At first I thought this was just a lunatic attacking Chris, but judging from her social media footprint, she turns out to be worthy for a thread, and considering the circumstances, a halal on @LagoonaBlue.
Harriet Louise Connor
Quarterbridge College Road, Perth PH13PB
Perth, Perth and Kinross, United Kingdom
DOB: March 20, 1994
To nobody's surprise, Chris ignored all these attempts.
Fortunately for us, she left a link that linked her to her real name, pinned on her twitter account:
https://archive.md/UfK8c (fundraiser link: https://fundraise.cancerresearchuk.org/page/harriets-race-for-life-482)
where I get the name Harriet Connor (About Me), linked to the name "erapony"
Turns out this is her second Facebook account (About, Details, Life Events), where I learned that:
- She uses the nickname Ophelia Lordy and Hazza Jermface
- She abandoned this account due to "harrassment" (https://archive.md/2QflU):
- Classic A-Logging, comparing her autism with Chris'
- And her wonderful 55% grades and passing with 45% grades. To quote a classic heroine of our time, "HONOR ROLL MY ASS":
There's also her deviantART account, linked to her pseudonyms mentioned above: https://archive.md/sS099
Who draws ponies better, Harriet or Chris?
Her journals also contain lots of lulz too:
This shit is why I'm never getting married.
I'm a lot more human than him. I'd never hurt anyone with intention, I feel threatened way too easily, I'm paranoid and a hypochondriac. I try to protect myself as best I can and whilst some things backfire, I still try to learn from my mistakes and try to get on as best I can. I do not need people making smart alec comments and patronising me to try and get me to learn.
I know a few people in the real world who have been like this to me and thankfully they do not know my dA username so I can vent about them here.
I know, I know. But I love him. Yes, I'm angry. NO, I'm not going to stay mad forever.
I'm off to Germany in a month. I'm nervous and I'm certain I'm gonna cry when I land there and see him.
Also I'm now obsessed with JonTron. View attachment 496612
I've been writing a lot of fanfiction recently. For https://archive.md/t39Yt/17b33afbfdb8122da07cb3ddbec94a3d7e2e4ae3.png no less.
I'll post it here soon enough.
I was rudely awoken by my parents this morning and right now I still want to cease to exist. I have honestly never been bullied this bad in my life and wanted it fixed for my birthday. That was all I wanted to happen. But no. Nobody ever sides with me.
I have realised I am a flawed hero. Not a tragic one, like Werther. Although I could be.
Oh well, at least AurumNoble's hopefully taking me on holiday in a few weeks.
She has an alt account, erajermface. Not much going on in there atm.
Oh yeah, she also has a YouTube account, EraPonyProductions, filled with toy unboxing and other interesting stuff.
Her Twitter timeline is also full of sperging about other lolcows too, including @Autphag:
and complaining about being doxed by Sophie Labelle. Keep in mind that even after being doxed, she uses a Twitter account linked to her RL name to harrass Chris (https://archive.md/nAAXR, https://archive.md/jfHEm, https://archive.md/XM1hM). In true lolcow fashion, she never learns.
Also nice job directly outing yourself as @LagoonaBlue
Bold words, coming from someone who never learned about being doxed:
@Hellfire also dug up content related to @LagoonaBlue's ex-boyfriends, which can be found here:
She has at least five boyfriends since 2012, most, if not all of them are bronies.
She was active on the r/AssignedMale subreddit discord too, where she cried about being doxed by Sophie, and later, Kiwi Farms: https://kiwifarms.net/posts/4102383.
Said discord later discovered her thread here, causing her to leave the group: https://kiwifarms.net/posts/4106852/
Her instagram is era_pony (https://www.instagram.com/era_pony/), with lots of pony pics.
