Learning as a coping mechanism - When the search for knowledge becomes a vice.

  • We are being DDoS attacked still and 12,000 people are reading about incest. Expect weird errors. Most should go away by refreshing. Emails (registration / password reset) appear to be working; be sure to check spam.

    THE MERGE IS ON.

Penis Drager

My memes are ironic; my depression is chronic
kiwifarms.net
Warning: moderate to severe powerleveling ahead:
I'm most definitely not alone here when I say I don't like my past life and I don't like my current life. The healthy way to approach this, of course, is to assess what it is that is fucking up your life and take the necessary steps to minimize their impact while pressing forward to improve the things you can. The more common angle of approach, at least as I have seen, is to develop some form of coping mechanism so that you can either pretend your problems are not your responsibility or just flat out ignore them. Conspiracy theorists of many flags do the former by blaming the jews, systemic racism, the capitalists, the communists, etc. for all of their problems while some of the sufficiently autistic do the latter by wasting their life on vidya or gooktoons or weird spiritual beliefs about how things are totally going to be better after the merge whatever special event will lead them to ascension. But I haven't seen much discussion on one that I have identified in myself.
I never got along very well with my peers. I had a few friends, but I mainly got in with that group of idiots that likes breaking shit for the fun of it. What I liked, though, was learning. There were very few classes I remember struggling in, even in college. I would occasionally be berated for never taking notes by the handful of teachers that made a point about it. But I always performed well,. The few times I didn't get 100% on a test was because I misread a question. And it was because I actually enjoyed cramming my head with knowledge I'll never use and even spent a lot of my free time thinking about what it was that I was taught and burying my head in outrageously outdated encyclopedias (before my family finally got around to getting internet).
I played vidya too, and we had TV, but my favorite memories from my childhood stem from reading about this, that and the other thing in a 1950's era set of encyclopedias. I would see the "see also:" notes at the bottom of the page and couldn't contain my desire to know more. But it was because I hated my life. My consistent drive for knowledge was escapism in exactly the same sense that video games or fiction novels or whatever the fuck TV does these days is for many others. And it still persists today: "I don't want to deal with [problem], I want to play video games all day" has been replaced with me doing much the same, but I'm reading the wikipedia page on quantum chromodynamics or watching a video about how fermentation may have lead to the invention of agriculture.
I spent most of my life being fed optimism about my future on the basis that I could retain everything the teacher told me to regurgitate a week after the fact, and that I always seemed one step ahead of any given lecture. But it was precisely because everything else in my life was shit. I liked learning. I still like learning. That's basically all I fucking do when I'm not masturbating or shitposting here (I would add working to the list, but 90% of my workday is spent shitposting because my workplace is retarded). I'm not particularly intelligent. Math was easy most of the time but if it actually required using my head, I had a hard time. I just soaked up new information like a sponge.

My main question now is whether this is at all a common cope that warrants investigation or am I a lone retard here?
 

Penis Drager

My memes are ironic; my depression is chronic
kiwifarms.net
Alan Watts
I'll read up on him.

But if your characterization is correct, acceptance is a far cry from coping.
Accepting things that are beyond your control is healthy. Coping is all about the refusal to change the things you can for whatever reason or coming up with rationalizations for why you can't minimize the effects of the things you can't directly change. Think nazi incels that tell each other (and themselves) time and again that the only reason white girls don't what to have sex with them is because of white genocide jewish propaganda or whatever (despite the fact that most couples still remain "uniracial"). They can't get pussy, and they're bitter about it, so they blame it on something outside their control. The other form of cope is that people will find either distractions or optimistic "end-games" that they just have to wait for like Q-tards do. These are both forms of coping.
sorry for the verbosity... I had one (or five) too many
 

thrusting

iced out
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Reading up on random topics feels super rewarding because you make the biggest gains when you start from 0. You don't need discipline because curiosity does all the motivation work for you. This can definitely become a time sink when you just jump from topic to topic. Sticking to one area and learning enough to gain a marketable skill requires discipline and hard work. Especially once you hit the bottom of the dunning kruger curve and realize how little you actually know. This is were it becomes super tempting to just move on to a different topic. Soaking up random info is still way more productive than consooming endless amounts of vidya or netflix. But at the end of the day its probably still time wasted if your long term goal is to change your life and become less miserable.
 

Sage In All Fields

πr8 of the $777Cs
kiwifarms.net
My main question now is whether this is at all a common cope that warrants investigation or am I a lone retard here?
I can definitely see where you're coming from, but it sounds like you mostly just need direction and goals for your learning cus you're just learning for pleasure which like you said isn't much more than a vice and should be treated as such.
That said, learning about a wide range of things is good because it lets you connect the dots between subjects in ways specialists can't.
 

Penis Drager

My memes are ironic; my depression is chronic
kiwifarms.net
I can definitely see where you're coming from, but it sounds like you mostly just need direction and goals for your learning
I have actually been thinking about going back to school. I have a toilet paper degree as it stands but maybe being a research scientist of some sort wouldn't be half bad despite having to dedicate such a huge portion of my life just to become one. If I were to do so, it would definitely have to be something where I could dip my toes in a lot of different fields. Math is gay though. Maybe chemistry? fuck if I know tbh and that's the problem.
 

