KiwiFarms Open Recipe Book -

Do you cook much?

  • Never

    Votes: 6 1.2%
  • Rarely

    Votes: 43 8.5%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 140 27.8%
  • Often

    Votes: 271 53.8%
  • ...Do hotpockets count?

    Votes: 44 8.7%

  • Total voters
    504

ActualKiwi

Return Of The Spinning Kiwis From Middle Earth~~
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
So, we already have the thread on eating, but having been discussing food with people in chat for a while, I figured I'd pop up a thread to share some of our favourite recipes for other Kiwis to try, or for people to request recipes from some of our more culinary talented kiwis or providers such as our bdsm butcher @The Knife's Husbando

Go at it, Kiwis!
I'll start off with my recipe for cookies. Substitute whatever filling you like for the berries and nuts.

Ingredients

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 egg
1 egg yolk
1 cup or so of cranberries and macadamias (small chunks) to suit

Directions

  1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Grease cookie sheets or line with parchment paper.
  2. Sift together the flour, baking soda and salt; set aside.
  3. In a medium bowl, cream together the melted butter, brown sugar and white sugar until well blended.
  4. Beat in the vanilla, egg, and egg yolk until light and creamy.
  5. Mix in the sifted ingredients until just blended.
  6. Stir in the chocolate chips by hand using a wooden spoon.
  7. Drop cookie dough one ball at a time(choose your own size, I usually use a large mounded tablespoon worth) onto the prepared cookiesheets. Cookies should be about 2-3 inches apart..
  8. Bake for 15 to 17 minutes in the preheated oven, or until the edges are lightly toasted.
  9. Cool on baking sheets for a few minutes before transferring to wire racks to cool completely
 
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Fallensaint

Supreme moralfag
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Hmmm this is a fave.

No churn ice cream:
half a 397g can sweetened condensed milk
600ml pot double cream
1 tsp vanilla extract

Put the condensed milk, cream and vanilla into a large bowl. Beat with an electric whisk until thick and quite stiff. Put into a freezer containercover with cling film and freeze until solid.

Easy and delicious.

(add whiskey to liven it up a bit if you like).
 

Wildchild

Conflict Resolution Officer
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I cook pizzza.

Ingredients 1 telephone or cell phone
Pizza hut number
Money

1. Call pizza hut and tell them you want a pizza.
2. Tell them what kind of pizza you want, I like pepperoni.
3. Give them the address where the pizza hut people give you pizza.
4. Give the pizza hut people money
5. You have cooked a pizza hut.
6. Eat pizza.
7. Repeat if still hungry.
 

Donbasstard

базара Нет!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Borscht my wife learned from her mother:

400 g Beef: Any cut, preferably bone in

1 Tbsp salt + more to taste

2 large or 3 medium beets, washed, peeled and grated

4 Tbsp olive oil

1 Tbsp vinegar

1 Tbsp sugar

2 tbsp tomato paste

1 Tbsp butter

1 medium onion, diced

2 carrots, grated

2 large or 3 medium potatoes, peeled and cubed

1/2 head of small cabbage, sliced

2 tomatoes, peeled and diced

3 bay leaves

1/4 tsp ground pepper

1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

2 cloves garlic, pressed

Garnish: Sour cream and fresh dill.


  1. Boil the meat in a large pot of water (maybe 3.5 litres) with Tbsp of salt. Once it comes to a boil, lower heat and boil for 45 minutes, there will be this film at the top of the water you need to strain it off.

  2. Take your beets and put them in a heavy sauce pan with the oil and vinegar and saute it for like 5 minutes or so, add the tomato paste and sugar and saute and stir for about 10 min on low heat. remove from pan

3. In the same pan saute the onion and butter for a couple minutes then add the carrot and saute for 5 minutes


4. By the time all this is done, the beef should have been boiling for 45 minutes. Remove the beef, add the beets, carrots, onion, cabbage and potatoes, tomatoes to the broth.


5. cut the beef into small slices add to the soup


6. add the bay leaf, pepper, parsley, garlic and allow to cook until potatoes are cooked.