(now locked unfortunately)
She has two reddit accounts: KiwiLagoona (http://www.reddit.com/user/KiwiLagoona) and imeverypony (https://archive.md/https://old.reddit.com/user/imeverypony*)
Her Tumblr accounts are a ride in itself too. She has three Tumblrs:
First off is HazzaScottish (http://hazzascottish.tumblr.com) ( http://archive.md/hd3gh)
To sum up, there's:
- JonTron fanboy autism: commissioning a JonTron daki (https://archive.fo/yjiw5), getting a cake with Jontron's face: https://archive.fo/JMzEI), bragging about https://archive.fo/DXOsx, https://archive.fo/rjowA)
- Rick and Morty themed dakimakura(yes, really: https://archive.fo/pci16) and NSFW story and picture:
from https://archive.fo/VwOnBCrying. That’s something you seemed to be doing a lot of as of recent. Your boyfriend broke up with you last week, your best friend moved away to start a new job and your cat had gone missing. She hadn’t gone missing that long ago but you needed her now more than ever. She’d always been there for you since you got her as a kitten eight years ago – through breakups, deaths, illnesses, the whole lot. Wiping the tears from your eyes, you pick up the pile of “Lost cat” posters you’d printed out.
“They aren’t going to put themselves up,” you sigh to yourself, standing up from the sofa you were sat on and walking towards the front door. Slipping off your slippers and putting on a pair of scruffy sandals you amble out the front door, slamming it behind you in a mixture of anger and upset. You really missed your cat and hoped she’d turn up again soon.
As you hang up the first poster on a slightly grotty looking lamppost, you feel a cold, spindly hand on your shoulder. Jumping in shock, you spin round and see your neighbour, a tall old man by the name of Rick. A smirk plays on his lips, and you wonder why he has such a queer expression on his face. It takes you a little while to realise that he’s stood there in nothing but a bathrobe and slippers, and as soon as it sinks in, your face turns crimson. He laughs.
“What are you d-doing, *belch* little lady?” he asks, still grinning, arms folded in front of his sinewy body.
You frown, annoyed that it isn’t obvious to Rick what you’re up to. You want to yell at him “what does it look like, you stupid old man?” but you realise before you open your mouth that that would be incredibly rude. He’s old enough to be your grandfather and your parents had always told you that you don’t talk down to your elders.
“I’m putting up posters, Mr…” you trail off, forgetting his surname. That’s another thing your parents had told you. Don’t refer to your elders by their first names unless you are on incredibly good terms with them. You barely knew Rick. You just knew that his name was Rick, he was living with his family across the road, and that he was a grandfather. His grandkids seemed nice enough – the oldest was three or four years younger than you, as far as you knew, and she was a high school student. You, however, were a college student.
“Sanchez,” he says with a grin. “Don’t call me by my surname or whatever, I-I don’t have the time for formalities.”
You nod, taking in what the man said. You still don’t know why the hell he was outside in next to nothing. Had his family kicked him out? Was he trying to seduce you? You sigh awkwardly, realizing the latter was probably more likely due to the fact that his family seemed genuinely nice. You actually had a crush on this guy, and had done for a little while now. You didn’t usually go for older men, but Rick Sanchez was in great shape for his age. He looked at least twenty years younger. You’d pass by Rick’s house on your way to college every day, and would usually see him tinkering with something outside in his garage. You thought you’d made sure you’d done the whole sorry task incognito, without Rick watching you. How wrong you’d been. How very wrong. The fact that he’d seen you spying on him embarrassed you, and you blush again, turning your back to Rick so you could continue hanging up the poster.
“I-I see your cat’s gone *belch* gone missing,” you hear Rick continue. Reaching up to wipe the slowly forming tears out of your eyes, you sigh and turn to face him yet again.
“Yeah, hence why I’m putting up these posters.”
Rick notices the tears forming in your eyes. He doesn’t show any emotion in response to your upset. You expected him to at least be sympathetic – after all, that’s what you’re meant to do when someone’s hurt, right?
“Poor f-fucking cat,” he replies emotionlessly, running a hand through his hair and letting out a loud belch.
You scowl at him, then turn around and are just about to walk away to put up the next poster when you feel his hand on your shoulder yet again.
“Fuck off,” you mumble under your breath. As much as you have feelings for him, you don’t really want to admit it to him.
“L-listen little-little lady, you should know that I *belch* I know you wanna fuck me.”
You gasp. He’s just confirmed your worst fears. He knows you like him. Goddamn, you think to yourself, this is awkward. Very awkward. So awkward, in fact, that you wish the ground would swallow you up there and then.
All you can muster is a half hearted “that’s nice”, and Rick frowns.
“You should know, that I’d be w-willing to *belch* to fuck you too.”
You’re not sure how to react to that statement. Was he being sincere? Was he playing with you? Maybe it was a combination of both. If you knew he was being sincere, you’d have taken him up on his offer, however you didn’t know Rick well enough to judge whether he was telling the truth or not.
