Lolcow Preferences and Cows You Like/Dislike

[EI 903]

I like cows that are funny and have a bit of the abnormal psych side so that it's fun to speculate on what makes them tick and what they might do next.
- Chris, ADF, Kengle

The ones that do the absolute least for me are shuddercows and the tumblrites. Most of the tumblr folk come off as just immature and coddled, and the shuddercows just make me sad. Coming to this place to be depressed always seemed pointless to me.
-Nick Bate, Vade, that Ashley chick with anorexia

The biggest disappointments are sperg-cows, where there's something funny there but it just gets lost in waves and waves of shit.
-SlutHate, Connor, Shaner

Any thread that produces a bunch of fan art, stories, or other forum projects automatically gets a boost. I really like it when the people here create cool things and it helps tighten the community bond.

Joe Cracker is the best lolcow there is, of course.

 

[Tookie]

My favorites are the ones who have a bit of a "plotline" to go with them. Their bizarre worldviews are entertaining, but to me the best are the ones that broadcast their movements and interpersonal relationships. I like seeing normal people respond to them in real life and the dysfunctional supporting casts they seem to attract. Public spectacles (i.e. Operation Tupacalypse, CWC's macing, Shaner's trial, ADF's suicide threats) probably provide me the most entertainment.

The loveshies don't interest me at all. They all seem to be monolithic mini-Marijans repeating the same lines over and over and never really interacting with anyone because they're all shut-ins. Most of the Tumblrinas and all of the Entersphere bullshit likewise bores me because it all seems less lolcowish and more like stupidity you get from young teenagers who probably shouldn't be posting on the internet until they're a bit older.

Pixyteri is just sad.

 

[Ariel]

I like fundies, self trolling youtubers and ADF/Chris type fat autistic retards.

 

[DuskEngine]

I like cows that go to exceptional lengths to defend their bizarre world views (Iconoclast, Marjan for a bit, even Chris and ADF to a degree) and I like those that try waaaay too hard to impress or intimidate people (Thonis is the best new example of this).

I have a soft spot for fat weirdos like VNT and Strikerwolf though. Though Strikerwolf occupies that weird and uncomfortable space between horrifying, sad and funny, while VNT is much more...harmless, I guess. That's also the reason I like Kengle.

If a lolcow is more morally offensive or disgusting than humorous, that's an instant turn off. Those threads also tend to just become LOOK AT WHAT A BAD PERSON THIS GUY IS!!! rather than anything funny.

Honestly, I'd say whether or not I enjoy a thread hinges as much on the community's response to it as the cow themselves.

Cows that bore me are ones that :
-are only bad at their jobs (Dobson, Pixyteri)
-rely excessively on drama with secondary parties and anecdotal evidence to be funny (most of Tumblr)
-are funny for no other reason than that they're ideologically incorrect (the people who think ADF threads are a good place to debate why communism didn't work grind my gears)

 

[AnOminous]

Any thread that produces a bunch of fan art, stories, or other forum projects automatically gets a boost. I really like it when the people here create cool things and it helps tighten the community bond.

And yet, Shaner is the most detested cow here, and his fans are the bronies of this forum. Gimme some feels.

ETA: and yes, I'm trying not to bury him under piles of shit. It's hard!

 

[autisticdragonkin]

I find shaner amusing but he just doesn't quite have the political idiocity of sluthate and tumblr that will make me intensely follow a lolcow

 

[Hi I Am From Page 6]

A trait that interests me in cows is how some of them get absolutely fixated on things that noone cares about, such as the colour of a video games characters arms or the gender of a Pokemon. It makes me wonder if somewhere, in some small corner of their mind, they ever realise that they're flipping out over the most trivial shit.

Another trait that I like is the ability to hold views that are completely at odds with anything in the real world, even in the face of alarming evidence. Sluthate and the other redpillers are good examples of this, as are the Tumblrites.

Related to this, and it's another thing that both redpillers and SJWs do, is when people take something that is true, for example "Men pay for dinner on dates more often than women do" and exaggerate it into something ridiculous: "Men are financial slaves to women but one day we will have the power and they will no longer be able to control us with the sweet, sweet pussy" .

Finally, if I'm being honest, I have something of a fascination with lolcows who give me a "there but for the grace of God go I" feeling.

 

[plasticine]

I like tumblr lolcows because they remind me of my former self. I also enjoy foreverkailyn and pixy, mostly because i love how delusional they are and can kinda relate with them since they're both women. I don't mind random posts by ADF, Chris, or Sluthate but i find them tiring like tumblrites if i read too much of them.

 

[AnOminous]

I dislike the sluthaters most, I think. At least as people. They're also not even very good cows individually. They're just the same stupid shit over and over.

They sit on their moronic fora bitching about >tfw when no gf

Then they show up here and somehow every single one of them gets laid constantly, or could if they felt like it. And they think they can somehow impress people with ITG bullshit.

