KiwiFarms Open Recipe Book -

Do you cook much?

  • Never

    Votes: 6 1.3%
  • Rarely

    Votes: 40 8.6%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 130 28.1%
  • Often

    Votes: 247 53.3%
  • ...Do hotpockets count?

    Votes: 40 8.6%

  • Total voters
    463

Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.

Original Prick
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Apparently that's illegal because of the lungs, but only if they are imported. Cheese curds (unless they are aged and the bacteria killed) are not allowed to be sold. So they can't be imported or, apparently, sold at all. Although people do anyway.
You can only get the 60 day aged ones, not the authentic raw product, it’s true, but you won’t notice the difference, flavor wise, in a dish that has this many ingredients. Smothered in gravy with seasoned fries and pork? Won’t even notice it.
Swear to God, though, the US and obsessive dairy laws, man.

I will never understand some chefs' obsession with pork belly, first of all. But seriously you have to put the curds on first, then the gravy. Thank you for typing out this recipe though. Unfortunately I doubt many here will be able to find suitable curds to do poutine justice.
Gives it a little more smoke and some meat in there.
And oof, thanks for pointing out the gravy order was wrong, fixed!
 

Pocket_Sand!

The sand is not in my pockets, but in my soul.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
@Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.

Your thoughts on an air fryer for the fries in the ScootyPuff Poutine??? My folks picked up an air fryer last week, and love it, so we've now been debating about buying one ourselves. It seems like a decent kitchen gadget, healthier, and less mess to clean up at the end.
 

instythot

kiwifarms.net
@Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.

Your thoughts on an air fryer for the fries in the ScootyPuff Poutine??? My folks picked up an air fryer last week, and love it, so we've now been debating about buying one ourselves. It seems like a decent kitchen gadget, healthier, and less mess to clean up at the end.
The potatoes for poutine are traditionally deep fried in duck fat. It's not a healthy dish. It'll be up to you how much you want to balance your health and traditional flavor
 
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Pocket_Sand!

The sand is not in my pockets, but in my soul.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The potatoes for poutine are traditionally deep fried in duck fat. It's not a healthy dish. It'll be up to you how much you want to balance your health and traditional flavor
Agreed, it's more a question of if the air fryer can pull off the same level of crispiness, and quality of regular frying. Also less mess, I love cooking, but hate the clean up after.
 
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Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.

Original Prick
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
@Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.

Your thoughts on an air fryer for the fries in the ScootyPuff Poutine??? My folks picked up an air fryer last week, and love it, so we've now been debating about buying one ourselves. It seems like a decent kitchen gadget, healthier, and less mess to clean up at the end.
I've actually never played with an air fryer before. My usual advice is "go do it". Tell us how it goes!
 

Buster O'Keefe

Enjoys offal
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Stuffed Lamb Hearts

Serves 2
Ingredients:
  • 2 lamb hearts
  • 2 onions
  • 1 clove of garlic
  • 100g of pork sausage meat
  • small bunch of thyme
  • small bunch of parsley
  • handfull of breadcrumbs
  • 6 - 8 slices of streaky bacon.
  • 1 carrot
  • 1 celery stick
  • half a bottle of decent red wine
  • 1 bouquet garni
  • a big glug of balsamic vinegar, 5 tablespoons
Method:

  1. Trim the hearts: slice off and retain the tops and cut out all the gross tubes. Slice off as much of the white fat surrounding the heart as you can.
  2. Make the stuffing: finely dice 1 onion and the garlic, and fry in oil until soft. Let cool, them mix into the sausage meat, breadcrumbs and chopped parsley and thyme. Season generously.
  3. Stuff the hearts: Push the stuffing mix into the hearts, set the tops back on (You could also sew the tops on). Wrap the bacon around the hearts so the tops are stay in place and the stuffing can't fall out, and secure with butcher's twine. You will probably have stuffing left over.
  4. Brown your hearts: fry them all over in a pan until the bacon in nicely coloured. Deglaze the pan with some wine and reserve.
  5. Make a braise: chop the carrot, remaining onion and celery and fry in an oven proof casserole and pot until soft and starting to colour. Add the bouquet garni, the hearts, and all the wine. Put a lid on the pot and place in oven at 140C. Cook for 2 hours.
  6. Finish the sauce: reduce the balsamic until thick and sticky. Remove the hearts from the pot and keep warm. Sieve the cooking liquid into a clean pot, squeezing the veg with a spoon to get all the flavour out. If you have a fat separator, use it to remove most of the oil and fat, or just skim off the worst of it. Add the balsamic reduction and boil hard until reduced by half. Adjust seasoning to taste.
  7. Serve: slice hearts and serve of a bed of veg, pour over the sauce. Yum.
I shamelessly ripped this off from https://www.greatbritishchefs.com/recipes/bacon-stuffed-braised-lamb-heart-recipe.
The hearts look gross in their raw form, so maybe hide them from any dining partners until cooked. Or larp as Mola Ram, running around the kitchen, bloody heart in hand shouting 'Kali Ma' like a sped (my preferred option). They are also dirt cheap and an excellent source of lean meat (once trimmed).
 
