LGBT Kiwis -

polonium

By your genders combined, I am Captain Tumblr
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It's almost like online hookup apps are designed by vain sex-freaks, for vain sex-freaks.
I really think it depends what you're looking for.
I met my fiancé through "online dating" apps but I was upfront about not wanting a hookup and so I guess a lot of hedonists gave me a swerve because of it. I found that it was a good way to cut through the preamble of having to go out and try to meet people in a bar, since I had no gay friends who might have tried to play matchmaker. Instead, I used those type of apps as a way to chit-chat with someone and if they seemed fun then see if they wanted to meet up for a coffee or something, and for me it worked out.

I guess if you are looking for a never-ending cock-carousel you'll find that, but if you want to use it as a way to meet people specifically with a view to it developing into a relationship, that's also an option.
 
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Surf and TERF

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It depends on the sort of app you’re using too. For example, tinder is just hookups, but OkCupid is uses questionnaires to find compatible people so there’s a greater chance they you’ll find people who are putting in the effort to find a relationship.

I have gotten more and more strict about the way I filter people out. My profiles specify monogamy and no hookups at the top. Also “gay but not big on making it a part of my personality” I swipe left on anyone who looks like an edgelord (lgbt tattoos, face piercings, dyed hair, pictures of themselves flipping off the camera, that weird frat boy crouch with a baseball cap indoors, zodiac stuff, and specifying drugs/alcohol as a character trait)

This removes about 90% of my options but it yields better potential in matches. Quality over quantity.
 

UntimelyDhelmise

Galar Purge Survivor
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Thinking on it more, I'm not really sure what I want. My only serious relationship thus far was long-distance, so I don't know what an "actual" one is like. I used to be the "I want to get married to a woman and have a family" type, but now I really don't care anymore. I'm not sure how things would go with dating a guy either on top of having a "real" relationship however. I've thought of maybe a roommate friends with benefits situation where I share a living space with a guy and we just so happen to like fucking each other, but that feels too shallow.

There's also the other matter of even finding a guy who doesn't freak out at the bi word, who isn't a stereotypical gay who makes it their entire persona (the second I hear a dude talk in an exaggerated effeminate voice I'm immediately turned off), and just sheer personality compatibility in general that goes for any kind of serious relationship.
 
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What's the proper dick size on a partner for the male gays here?
 

Surf and TERF

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No disrespect, but I've never understood why bisexuals would want to date gay. If you can go either way and you're not into the oppression olympics, why would you choose the relationship that comes with less dating options and a social stigma?
 

Black Waltz

sad soul
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No disrespect, but I've never understood why bisexuals would want to date gay. If you can go either way and you're not into the oppression olympics, why would you choose the relationship that comes with less dating options and a social stigma?
i mean, if there was something I absolutely liked in a guy I met I would want to go out with him
 
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UntimelyDhelmise

Galar Purge Survivor
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Because women are becoming that bad a deal.
Pretty much this. Especially since my relationship was indeed a girl and all the burning post-breakup that entails.

Though I will wholeheartedly admit social stigma is a major factor as to why I'm flip flopping over whether I want to fully go through with getting into a gay relationship or not, as my immediate family is not homo friendly. And considering I like family gatherings like holidays, potentially having to avoid those just because of my sexual preference is difficult. Having three older siblings who married straight and are starting families of their own doesn't help either, making me look like the black sheep (my parents understand if I don't want to have kids but still).
 

Sprig of Parsley

Damnation dignified
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If I'm not mistaken their rate of domestic violence is higher by percentage, but it's hard to get honest stats for one reason or another.
This goes against my understanding of the issue, which placed lesbian couples highest, hetero couples in the middle and gay couples lowest.
 

UntimelyDhelmise

Galar Purge Survivor
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What's the proper dick size on a partner for the male gays here?
From what little experience I've had (only been with two different guys), I'd say 6-7 inches and not an overly girthy shaft (but not a pencil either) is optimal as far as I'm concerned. Though I think I could take longer ones given the chance, but I'm not sure since I haven't taken anything longer than 6 1/2 inches.
 
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SiccDicc

See you next fall...
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This controverts my understanding of the issue, which placed lesbian couples highest, hetero couples in the middle and gay couples lowest.
Lesbians are higher, but gay men tend to keep quiet about such nonsense if I'm not mistaken. I don't honestly know, I'm basing this largely from discussions with gay people and it might be skewed.

I do know that those gay people hate the community at large, though.
 

Surf and TERF

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Pretty much this. Especially since my relationship was indeed a girl and all the burning post-breakup that entails.

Though I will wholeheartedly admit social stigma is a major factor as to why I'm flip flopping over whether I want to fully go through with getting into a gay relationship or not, as my immediate family is not homo friendly. And considering I like family gatherings like holidays, potentially having to avoid those just because of my sexual preference is difficult. Having three older siblings who married straight and are starting families of their own doesn't help either, making me look like the black sheep (my parents understand if I don't want to have kids but still).
Stigma is why I avoided having a formal conversation with my family about it, although I can tell they have it figured out by now. I'm lucky in that they're not the type to disown me. It's just that a few are the types who will argue and I don't want to deal with that conversation.

This goes against my understanding of the issue, which placed lesbian couples highest, hetero couples in the middle and gay couples lowest.
Are there statistics on this somewhere? I'm skeptical, but I could also believe it.
 
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UntimelyDhelmise

Galar Purge Survivor
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Stigma is why I avoided having a formal conversation with my family about it, although I can tell they have it figured out by now. I'm lucky in that they're not the type to disown me. It's just that a few will try to talk me out it and I don't want to provide an opportunity for that conversation.
I don't think mine would disown me either. They know I've been with a guy before and their response was basically "Well, you're an adult." I'm sure having a one night stand is a far cry from "Hey I have a boyfriend" though. And considering I still live with them for the time being that'd makes things twice as awkward.
 

polonium

By your genders combined, I am Captain Tumblr
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
No disrespect, but I've never understood why bisexuals would want to date gay. If you can go either way and you're not into the oppression olympics, why would you choose the relationship that comes with less dating options and a social stigma?
I kinda get where you're coming from with this, it's more an argument for homosexual attraction not being "a choice" or "a lifestyle" though, because if you had to choice to be a social outcast, why would you? It's not even good for oppression points any more unless you're a minority, in which case you'll have the same spot on the progressive ladder anyway.

As for how to pertains to bisexuals though, I think it's a depressingly shallow view of relationships. I don't specifically love my fiance because of his penis, there's all the other things that draw me to him that would still be true even if you took the sexual element of the relationship away.
 
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