She's going to be back today and will say it was a pre-recorded video from months ago.
Dude, I hope so. Shrimp gate 2.0!!!She's going to be back today and will say it was a pre-recorded video from months ago.
Damn, that's the fucking truth. The expression "Trying to hold back tears" exist for a reason. Nothing fucks up your attempts to communicate something quite like extreme emotion and crying.That’s how you know someone is trying to cry. They let the one tear they squeeze out roll down their cheek to make sure everyone sees it. When people really cry they wipe them away right away.
another thought possibly her psychiatrist doctor and the meds got through to her that getting off of youtube would be a good idea for her since even that better help fake therapist suggested maybe youtube isn't for her. probably not for the hate she gets but because she is putting herself out there as a freak show and eating, gaining weight for these views and she did mention there are things she can never take back now. but then I know she wasn't really following through with any follow ups for blood work, further sleep apnea tests but maybe someone got through to her and she is taking a break to do those things. like she said nothing she can do at this point, she's lied so much, noone will believe her so even if she is doing these things people will be doubting it so it would be best for her to take of those things off youtube.I cannot sleep so this morning I watched the archived version of the video, and I'll tell you what... Her actions and her tone, it makes it look like she got a dose of truth... Like something she saw or read really resonated with her however, her response was basically a big long "come on guys stop opposing what I think is really happening"
There was an ultra childish tone for the whole thing in my opinion
Wowee. I've already watched the video but reading everything laid out like that is absolutely disconcerting. If ever someone comes along and asks why people think AL is such a monster just refer them to this video.Wow. I'm actually kinda happy I watched this for the first time after her immediate retraction. It makes this ten times funnier.
"I have apologized for countless things I have done in the past, and I have forgiven myself and there's like, a LARGE amount of people who haven't forgiven me for things and I don't want to be a victim of this."
"I know that I receive hate because of some things I've done in the *past*. I know I receive hate because some people *portray* me as a horrible person."
"I don't know how I handle it, I don't know how I'm able to keep fighting and uploading when I'm already going through so much, like mentally."
"I uploaded a video of my doing my makeup and Youtube deleted it. And Youtube has made mistakes before. I'm not the only Youtuber that they've made mistakes on."
"*in defense of making shekels* Everyone should have a job...Every has to pay for the roof over their head, for electricity, vet bills, hospital bills...we all work to make money."
"I had a moment of weakness, which I don't like being weak. I like to be as strong as I can."
"*all of her suicidal whining, not gonna bother transcribing that here*"
"I don't know how to convey that I'm finally hurt...I'm *finally* hurt."
"I have saved a LOT of money, a LOT of money from Youtube. I could buy a house."
"Criticism, an example of criticism is "You're going to lose weight, you're going to die, we worry about you."
"A lot of people have been telling me, take a break from Youtube for your mental health, for your sanity, and I always told myself no, because there are other people working out there who can't just take a break for their mental health."
"I care about myself enough to go away."
"*in defense of not just turning off the comments* ...I don't get as many views if my comments are turned off."
"People can't get over what happened years ago, and they keep holding on to what happened years ago, and yet I see other Youtubers who have done HORRIBLE things that I can't even like put into words, I literally cannot put into words and they still have love and support. I'm so confused why there's a double standard."
"The comments have made me feel like I am not worthy of love or kindness or respect."
"I can't stand up for myself, because when I stand up for myself I get attacked. I have to let people treat me like this every single day and that's my job. I get paid to pretty much be spit on and punched on, slapped in the face, stabbed in the heart, every single day."
"I know that people are like 'Why don't you focus on the people who support you?' and it's like...Where are those people? It's such a sad thing but like, where are those people?"
"I have opened up my life, I have shared my life, I have been raw, I've been honest, and I have been here. I've had days where I didn't even want to breathe, I have been on this channel. I have filmed, I have edited, I have uploaded, and I have BEEN here. None of it matters!"
"I understand like I said in the beginning of this, like a big portion of it--I wouldn't say big, but like, a chunk of it has been my fault."
"Maybe I am a horrible person. Maybe I was in foster care because my parents didn't love me and didn't want me, maybe I am disgusting. Maybe I am gonna die live of a heart attack, maybe it is gonna happen. Maybe I don't deserve Becky, friends, family, maybe I do deserve to be left alone. I don't know. You just read something so much and you start to believe it."