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Gar For Archer

kiwifarms.net
Made some great miso ramen this week, lightly adapted from this recipe to use mostly stuff that I either have in the kitchen, or can keep in storage long-term.

For the broth, you’ll need garlic, sesame oil, sesame seeds, your choice of Asian chili paste, chicken stock (or just water), sugar, and soy sauce. Optionally, you could add ginger and shallots/white onion, along with sake or your choice of cooking wine. My pot cooks 2 servings of broth, so I use 2 things of garlic. Other ingredients should be added to taste.

First, get the noodles out of the way. Use your ramen of choice, be it fresh or dry, and prepare it according to its instructions. I used this black bean “spaghetti” I found at Costco that absolutely sucks as spaghetti, but tastes pretty good in miso broth.

Heat up the sesame oil in a pan, and the put in minced garlic and sesame seeds (also ginger and shallots, if you’re using it).
After 2-3 minutes, mix in the chili sauce (just a little - I used no more than a teaspoon), soy sauce (just a little bit) and the miso (I used a big, generous spoonful, but feel free to adjust to taste).
Mix it all up for 2-3 minutes with your rubber spatula (my personal cooking implement of choice) for 2-3 minutes, and add in the sake (if applicable) and the chicken broth (around 2 cups). Add a half cup of water and maybe a tsp of sugar.
Let it simmer, making sure to blend in the miso mixture so that there’s no big chunks of miso floating in the broth.
Taste the broth, and add more sugar/water if it’s too salty.

There, now your broth is done! Pour half of it off into a bowl for storage (use a spoon to catch some of the solid matter - garlic and shallot pieces - that rest at the bottom).

Now comes the fun part - toppings. This part’s sorta up to you, depending on what you like. The following are merely my suggestions...
Turn the heat back on, and add in a spoonful of corn and some bamboo shoots (I used canned stuff, it works just fine). Add in some dried seaweed. Once it’s bubbling, crack in an egg and keep the heat in until it’s mostly cooked (the yolk should still be runny inside).
Place your noodles in your serving bowl, and top with chopped bok choi, scallion and bonito flakes. Pour your broth over the noodles (it may be easier to remove the egg first with a spoon) and it’s ready to serve!
Again, the toppings can be substituted as you see fit.
 

MerriedxReldnahc

World's Okay-est Proctologist
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Today was a volunteer potluck for the wildlife clinic and I brought some chocolate peanut butter fudge, not sure how people would like it. Folks went NUTS over it. I didn't even get to eat any (well ok, I had a stash saved at home) because it went so fast. There was a full on inquiry going on to figure out who make it and a woman thanked me like 10 times for the recipe.
So if you want people to shower you with praise, here's the thing for you. It's *very* easy to make, just a combination of a super easy chocolate fudge recipe and a modified peanut butter fudge recipe from Alton Brown.

Raptor-tastic Peanut Butter HAWKolate Fudge

Peanut Butter Fudge-
Melt 1 cup of peanut butter and 8 ounces of butter in the microwave for 1 minute, stir it up, and put in for another minute. You could easily do this stovetop also. Add in a teaspoon of vanilla extract OR vanilla bean paste if you have it. I used the latter this time, they're a 1 to 1 ratio so it's easily interchangable. Mix in 12 ounces of powdered sugar and however much salt you feel like adding.

Chocolate Fudge-
This is literally the easiest thing. Melt 3 cups of semi-sweet chocolate chips and a can of sweetened condensed tard cum in a saucepan (you could use the microwave but that's where the peanut butter was at the time and also you might burn your chocolate if you aren't paying attention). Once the chocolate chips have all melted down then boy howdy, you've got yourself some fudge.

Have a 8x8 dish ready layered with some parchment paper, and spread out your peanut butter fudge inside. Add the chocolate fudge on top and if you're more talented then I am you can get a chopstick and swirl it about to create a nice marbeling. It didn't quite work out, but who cares as long as it's tasty. Use the excess parchment paper to cover the top and stick that bad mother in the fridge overnight. Fudge will usually set in 2 or so hours, but this peanut butter fudge doesn't set up as fast. More powdered sugar would make it thicker, but I didn't want it too sweet.
After you've impatiently waited, pull the fudge/paper package out of the dish, cut it into squares, and eat while having a conversation about baby rats nursing habits.
 