Sage In All Fields

πr8 of the $777Cs
kiwifarms.net
I have actually been thinking about going back to school. I have a toilet paper degree as it stands but maybe being a research scientist of some sort wouldn't be half bad despite having to dedicate such a huge portion of my life just to become one. If I were to do so, it would definitely have to be something where I could dip my toes in a lot of different fields. Math is gay though. Maybe chemistry? fuck if I know tbh and that's the problem.
Don't waste your life and money on school, you can learn most of that stuff at home. It's more productive to get a job, that way you can put that money into any resources you need for whatever it is you want to learn or something else if you're not feeling it that month. Math is actually really fun, schools just suck at teaching it. If you want to get into Chemistry I can direct you towards some stuff if you'd like
 

annoyingfuck

kiwifarms.net
Reading up on random topics feels super rewarding because you make the biggest gains when you start from 0. You don't need discipline because curiosity does all the motivation work for you. This can definitely become a time sink when you just jump from topic to topic. Sticking to one area and learning enough to gain a marketable skill requires discipline and hard work.
Yeah it's called ADHD *sigh* Sometimes I wonder if being diagnosed and medicated is actually worse, than doing what I was doing.

This part doesn't apply though, I am very aware of how little I know, and that is actually the issue, my brain appears to be catching up for lost time.
Especially once you hit the bottom of the dunning kruger curve and realize how little you actually know. This is were it becomes super tempting to just move on to a different topic. Soaking up random info is still way more productive than consooming endless amounts of vidya or netflix. But at the end of the day its probably still time wasted if your long term goal is to change your life and become less miserable.

Research is where my love is, I can literally research anything, no matter how dull and boring anyone else finds it, as long as someone doesn't expect me to spend my life on the same topic.

I thought uni would be my solution, turns out it was a cluster fuck thanks to my brain, my tendency to look at things a slightly different perspective, and a previously unknown perfectionist streak that screws up the whole 'Ps get degrees' attitude you need to pass 'bullshit'.

So now I'm hoping the little diploma course I'm doing will get me into the IT world, where I'd be dealing with lots of different issues, different people, and hopefully never getting bored...
 

Aaa0aaa0

Internet Truth, Justice, JULAAAAY enthusiast
kiwifarms.net
I'm going to take the L and be the one who suggest that you go to therapy if you can afford it. You seem to have a lot going on and I think a professional is the best person to support you on your way to make long term choices and put your thoughts into productive actions (rather than just bounce back to the net). No matter what you choose, I wish you luck and hope you can find your way.
 

Bussyking7

kiwifarms.net
Research is where my love is, I can literally research anything, no matter how dull and boring anyone else finds it, as long as someone doesn't expect me to spend my life on the same topic.
As if you've ever done any real research in your life.
So now I'm hoping the little diploma course I'm doing will get me into the IT world, where I'd be dealing with lots of different issues, different people, and hopefully never getting bored...
Imagine thinking asking people to turn their computer on and off again is an interesting job.
 

Real Gay Autist

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
One may feel like a big tangled ball of yarn. One strives to untangle all the knots in ones psyche. An important insight may be as follows: the biggest knot of all is the compulsion to untangle onself.

I am not going to bite and powerlevel but I will say that thinking can be a dangerous, excellent defense against accepting feelings. What are you hiding from? Most likely it's the shadow of your own potential to fully come into yourself as an individuated person. If you're stuck in your head a lot, get into your body. Observe how you feel in the body. Experiment with somatic experiencing, e.g. Gendlin's Focusing. Walk. Ride your bike. Learn to meditate. If you experience resistance with feeling rather than thinking, lean into it.

But I don't wanna get pussy! I wanna read about human sexual dimorphism!

No. You want not-wanting pussy. Get your dick wet. Doctor's orders.

Also fuck you so hard for making me get all sickly-sweet-Redditor on KF. :gay:
 

Taylor Swift's Ghostwrite

2016 Oppression Olympics Bronze Medalist
kiwifarms.net
I will say from what you described I would consider this a coping mechanism. Of course, such things over the internet are very hard to be sure of. Keep in mind not all coping mechs are bad, though. We all have them for literally everything. For some people its a nice walk on an afternoon, for others its injecting heroin into their eyeball. As long as this isn't causing you some kind of harm or anything I wouldn't write it down as a bad coping mech but rather a good one.
 

annoyingfuck

kiwifarms.net
As if you've ever done any real research in your life.

Imagine thinking asking people to turn their computer on and off again is an interesting job.
Think you have that corner of the market covered do you?

I'm sure everyone else loves how high your self-imposed pedestal is too...
 

Bussyking7

kiwifarms.net
Think you have that corner of the market covered do you?

I'm sure everyone else loves how high your self-imposed pedestal is too.
Sorry sweaty, but reading Wikipedia articles doesn't constitute real research.

Your future job is to be a pajeet tier computer grunt. Name a worse career.
 

FarCentrist

kiwifarms.net
Why learn stuff? Ignorance is bliss for a reason.

High iq people are often depressed and suicidal. Low iq people who live day by day thinking only of food and fuck are the most satisfied at life.
 

Similar threads

An electronics fag tries to make a point while seeing doubles. - Alternatively why beer before liqour may not be a good idea.
Replies
8
Views
484
Top