KiwiFarms Open Recipe Book -

[AnOminous]

Do want a grilled cheese sandwhich? Do you also want a pizza? Why not have both?

Grilled Pizza Sandwich

• Toast and butter bread.
• Use 2 slices of provolone cheese.
• Put pizza sauce in between the cheese.
• Fry until cheese is melted.

It's nothing revolutionary, but I enjoying making them once in a while!

Something I do with grilled cheese I haven't seen anyone else do is toast the inside, too. I start by toasting both slices of bread while the stovetop is heating up, until they're nicely browned. Then I put the cheese on the now-hot inside, add more butter, put it back in the skillet, and flip it once. Once the stovetop is heated up, the final step just takes a couple minutes.

Also the cheese starts melting instantly on contact with the toast so it is gooey and melted by the time it's toasted on the outside.

 

[Smarmy]

My mom is going through my grandmother's old recipe book and sending me some of her favorites from when she was growing up. This recipe is apparently for a WWII Era cake that was the go-to cake for everything. It's super dense, but apparently also super good.

(Grand)Mom's Wacky Cake

Ingredients:

• 3 cups flour
• 5 heaping tablespoons cocoa powder
• 2 cups sugar
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 10 tablespoons oil
• 2 tablespoons vinegar
• 2 teaspoons vanilla
• 2 cups cold water

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 325 F
2. Combine flour, cocoa powder, sugar, baking soda, and salt
3. Create three wells in the dry mixture, and put oil in one, vinegar in one, and vanilla in one
4. Pour cold water over everything, and then stir to combine
5. Pour batter into UNGREASED pan
6. Bake for 45 minutes

Frosting

Ingredients:

• 2 cups powdered sugar, sifted
• 1/8 cup butter
• 1/8 cup shortening
• 1 egg
• 3 tablespoons cocoa powder
• 1 tsp vanilla
• Millk

Instructions

1. Cream ingredients together to make a buttercream
2. Add milk if necessary to reach a "spreading consistency"

 

[Giera]

I make this shit when I'm alone and have a lot of time. Which is all the time now.

Spoiler: CHIX CORDON BLEU IF YOU HAVE NO LIFE AND ALL THE TIME

Serves one of course
Ingredients:
1 skinless and boneless chicken breast
Salt and pepper
1 thin slice ham
1 thin slice cheddar or swiss
1/8 tsp dry thyme leaves. Or if you grow that shit, 2 tsp fresh thyme leaves
1/4 cup flour (all purpose)
1 cup breadcrumbs
1 egg
1 tsp water or: tears of your enemies
oil

preheat the oven to 350 degrees (Fahrenheit)
cover the chicken breast using two pieces of plastic wrap
using a meat mallet or any other hammer like object, attack the chicken gently til the thickness of the chicken is 1/4 inch
don't fucking smash it unless you want it to tear
lay the cheese slice on the chicken, then adding the ham. if you want more cheese add another slice of cheese to the ham
tuck in the chicken and roll that shit tight like a joint
put flour, egg and breadcrumbs in separate bowls. do it: dry(flour)-wet(egg)-dry (breadcrumbs)
season flour with salt and pepper.
season breadcrumbs with the thyme, salt, pepper, and whatever other spices you want i aint picky
beat eggs with the water, til it is watery as fuck
do the dry-wet-dry thing with the chicken before placing it into a hot very-oiled pan. do NOT use the same hand when doing the dry-wet-dry procedure unless you wanna wash breading off your hands
cook the chicken in the oil until lightly browned. put it on an oven proof pan and bake it in the oven until firm and medium brown.
done

Spoiler: Fried Veggies

1 batch

Ingredients:
1 beaten egg
1 cup millk
10 tbsp cake flour (makes it light as fuck)
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
whatever spice you want (i like paprika)

combine egg and millk
mix all dry ingredients
add drys to egg millk
mix well
should be like pancake batter
dip veggies in and fry that shit. fucking delicious
done

 

[horrorfan89]

Ever felt like embracing your inner Hannibal lecter?