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Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.

Original Prick
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Tonight, dear Kiwis, we have another Date Night recipe I've been tweaking:

Pan Seared Chicken Thighs in Mustard Cream Sauce

It was originally an Ina Garten creation, but I'm sad to report her palette remains rather reserved for my tastes, the end product being a bland, uninvolved affair offering the bare minimum of some fairly pricey additions (how do you ask people to add 8 oz of creme fraiche and do this little with it? It's like 9 bucks per 8 oz, and all it adds is richness, you need more than that as a main focus). The recipe below is what I've tweaked so far (the main recipe called for way less mustard and white wine, and no garlic at all), though this may need further testing, so new chefs beware.

Ingredients

8 medium bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs (Check instructions for notes here, this might be wrong)

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

1 tablespoon minced garlic

A few splashes of good olive oil

2 cups halved and thinly sliced yellow onions

A generous splash of dry white wine

8 ounces creme fraiche

3 tablespoons good Dijon mustard

2 teaspoons whole-grain mustard

A large bunch of fresh chopped fresh parsley

Instructions (my notes are in italics):
  1. Place the chicken thighs on a cutting board, skin side up, and pat them dry with paper towels. Sprinkle the chicken with 1 1/2 teaspoons salt and 3/4 teaspoon pepper (you might need a good bit more, Garten does not like to season her food. Add salt and pepper until they look properly seasoned). Turn them over and sprinkle them with one more teaspoon of salt (and pepper, season both sides well).
  2. Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in a large (11 to 12-inch) cast-iron skillet (you might need even larger, or fewer chicken thighs, I have no idea why she thinks 8 chicken thighs will fit in a 12 inch cast iron skillet) over medium heat. When the oil is hot, place the chicken in the pan in one layer, skin side down. Cook over medium heat for 15 minutes without moving, until the skin is golden brown. (If the skin gets too dark, turn the heat to medium low.) Turn the chicken pieces with tongs, add the onions (and garlic) to the pan, including under the chicken, and cook over medium heat for 15 minutes, stirring the onions occasionally, until the thighs are cooked to 155 to 160 degrees and the onions are browned. Transfer the chicken (not the onions) to a plate and allow to rest uncovered while you make the sauce. If the onions aren't browned, cook them for another minute.
  3. Add the wine, creme fraiche, Dijon mustard, whole-grain mustard, and 1 teaspoon salt to the skillet and stir over medium heat for one minute. Return the chicken, skin side up, and the juices to the skillet, sprinkle with parsley, and serve hot.

    Jangles notes:
    We have here the basis for a really excellent dish, I did it with a side of roast potatoes and asparagus tips, but the original recipe's measurements were really much too conservative, and all you end up tasting is creme fraiche. I've bumped up the white wine and mustard, and added garlic, which was great, but in future batches I'm considering the addition of tarragon and perhaps even rosemary to add a nice herbal bite to counter the richness of the creme fraiche. Revisions to follow, but a solid jumping off point, and if any of you find a way to make this pop a little more, I'd be much obliged. This dish is begging for something to cut the richness from all the cream, I'd almost nix the onions altogether and focus on a more herbal or citrus bite. Do give feedback, good or bad if you make it, and happy cooking. This thing has the potential to be excellent, but it needs something.

    1569134194826.png
 
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Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.

Original Prick
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Is it really worth $8 more than sour cream or some other substitute for it to be in French? This stuff has never impressed me for its price.
I mean yeeeees, but that’s a very qualified yes.
Creme Fraiche is absolutely more delicate than sour cream in, say, certain very light tomato dishes with eggs where it’d overwhelm the whole deal. I would absolutely demand it in, say, lightening Shakshuka where you’re dealing with very delicate flavors that sour cream might overwhelm.
In this dish? Hell, sour cream would kill it but perhaps a light Greek yogurt might even help the end product?
It’s not a useless product, just an expensive and overused one where cheaper alternatives might do the job. Creme Fraiche is something that is best for plumping a dish that is otherwise light, but in this case it overwhelms a subpar showing.
I actually might consider Greek yogurt for this dish, it’d add tang and be cheaper on the whole, let me test that idea, you bring up a valid point.
TL;DR: Creme Fraiche is the lightest of the creamers. Ideal for when you want to add body without changing the flavor, but in here, it might add more richness than needed. Further testing is needed.
 