7. Serve in bowl with sour cream and dill (as all Russian food is served)


8. Enjoy it more the next day. (you can also put lemon juice in it if you are a Ukrainian)
 

The Knife's Husbando

Combat pragmatist
kiwifarms.net
Bangers n' Mash Pizza

Mise en place:
1. Ingredients for a quadruple recipe of instant mashed potatoes (butter, salt, milk, potato flakes, etc.)
2. 3-4 oz. Beef gravy
3. 8-10 oz. grated Mozzarella cheese
4. 4-5 oz. thinly sliced pre-cooked cooked bratwurst, or sausage of choice.
5. 2 oz. chopped onions
6. 2 oz. chopped fresh mushrooms

Procedure:
(1.)Make up the instant mashed potatoes as normal, but use only about a third of the recommended liquid (you may have to fiddle with this). You should end up with a very stiff dough-like texture. Roll it out thin and par-bake it for about 15-20 minutes at about 450 deg. on a sheet pan. Keep an eye on it. You're looking for a very pale golden brown color, and just a bit of crisp around the edges.

(2.) Once it's cooled a bit, spread the beef gravy evenly over the top, then add the mozzarella, onions, mushrooms, and sliced sausage. Put it back in the oven for about another 10-15 minutes until everything is golden brown & melty.

Serves two, or one really hungry person. Best enjoyed with cold Guinness.
 
H

HG 400

Guest
kiwifarms.net
1. Lamb's Liver
2. Flour
3. Bacon
4. Onion
5. Instant Gravy
6. Water
7. Oil

Chop valves and connective tissue and assorted gross shit out of liver. Slice into half-inch thick slices. Dice onion and bacon. Lightly flour the liver slices. Pan-sear a couple minutes until rare (press with fork only a few droplets of blood should ooze out). Remove. Fry onion and bacon until bacon is crispy and onion is golden. Make a jug of instant gravy. Put liver back in and pour gravy in. Simmer 2 minutes.
 

The Knife's Husbando

Combat pragmatist
kiwifarms.net
Braised Venison Ham

Mise en place:
(1.) 8-10 Lb. raw Venison shank ham *
(2.) six pounds root vegetables. Potatoes, turnips, carrots,etc. The larger variety the better. All scrubbed, peeled and halved
( 3.) 1 cup ghee, preferably homemade.
(4.) 1 quart White veal stock (see below)

This dish sounds complex, but it's not. It's mostly prep and waiting. You first make the stock in a crock-pot-

White veal stock:
(1.) 2 Lbs. veal bones & trim or two pounds of veal neck chops.
(2) 1 whole smoked pork knuckle
(3.) 1-1/2 cups of diced Mirepox
(4) 1 bay leaf
(5) 1 small bunch fresh thyme
(6) 1 teaspoon whole black peppercorns, smashed
(7) 6 cloves of garlic, peeled and smashed
(8) 1 good pinch Saffron threads. Don't skimp.

Place all of the above in a crock pot, then fill to the top with water. Let it perk for at least eight hours on low, then strain into a saucier & reduce to one quart. While that's going on, prep your veggies and ham. Trim any nasty bits off the end by the joint, and place in the biggest roasting pan you can find with the veggies arranged around it. Pour the Ghee over everything, and add the stock as well. Lid up, and seal the edges of the pan with aluminum foil, or if you don't have a lid just layer 2-3 layers of aluminum foil over everything, crimping down hard on the edges to make a good seal. Braise the whole thing for at least 12 hours at 250 degrees.** Make sure to let the roast stand at least 20 minutes before carving.

Serves 8-10 people. Best paired with lager, a vinaigrette salad, and homemade bread with butter

*- If you live in a rural area, finding a raw venison ham usually is no problem, and not overly expensive when bought from a local hunter while in season. If deer isn't in season, or if you live in the middle of a big city, you may have to go to as specialty butcher to acquire one. This is both pricey as hell, and usually not the best quality as "domestic" venison is usually raised on corn & sweet feed instead of forest mast. Baring that, substitute a raw pork shank ham & omit the ghee.

**- Don't do what I did the first time I made this. Since this dish ties down your oven for most of a day, Make sure you make anything that needs to go into the oven the first day, while you're making the stock.




 

Pikimon

Exceptionally Overachieving Mexican
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Pikimon's Shitty Puttanesca Pasta

1 Jar of Green Olives (California Olives not those shitty Italian ones)
Olive Oil (California Olive Oil not that shitty Italian Olive Oil)
1 Box of Farfalle Pasta (the bowtie ones)
1 tin of anchovies
2 cloves of garlic
2 cans of peeled tomatoes
1 jar of capers
oregano, basil, sage, salt, and pepper to taste

1) Lightly drizzle olive oil on a deep skillet
2) sautee garlic and about 3 anchovies until golden brown
3) set pasta to boil and drain when soft
4) Once garlic and anchovies are golden brown empty contents of tomato cans unto skillet
5) Mash those fucking tomatoes until chunky
6) empty jar of olives and capers into skillet
7) add herbs and spices
8) let sauce simmer
9) Mix in pasta into sauce and eat in a bowl with bread to mop up the sauce
 

Ravenor

Purge.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Mini Pasta Shell with Creamy Smokey Bacon and Peas.

