"Life, Love, and the Known Unknowns" - Ralph's article honoring his dying mother

[TriggerMeElmo]

I'm moreso curious to know if she had a written will. Did Ronnie have one?

 

[Vetti]

The RALPHAMALE will take down this pesky hospital full of ayelawgz. Please sue them Ralph, tell'em WHOZ KANG GAYDURR.

"Get 'em out of here Gator. Take his lab coat".

 

[Cow Poly]

Ralph - you can go online and battle with us until the end of time. We are all autistic including you. We will always be here. Just stop - stop engaging with us. Go be with your Mom.

 

[Mundane Ralph]

I'm moreso curious to know if she had a written will. Did Ronnie have one?

IIRC Ronnie did not.

 

[RichardRApe]

It’s a heart-wrenching affair that I literally would not wish on my worst enemy.

Yes, exactly Ralph, wishing bad things on people is fucked up, you just might be getting it. There's a time and a pl...

I would wish A LOT of other fucked up things on them, but not this.

Oh... nevermind.

The whole “Can’t Abort the Retort” slogan has sort of become part of my identity, and sometimes it can be a burden.

Why? Because the hospital aborted your mom in the 1200th trimester with an expertly placed banana peel?

 

[Paddy O' Furniture]

Why? Because the hospital aborted your mom in the 1200th trimester with an expertly placed banana peel?

Imaging having to cope with having no talent and using that as your mantra.

 

[4str4staleatherbelt]

Ralph is definitely a mama's boy.

I remember in the anus leaks him talking about how his mama made him, a grown ass man in his 30s, breakfast. I think it was pancakes. With that said, i wish the best for Ms. Ralph.

 

[TriggerMeElmo]

And what exactly has Ethan done for his mother other than call her an Uber (if that)? I bet he never remembered her birthdays or bought her a card at the very least.

 

[Ethan Ralphs Micro Penis]

Ralph: Gets extremely somber and treats himself as if he's the victim in this.

Also Ralph: Laughs at Rand and Sargon for having miscarriages.

Life comes at you fast Gunt.

 

[FuzzMushr00m]

Best of luck to Mamaralph, this shit is tough. I don't doubt for a second Ethan will try to monetise this whole thing somehow but it's a tragic situation nonetheless.

BTW what happens to his crippled brother now? I don't know why but I thought his mother was taking care of him

 

[Reversal]

I’m gonna go ahead and work a full schedule of Killstreams this week

This is what I don't get. Is the KS really breaking new ground or raking in the big bucks to make it worth continuing at a time like this? Even if it doesn't necessarily coincide with his visitation time I'm sure whatever audience he has would, given they've stuck around this long, give him the luxury of taking a break for a while if he wanted to take it.

 

[Mr. Pestilence]

Wonder how Ralph is feeling now about all the times he's blown his Mom off on taking her to her dialysis treatments. It's a shame she probably won't live long enough to be a part in the little Guntling's life.

 

[Near]

Don't feel bad, Ralph. At least you're still WINNING

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

However, there were some seizures in her brain for a couple days after the surgery that were originally missed. This set progress back and we don’t really know just how much damage that did. My Mom also has several other health issues, the biggest of which is end-stage kidney disease. This could be playing a factor when it comes to the length of time it takes to heal, as the doctor just mentioned to me today. There isn’t any visible damage to her brain tissue, although there could be unseen damage below that, apparently.
In short, the doctors don’t really know much when it comes to whether or not she will ever wake up. They seem to think maybe she will. Then again, maybe she won’t. To say this is frustrating would be a massive understatement. It’s a heart-wrenching affair that I literally would not wish on my worst enemy. I would wish A LOT of other fucked up things on them, but not this. It’s actual sadistic torture. Wishing death on someone
would be kinder, in my opinion...

I do genuinely feel for Ralph at the moment, what he is going through must be fucking awful. I hope his mum pulls through, that she makes a full recovery and that whatever payout they receive helps her live comfortably for the rest of her years.

Yet, it does strike me that despite what he's experiencing, revenge and destroying his enemies is always in the back of his mind. Enemies he made online, and how he wants them to suffer although not as bad as he is, are still lingering in his mind. It's not normal or healthy.

Sometimes I catch myself mid-tweet, thinking, “What in the fuck am I doing? This is meaningless!” Or I get lost in thought about her, thinking of some random trip we took, or memory we shared. Maybe a thought about something I should have done comes up. It can be maddening in a lot of ways…in most ways.

This is probably the most human I've seen Ralph. He needs to learn from this experience that all of this online shit is meaningless, it's trivial. He has a child on the way, an ailing - and tragically, possibly dying, mother - and he's sat wallowing in this nonsense drama online. If there is ever a sign that you need to stop, to find a way to support those around you this is it.

Except we all know he'll find support from the bottom of a bottle of Makers Mark. What a sad life.

 

[Jan Karol Swit]

I don't know why you'd feel sympathy for Ralph, if this shit happened to anybody else he'd be dancing for joy. I don't need to celebrate his mom dying, but I don't need to feel pity for our Dear Little Piggy.

 

[Takayuki Yagami]

As grim as all this is, I can’t help but hear the title of the article in his constantly slurred voice. Makes it comical.
Edit: His writing is still awful.

 

[GooglePuppet]

Slip and fall is one of the most popular kinds of personal injury lawsuits for a reason. If it happens in a hospital, where it isn't supposed to happen, it's going to look negligent to a jury, and not for complicated medical reasons that involve doctors arguing with each other about arcane medical bullshit. They let her slip and fall in their care and she was severely injured.

He should talk to someone.

So long as she's still alive, though, it's really up to her whether she sues. If she dies it would be up to her estate representative, which might be Ethan if she doesn't have a more responsible person picked.

Sounds like Ralph might be in for a major payday. Kinda hoping he gets the money just so we can see him blow through it all while making a clown of himself.

 

[MeltyTW]

I don't know why you'd feel sympathy for Ralph, if this shit happened to anybody else he'd be dancing for joy. I don't need to celebrate his mom dying, but I don't need to feel pity for our Dear Little Piggy.

View attachment 1960185

ralph immediately showed he doesnt care by using his mother to get out of the groypers and "fire" rand. hes a faggot and hell die knowing his mother hated him for abusing her

 

[femboy collector]

I feel bad for his mother, knowing that she has to see his pink and red jowls slobbering over her face and begging for breakfast to be made the moment she opens her eyes. I hope she passes peacefully and he continues destroying his liver.

 

[Fat Bastard]

Why is there moralfagging in this thread? We all know that bitch ain't dying, she's probably fucking grifting the Canadian government for welfare while playing Spyro The Dragon with ol' Ronnie as we speak.