Meanwhile, they're so pathetic that even if they somehow actually showed up with a picture of them fucking your mom, you would be completely unimpressed.

Even Enterspergs were usually fucked up and autistic in some idiosyncratic way, instead of just being the same retard over and over.

 

[Megapiss]

I dislike the sluthaters most, I think. At least as people. They're also not even very good cows individually. They're just the same stupid shit over and over.

I agree. I like lolcows who do absurd, embarrassing things, and all the sluthaters/loveshies do is shitpost on forums. They're delusional, but they're boring. Why would I want to read some guy complaining about feminism and not getting laid when I could be reading about a 500lb KKK furry shitting in a diaper?

 

[TyrannoNinja]

For personal power-level reasons, it's the sex-negative and "fat acceptance" pseudo-feminists that are my favorite SJWs to hate on. Some of the anti-"cultural appropriation" wannabe anti-racists are fun to laugh at too, but honestly I have some overlap in views with the anti-whitewashing and pro-diversity crowds. Really, the most annoying thing about SJWs to me is how they try to police artists' creative output in the name of their own narrow views of "social responsibility". They are almost like evangelists in that sense.

On the other hand, white nationalists, redpill/loveshy misogynists, and extreme right-wing nuts in general are also on my love-to-hate list. I guess you could say I attack both ends of the horseshoe.

I don't really like poking fun at the fetish crowd, seeing as I have sexual preferences of my own that would seem weird to someone else. I think we all do, if we were honest about it. Nor do I like poking at people on DA that are actually autistic, since I am on the spectrum myself, unless they act like real jerks within close proximity to me.

 

[Sanae Kochiya]

After reflecting on a few things a bit more, I think that the cows that I dislike the most are the ones that are too easily manipulated, or as I said it when I was talking to some other Kiwis about it, "the ones too dumb to mock."

This would probably to be, ironically, both Len and Striker, despite me being immense fans of both. The thing that was good about Chris was that he had a degree of gullibility and naivety where you could pull off some small ruses to some extremely elaborate ones (hi Miyamoto), but he wasn't so blatantly dumb that the most obvious of fish hooks would never snag a bite (Megan impersonators). Len and Striker are different in that they are either desperate to find something that validates their oppression narrative or are legitimately more retarded than sand that they will regurgitate anything that they hear. It gets to the point where you don't even know whether or not what they're saying is them or some weens pulling the strings. I'm not here to laugh at the weens; I'm here to laugh at Striker or Len or something like that. They're the lolcows; not these idiots.

It's gotten to the point where just seeing them invade other threads is just obnoxious or tiring to me, because I just have this niggling sensation in the back of my head where the end result will ultimately be unfunny and a slog to go through.

In short, I want this:

I don't want fucking ISIS fapfiction.

 

[Abethedemon]

I like cows with meat on them. What initially attracted me to CWC was the wealth of information on practically everything he did. People like ADF, Jace, Nick Bate and to a lesser extent Mr. Enter come close, because of their frequent updates and activities. I also like cows with strange beliefs, such as all of the conspiracy theorists and Gail Schuler. Another thing I like is art, and I love to see art done in a really strange and off way, which is why deviant art and autist artists in general also sing to me. I generally don't like it when cows show up on a thread, because I prefer simply observing.
I don't really approach lolcow threads with a billion replies too often, because I like to stick with what I know.
There aren't any lolcows I don't like, really.

 

[AnOminous]

This would probably to be, ironically, both Len and Striker, despite me being immense fans of both.

I totally agree with this. I'm a huge "fan" of Len, who is in all likelihood legit retarded.

I have to resist the urge to preach on the subject of Len. People seem to think it's just horrible and awful to pick on this tard, but he's a real piece of shit as well. The numerous stories of him doing shit like grabbing a train toy from a child and smashing it because he tard raged really should eliminate any sympathy anyone has for him.

But anyway, Len is in a class of cows I should hate, the actual retards, but is in my favorites list anyway.

I think my absolute favorite is Phil, though. He combines all my favorite features into one giant, retarded ball of awful. He's personally repulsive, lacks any redeeming features at all, so schadenfreude is pretty much guilt-free. He also continually generates content without the intervention of

He's just a piece of shit you can hate at will, and everything bad that happens to him is hilarious. He's also so stupid that he guarantees bad shit happens to him on a daily basis.

 

[Strelok]

For me I don't really have any prefrences per sey, but I do tend to dislike community threads as a whole, as they often feel very personal army after awhile, or always seems to carry an undercurrent of "the fucked up thing I like isn't as bad as THIS group's fucked up thing:", ie the furry, MLP, really any fandom threads tbh. Really I just don't like when people start getting legitimately angry at the cows, turns the milk sour.