Ingredients
  • 6 slices higher-welfare smoked streaky bacon or pancetta
  • 1 small bunch fresh mint
  • 100 g Parmesan cheese
  • sea salt
  • freshly ground black pepper
  • 1 organic chicken stock cube , optional
  • 400 g dried mini shell pasta
  • olive oil
  • 300 g frozen peas
  • 2 heaped dessertspoons half-fat crème fraîche
  • 1 lemon
Method
Finely slice the bacon. Pick the mint leaves and discard the stalks. Finely grate the Parmesan. Bring a large pan of salted water to the boil and drop in the stock cube (if using). Stir until it’s dissolved, then add the mini shells and cook according to the packet instructions. Get a large frying pan over a medium heat and add a good lug of olive oil. Add the bacon to the pan, sprinkle a little pepper over and fry until golden and crisp.

Meanwhile, finely chop your mint leaves. As soon as the bacon is golden, add your frozen peas and give the pan a good shake. After a minute or so, add the crème fraîche and chopped mint to the bacon and peas. Drain the pasta in a colander over a large bowl, reserving some of the cooking water.

Add the pasta to the frying pan. Halve your lemon and squeeze the juice over the pasta. When it’s all bubbling away nicely, remove from the heat. The sauce should be creamy and delicious but if it’s too thick for you, add a splash of the reserved cooking water to thin it out a bit. Add the grated Parmesan and give the pan a shake to mix it in.

Divide your pasta between plates or bowls, or put it on the table in a large serving dish and let everyone help themselves. Lovely with a simply dressed green salad.

That's quickly become one of my goto dishes when I'm either busy or just want something quick.
 

The Knife's Husbando

Combat pragmatist
kiwifarms.net
Stuffed Pork Chops

Here are two bone-in 1" thick center cut pork chops:


Take a really sharp cimitar knife & cut a "pocket" in each from the outer fat down to the rib bone.


Then lay it out in a prep bowl.


And mix up your stuffing. This is a 10 oz. can of spinach drained & squeezed almost dry, some feta cheese, minced garlic, soy sauce & some sea salt.


Then stuff each chop with the mixture, using the back of a spoon to cram it in.


Then fold the outer edges of the chop over the stuffing.


Get out some black cotton surgeon's thread and tie a loop knot after threading a sail needle on it.


Punch through once near the edge of the slit, then feed the needle back through the loop.


And suture each chop shut over the filling.


Get the grill going good (this was a night shot)


Then put both chops in a fish basket & give them about 10 minutes a side.


Let the chops rest five minutes under aluminum foil.


And then cut & pick out the sutures. This is an annoying, messy step- but the stitching keeps the filling in the chop, and the heat of the grill actually fuses the edges of the slit together. It's worth the extra work.


And done! Served up with baked fries with cold beer waiting by the grill.
 

Smutley

Kill Count: 2
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Puff Pancake / Dutch Baby

3 tablespoons butter
3 eggs
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 cup milk, heated 20 to 30 seconds in the microwave
1 tablespoon sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Pinch salt

  1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
  2. Place the butter in a pan and place in the oven to melt.
  3. In a blender combine the eggs, flour, hot milk, 1 tablespoon sugar, vanilla extract, and pinch of salt, and blend on medium-high speed until uniform. A blender is important because you want to add a ton of air to the batter.
  4. Remove the hot pan from the oven. Swirl the melted butter around the pan to coat completely, and then pour the butter into the batter incorporate.
  5. Pour the batter into the hot pan and return the pan to the oven. Cook the pancake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until the pancake is puffed in the center, and golden brown along the edges.
 
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AnimuGinger

Schmuck in Scrubs
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Generic Jackass Salmon

1 portion of salmon fillet. However big you fucking want it
Sea Salt
Pepper
1tbps butter
1 lime

Heat cast iron skillet on high heat
Coat salmon with salt/pepper on both sides.
Melt butter.
Drop salmon in.
Cook halfway through
Flip.
Cook until done.
Squeeze lime over at some point. idgaf when. Cooked, or while cooking.
 