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instythot

kiwifarms.net
I mean yeeeees, but that’s a very qualified yes.
Creme Fraiche is absolutely more delicate than sour cream in, say, certain very light tomato dishes with eggs where it’d overwhelm the whole deal. I would absolutely demand it in, say, lightening Shakshuka where you’re dealing with very delicate flavors that sour cream might overwhelm.
In this dish? Hell, sour cream would kill it but perhaps a light Greek yogurt might even help the end product?
It’s not a useless product, just an expensive and overused one where cheaper alternatives might do the job. Creme Fraiche is something that is best for plumping a dish that is otherwise light, but in this case it overwhelms a subpar showing.
I actually might consider Greek yogurt for this dish, it’d add tang and be cheaper on the whole, let me test that idea, you bring up a valid point.
TL;DR: Creme Fraiche is the lightest of the creamers. Ideal for when you want to add body without changing the flavor, but in here, it might add more richness than needed. Further testing is needed.
I might also consider adding a whipping cream and reducing the sauce if you don't want to keep throwing creme fraiche money at this dish while you work the flavors out more fully
 

instythot

kiwifarms.net
Braised meats are low effort and can be impressive, should you care about impressing people with your cooking

Go to your local halal butcher and come back with enough bone in-lamb for four. Shanks work particularly well, but any bone in piece works. If you are one of those people who thinks lamb is gamey and disgusting, get some bone in beef

You will also need:
  • Tomato paste
  • Red wine
  • An onion, diced
  • 4 carrots, in chunks
  • Beef stock
  • a neutral flavored oil
  • Thyme
  • Salt and Pepper
  • A bay leaf
Dry your meat, season well with salt and pepper. Heat some oil in a large, heavy pot over medium-high and brown the meat on all sides. For the novices: the goal with browning meat is to sear it and put a crust on the outside, not to cook the meat. Remove meat to a plate, reduce heat to medium. Sautee onion and carrot until onions are caramelized (starting to become translucent). You can also add garlic during this step.

Deglaze the pan with a cup of red wine. When selecting a wine for cooking, a good rule is to never cook with a wine you wouldn't drink. Here, a bold red is good as the rest of the bottle goes well with lamb. Add a cup of beef stock and fresh thyme to taste. Stir in 3 or 4 tablespoons of tomato paste.

When the deglazing liquid comes to a boil return the meat to the pot. Add enough water to just barely cover the meat, drop in a bay leaf, reduce heat to medium low and cover. Wait 90 minutes or so, remove the meat and carrots and reduce the sauce.

What you now have after about a half hour of active work is some delicious and tender meat, a vegetable side dish, a tasty demiglace and a paired wine for the meal. The obvious accompaniment is mashed potatoes, which are even easier than this to prepare. Put a little effort into presentation, and you'll soon be sheepishly accepting compliments for doing next to nothing
 

RLS0812

Worthless Garbage
kiwifarms.net
How a fat lazy northern slob interprets Louisiana cooking

I was forced to cook while in Louisiana --- I'm from New England --- north & deep south cooking styles are not very compatible.

This is my own lazy interpretation of a southern recipe involving crawfish ( crayfish ) for 6 -8 people . Everyone who has tried it likes it a lot ( northerner and southerner ) .

Keeping with deep southern tradition, all measurements are not 'exact' and can be adjusted or substituted to taste .

1.5 lbs of egg noodles ( or any noodles )
2 lbs frozen crawfish tail meat ( I'll be d###ed if I'm pealing that much crawfish )
1 cup m1lk
1 cup velveeta cheese sauce ( or any normal cheese if you are willing to pre-melt it )
2 onions
1 green pepper
2 tbs minced garlic
1 tbs black pepper
1 tbs Tony's hot creole seasoning

1: chop and soften the vegetables by frying, or if you are lazy, boiling
2: in a deep pan thoroughly cook the crawfish meat - i'm not joking, cook it very well, or everyone will get the sh##s !
3: start cooking the noodles while the crawfish meat is cooking.
4: once the meat is well cooked, throw in the spices, garlic, softened vegetables, and m1lk. Cook on low-med heat until it comes to a boil
5: get your cheese ready, and drain your noodles once they are done cooking.
6: mix everything together and serve.
7: refrigerate any leftovers immediately - eat within 3 days .
 
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instythot

kiwifarms.net
How a fat lazy northern slob interprets Louisiana cooking

I was forced to cook while in Louisiana --- I'm from New England --- north & deep south cooking styles are not very compatible.

This is my own lazy interpretation of a southern recipe involving crawfish ( crayfish ) for 6 -8 people . Everyone who has tried it likes it a lot ( northerner and southerner ) .

Keeping with deep southern tradition, all measurements are not 'exact' and can be adjusted or substituted to taste .