1 veal calf brain
1 veal sweet breads (thyroid and pancreas)

1 tbs of kosher salt
3 cups water
2 cups mïlk
A bit of olive oil
3 cups Panko or tempura grade bread crumbs
A few sprigs of whole rosemary
A dash of pepper to taste


Soak the calf brains and sweet breads in a brine of the salt water for 20 mins chilled, drain soak in the mîlk bath but do not drain. Grease a skillet with the oil and heat over low to medium heat. Move the meat from the mïlk wash to the bread crumbs and delicately bread lightly coated. Once coated add the rosemary to the oil until they release a fragrance. Lightly saute the meats in oil until the coating turns golden but do NOT over cook especially the brains as over cooking will cause shrinkage. Move to a plate and serve with fava bean paste on Melba toast and a light crisp white wine like Chianti.

 

[Least Concern]

I found this easy-ass mac and cheese recipe a few weeks back and have made it twice since, and both times it was great.

tl:dw; Roughly equal parts of noodles (it doesn't have to be macaroni but some sort of short stubby pasta is best), evaporated m-ilk (not condensed m-ilk; if you think you might get it mixed up, check the label before buying. If it has some sort of sweetener in it, put it back on the shelf and buy the other thing), and grated hard cheese. I used pepper-jack for the cheese once, and that was good, but the next time I did it with half pepper-jack and half cheddar, and that was better. I also fried up some bacon, chopped that up, and mixed it in on the second batch for some more flavor.

Put the pasta in a pot and cover it with cold salted water (don't add too much water). Bring to a boil. Once most of the water has evaporated and it's just the al-dente-ish pasta in a thick starch slurry, toss in the evaporated m-ilk and cheese (don't drain the pasta). The evaporated m-ilk will let the cheese melt into something more similar to a cheese sauce than you get from just melting a non-processed cheese by itself. Stir frequently until it's recognizable mac and cheese, tossing in your mix-ins along the way.

The prep time doesn't take that long, and the cook time is pretty much the same as a boxed mac and cheese, but with a much better result. I definitely recommend this if you want a quick side for your main dish. It refrigerates and microwaves well so you can make a big batch and eat it over a few days.

 

[Smarmy]

I found a youtube channel for this woman named Maangchi, and she does Korean cooking. I really want to try her recipes one day, but even if I never get around to it, her videos are just so pleasant to watch. Figured I'd share
Cooking Korean Food with Maangchi

Here's a video recipe for Bo-ssam:

 

[Orion Balls]

Dump Cobbler

In a small bowl, mix together:
-1c flour
-2t baking powder
-1/2t salt

In a second small bowl, whisk up:
-1c milk
-2t vanilla extract

In a third, larger bowl, combine:
-4T softened unsalted butter
-1c gran sugar.
Cream with hand mixer about two minutes.
Incorporate dry ingredients and wet ingredients to the bowl in two batches.
Pour mixture into greased 9x13" pan.

Sprinkle over the dough:
-4c Whatever fruit you want, plus whatever bit of seasoning you like on it. (Blueberries with lemon zest and OJ is great! Frozen Blackberries will dissolve, so it's not recommend.)
-1/2c gran sugar
-4T softened unsalted butter, dotted on surface

Pour:
-1c boiling water
Over the entire thing

Bake at 350°F for 45 mins, or until golden.

Easy peasy cobbler.

 

[Whatthefuck]

I found a youtube channel for this woman named Maangchi, and she does Korean cooking. I really want to try her recipes one day, but even if I never get around to it, her videos are just so pleasant to watch. Figured I'd share
Cooking Korean Food with Maangchi

Here's a video recipe for Bo-ssam:

Maangchi is amazing. I've tried many of her recipes, never been disappointed. And, you're right, she's just so pleasant and the video quality is very good.

 

[instythot]

Maangchi is amazing. I've tried many of her recipes, never been disappointed. And, you're right, she's just so pleasant and the video quality is very good.

