of people use humor as a coping mechanism, but I can't bring myself to do that. I mean, in a way I do, I come on websites like these to laugh at other people, but people I don't know, people I can look at as less-than-human than the people I watch die. I guess I just get too close most of the time? I'm not sure.

But not becoming a doctor or whatever just because of that kind of shit is naive. You do so much more good for the world than bad, you help people far more than you harm them. It makes a small but substantial positive difference. It's worth it.

 

[Flamesoul the Diabolical]

I wouldn't want a career that dealt with the possibility of clients dying, that is just too traumatizing, dude :/ I mean, I had to compartmentalize the Paris attacks, basically pretend they happened in a fictional world, otherwise I would've gone into a major depressive state. I wouldn't be able to handle that on a more intimate level, I have too much empathy.

 

[Jaded Optimist]

People get hurt, and everyone dies. When I'm on scene, it is probably the worst day of the people's lives. You had no control on how the came into this situation. All you can do is make it better as best you can. They generally would be worse off without you, and if it's their final moments you can provide as much comfort as possible and do everything you can as they pass. You have to remember that you aren't the cause, you might not be the ultimate solution but you are helping that person when they need it.

Sidenote: everyone deals with death and trauma diferent, some of my crew get hammered, some make jokes and some take a bath and cry (sometimes all three).

 

[Flamesoul the Diabolical]

People get hurt, and everyone dies. When I'm on scene, it is probably the worst day of the people's lives. You had no control on how the came into this situation. All you can do is make it better as best you can. They generally would be worse off without you, and if it's their final moments you can provide as much comfort as possible and do everything you can as they pass. You have to remember that you aren't the cause, you might not be the ultimate solution but you are helping that person when they need it.

Sidenote: everyone deals with death and trauma diferent, some of my crew get hammered, some make jokes and some take a bath and cry (sometimes all three).

It must be way worse for those working in the ER, huh? :/

 

[Jaded Optimist]

It must be way worse for those working in the ER, huh? :/

Probably, I'm the first on scene so I see people when they have had no treatment yet. When people I deal with get to e.r they have had basic treatment for about 20 mins or more and then another 20+ ambulance ride to the hospital. I just try to keep them alive in that time, or during cardiac bring them back.

 

[Flamesoul the Diabolical]

Probably, I'm the first on scene so I see people when they have had no treatment yet. When people I deal with get to e.r they have had basic treatment for about 20 mins or more and then another 20+ ambulance ride to the hospital. I just try to keep them alive in that time, or during cardiac bring them back.

Oh damn, so you're an EMT? Okay, never mind, you probably do have it worse. You're way braver than me for all the work you do! <3

 

[Jaded Optimist]

Oh damn, so you're an EMT? Okay, never mind, you probably do have it worse. You're way braver than me for all the work you do! <3

Not an emt either, sorry I should have clarified. I'm a volunteer firefighter in a remote community, most of our calls are first responder calls. Anything from mountain biking accidents in the woods that we need to pack out, to car accidents with combative drunk patients, oh and we just had a fall from a 30 foot high ladder. Plus lots of boating accidents. I have nothing but respect for emt and ER nurses, I really do think they have it rougher. I provide basic care, they provide extended care to a point and I think death can effect them more. I'm a blip in a victims care, they are their care.

 

[Ebola]

Used to work at a nursing home; people died constantly. Some of the residents torment you by asking you stupid questions about your personal life that you've already answered 200 times before or making you take pointless actions like moving their furniture or reposition their wheelchair then making you redo it ten times over. A few will literally stalk you or mistake you for a family member or friend who is long dead and start crying when they see you, thinking they made it to heaven or something, so you have to go along with it to an extent. I usually feel like shit when I see them suffering, and 99% of them suffer too much. When they die I feel better that they aren't in a living hell anymore and happy because I don't have to smell their pants-shitting asses anymore. What's really annoying is sometimes they will try to give you money or force you to eat some stale candy that expired before you were born.