1.5 lbs of egg noodles ( or any noodles )
2 lbs frozen crawfish tail meat ( I'll be d###ed if I'm pealing that much crawfish )
1 cup m1lk
1 cup velveeta cheese sauce ( or any normal cheese if you are willing to pre-melt it )
2 onions
1 green pepper
2 tbs minced garlic
1 tbs black pepper
1 tbs Tony's hot creole seasoning

1: chop and soften the vegetables by frying, or if you are lazy, boiling
2: in a deep pan thoroughly cook the crawfish meat - i'm not joking, cook it very well, or everyone will get the sh##s !
3: start cooking the noodles while the crawfish meat is cooking.
4: once the meat is well cooked, throw in the spices, garlic, softened vegetables, and m1lk. Cook on low-med heat until it comes to a boil
5: get your cheese ready, and drain your noodles once they are done cooking.
6: mix everything together and serve.
7: refrigerate any leftovers immediately - eat within 3 days .
If you're not removing the crawfish from the pan you cook it in, is there a reason I'm missing not to do the vegetables and crawfish in the same pan, then add the seasonings and tard cum?
 

RLS0812

Worthless Garbage
kiwifarms.net
If you're not removing the crawfish from the pan you cook it in, is there a reason I'm missing not to do the vegetables and crawfish in the same pan, then add the seasonings and m1lk?
It's a lot faster to cook the items at the same time in seperate pans ( especially if you want to properly saute the vegetables ) --- however --- you do not want to mix raw crawfish with anything to avoid accidentally under cooking the meat, or burning the veggies.
 
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instythot

kiwifarms.net
In keeping with the shellfish, creme fraiche and date night themes, some time ago I made this:

Butter Poached Lobster with Cognac Cream Sauce

Prep Time: 1 hour
Cook Time: 40 minutes
Level of Difficulty: Easy
Serving Size: 4 as a main course
Ingredients
  • 4 1- to 1 1/2-pound live lobsters (if using 2- to 3-pound lobsters, add 10 minutes cooking time)
  • kosher salt
Stock
  • 1 tablespoon canola or other mild vegetable oil
  • 1 yellow onion, sliced 1/8-inch thick
  • 1 carrot, sliced 1/8-inch thick
  • 1 fennel bulb or celery stalk, sliced 1/8-inch thick
  • 3 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
  • 2 tablespoons tomato paste
  • 1 teaspoon black peppercorns
Beurre Monté
  • 1/4 cup water
  • Pinch kosher salt
  • 1/2 cup cold, unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
Cognac Sauce
  • 1 shallot, minced
  • 1/2 cup Cognac, brandy or bourbon
  • 1/4 cup dry white wine
  • 1 cup creme fraiche
  • 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
  • 1 tablespoon chopped fresh tarragon
  • 1 tablespoon minced fresh chives
  • salt and freshly ground white pepper
Directions
For the lobster