I tried watching a couple and found too much talking about cooking and looking young, and not nearly enough actual cooking. But I also miss when food channels on cable were instructional rather than competition shows centered around ingredients nobody wants

 

[Mr. Skeltal]

Mr. Skeltal's Aromatic Pork Roast

Ingredients
1 center cut pork loin roast (~2lbs)
3-6 stalks of Celery
3-6 Carrots
1 Onion
1 Shallot
1 Fennel bulb
Fresh Parsley
Fresh Thyme
2 tbsp Butter (Margarine works as well)
2.5 fluid ounces White Wine
2.5 fluid ounces Chicken Stock

Spices
Salt
Pepper
Ground Sage

Procedure
Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
Heat butter/margarine in a medium sized Dutch oven over medium high heat.
Peel and roughly chop vegetables.
Pat roast dry and coat with salt, pepper, and ground sage.
Sear roast until all sides are a golden brown. Set aside roast.
Chop parsley and strip thyme leaves.
Place vegetables into Dutch oven and saute until aromatic.
Add herbs.
Deglaze with wine, stirring regularly.
Add chicken stock, bring to simmer.
Reintroduce pork roast fat cap up and nestle into vegetables.
Cover, place into 350°F oven for 45 minutes.
After 45 minutes have elapsed, check on roast, measuring temperature if necessary (185°F internal).
Remove lid, set oven to broil and set timer for 5 minutes.
Remove from oven, remove roast from pan and let rest for 10 minutes.
Cut and serve warm with roasting vegetables.

 

[Buster O'Keefe]

I'm going to shit up this thread now by requesting a recipe: I would like a practical, no fuss and road tested recipe for corn bread dressing/ stuffing.
(I have stale cornbread)

 

[Gus]

If you pan fry spinach with oil, and take it off the oil when you're done, you'll have green oil. If you scramble eggs in that, you'll have green eggs.

 

[T_Holygrail_Jesuschrist 2]

Here's a recipe for the Pimento Loaf- Mortadella Combo Panini
Ingredients -
2 slices of Mortadella
1 slice of Pimento loaf
2 slices of Provolone
1 tortilla wrap
A Panini presser (or a George Foreman Grill)

Process -
First, Place your tortilla wrap onto a paper towel
then put down the 2 slices of provolone in the middle
After that, place the slice of pimento loaf on top of the provolone
After that, put one slice of mortadella on the left side of the wrap
and the other slice on the right side. When you are done, roll the tortilla up.
After which, spray the panini presser with cooking spray (Recommended for best results: PAM spray)
then turn on the presser, and place your wrapped tortilla in the presser.
Wait about a minute for it to done, then take it out of the presser using a spatula or a fork
and put it on a place. When you are done, you can enjoy your pimento loaf- mortadella combo panini.

 

[Smarmy]

Low Carb Mashed Cauliflower with Cashews

-1 head cauliflower
-1 13.5 oz can coconut milk
-2 handfuls cashews
-salt, to taste
-nutmeg, to taste

1. Soak cashews in cold water for up to 4 hours. Drain, and then add to a mess/large sauce pan (or pot, whichever works best for you)
2. Chop cauliflower into florets and add to pan
3. Add coconut milk, then set to boil. I prefer to cover the pan so that it cooks faster.
4. Boil until cauliflower is pretty soft. You don’t want to cook it to death, but you want it soft all the way through.
5. Turn off heat, and either mash with a potato masher, or blend in a food processor or blender until mostly smooth.
6. Add salt and nutmeg, then blend/mash until smooth. It’s going to have a texture, but you don’t want big clumps of cauliflower or cashews.
7. Repeat seasoning/blend until it suits your taste.

If you don’t like coconut milk, you can use 1.75 cups of heavy cream. Nutmeg is also optional, but it goes really well with the nutty flavor the cashews add.
Makes a shit ton. Plenty for leftovers.