“Sure,” you reply, walking away from Rick, only to hear his footsteps behind you.
“I’m-I’m being fucking serious,” he says with a smirk. “I’m pretty fucking horny and you seem up for it, and given that I know h-how you feel about me, I *belch* thought you might be up for it too.”
You look him up and down. Your stupid brain tells you that this is something you’ve wanted for a while, and that you’d be as well seizing the opportunity whilst Rick was basically handing it to you. Carpe diem and all that jazz. Sighing, you grab his wrist and march back towards your abode. The posters can wait until later.
Pushing open the front door of your house, you sigh and gesture to Rick to come in.
“This is my house. Just go and entertain yourself whilst I get myself sorted out, ok?”
Rick winked cheekily then sauntered off towards your kitchen. Pulling off your sandals, you shuddered a little and let out a deep, heavy sigh. You were about to get laid, and you knew it. You could tell. Your heart was pounding in your chest, your breathing grew heavy, and you just wanted to cry. Nerves overtook you as you remembered you’d only ever had sex once, and that was a one night stand in between boyfriends. Rick would hate his time with you – you figured your severe lack of experience would be a turn off. He seemed like the type who would have a high libido, and who had fucked many women (and possibly even men) in his lifetime. Actually, you thought, this could go either way. He might enjoy your lack of experience. Hell, he might even TEACH you some things along the way. Some guys enjoyed teaching inexperienced women sexual tricks. A clatter from the kitchen snaps you out of your trance and you walk through, hoping your guest hasn’t caused too much damage. Surprisingly, he hasn’t, although he has emptied a few of your cupboards onto the worktop. You look at the stack of plates, then back at the tall man, waiting for him to explain himself.
“Got-got any booze?” he questions. As you shake your head to confirm there is none in the house, Rick sighs.
“Fuck it, I need some right now.”
Grabbing hold of his wrists, you dragging him out of the room as you tut and remind him why exactly he was at your house. Not for alcohol, but for something even greater.
The living room of your house was in a pretty pitiful condition. Burger and candy wrappers littered the floor, energy drink cans piled up around the bin in the corner. You hadn’t had chance to tidy up in a while due to being extremely busy with college. In fact, you very rarely tidied up. Rick looks around the room.
“Yeah, I know it’s a mess,” you sigh. “I’m sorry.”
Rick’s not too fussed about the mess though. He’s more interested in fucking. Grabbing you by the arm, he smirks as he pushes you onto the sofa. You land with a soft thud and gaze up at him, knowing all too well what was probably about to happen.
“I know what you wanna see, little lady,” he leers down at you, reaching for the belt on his bathrobe.
You can feel your cheeks reddening as he undoes the robe. You’ve wanted to see this for quite some time. Noticing your scarlet face, Rick pulls off the robe in one swift movement, and you gasp at the sight before you. It’s glorious – he is surprisingly fit for an older man, and there are barely any wrinkles on his lanky body. The one thing that catches your eye however is his penis. He knows that’s what you wanted to see the most, which is obviously why he didn’t wear any underwear. It’s massive, and the sheer size of his appendage takes you by surprise. Your surprised facial expression causes Rick to give a smug little laugh, as if to say “yeah, I know it’s massive, what of it?”. Although the size is a little daunting, you most definitely want that thing inside you.
“Now-now you,” says Rick, pointing at your still clothed form. “G-get those d-*belch* damn clothes off.”
Standing up, you comply with Rick’s wishes. After all, it’s your fault he’s standing naked in your living room. You’re not wearing much today, just a bra, panties, hoody and jeans, but you were certainly wearing more than Rick had been. The hoody comes off first, your plump breasts springing out as the fabric slides off them. They’re still covered by the lacy white bra you put on earlier, but you decide to rectify that problem by slowly unhooking the bra and flinging it on the floor beside your hoody. The jeans come next, followed by the cute lacy panties you’d decided to wear. You didn’t know why you decided to wear lacy panties today, but you were kind of glad you did as you were about to have sex, even though the man you were going to do the do with wasn’t paying attention to your underwear choices. Rick reaches forward to caress your breasts, and you allow him to do so. After all, you remind yourself, you’ve only had sex once in your life and it happened a good while ago. He’s oddly gentle with your breasts, carefully kneading and caressing them, and occasionally giving your hardened nipples a cheeky pinch. You moan as he squeezes your nipples.