  1. Select a stockpot large enough to accommodate all of the lobsters at the same time. Fill the pot two-thirds full with water, salt the water generously (use about 2 tablespoons salt per 4 cups water), and bring to a boil over high heat. If you do not have a pot large enough to cook all of the lobsters at once, cook the lobsters in batches, dismember them as instructed, setting aside the claws, and then cook all of the claws together as directed. Have ready an ice water bath for shocking the lobsters and the lobster pieces as they emerge from the boiling water.
  2. Working with 1 lobster at a time, place the point of a heavy chef’s knife at the joint where the head meets the body (right behind the eyes) and cut downward in one fluid movement, driving the knife, tip first, all of the way through the head. The lobster may continue to move a bit, but rest assured that it’s on the express route to a watery grave.
  3. Using tongs, submerge the whole lobsters in the boiling water and cook for 1 minute. Their shells will turn red. Transfer the parboiled lobsters to the ice water bath and chill until cool enough to handle, at least 2 minutes. Remove from the ice water bath and, using a twisting motion, pull the tail and claws from each body. Set aside the tails (and the legs if using). The tomalley (liver) can also be pulled from the body cavity and saved for adding to the sauce later, if desired.
  4. Once all of the lobsters have been dismembered, return the claws to the boiling water, lower the heat to a simmer, and cook for 4 minutes. (They need to be cooked longer so you can remove the meat from the shells.) Transfer the claws to the ice water bath (adding more ice if necessary) and chill until cool enough to handle, at least 2 minutes, and then remove from the ice bath. Discard the lobster cooking water.
  5. Remove the meat from the shells, reserving the shells for the stock. (This process will be easier on your hands if you wear rubber gloves.) To remove the meat from the tail, using kitchen shears or a sharp knife, cut lengthwise along the center of the bottom shell, taking care not to cut into the flesh. With the cut side facing up, grasp both sides of the shell and pull them in opposite directions to crack the shell open, then gently pull free of the shell.
  6. Now, separate the “knuckles” from the claws. Cut all the way through the outside edge of the shell along the “elbow” (shears are particularly helpful for this task) and then pull the shell apart and remove the knuckle meat, or poke it out with a chopstick. To remove the meat from the large pincer section of each claw, crack the back of the shell (behind the upper, larger claw) with kitchen shears or the back of a heavy knife, exposing the base of the meat. Remove the shell from the lower claw by pulling it open until it begins to separate from the meat at the joint, then wiggle it off. (A hard cartilage-like piece will pull out of the meat along with the shell, so be careful not to tear the meat off along with it.) Once the lower shell is removed, pull the claw meat out whole, wrenching apart the cracked shell as needed to release it.
  7. When all of this is done, you should have 4 whole tails, 8 whole claws, and assorted knuckle meat. At this point, the meat can be refrigerated until you’re ready to cook it sous vide.
  8. Preheat your sous vide water bath to 55°C (131.2°F). If you prefer your lobster meat a bit firmer, set it to 60°C (140°F).
  9. While the water is heating, start making the stock. Heat the oil in a large stockpot or saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the onion, carrot, fennel, and garlic and cook, stirring constantly, until the onion turns translucent and just begins to color, 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in the tomato paste, followed by the reserved shell pieces, and cook for 1 minute more. Add the peppercorns and enough water to just cover the pieces and bring the mixture to a boil. Turn down the heat and simmer for 20 minutes.
  10. Strain the liquid through a fine-mesh sieve, discarding the solids. Return the liquid to the pot, bring to a boil over high heat, and boil until reduced to about ½ cup intensely flavored liquid. Remove from the heat and set aside to add to the Cognac sauce later.
  11. Once you get the stock going, make the beurre monté. Combine the water and salt in a small saucepan and bring to a boil over medium heat. Add the butter a few pieces at a time, blending in each addition with a whisk or an immersion blender and letting the liquid return to a simmer before adding the next piece. It’s important to keep the mixture simmering to ensure the butter is heat stable. This will happen almost effortlessly with an immersion blender, but be sure to whisk vigorously if you are incorporating the butter by hand. The finished sauce will be as thick as cream and should remain the same solid off-white color as the cold butter, with no yellow droplets of oil. If the sauce doesn’t emulsify, continue to simmer it and add additional butter. When the beurre monté is ready, remove it from the heat.
  12. Allow the beurre monté to cool for 5 minutes, then place the cleaned lobster meat in a gallon-size freezer-safe ziplock bag and pour in the beurre monté. Seal using the water displacement method.
  13. When the water reaches the target temperature, lower the bagged lobster into the water bath (making sure the bag is fully submerged) and cook for 20 minutes.
  14. While the lobster is cooking, make the Cognac sauce. Combine the shallot, Cognac, wine, and reduced stock in a small saucepan and bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Cook until reduced by half, about 5 minutes. Lower the heat to medium and stir in the crème fraîche. If desired, add the reserved lobster tomalley, finely chopped or pureed, to the sauce at this point. Let the mixture simmer until it is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon, about 5 minutes longer, and then turn the heat to its lowest setting and cover the pot to keep the sauce warm until you’re ready to finish it.
  15. When the lobster is ready, remove the bag from the water bath. Using a slotted spoon, transfer the lobster pieces to a serving bowl or platter. Pour the beurre monté remaining in the bag into the Cognac sauce. Stir in the lemon juice, tarragon, and chives and season with the salt and pepper. The sauce can be poured directly over the lobster or served on the side. Serve immediately.
I followed directions almost exactly, with one major exception, changing the sous vide lobster temperature. After a little research at foodlabs, I decided I'd prefer trying a lobster at 125 Fahrenheit. I've learned that their temperatures tend to skew a little on the rare side to my liking, so I'll typically add 3 or 4 degrees to my desired doneness, plus a couple of degrees for working with shellfish.

Results were spectacularly delicious, and as I suspected, the dish is best served as an unaccompanied course. The salad course was a stacked caprese salad to offset the richness of the main, and dessert was individual lava cakes. If you're careful with removing the meat from the shells, they can be used to put together an attractive presentation of the main.

Would I make this again, however? That is definitely a "yes and no" answer. The prep and cooking times are outrageously underestimated (reducing a large stock pot to a half cup alone is lucky to happen within 40 minutes, not even getting into the post reduction work). Additionally, I wouldn't rate a dish involving live lobsters as simply "easy". While the actual work is easy, there's some equipment and preparations somewhat beyond the ordinary required. One of the major draws of sous vide cooking is freeing yourself from the tyranny of the cooktop while you do anything else, so it would be a very tough sell to get me to try this again as laid out. That being said, the result was wonderful.

What I learned from this adventure:

I went into this indifferent to lobster. A more rare lobster than is traditional is a vastly superior eating experience. I would definitely do the butter poached lobster part of this again.

