Lolcow Copypastas -

[GS 281]

There have been some amazing lolcow copypastas that we have seen on this site over the past 3 years. Assmad retards will say some fantastic things, but we haven't really gathered them in one area. Deagle Nation had a few, Chris has had some good ones. I will start with an under the radar one from Faye Kane.

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/faye-kane-debate-edition.17214/page-13#post-1249161

I dunno. I didn't follow the link. I assume its all accurate, but it doesn't really matter. I only give a damn about the stuff that's correct. Put all the fake shit in that you want. I'm sure as shit not going to apply for any more jobs.

You dox people as a way of making them angry so you can congratulate each other on how you hooked them emotionally while hiding behind your screens, anonymously. That's the sole purpose of this site.

That is real, real shitty. You know, like a little boy pulling the wings off flies shitty.

But that's what you are.

Well, I'm bored with it. I'm outta here. The Jedi grows tired of deflecting blaster pulses with her hand.

I'll let the feds enforce 18 U.S. Code § 2261A which you obviously didn't read.

I'll also send you a DMCA takedown notice for you to ignore. It will be interesting to see what happens since so far, all the sites have taken down my shit.

One more thing. Little kids can only be shitty while hiding. Ting is monitoring my line in "stalker" mode, or a line trap, or whatever they call it. Any of you children call me and you're busted, as long as it's from a US carrier. I'll have hard evidence to give the cops, or whatever Ting tells me to do. You'll be visited by the cops, and I hope they find that kiddie porn on your HDD.

Why am I telling you this instead of letting you be caught?

Because I would rather not have to deal with whoever catches one of the kids letting the air out of my tires.

But you can god damn bet that if one of you gets trapped, that I'll screw you to the wall, hard. The first part would be accusing you of sending the threatening emails (which came from a free throwaway account). I don't care if it was actually you or not. The cops really do take that seriously. And if a link can be established between you and this harassment board, which will be in your browser history, it's game over.

I think I'll close this tab and sleep for a while now. Enjoy your circle jerk

 

[Randall Fragg]

Re: ParkourDude91

u know who the fuck it is #tyce dude

Listen up theres 2 times in this world ok and
type of time #1: when im blazed
time #2: when im pissd at nerds like u
guess what bitch its time for both cuz im fuckin faded on here like whatup?? ya know what i mean and i just did like 30 whipits weed and mushrooms haha like can u say time to blaze the kiwi forums for hateing on deagle nation so its time to get serious on this site one of ur lil faggots linked me here on utube and was like hey theyre making fun of u guess wat biggest mistake of ur lifes cuz theyre about to en d ok ur on a 1 way trail to hell and im conductor choo choo bich thats a bullit speeding towards your face at 50mph BLAM fuck u thats what happen when u start a war with deagle nation cuz wars dont ever end in my life and thats u

One of my personal favorite lolcow moments.

 

[The 25th Cyberman]

Can't believe this hasn't been mentioned yet:

ok im going to open myself up to a lot of shit by saying this but i feel like it needs to be said

Spoiler: spoiler for probably off-topic and gross [x]philia talk

im going to preface this by saying i like the idea of fucking dogs. i would also like to say that i would never actually fuck a dog in real life (or look at bestiality porn involving real things) as that is animal abuse and the very idea of it happening irl makes me feel sick. this is a thing that has been there all my life, and i would consider it an intrinsic part of me that cannot be changed. i've tried to hide it, tried to quash the feelings and thoughts down but they dont go away, and if i try too hard to ignore them, it flips he other way and i just cant stop thinking about it, ending up in a vicious cycle of "stop thinking about it" "shit i cant stop i need to try harder" etc etc.
other people with paraphilias (things like necrophilia, paedophilia, zoophilia et al that are more than just a passing curiosity) ive talked to have the same problem of overthinking and self hatred over these feelings, and it frequently causes neuroses and suicidal thoughts. sexologists are actually starting to agree that these things - and general kinkiness - are legitimate sexual orientations, too. that doesnt mean we should be lobbying for [xyz]philia to be totally ok like homo/bisexuality, but it should be seen as something un-fixable, yet able to be handled safely.
the overwhelming majority of people with philias do not like the idea of acting upon these fantasies in real life - for example a lot of paedophiles despise themselves for even thinking of it, and often refuse to be near children for their safety. unfortunately its hard for people to find therapists willing to deal with these things, as they fear being ostracized and cast out with no help at all, so they turn to shota/lolicon. i don't actually see a problem with this, as it is not real, and in the majority of cases, is plenty to help keep the person on the straight and narrow. if a paedophile actively harms children (either through porn or otherwise) they are looked down upon by people who do actually understand that fantasy =/= reality. kind of how jeffrey dahmer isnt representative of all homosexuals.

i am definitely very off topic now (pm me if you for some reason want to discuss more) so ill tldr what i was going to write

tl;dr: its ok to like the fictional side of things (assuming this is real and not a passing "hmm i wonder") as long as you understand completely that fantasy =/= reality, do not consume or partake in the real life acts as that is abuse and makes you a cunt of the highest degree, and also dont turn around and be a hypocritical douchetwat about it like vade is being

here is a dikdik to make up for my 'sperging

Spoiler