“Y-you like that, huh?” he asks, grinning.
You nod and whimper against his touch. He’s being incredibly careful, and is in fact putting you at ease. He’s making his way down to your vagina now, his bony fingers tracing little patterns down your stomach. Pushing you back onto the sofa with his free hand, he crouches in front of you, erect cock still jutting out, and carefully rubs your clitoris. Again, you gasp and squirm a little bit, however he doesn’t stop. He continues down further, pressing a finger against the slightly moistened entrance. You feel a bony finger slip inside you, then another. It hurts a little, but you don’t mind the pain. After all, it’s Rick Sanchez that’s doing this to you. The guy you’ve had a crush on since you first clapped eyes upon him. You can feel yourself getting wetter as Rick’s fingers prod and writhe around inside you.
“Ah fuck,” you whimper. Rick doesn’t flinch. He’s probably heard so many sex noises from so many people in his life, he doesn’t mind or care about yours. He’s too focused on making you wet, and he’s giving it his all.
You buck against his touch, your lust for him taking over a little. The last (and only) guy you’d been with wasn’t this attentive. He’d expected you to do all the work, including to yourself, which didn’t make for fun sex.
“Y-you’re pretty fucking wet,” gasps the old man, still working away at your nether regions.
You let out a lengthy moan, still thrusting against his fingers.
“Let’s see if I can make you wetter.”
You open your mouth to ask him what on earth he meant when his face suddenly disappears from view. Looking down, you suddenly realise what he meant. His tongue is slowly teasing your clit and wet pussy, enveloping it in warm saliva. Another long moan escapes your lips, and you can feel him laughing against your skin. His warm, wet tongue gives you a feeling you’ve never truly had before in your life. You felt all happy and tingly all over, like you’d won the lottery. Euphoria was probably the right word to describe it. The other guy you’d had sex with in your life just left you feeling cold and miserable and pretty upset. This feeling continued to build up inside you, increasing in intensity and making you feel even more happy and tingly, until suddenly you reached orgasm. That feeling disappeared as quickly as it had arrived. It felt like a bubble had been popped inside your body, and all you could do as you reached this peak of euphoria was scream. A sort of frantic, animalistic scream came out of your mouth, causing Rick to laugh again.
“Yeah little-little lady, t-that’s what I want *belch* wanted to hear from you,” he grins, pulling his face away from your crotch and getting back up so your faces are level. Leaning forward, he kisses you softly on the lips.
You sigh a contented little sigh as Rick closes your legs and pushes you round so you’re now lying on the sofa.
“Let’s get down to what I r-really came here for.”
You’re lying on your back on the sofa now, gazing over at Rick who has just pulled off his slippers and is now stroking his firmly erect member. The sheer length of the damn thing completely astounds you. You have to keep reminding yourself who it belongs to, and that yes, you were indeed going to have intercourse with the guy you’d been ogling since you first saw him.
“Hey, uh, l-little lady?” asks Rick.
“Yeah?” you reply
“Wha-what position do you like?” asks Rick, looking your naked form up and down yet again. You sigh.
“Look Rick, I’ve only ever had sex once. Just fucking go on top, Rick. I’m ready when you are.”
This was it, the moment you had been waiting for. You were finally about to have sex with the guy you had been crushing on for a good while. Rick straddles your youthful body carefully, making sure not to slap you with his cock as he climbers over you. His weapon stood poised and ready for action, and all too soon the glorious member was inside you. It hurt a little, given that you weren’t fully used to having something of that length and width inside you, however you really liked it.
“Ow,” you whimper in both pain and pleasure. You can feel every inch of the damn thing inside you, and you wrap your legs around him in sheer panic. He pulls out a little then thrusts it back in, grinning.
“Oh yeah baby, that feel s-so fucking good!” he says excitedly, slamming his bony hips against your young flesh.