 

[RichardMongler]

South African-style Beef Trinchado

Ingredients:

• 2 kg / 4.5 lbs of steak cubes, preferably chuck, skirt, ribeye and/or rump roast cut into 4cm / 1.5 in cubes
• 50 ml / 1.7 fl oz. Worcestershire sauce or soy sauce
• 50 ml / 1.7 fl oz. olive oil
• 50 ml / 1.7 fl oz. butter
• 2+ onions (one yellow, one sweet), finely chopped
• 10+ garlic cloves, crushed or chopped
• 15 ml+ / 1+ tbsp. cayenne pepper or chili powder (add more depending on preference)
• 3 bay leaves
• 500 ml / 2 cups beef stock
• 125 ml / 0.5 cup brandy
• 125 ml / 0.5 cup red wine
• 15+ ml / 1+ tbsp. salt (adjust as needed for preference)
• 5ml / 1 tsp. black pepper
• One small can of black olives, thoroughly drained and washed
• 250 ml / 1 cup cream
• Lemon zest / grated rind of a lemon

Instructions:

1. Pour Worcestershire / soy sauce over steak. You may also marinate them overnight, but drain the marinade or wash the meat before cooking to prevent oversalting the dish.
2. Heat the pot. Add the olive oil, butter and fry about 1/3 of the meat or as much as fits in the pot.
3. Take cooked meat out and place in a bowl. Add more oil and butter then fry the next third. By the time you get to the last batch of steak cubes there will be enough oil and fat left in the pot. You may fry all the meat if the pot is sufficiently big. When the last batch of meat is browned, put back all the other meat into the pot, unless you fried it all at once.
4. In a separate pot (or same if you removed the cooked meat), add the chopped onions, minced garlic, cayenne pepper and bay leaves; then fry for about 10 minutes until the onions are soft. Add meat back in once minced garlic and chopped onions are sufficiently fried.
5. Pour in the beef stock, brandy, wine, salt and pepper. Heat until the sauce starts to simmer, then cover with a lid and continue to gently simmer for 1 hour until the meat is very tender.
6. Remove the lid and stir in the olives, cream and zest / grated lemon rind. Bring to the boil and then cook for a further 10+ minutes, uncovered, until the sauce starts to get thicker.
7. Remove from the stove and let it stand for a few minutes before serving.
8. Serve in bowls and eat using spoons. Goes well with fries, rice or crusty bread.

 

[Heckler1]

Hey fatties. Today I bring you a recipe for a delicious apple lazy custard kind of meme

It makes 2 if you use 9' cake pans

2 Tbsp of Butter (You are going to melt this in the pan(s))

Apples (I use 2 for this recepie) core, peel, and slice. You are going to put these on the bottom of your melty butter pans.


Combine
3-4 eggs
3/4 cup milk
1/4 tsp salt
Optional spices (I like a Tbsp of vanilla and maybe some nutmeg)

Next, add 3/4 cups of flour to your mixture and combine until it is a lumpy mixture with no visible raw flour. It is going to be pretty lumpy, but that is fine.
Once it has been suitably combined pour it over the apples in your pan.

To be extra luxurious top it with cinnamon sugar (just combine cinamon and sugar in a lil jar and shake it up)

Bake for 10 minues at 425 F or about 220 C

Let them cool for a bit then enjoy! Very filling and it takes under a half an hour to make.

 

[Deadwaste]

Hey fatties. Today I bring you a recipe for a delicious apple lazy custard kind of meme

It makes 2 if you use 9' cake pans

2 Tbsp of Butter (You are going to melt this in the pan(s))

Apples (I use 2 for this recepie) core, peel, and slice. You are going to put these on the bottom of your melty butter pans.


Combine
3-4 eggs
3/4 cup milk
1/4 tsp salt
Optional spices (I like a Tbsp of vanilla and maybe some nutmeg)

Next, add 3/4 cups of flour to your mixture and combine until it is a lumpy mixture with no visible raw flour. It is going to be pretty lumpy, but that is fine.
Once it has been suitably combined pour it over the apples in your pan.

To be extra luxurious top it with cinnamon sugar (just combine cinamon and sugar in a lil jar and shake it up)

Bake for 10 minues at 425 F or about 220 C

Let them cool for a bit then enjoy! Very filling and it takes under a half an hour to make.

instructions unclear. i made aunt myrna's party cheese salad instead

 

[Heckler1]

instructions unclear. i made aunt myrna's party cheese salad instead

Congrats, you have succeeded by failing.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

The holiday season has good me feeling especially jolly, maybe too jolly, becasue I decided to construct my own fruicake recipe despite having never consumed fruitcake. All I know is 1. It is often the consistancy of a doorstop and 2. It is often ruined with candied fruit. I set out to make an all-tasty dried fruit non brick cake so I Frankensteined a few recipes together. Also with all those fiber-rich fruits you'll have a guaranteed visit from Mr. Hanky!