There are plenty of them who were just abandoned by their friends and families and left to rot; I pray for death for these people because there's no getting better and volunteers and staff typically have no time to talk with them. Staffers sometimes had KF-like discussions about the more... eccentric.... patients and their mental illnesses and state of mind. The most notorious one I encountered was a 96 year old woman who looked like she was the perfect grandmother, pure and wise, but she couldn't go more than 20 seconds without calling the black nurses niggers or telling me I was a piece of shit for the one time I forgot to tell her it was time to go to the chapel. The runner-up would be a man I compared to Chris-chan in my mind. He was only in his 60s, but he was kinda retarded and kept on asking people if he could borrow their phone to make a call to his long-dead relatives. He was a fat creeper who would inappropriately touch both men and women, and sometimes kids who visited. One time he took my cell phone when I wasn't paying attention and I found him screaming into it, demanding that he be connected to the mayor of a city that doesn't even exist. I think my worst experience was being stuck in an elevator for an hour and being the only one who didn't shit himself.

In a nutshell, all I can say is this is the future for every single one of us. Be happy you're young, and pray that humanity quickly defeats the aging process, because if we don't, you'll be eating shit food every day for years, wearing diapers, and your favorite hobbies will be bitching that it's too hot or too cold, and staring out a window for at least 6 hours a day. Some people, like a friend I know, just cannot handle being anywhere near a nursing home because its too triggering, forcing you to realize that you will inevitability become an invalid if you live too long.

 

[Null]

I know some kiwis are either doctors or nurses(or have a really nice medical knowledge or research).
So I ask you,how do you deal with a patient's death?
One of the reasons being a doctor was never a profession I thought of,was that I could not handle gore and real blood,much dealing with a patient's death.
How do you guys handle it?

I've never known any doctor to be seriously emotionally involved. It's just a job. Sometimes there are sad stories but when you've worked in a hospital for 20 years you know all the sad stories. It just doesn't touch you. I don't know if it ever did for some of them, though.

 

[Wallace]

 

[Bob's Axe]

I haven't been working long in my profession, but I kinda feel like a bit of a psychopath. I care about lots of things especially things considering the betterment of others. I kinda just feel relieved when people die. My philosophy behind what I'm doing is, they're either old and going to die, or dying so I'm here to try to make it as enjoyable, comfortable, or easy as possible. I work mostly with the elderly so usually they're ancient and have lived their shitty or fulfilling life and they've just been sitting in the building waiting to die. Then again my perspective on death is probably colored terribly from my grandmother losing her mind to dementia as I was growing up and had to watch her do batshit things while she lived with us. I mourned her death before she passed and felt nothing when she died because she wasn't the woman I knew anymore, but the husk of a body of the woman she once was. I think after that I tend to mourn preemptively and quickly and then move on.

 

[LD 3187]

When it comes to our work, nothing is harder—and I mean nothing—than telling a loved one that their family member is dead. Give me a bloody airway to intubate. Give me the heroin addict who needed IV access yesterday, but no one can get an IV. Give me the child with anaphylaxis. But don’t give me the unexpected death. . . . We can only do so much, and we can only hope to do our best. But it’s that moment, when you stop resuscitation, and you look around, you look down at your shoes to make sure there’s no blood on them before talking with family, you put your coat back on and you take a deep breath, because you know that you have to tell a family that literally the worst thing imaginable has happened. And it’s in that moment that I feel.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I worked in the healthcare field for a few years with my husband.
I know this might sound morose, but I enjoyed every aspect of it. (except for family drama and abuse)
Being an emotionally sensitive person, it was quite cathartic and almost therapeutic being exposed to such a wide range of emotional reactions on a daily basis. It is very similar to watching a gripping movie and identifying with the characters portrayed on film, only it was real.

 

[keksz]

That's a touching thread already. Even a Scrubs tie-in Thank you OP and everyone here who faces death everyday as that coworker you're constantly trying to avoid.

@Ebola I feel you, which is why I'm always inspired by seeing elderly people still lucid and active. I hope some of us will get there too. Thank you for sharing.