You moan with each thrust. You really shouldn’t be enjoying this. You have to keep reminding yourself that this man is old enough to be your grandfather and that he is actually a father and grandfather. However, you don’t feel guilty about doing the do with Rick. Lying there, your legs spread apart and up around the older man’s back, you look up at Rick. He’s giving it his all, thrusting himself against you, inside you. He clearly knows what he’s doing. You’re lying there, taking it all and enjoying every minute of it. Rick doesn’t seem to mind that you’ve got your legs around him – it’s not disrupting him in any way, shape or form, and he’s got a pretty steady and consistent rhythm going. As soon as he catches your gaze, he leans forward and kisses in between your breasts, causing a smile to form on your face. Rick smiles back, ploughing into you all the while.
“Your pussy is so-so fucking tight,” he moans. In response to this statement you giggle a little then thrust up against Rick. His entire length inside you feels amazing, and you have to keep mentally reminding yourself that this is really happening. A series of hard, quick thrusts bring you back to reality and you look up at Rick again.
“Are you ok?” you ask him, worried he might be hurt.
“Jesus fucking Christ, of-of course I’m ok!” he snaps in reply. “I’m just-I’m fucking close, ok? Don’t-don’t spoil the mood again.”
You nod, digging your heels into his back a little. You can feel his thrusting getting harder and more erratic. You grip hard at his back, not wanting this to end. You’re enjoying it far, far too much. A hard thrust and a loud moan confirm what Rick had just said, as he stops thrusting and eases his cock out of you, his freshly deposited cum leaking out of your privates.
“Whoa,” is all you can manage after Rick pulls out and sits down on the sofa beside you. Rick nods, a sly smile creeping across his face.
“Y-you liked that?” he asks as you sit up and inspect the puddle of bodily fluids which is slowly drying into the sofa. Looking up at Rick, you smile.
“I guess that means you *belch* did enjoy it, huh?” he enquires.
“Yeah,” you whisper back, flustered and happy at what just occurred.
Rick stands up, and picks up his crumpled robe off the floor. Slipping it on, he slides back into his slippers and trots towards the door.
“Good, I’m glad you did,” came his reply. You open your mouth to thank him but you hear the front door slam, indicating that he’s left.
Bugger, you think to yourself, until you remember what just happened. Lying back down on the sofa, the wet patch touching your ass, you smile happily. That moment was going to stay with you for a good while yet.
She also has an NSFW tumblr for Rick and Morty (http://flowery-rick-smut.tumblr.com)(http://archive.md/7lmlR). Mostly reblogs of NSFW Rick and Morty fanarts, although it has some nuggets in there, such as boyfriend troubles (http://archive.md/jyzpP) and showing her fanfics to her lecturer(http://archive.md/1dR5k).
She also made a thread on a random person she got into a slapfight with over cartoon horses, proven over in caps posted to that thread.
Finally, her jontron smut tumblr: http://hazzasmut1.tumblr.com/ (http://archive.md/UmrSs).
I'll just give you a taste of JonTron smutfics here:
(https://archive.fo/9Kqll)One cold and dark night, I woke up quite sore
I dropped my lace panties straight onto the floor,
I moved my tired hands to my parts down below,
And rubbed my wet pussy real nice and quite slow.
I hear the door creak, and I jump right back,
The noise almost gives me a heart attack,
I hear a sweet voice call out my name
“Hey you, can I join in your little game?”
“It isn’t a game!” I cry out in shock,
Now realising I forgot to do up the lock,
My door swings open, and who should I see?
A well endowed man staring right back at me.
It’s Jon, the great man that I dream about,
His sudden appearance made me want to shout,
I first look him up, then I look him down,
Eventually the poor boy begins to frown.
“I’m horny!” he cried, “I thought you were too!
My dick is erect and I want to fuck you!”
I pull him in close for a passionate kiss,
Each moment together just feels like pure bliss.
He pushes me down and onto the bed,
And places his hands either side of my head,
He asks me if intercourse is what I want,
Then pushes his member inside of my cunt.
I whimper as Jon’s big schlong enters me,
He looks down at my body and chuckles with glee,
“Oh babe, you’re so pretty,” he says with delight,
“Your tits are so perky, your pussy’s so tight”.
Our bodies entwined, his lips caressed mine,
I tilted my head back and let out a whine,
“Keep thrusting you asshole, I’m loving your dick,
It’s long and so strong and wide and quite thick”.
His thick Nazi cock plunged deeper and deeper,
By the length of that prick I knew he was a keeper,
“Let’s make fucking pure babies, my sweet,”
Cried Jon as we both rolled about in the sheets.