UselessRubberKeyboard

ZX Spectrum lives matter
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Microwave mug cake for lazy fat people

You need a big mug. Those huge-ass ones you can steal from Starbucks* works well. Put in said mug:

4 tablespoons self-raising flour
3 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon of cocoa powder OR 1/2 teaspoon mixed spices
2 tablespoons cooking oil
3 tablespoons water
a pinch of salt

Stir really well. Microwave on full power (800w) for 3 1/2 minutes. Hope and pray the cake mix doesn't rise over the top of the mug and explode all down the sides. Leave too cool for a few minutes (you can add syrup or ice cream at this point if you're feeling particularly gluttonous). Eat.

* I don't advocate stealing, no, of course not. As if.
 

Yamyam

Uki uki motherfucker
kiwifarms.net
kick ass hashbrownpotatos :
2 to 3 potatoes
1 small onion
garlic pepper
black pepper
salt
1 to 2 cups of flour
cooking oil
optional: cut cheddar cheese

fuck imitation

  1. cut the potatoes the way you want them (cubes/ shredded)
  2. cut the onion along with the potatoes
  3. session the potatoes and onions in the bowl with the garlic pepper, black pepper, and salt
  4. put 1 to 2 cups of flour in the bowl to coat the potatoes and onions
  5. in a large pan, coat the bottom with oil. enough to fry it but not too much to make it greasy
  6. when the oil is hot, dump the coated potatoes and onions into the pan but make sure you don't dump the extra flour into the pan
  7. fry them for about 30 minutes, making sure they are all crispy gold
  8. optional: add cheese while it cook or when it's done cooking for cheesy hashbrownpotatos
 
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VLAD

I may be but small, but I will die a colossus.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
VLAD's bomb ass twice-baked potato boats

  • some big ass idaho spuds, i mean the BIG fuckers
  • 1 small onion
  • a handful of broccolis
  • 2 to 3 strips of bacon
  • cheese (cheddar, grated/shredded)
  • cheese (Parmesan)
  • black pepper
  • salt
  • paprika
  • garlic powder
  • olive oil
  • milk
  • scallions, if you want
  • butter
  • sour cream

  1. Preheat your oven to 375 degrees F, or whatever the Celsius equivalent is in your Communist hellhole of a country.
  2. Wash your potatoes, then grab a fork and stab them like you're a Roman senator on the Ides of March.
  3. Glaze them with olive oil, then throw the four spices over them and make sure the spread is nice and even.
  4. Toss those puppies in the oven and let 'em roast for a good hour. Don't wrap them in tin foil; that'll make the skin all soft and limp when we want it to be nice and crispy.
  5. Fry up the bacon and cut it into bacon bits. Then dice the onion and caramelize the onion bits in the leftover bacon grease for maximum deliciousness. If you keep kosher, kill yourself.
  6. Steam the broccoli in a saucepan if you want (it's healthier raw, if less tasty), then put it in a bowl with the bacon and onion bits. Add olive oil or butter, and whatever spices strike your fancy. Stir it all up.
  7. By now, the potatoes should be done. Cut them in half and scoop out the actual potato guts. Mash them in a separate bowl with milk, butter, sour cream, whatever spices you want. Throw in some Parmesan cheese too, if you've got some lying around. The exact proportions of milk and butter will vary depending on how many potatoes you've used, so just eyeball it. Mix those in with the broccoli/bacon/onion concoction once you've achieved the platonic ideal of mashedness.
  8. Throw this mashed potato amazingness back in the skins, then lay your little boats out on a baking sheet. Throw them all back in the oven and bake for 15 minutes.
  9. Garnish with a dollop or two of sour cream and some scallions. Stuff your fat fucking face.
If you don't want to follow this recipe to the letter, then don't. Cooking is all about experimentation. Use your imagination.
 
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The Knife's Husbando

Combat pragmatist
kiwifarms.net
Cheese & Bacon Muffins

I often make these as a side dish to go with about most anything. They're great hot or cold.

Mise en place:
(1.) 2-1/4 cups quick baking mix. "Bisquick" or whatever.
(2.) Milk, salt and butter required to make the "biscuit" recipe on the box.
(3.) 8 oz. shredded sharp cheddar cheese.
(4,) 6 oz. cooked bacon. chopped fine.
(5.) 4 oz. sour cream
(6.) 2 oz. freshly grated Parmesan cheese.
(7.) 1 oz. vegetable oil.

Procedure:
(1.) Preheat oven to 450 degs. Use the ounce of vegetable oil & a paper towel to grease up a standard 6-count muffin tin. Then dump all the rest in a sturdy mixing bowl & mix the hell out of it.