That said, any cow who seems to blatantly misunderstand the law and things they have that going for them is always a special amusement to me, as well as those who are willing to acknowledge enough of their faults to make their inevitable doubling down even more outrageous.

 

[HexBawxUno]

Like
Classic Chris
Still the gold standard of lolcows.
Modern Chris
Sure, he got arrested for the GameStop incident, but what some of the lolcows on my love-to-hate list did to get arrested make him look harmless.
Deagle Nation
Masterfully written. Jace was very sympathetic, and Tyce was a great antagonist. I did find most of the Eli stuff rather weak, though.
Dacheffen
He sets himself above the rest of the Loveshy/Manosphere knuckledraggers with his brand of crazy, like spraying Baygon into his mouth.
MylarBalloonFan
A guilty pleasure. Other than the time he hit me with copyright for mirroring some of his now-deleted/private videos, he's all right.

Love-to-hate
Phil "DSP" Burnell
His incompetent gaming made me feel better about being a lousy gamer myself, but his copyright antics and the way he treats his fans like shit puts him down here.
Phil "ADF" Haskins-Delici
What started as a highly warped but forgettable SJW has gone way off the rails recently. A hobo who deserves to be homeless because of the actions that put him there.
Len Shaner
His paranoia leading to the creation of the Puffertons, and the stories from Gook Choy, made him enjoyable. Smashing a kid's toy train moved him from laughable idiot to douchey idiot.
Jay "The Golden Knight" Geis
Was almost the perfect balance of childish and edgy - two things that I like together in a lolcow. He earns his place in the love-to-hate list for the way he treated Heather. Have to give him credit for completely disappearing. (Kirby Krisis, being similar, would have been on the like list, were he not chased away by weans.)
x86x2
Got my attention with his loose association that caused him to connect Pink Floyd to Barney. Was a guilty pleasure because of the childish-meets-edgy factor. Fell to "love-to-hate" status because he turned out to be a one-dimensional guy.
Nicole "Insert Symbols Here" Ickes
What would have been a forgettable Tumblrina rises above the rest. Once again, childish and edgy meet - in her behavior. Treats her family like shit, which is why she's down here.
Nick Bate
For being the ultimate unsympathizable creep.

Dislike
SJWs/Tumblrinas
I find them soapbox-y and preachy.
Loveshies/Manosphere
Same shit, different assholes.
Most cartoon related lolcows (Entersphere, deviant Bronies)
You have to feel strongly about the respective cartoons to really enjoy these lolcows. I usually don't.

 

[Naxra]

Lolcows who have bizarre lives and go on wacky adventures while oblivious to their insulation and protection by their families or friends, (i.e. classic Chris, Jace, etc), are easily my favourite. When their insanity is multifaceted, it allows for a lot more interesting, varied content, and the families are almost always dysfunctional as well, making for a cast which often reinforces the lolcows' behaviour. Null's excellent post about abnormal psychology being the main factor is spot on.

I don't really like the sadcows; those who are oddballs with weird interests, but have clear and diagnosable mental illnesses. This was true of Jace, but the sheer wonder of his performance kept drawing me in (I was slightly relieved when he turned out to be a ruse; schizophrenia is a sad condition all round).

Dobson, TJ, Marjan and others like them are too repetitive and one-note to really get into. The tumblrites and loveshies are just infuriating and obnoxious.

 

[c-no]

I like the old CWC. While I didn't get into him until around 2011, he was an interesting lol-cow antics were something of a read. Also enjoyed Jace if simply because I managed to read about him when he was new and was thought to be real (far back enough when we had a former member who tired to be a "liquid chris" to him).

The current cows I love to hate is non-existant. If any to put on the list, Dobson for his laziness, Wu for just going on Twitter and making claims of being innovative or saying some fictional character she never made is trans, and DSP for being a lazy piss-poor gamer who treats his fans like crap.

The cows I love to hate use to be love-shys and SJW's but now they are on a dislike list. Not really much lolcows I have a preference for but I may as well wait and see. It would take some time to find one that either falls on the like or dislike list.

 

[TheProdigalStunna]

Favorite cow is and will always be classic Jace (it's still real to me dammit!) I definitely think the most delusional cows are always going to be my favorites. ADF, MBF, and now StrikerWolf have filled the whole that Deagle Nation left. Any person with a warped view of the world with its own "lore" is going to pique my interest.

Most tumblrinas/SJWs strike me as a dime a dozen, ADF and Kylie Brooks notably excepted. Personally, I enjoy the SlutHaters a lot, but not on this site. Any time I view their site I'm nearly in tears from laughter. However, their threads here don't really seem to interest me, probably because they just repeat themselves over and over. I think they work best when they can gestate with each other in their own domain. Marijan didn't interest me either until we finally broke him and he began shitposting furiously.

Cosplaycows do absolutely nothing for me.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

I dislike cows that have too much weens involved like strikerwolf and to a lesser extent shaner