He thrusts and I squeal, he whimpers and moans,
His muscles tense up and he lets out a groan,
“I’m close!” Jon cries out, and my body goes numb,
As he fills me right up with his hot, sticky cum.
He pulls his cock out and gets cum everywhere,
Then collapses beside me and I tousle his hair,
“Goodnight my darling,” I say with a hug,
As I cuddle in close to his chest, nice and snug.
Funny thing is, I was originally going to write this as a post for the "Lunatics who attack Chris" thread, but considering the sheer amount of content dug on her, I feel like this deserves a proper thread.
Fun fact: she used to perform Wuthering Heights, and the result... you watch it for yourself:
As with all lolcows who discovered their thread, Harriet went into a panic and posted above how some mods didn't think she was a halal material, and sent me a PM, telling me that among other things, she felt that there are inaccuracies that needs to be addressed in the thread, and started sobbing about how her parents are abusive. She also raised the abusive parents point in her profile page.
Turned out Harriet also had a history of using the "abused by parents" card on Twitter, most notably when she was initially blocked from CWCSonichu's twitter account, as shared by @yawning sneasel in this pastebin: https://archive.md/eYn4I
This is also the same logs where Harriet equates being blocked by CWCSonichu with BLOCKED BY GOD:LagoonaPony - Yesterday at 5:57 PM
OK I'm sorry. I don't mean ANY harm.
I'm very scared right now, please understand.
woke weavile - Yesterday at 5:58 PM
what do you have to be scared of?? say you got doxed, doxing only hurts you as much as you let it
LagoonaPony - Yesterday at 5:59 PM
I still live with my parents. My father would most likely physically attack me
My mother would call me names, make up lies about me.
woke weavile - Yesterday at 5:59 PM
is your father physically abusive?
LagoonaPony - Yesterday at 5:59 PM
he fucking tried to strangle me once
woke weavile - Yesterday at 5:59 PM
has she done that in the past?
LagoonaPony - Yesterday at 6:00 PM
had to attend a uni trip wearing a scarf to cover the bruise on my neck
woke weavile - Yesterday at 6:00 PM
thats not cool at all
LagoonaPony - Yesterday at 6:00 PM
why did you lot put me at even more risk than i am currently
woke weavile - Yesterday at 6:00 PM
i am really sorry he had done that to you
how have you been put at risk?
LagoonaPony - Yesterday at 6:00 PM
with this shit
i just want to apologise, i genuinely have nothing against anyone involved and am worried for my life
woke weavile - Yesterday at 6:01 PM
lagoona, you were the one who made the tweets. you were blocked from further contact with chris. nothing further has happened. how are you at risk
LagoonaPony - Yesterday at 6:02 PM
That gives him an opportunity to talk shit about me
User @ThePurpleProse managed to later squeeze out an explanation regarding Harriet's abusive father:woke weavile - Yesterday at 9:58 PM
do you think im lying to you?
LagoonaPony - Yesterday at 9:58 PM
woke weavile - Yesterday at 9:58 PM
LagoonaPony - Yesterday at 9:59 PM
Well I'm not.
I genuinely just wanted to be a nice person and help others.
woke weavile - Yesterday at 10:00 PM
well if you just dont tweet at chris youll be ok
LagoonaPony - Yesterday at 10:00 PM
Can you not read my tweets please
woke weavile - Yesterday at 10:01 PM
i never have
LagoonaPony - Yesterday at 10:01 PM
Also how can I, I was unfairly blocked. This is a shit analogy but this must be how people who suddenly lose their faith feel.
It's like being blocked by god
I didn't knew her neither, my approach is always cynical and apathetic to anyone, it was the "abusive household" bullshit that turn my thoughts into
Why only a few could see through that charade only showed me that a large part of KF are soft heart or never experienced abuse of that particular kind, I've said it before, the father of this sped probably slapped her shit a couple of times due frustration, and some people here call him a cuck, arguably truth, but other people could've done worse to her sorry ass.
If Mr. and Mrs. Connor reads this, believe us, we feel your difficulties in having to raise a bratty daughter who refuses to listen to good advice.
Extra special thanks to @Gengar, @Princess Tinkle Panties, and others for their help in digging content for the thread.
This thread is sponsored by Assigned Male Comics, by author Sophie Labelle.
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