This was my first time working with live lobsters. next time, the prep area will be have some towels laid down and I'll have a fishing or silicone cooking glove to get a better grip on the things while killing them

The reduction step is goddamned ridiculous. I would start with a commercial lobster bouillon from a higher end market if I were to make the sauce again. The end result was a deep reddish brown, still translucent and about the consistency of a warm balsamic reduction, so that would be approximately the target when starting from bouillon

I either severely under sauced the lobster, or this produces way more sauce than you'll need. No matter, though, the remaining sauce is also amazing tossed with linguine the next day
 

Buster O'Keefe

Enjoys offal
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
In keeping with the shellfish, creme fraiche and date night themes, some time ago I made this:

Butter Poached Lobster with Cognac Cream Sauce

Prep Time: 1 hour
Cook Time: 40 minutes
Level of Difficulty: Easy
Serving Size: 4 as a main course
Ingredients
  • 4 1- to 1 1/2-pound live lobsters (if using 2- to 3-pound lobsters, add 10 minutes cooking time)
  • kosher salt
Stock
  • 1 tablespoon canola or other mild vegetable oil
  • 1 yellow onion, sliced 1/8-inch thick
  • 1 carrot, sliced 1/8-inch thick
  • 1 fennel bulb or celery stalk, sliced 1/8-inch thick
  • 3 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
  • 2 tablespoons tomato paste
  • 1 teaspoon black peppercorns
Beurre Monté
  • 1/4 cup water
  • Pinch kosher salt
  • 1/2 cup cold, unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
Cognac Sauce
  • 1 shallot, minced
  • 1/2 cup Cognac, brandy or bourbon
  • 1/4 cup dry white wine
  • 1 cup creme fraiche
  • 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
  • 1 tablespoon chopped fresh tarragon
  • 1 tablespoon minced fresh chives
  • salt and freshly ground white pepper
Directions
For the lobster