Granny Reldnahc's Famous Heirloom Fruitcake

1 cup raisins
1 cup dried figs
1/2 prunes
1 cup assorted other dried fruit you have, I used a mix of cherries, cranberries, and dates.
1/4 cup of Jack Daniel's. I think you're supposed to use rum but it's all I had on hand. Captain Morgan might be good in this though.

1 1/2 cup flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
3/4 brown sugar
1 stick of butter, softened on the countertop
1 egg
1 cup applesauce
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp cinnimon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp ground cloves
1/2 tsp ginger

-Chop up your fruits and place in a bowl with your Jack. Cover it in plastic wrap and let it soak up for 24 hours on the countertop.
-Set the oven to 325 and butter or spray up a 4x8 pan, I used a little cast iron one.
-Mix dry ingredients in a bowl and set aside.
-Cream your butter and sugar. Or at least try to, mine didn't cream very well but it turned out fine in the end.
-Mix in the egg, applesauce, and vanilla.
-Mix in the flour mixture, soaked fruit, and spices.
-Pour into the pan and bake for about 1 hour and 10 minutes.

-Once done let it cool for a bit before taking out of the pan, then let the loaf cool completly on a wire rack. Soak a piece of cheesecloth in Jack, you won't need very much, and tightly wrap the loaf. Wrap it in wax paper, taping it shut if needed, and stick it in a ziplock bag. Place in the fridge for about a week as the Fruitcake Intensifies.
-When ready to impress and or terrify your family, take it out and warm in the microwave for like, 20 seconds.

 

[Bibendum]

Mango Sticky Rice
This is my recipe for the famous Thai restaurant dessert. It's super simple so long as you have the proper ingredients and equipment. This recipe requires a steamer -- it can be a traditional Thai rice steamer setup (available on Amazon for ~$20), a traditional Chinese bamboo steamer (which I use), or a pot with a steamer basket.

A note on rice: if you want to make this just like the restaurants do, any old rice will not suffice. Sticky (also called "glutinous" or sometimes "sweet") rices are much more starchy than regular varieties, which will not yield the proper texture. While I'm sure it's possible to make this with short-grain sticky varieties like those used for sushi, ideally you'll source Thai long-grain sticky rice, which has a lovely fragrance and is conveniently available on Amazon.

For the rice:
- 1 c. sticky (glutinous) rice
- 1/2 c. granulated sugar
- 1/2 tsp. salt
- 1 c. (8oz) unsweetened canned coconut milk

For the sauce:
- the remaining canned coconut milk (~6oz)
- 1/4 tsp. salt
- 1 tsp. rice flour or corn starch
- 1 tbsp. water

1. Rinse rice repeatedly (~5x) until water is no longer opaque with starch. Fill pot with water and let rice soak for at least 4 hours. Set up your steamer. If using a Chinese-style bamboo steamer, you can either line it with damp cheesecloth or make a little "basket" with a piece of aluminum foil (poke a bunch of holes in the foil to allow steam to pass through, then fold the edges up so it can hold the rice). Make sure to use enough water to ensure the pot doesn't run dry.
2. Steam rice for 25-30min. While you wait, prepare the syrup so that they can be combined as soon as the rice is done. In a small pot, combine 1 c. coconut milk, sugar, and salt. Heat on medium, stirring occasionally, until ingredients are fully combined into a fluid syrup.
3. Once rice is done steaming, immediately transfer it to a bowl and stir in the hot coconut syrup. Cover tightly with aluminum foil and allow to absorb for ~40min, stirring halfway through.
4. Prepare the sauce. In a small bowl, mix rice flour/cornstarch with cool water until thin slurry forms. In the same pot you used for the syrup, combine remaining coconut milk, salt, and starch slurry. Bring the sauce to a boil, stirring frequently, then quickly turn off heat.
5. By this point, the syrup should be fully absorbed by the rice. Serve with warm sauce over top and sliced mango. Enjoy!