Kiwis kissed by Corona - Official coofer thread

[Arctic Fox]

This virus has spread enough that quite a few users know people who are sick, and / or are sick themselves. Post the symptoms you experience, the situation in your local area, and try to post a video if you're quarantined. At least before the National Guardsman hits you with his gun.

Better here than the main thread. Better suited for parsing news than personal stories.

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

My mom's boss took his family to Disney World a week before news of the outbreak broke, got the symptoms, and the motherfucker still showed up to work coughing and sneezing on employees who have anything from untreated MS to only 30% heart function. ETA: (for reference, he does not work in a medical setting, they're just 50+ and real fucking unlucky. Like imagine barely surviving a widow maker (ON COMPANY PROPERTY) then the boss comes in and starts coofing everywhere... feels bad man.) Mom hasn't caught it (it's been about 14 days) and neither have we. Boss's baby daughter has a high fever that won't break. So it's just the standard what's been reported, coughing, sneezing, fever. People are hoarding like it's the end of the world. AFAIK he's the only confirmed case.

Edit 2: Boss's daughter now reportedly has RSV and is still feverish, along with something else I can't remember for the life of me. Hope she pulls through. Poor boss-man's probably got some hella misplaced self loathing. I know I would. Walmart is pretty much stripped clean, but other supermarket is surprisingly not as far as things like Spam goes. Supermarket #2 also reserves first hour of operation for infirm to minimize contamination risk and death. Limits on daily purchasable toilet paper are also being enforced.

 

[Iceland Heavy]

I've had an annoying dry cough the past couple of days and had seasonal allergies pretty bad a week ago that have cleared up from the rain and being inside, no fever yet but who knows at this point. I don't personally know anyone who's been confirmed to have it and the county went under mandated lockdown a few days ago but it's got to be spreading and it's only a matter of time. All the panic buyers rushing to Costco sure aren't bothering with social distancing.

 

[NIGGER ASS PEE POOPY RAPE]

two days ago I had extremely stinky nuclear farts, possibly the smelliest farts of my life and then a little diarrhea and I thought it might be corona-chan but then everything was fine the next day. I think I just didn't cook a hot pocket long enough.

 

[GreenJacket]

There are 5 known cases in the town I'm shacked up in. At least some of them got it from some sort of medical/bio-engineering conference a few weeks ago. Knowing the demographics of this town, I'm not surprised.

As for me personally, I don't know anyone specifically who has gotten it. I did get a flare up of chest pain last week, but I've been having that chronically for the past 2 years, so it's nothing to worry about.

 

[MuuMuu Bunnylips]

Watching these fucktards panic is one of the funniest things I've ever seen

I tell ya, it's a beautiful time to be alive.

 

[Twinkletard]

i don't know anyone who has, but i haven't talked to anyone but my wife this past week. neither of us have left he house. watching a lot of movies and drinking a lot. won't need to venture out for the foreseeable future, thankfully. stay safe, fuckers.

 

[Mr. Skeltal]

Mrs. Skeltal has some sort of cold right now - sore throat, low grade fever, malaise, nasal congestion. No cough, so I doubt it's the WuFlu unless she develops the unproductive cough, shortness of breath, and debilitating body aches. Her primary care physician told her as much as well she inquired over the phone instead of clogging up her PCP's office.

I have none of her symptoms and feel fine aside from chest tightness that I can only chalk up to a recurrence of my pleurisy from the H3N2 outbreak that occurred during early 2018. Could be smoking cessation related as well, I don't know. I'm probably jumping at shadows tbh.