  1. Select a stockpot large enough to accommodate all of the lobsters at the same time. Fill the pot two-thirds full with water, salt the water generously (use about 2 tablespoons salt per 4 cups water), and bring to a boil over high heat. If you do not have a pot large enough to cook all of the lobsters at once, cook the lobsters in batches, dismember them as instructed, setting aside the claws, and then cook all of the claws together as directed. Have ready an ice water bath for shocking the lobsters and the lobster pieces as they emerge from the boiling water.
  2. Working with 1 lobster at a time, place the point of a heavy chef’s knife at the joint where the head meets the body (right behind the eyes) and cut downward in one fluid movement, driving the knife, tip first, all of the way through the head. The lobster may continue to move a bit, but rest assured that it’s on the express route to a watery grave.
  3. Using tongs, submerge the whole lobsters in the boiling water and cook for 1 minute. Their shells will turn red. Transfer the parboiled lobsters to the ice water bath and chill until cool enough to handle, at least 2 minutes. Remove from the ice water bath and, using a twisting motion, pull the tail and claws from each body. Set aside the tails (and the legs if using). The tomalley (liver) can also be pulled from the body cavity and saved for adding to the sauce later, if desired.
  4. Once all of the lobsters have been dismembered, return the claws to the boiling water, lower the heat to a simmer, and cook for 4 minutes. (They need to be cooked longer so you can remove the meat from the shells.) Transfer the claws to the ice water bath (adding more ice if necessary) and chill until cool enough to handle, at least 2 minutes, and then remove from the ice bath. Discard the lobster cooking water.
  5. Remove the meat from the shells, reserving the shells for the stock. (This process will be easier on your hands if you wear rubber gloves.) To remove the meat from the tail, using kitchen shears or a sharp knife, cut lengthwise along the center of the bottom shell, taking care not to cut into the flesh. With the cut side facing up, grasp both sides of the shell and pull them in opposite directions to crack the shell open, then gently pull free of the shell.
  6. Now, separate the “knuckles” from the claws. Cut all the way through the outside edge of the shell along the “elbow” (shears are particularly helpful for this task) and then pull the shell apart and remove the knuckle meat, or poke it out with a chopstick. To remove the meat from the large pincer section of each claw, crack the back of the shell (behind the upper, larger claw) with kitchen shears or the back of a heavy knife, exposing the base of the meat. Remove the shell from the lower claw by pulling it open until it begins to separate from the meat at the joint, then wiggle it off. (A hard cartilage-like piece will pull out of the meat along with the shell, so be careful not to tear the meat off along with it.) Once the lower shell is removed, pull the claw meat out whole, wrenching apart the cracked shell as needed to release it.
  7. When all of this is done, you should have 4 whole tails, 8 whole claws, and assorted knuckle meat. At this point, the meat can be refrigerated until you’re ready to cook it sous vide.
  8. Preheat your sous vide water bath to 55°C (131.2°F). If you prefer your lobster meat a bit firmer, set it to 60°C (140°F).
  9. While the water is heating, start making the stock. Heat the oil in a large stockpot or saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the onion, carrot, fennel, and garlic and cook, stirring constantly, until the onion turns translucent and just begins to color, 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in the tomato paste, followed by the reserved shell pieces, and cook for 1 minute more. Add the peppercorns and enough water to just cover the pieces and bring the mixture to a boil. Turn down the heat and simmer for 20 minutes.
  10. Strain the liquid through a fine-mesh sieve, discarding the solids. Return the liquid to the pot, bring to a boil over high heat, and boil until reduced to about ½ cup intensely flavored liquid. Remove from the heat and set aside to add to the Cognac sauce later.
  11. Once you get the stock going, make the beurre monté. Combine the water and salt in a small saucepan and bring to a boil over medium heat. Add the butter a few pieces at a time, blending in each addition with a whisk or an immersion blender and letting the liquid return to a simmer before adding the next piece. It’s important to keep the mixture simmering to ensure the butter is heat stable. This will happen almost effortlessly with an immersion blender, but be sure to whisk vigorously if you are incorporating the butter by hand. The finished sauce will be as thick as cream and should remain the same solid off-white color as the cold butter, with no yellow droplets of oil. If the sauce doesn’t emulsify, continue to simmer it and add additional butter. When the beurre monté is ready, remove it from the heat.
  12. Allow the beurre monté to cool for 5 minutes, then place the cleaned lobster meat in a gallon-size freezer-safe ziplock bag and pour in the beurre monté. Seal using the water displacement method.
  13. When the water reaches the target temperature, lower the bagged lobster into the water bath (making sure the bag is fully submerged) and cook for 20 minutes.
  14. While the lobster is cooking, make the Cognac sauce. Combine the shallot, Cognac, wine, and reduced stock in a small saucepan and bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Cook until reduced by half, about 5 minutes. Lower the heat to medium and stir in the crème fraîche. If desired, add the reserved lobster tomalley, finely chopped or pureed, to the sauce at this point. Let the mixture simmer until it is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon, about 5 minutes longer, and then turn the heat to its lowest setting and cover the pot to keep the sauce warm until you’re ready to finish it.
  15. When the lobster is ready, remove the bag from the water bath. Using a slotted spoon, transfer the lobster pieces to a serving bowl or platter. Pour the beurre monté remaining in the bag into the Cognac sauce. Stir in the lemon juice, tarragon, and chives and season with the salt and pepper. The sauce can be poured directly over the lobster or served on the side. Serve immediately.
I followed directions almost exactly, with one major exception, changing the sous vide lobster temperature. After a little research at foodlabs, I decided I'd prefer trying a lobster at 125 Fahrenheit. I've learned that their temperatures tend to skew a little on the rare side to my liking, so I'll typically add 3 or 4 degrees to my desired doneness, plus a couple of degrees for working with shellfish.

Results were spectacularly delicious, and as I suspected, the dish is best served as an unaccompanied course. The salad course was a stacked caprese salad to offset the richness of the main, and dessert was individual lava cakes. If you're careful with removing the meat from the shells, they can be used to put together an attractive presentation of the main.

Would I make this again, however? That is definitely a "yes and no" answer. The prep and cooking times are outrageously underestimated (reducing a large stock pot to a half cup alone is lucky to happen within 40 minutes, not even getting into the post reduction work). Additionally, I wouldn't rate a dish involving live lobsters as simply "easy". While the actual work is easy, there's some equipment and preparations somewhat beyond the ordinary required. One of the major draws of sous vide cooking is freeing yourself from the tyranny of the cooktop while you do anything else, so it would be a very tough sell to get me to try this again as laid out. That being said, the result was wonderful.

What I learned from this adventure:

I went into this indifferent to lobster. A more rare lobster than is traditional is a vastly superior eating experience. I would definitely do the butter poached lobster part of this again.

This was my first time working with live lobsters. next time, the prep area will be have some towels laid down and I'll have a fishing or silicone cooking glove to get a better grip on the things while killing them

The reduction step is goddamned ridiculous. I would start with a commercial lobster bouillon from a higher end market if I were to make the sauce again. The end result was a deep reddish brown, still translucent and about the consistency of a warm balsamic reduction, so that would be approximately the target when starting from bouillon

I either severely under sauced the lobster, or this produces way more sauce than you'll need. No matter, though, the remaining sauce is also amazing tossed with linguine the next day
Great write up, and bonus stickers for giving the lobsters a swift exit before cooking.