(2.) Spoon the mix into the greased muffin tin evenly. You should have about three heaping teaspoons per slot.

(3.) Pop it into the preheated oven & bake for 15-20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the middle comes out clean.

(4.) Let the whole shebang rest on an elevated cooling rack for about 20 min. Then run a thin bladed knife around the edge of each muffin to release them from the tin.

Serves six with a main entree, or three with some sweet butter & cider on the side as a starter for a meal.

Husbando's Cashew-Butter Stuffed Mushrooms

Mise en place:

(1.) 4 oz. cheddar cheese
(2.) 8 oz. salted cashew nuts
(3.) 6 oz. bacon
(4.) 3 cloves garlic, minced
(5.) 1 Tspn. Unsalted butter
(6.) 2 small containers of the “Papa John’s” garlic butter sauce
(7.) 6 large (golf ball sized or better) whole white mushrooms
(8.) Olive oil, Soy sauce & salt and pepper.

Procedure:

Sa
uté the bacon in olive oil, with the garlic and some soy sauce until its crisp then set it aside on paper towels to drain. After the bacon is room temperature, refrigerate it overnight.

The next day, tear the bacon into chunks & drop it into a blender. Give it a spin or two until it’s shredded, then add the cashews, P.J. garlic sauce, butter and a bit of soy, spin it around again for a bit. While it’s shredding, chunk the cheese & add it slowly from the top, a bit at a time. Keep running the blender, swapping from the chop to the liquefy settings until everything is a smooth dark brown paste. You may need to add a tiny drop of water or soy now and then, and you’ll have to frequently stop the blender to scrape everything back down to the blades. It took me about 20 minutes to get this done.

While you’re blending, fiddle with the seasoning, what you’re looking for is a smooth salty sweet taste. When everything is homogeneous, it should look a little like dark peanut butter, and taste like heaven.

Wash and de-stem the mushrooms to make little bowls, and then stuff them with the cashew/bacon/cheddar mixture. Pop them into a buttered casserole dish and bake at 350 deg. for 25 minutes covered, uncovering them for five minutes more to brown nicely.

Serves six.

Husbando's Lady Gaga Cupcakes:

Mise en place:
(1.) 1 small jar whole “cocktail” maraschino cherries
(2.) 2 (12 count) boxes of cherry cordials (this works better with good quality chocolates)
(3) 1 box red velvet cake mix (with eggs, oil, butter, etc. to make it)
(4) 1 container white buttercream icing
(5.) 1 container silver edible decorative cake sprinkles
(6.) 12 white chocolate Hershey’s Kisses

Procedure:

(1.) Okay, we’ll get the difficult bit out of the way first: using a scalpel or an x-acto knife, cut off the tops of the 12 cherry candies- and using a pair of surgical hemostats- extract the cherry from the center of each with the hemostats, throwing them away as you remove them. This is fidgety work, and you’ll probably mess up the first few- that’s why I recommend two boxes worth- but keep at it slow and steady (running the blade under HOT water helps) until you end up with a dozen chocolate shells and tops, then place them in the freezer for at least an hour.

(2.) Place 12 of the whole maraschino cherries in the blender, and add 2-3 tablespoons of the “red juice” they come in, and run them through the “liquefy” setting for 5 minutes.

(3.) While they’re spinning, line the cupcake pan with the liners, and mix up your red velvet cake mix & unwrap the Kisses. Place a tablespoon of the batter in each of the divots in the cupcake pan, then gingerly place one of the chocolate shells in the middle of each. Using a surgical syringe or turkey baster, fill to the top with the red liquid from the blender & put the cap back on the cordial. Then fill each of the spots with the remaining batter, going easy to “float” the modified cherry cordial in the center. Pop them in the oven for the recommended time & cool on a wire rack.


Decorating: Fill your piping bag with the warmed buttercream icing & pipe on the tops of the cupcakes, then press a single white chocolate kiss on the top center & garnish with the silver sprinkles.

Serves 12.

Note: These are a VERY rich and sweet desert that’s also good for Halloween with a little modification. On the first bite they “bleed” down your chin. (lol).
 
