Finally time to recap! Be right back! EDIT: RECAP.
leaving youtube..... - 8/31/2019 (Day 74 - is this the end of the 100-Day Nightmare?) Because I hate myself and my blood pressure enough to watch these "inscrutiateen" videos so YOU DON'T HAVE TO:
- "I need to talk" (Gorl, that's all you've ever done is talk. You need to LISTEN.)
- She's going to try and not edit this video much. Enjoy all glorious 25 minutes of ranting.
- "So many ups and downs" (Ups: her weight. Downs: thumbs on her videos.)
1 minute in - BLAMES THE HAYDURS
- "I have made my bed of mistakes" (and adorned it with a mountain of pillows)
- Blah blah NarcissistLynn tries to sound genuine about "the things she regrets" doing and the mistakes she's made, then immediately jumps to the fact that people can LEARN from their mistakes.
(Cannot fully handle all of the Hamberisms being spewed at us, or this would be 10 pages long)
- "I can't believe I'm 28" (neither can any doctor who's seen you)
2 minutes in - BLAMES THE RUMORS and HATE TRAIN
- Oh, she's "changed a lot" learning from those "mistakes". (By about 200 elbees, right?) Oh, she's NOT talking about her weight loss failures? Then she hasn't really learned anything. MOVING ON.
3 minutes in - BLAMES HER PAST and PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T FORGIVEN HER (like she's forgiven herself)
- Admits to the litany of failed diets/plans. Admits that she started a weight loss channel and it's been a weight gain channel.
4 minutes in - BLAMES THE FAT-HAYDURS
- "I see the hate. I receive the hate. I feel the hate. I read the hate." (Despite all claims otherwise.)
- Spends two minutes basically reciting back the standard amount of comments in a random KF post about one of her vids.
6 minutes in - BLAMES HER MENTAL ISSUES
- Admission via text box that "today" is August 19th, which coincides with the IG post, right? She mentions the YouTube video deletion, which was the same day she also griped about the IG warning.
- Again trying to state she didn't violate any terms with her original upload, despite its misleading title being the reason for its initial takedown. (But THE HAYDURS. They're BUH-ROO-TULL. They're CUH-ROO-ULL.)
- She been cryeen.
- "I began to question my sanity; my life. I began to question myself as a person. And I began to question my YouTube career." - VictimLynn
- "I don't like being weak. I like to try to be as strong as I can." - ControllLynn
9.5 minutes in - SUICIDALLYNN APPEARS: "I don't think I could live anymore. What's the point of me liveen?"
10 minutes in - BLAMES CYBERBOOLYING (but she doesn't WANNA call it that)
- "I don't want to be a ||victim||." (Sure, Jan.)
- "You guys won. You guys have finally won." (WE WON!!!)
- All that money she was "saving for weight loss surgery" or "buying a house"? Guess she's now going to use it to survive post-YouTube?
- "YouTube works for me" (Oh, the ONLY time she uses the 'I know what works for me' claim and is correct...) (This had SERIOUSLY better not end with her NOT leaving YouTube...)
12 minutes in - BLAMES THE BINGEEN AND THE BIPOLAR
- "My chest and my heart hurt." (*Internet hands her some high-pH water and a reminder that she is 600 pounds*)
- "I don't want to leave YouTube, but I feel like I have to."
12.5 minutes in - THE CRYEEN HAS BEGUN.
- "Everything I do is wrong." (No fucking DUH.)
- She claims again she didn't take a break for her mental health because OTHER PEOPLE CAN'T take a break for their mental health and she is the BEACON OF JUSTICE they can follow!
15 minutes in - BLAMES THE REACTION CHANNELS (while making excuses of why she doesn't just turn off comments, as if the comments being on or off would affect the level of reaction channels / archiving)
- Hamber still doesn't understand copyright / Fair Use. Nor would she have even tried making the effort to take anything down had she the balls (deep down in those flab folds) to try.
- Oh, now she blames that if her comments are off, she doesn't get the views. Without understanding that the only INTERESTING part of her "quality content" is the comments themselves!
- "I asked for a 2nd chance YEARS ago." (How's that working out for you and your 600 elbees, Hamber? Did you make GOOD USE of that second chance?)
16 minutes in - BLAMES THE OTHER YOUTUBERS WHO DO "WORSE THINGS"
- "I am at an utter loss for words." (Joke about the 9 minutes remaining?)
- Respect is something that's EARNED, Hamber. And you don't get it by being all of the things you've semi-admitted to being.
18 minutes in - BLAMES PEOPLE THINKING IT'S OKAY TO MAKE FUN OF HER WEIGHT/HEALTH/MENTAL
- "I can't stand up for myself" (Insert joke about how she can barely stand up PERIOD here)
- "That's my job. I get paid to be spit on and punched on, slapped in the face, stabbed in the heart every single day." (She's just described how MOST people feel at THEIR JOBS. That's why they PAY you for it. And it hasn't bothered her until now? 6 years later?)
20 minutes in - BLAMES THE RUMORS MORE!
- Claiming the rumors aren't real/true? But no proof that they are just rumors? That's not how to fight rumors! SHOW US DEM LEYYYGS?
- Hamber wants to blame YouTube for being the worst decision of her life, rather than every single binge/calorie/mookbong she's shoved in her face instead of exercising and dieting and losing weight.
- "Maybe I DO deserve them. Maybe I AM a horrible person. Maybe it's true. Maybe I AM disgusting. Maybe I AM going to die live on a live stream." (Uh, that would suggest she came back to do live streaming, so hopefully not.)
VICTIMLYNN LEVELS TOO HIGH! WRAP IT UP!
- She's scared she might become "irrelevant" during her "break".
- "I want the 'wrong' people to forget about me." (KF will still be here, gorl.)
- "I used to be strong, and I feel like I've become weak." (Your 3-minutes-of-standing shelf-ass-pat timer segments would agree with that.)
TL;DR: Final tears of VictimLynn. Swan Song complete. FOR NOW. (That ad money gonna dry up pretty quick...) DO NOT SKIP.
BONUS ROUND: Guess it's time to place bets on the date of her return? Putting money on early October for Hallowe'en content and her "mermaid" costume!
Holy fucking excuses. 5 minutes in, still has said nothing interesting, pretends she can learn from her mistakes. Can't understand why people haven't forgiven her after she has apologized and forgiven herself.