 

[Hamplanet Fitness]

My fiance has pain when breathing, significant weakness, nausea, a low fever, and a bit of a coof

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

I have a coof, but that's nothing new for someone who gets congested easily

 

[Dysnomia]

I already had to go to the ER last week. My doctor told me to go. They said respiratory virus. They didn't swab me for the flu since I didn't have a fever. My chest was burning but as luck would have it, since I am only really coughing when I walk around, I was not coughing in the ER since I was always sitting or laying down. I felt somewhat better for a few days and now I feel hot and have a sore throat again. My stomach is messed up and I am dizzy. I hope it's just a cold. Might be the flu. Might be the sweet kiss of Corona-chan. But I may have to go back to the ER if it gets any worse.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

My dad went home sick from work on Thursday, but it seems to be more a cold/generic bug vs flu like symptoms. He's not coughing and struggling to breathe. Just has been sleeping all day and drinking ginger ale to soothe his uneasy tummy. One of his co workers is possibly infected, however. He can't go back to work until he gets a doctor note.

I've been coughing and having shortness of breath while walking the dog, but I think it's more pollen related since 1) I'm sensitive to pollen and 2) I recover quickly once I'm back inside. Although I'm often congested and need to take more Benadryl.

The library by my house was closed off because of Corona-Chan exposure a week or so before the other libraries and schools were shut down. My brother almost visited a Corona-Chan kissed Waffle House. You know it's bad when Waffle House is closed. A couple of the counties next to mine are one of the worst infected in the state.

 

[Raiken]

I got a soar throat and dry couth, and because of that i had cold sweat attacks thinking I had it and stayed home just to make sure.
That was 3 days ago and now I only feel it flair up when I get outside.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

There was a COVID-19 scare in one segment of my workplace, so they quarantined the area for the day. The guy was vetted for a stomach virus or a flu or something not COVID-19.

More recently, there was another scare that's entailed an indefinite closure of at least two other segments of my workplace.

I got a soar throat and dry couth, and because of that i had cold sweat attacks thinking I had it and stayed home just to make sure.
That was 3 days ago and now I only feel it flair up when I get outside.

I can't tell if I have a very slight sore throat or I'm developing hypochondria, but I also had intermittent and mild chest tightness/shortness of breath/pseudodysphagia.

Seems to be an outside-my-room phenomenon, really. Driving to and from work, it seems cool air helps? If it's a stress reaction or hypochondria, it'd be a placebo.

Spring's here, and with that is pollen, and with pollen is pollen allergies, so it's going to be hard to not be paranoid about people coughing, sneezing, or clearing their throat around me for anything longer than a one-off.

 

[Charls did nothing wrong]

On Tuesday I had a headache. Sore upper back like stress. Wednesday a little under the weather. By Thursday I felt better so went to work. On Friday a cough surprised me while I was talking to a coworker. When I went to sleep on Friday night I was short of breath. Diarrhoea on Friday Saturday. Now on Saturday night I’m short of breath and my girlfriend and I both have warm heads. I’ll check back in if actually positive.

 

[heathercho]

My fiance has pain when breathing, significant weakness, nausea, a low fever, and a bit of a coof

It's time to get a new fiance.

Seriously though, he probably has the non-wuflu.

Most people are better off if they do get the wuflu now, tbh. Get that herd immunity going.
Unless you're Italian. It seems to be targeting Italian DNA. What did you guys do to the chinks?

Watching these fucktards panic is one of the funniest things I've ever seen

I tell ya, it's a beautiful time to be alive.

I had an experience with a panic buyer today - she was ahead of me at the supermarket stocking up, was told she couldn't have the grand number of multiples she was trying to acquire and promptly chimped out. Stop stripping the shelves like disgusting locusts and you'll have normality restored.

 

[Rice Is Ready]

I was sick for about three days now I'm fine. Sore throat and alot of mucus. When I would blow my nose it had an awful smell. I came into contact with a lot of people at my job so I could have got it there.

 

[Mariposa Colorado]

Don't wanna be a debbie downer but alot of people are sick with the common flu, cold, and bronchitis because we just came out of the winter. I have allergies, granny is sneezing too but that's no beer-virus.

 

[Mr Himmler]

I have aids.

 

[tuscangarder]

I'm pretty sure I have it and I'm scared that I'm going to die. Getting heavy lungs, fever, achey.