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Bogs

He didn't play Bond as a Welshman
kiwifarms.net
I'm a horrible cook, but I do know one simple recipe in case anybody needs me to cook anything

Mash Potatoes (cue jokes)

1.) skin potatoes
2.) take skins and fill a coffee cup
3.) add milk to cup (about 1/3 cup) and let sit
4.) chop potatoes and cook until soft
5.) mash dem taters
6.) add palmful of Rosemary, Basil and Salt
7.) add your milk whilst holding back the skins
8.) add 2-3 tablespoons of butter
9.) mix and mash until smooth

If you get it right, it should be nice and creamy and you should be able to taste the basil
 

The Knife's Husbando

Combat pragmatist
kiwifarms.net
Husbando's Grilled Bananas:

I put this together during the last big power-outage down here. It's a kinda modified version of the dish from Jeff Foxworthy's The Redneck Grill: The Most Fun You Can Have with Fire, Charcoal, and a Dead Animal cookbook. I made these again last night, so I'm including grill and baking instructions.

Mise en place:

4 good-sized ripe (but not squishy) bananas
1/2 envelope instant onion soup
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon white sugar
1 shot spiced rum
1 tablespoon dark brown sugar, plus a little more
1 teaspoon Vietnamese five-spice powder
juice of one lime
4 cups water
a pinch salt

Procedure for these is dead simple. Mix everything but the bananas into a saucepan & bring to a boil. Chop up the bananas into about one-inch pieces, and add them into the saucepan & refrigerate/ice the lot for about eight hours.

When you get back home from work, put on some latex gloves & drain the bananas in a colander then thread them on skewers. Just before going to the grill or oven, sprinkle them with the extra brown sugar.

Grilling: After you have your charcoal ready, grill the bananas about 3" from the coals- turning frequently until they are golden brown & the sugars are caramelized- all told about 1-1/2 minutes per side.

Oven: Pre-heat to your broil setting, and arrange the skewers on a catch-pan (they drip a good deal while cooking). Cook time is about the same.

Absolutely divine over vanilla ice cream. Serves two.

Husbando's Pony Sushi:

Okay. This requires a bit of explanation. This is not sushi, nor is it made of ponies. It's candy that looks like sushi rolls. This dish was inspired by the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

Ingredients: Chocolate version

2 cups plain Rice Krispies cereal
2 tablespoons Cocoa Pebbles cereal
7-8 marshmallows
1 teaspoon butter
1 Tootsie-roll candy (the long thin ones you get from gas stations- about 3/8" x 12" long)
1 "Cow tail" caramel candy, same size as the above.
4 oz milk chocolate.

Alternative fruit version:

2 cups Fruity Pebbles cereal
7-8 marshmallows
1 teaspoon butter
2 long Laffy-Taffy candies, complementary flavors
2 green or dark coloured fruit roll-ups

Tools needed: Small sheet pan & silicone spatula, non-stick spray, Double boiler (chocolate version only), Bamboo sushi mat lined with parchment paper & extra parchment paper. Tongs, Latex gloves, and a REALLY sharp serrated knife.

Chocolate version: Make up a batch of Rice Krispy treat stuff: Microwave the marshmallows & butter & mix in the two cereals. Spoon it out as quickly as possible onto the parchment-covered bamboo mat and smooth it out as even as possible. Place the Tootsie Roll & Cow-tail about an inch from the top of the mat- going lengthwise. Let the mixture cool down about a minute and roll the mat up, pressing firmly (like you're making a normal sushi roll) use the spatula to gently un-stick the parchment paper from the Krispy treat goo if you need to. When you have a firm 1 1/2"-ish by 8" cylinder, place it in the freezer on a very lightly buttered pan to cool down for about an hour. About 10 minutes before it's due to come out, set up your double boiler & melt the milk chocolate. Take the cylinder out of the freezer, and while holding it with tongs, spoon melted chocolate over it. Don't try for a really thick coat. The hot chocolate will freeze into a thin shell around the candy. When coated, back on the pan & back into the freezer for another hour.

Fruit Version: It's basically the same as the chocolate, but with two important differences. First, line the already-covered bamboo mat with a single layer of fruit roll-up. Second- when making these- work quickly as soon as the fruit-krispy mix is mixed well, get it on the mat, add the two Taffy ropes & start rolling. The heat is critical to fuse the candy together, especially on sticking the fruit roll-up "nori" on the outside. If you're not used to working with hot candy stuff, a pair of thin cotton gloves under your latex ones really helps. After they're rolled nicely, chill as the chocolate version.

Serving:
With the really sharp knife, slice each cylinder into 1/2" thick pieces, and serve on a sushi tray with candied ginger pieces & dollop of "Wasabi" made from white buttercream icing & green food colouring.

Serves 6.
 
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