Lolcow Preferences and Cows You Like/Dislike

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TheMightyMonarch

Yee
kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 8, 2015
Once a cow replies to his or her own thread. Although it's amusing at first, it gets boring a repetitive after a while and it just sounds like a broken record. This is why Iconoclast and That pregnant Applebloom dude bore me for the most part. Also why I'm staying away from Shaner for now. Well that and it's almost 1,000 pages.

Also although I rarely get any lolz out of him, Nick Bate fascinates me for some reason. Read through his thread pretty quickly. It's pretty surreal to know that someone that deranged exists in real life.
 

Another Fellow

became a Hot Dog Expert
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Oct 12, 2015
I love them all for various reasons, but one sticks out to me.

The lolcows who create demented manifestos (Deeker, anyone?) and set psychopathic life goals (x86x2's implicit desire for some sort of 'tard-genocide) to base their lives around always fascinate me.
I love reading what they put out into the world on these subjects (I think it's a congenital abnormality that gives me a heightened sense of morbid curiosity). I love trying to fit the pieces of their puzzles together to figure out what the living fuck would make someone think/believe [x]; even better when they willingly flail and wail to justify these warped worldviews, whatever the cost. It's almost otherworldly, knowing that such people exist and share our species and nations and planet,and yet are on an entirely different plane of reality somehow, one where boys should never be toilet-trained or low-functioning autists should be wiped out for watching Barney.

Radical political beliefs and BLANGRY reactions to criticism are all well and good, but to me, they don't hold a candle to sheer, unbridled, unfailing insanity.

Or maybe I'm just a sucker for the real weird ones and I wanna explain it with spergy bullshit I dunno.
 

Clay Claymore

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 16, 2015
I especially love the animation-obsessed lolcows. It's just a goldmine of people with weird fetishes (*cough* AnimatedJames *cough*), stupid philosophies (Austin Hinton's "I don't find sex funny because I don't get any"), and the usual suspects you get with lolcows (lives-with-parents, no real job, etc.)
 

Cobains_Brain

Self Hating Autist
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Oct 16, 2015
I especially love the animation-obsessed lolcows. It's just a goldmine of people with weird fetishes (*cough* AnimatedJames *cough*), stupid philosophies (Austin Hinton's "I don't find sex funny because I don't get any"), and the usual suspects you get with lolcows (lives-with-parents, no real job, etc.)
I'd personally like to add TheVigilantChristian to the list... take a drink for everything he says is satanic. Everything from yoga, to Cow and Chicken, to the World Cup. For example, he says the World Cup is satanic because it's referenced in one sentence of '1984'.
 

MerriedxReldnahc

#1 Wogglebug Fan
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 10, 2013
I'm more likely to follow Cows that produce art in some way (though "art" is little bit of a generous term to use in some cases) like Chris, the Golden Knight, and CraftyBeautyDiva1. My drawing teacher once said that he much prefers bad art to mediocre art, and I feel the same way. I love the whole DeviantArt Horrors thread because it's a bountiful buffet of badness.
 

Another Fellow

became a Hot Dog Expert
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Oct 12, 2015
Now that I think about it, I've found another particular I enjoy in lolcows: their incredible ability to shift blame/responsibility for something to anyone who is not them. "The problem isn't on my end, it's on theirs!" If I were to write a formal diagnosis for being a lolcow, this would be one of the primary symptoms because of how common the line of thought is.
  • Chris: I shouldn't have to accept Sonic's blue arms, Sega should have to recall hundreds of thousands of product, and waste countless hours and money, to make one minor change that will make me and me alone happy. They didn't, so it's their fault I maced a guy!
  • Iconoclast/John Sweet: It's not my problem that I have an obsessive hatred of change, the liberals are too stupid to understand I'm right. It's their fault I'm 40 years old and living with my mom in a hoarder house!
  • DarkSydePhil: It's not my fault I'm hemorrhaging viewers and money because I can't take criticism and am bad with money, it's my viewers' fault for not donating more to me. It's their fault I'm a mockery in the gaming community!
  • x86x2: I'm not a crazy person for dedicating my life to hating Barney and the disabled, they're crazy for watching Barney in the vicinity of me. It's their fault I'm wasting my life getting angry over a toddler's show!
TL;DR: It's their fault, not mine!

It boggles the mind, but that's why I love it.
 

APerson

Official Lolcattle Abductor
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 26, 2015
I love the cows I can engage with. Guys like Brad Watson, Stray Sheep, StrikerWolf or James "childfucker" Mitchell, who come here, are great. I can call them morons to their faces, argue with them, and disprove their core beliefs. In the Tumblr subforum, even the cows who don't post here make passive-aggressive "i h8 teh ebil triol" crytyping posts on their tumblrs, and we know that they read their thread. OPL is just so...varied, I follow just to know what they're doing.
I don't like the Sluthate guys, though. They seem to just be the same thing, over and over again. I didn't get into Phil early enough to stomach the length of the thread, and people like PT I pity more than laugh at.
 

Megahertz

Like a damn fiddle
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Apr 18, 2015
I love surreal/geekcows. People who are absolutely obsessed with the most obscure shit imaginable and talk about it like it should be common knowledge are hilarious. The cows who have like this extensive body of creation that people in the thread dive into and post about are my favorites. Also people with extreme, absolutely out-there life views, e.g. timecube guy. I'm not that interested in SJW politics, exposure therapy has dulled the weirdness of that for me. But some tumblr dramacows, especially con artists / people who have committed actual crime are super entertaining as the thread begins to deduce their guilt.

Usually once a cow starts posting in their own thread is when I bail. It isn't as fun when all people do is say "no, you're wrong" for tens of pages. Shaner was fun for a while because people were still finding new info, but that moment is long gone...
 

Kitlen

Back from the dead... sort of.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jun 21, 2013
I love lolcows with bizarre beliefs but not with too many sexual deviancies. I like buffoons mainly (think vintage Chris). What I'm really into is researching them and digging up stuff, I really like the research end of things because I'm good at it and it's like a challenge for me.
 

Existancefan42

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Nov 13, 2015
I don't know if I can categorize this more as a fear, There is a type of person I don't like where they are in old school fps modding communities, and they
get whiney all of a sudden, now what makes me afraid of them is when you find their photo and they look like a quiet kid holding in sheer amounts of homicidal rage.
Yeah jocks can be mean, that doesn't excuse them from running into a school killing people and also causing psychological trouble on almost
a world wide scale. pardon me if I seemed upset about this.
 

Rin

Needlessly Bitchy Pigtails Girl
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Apr 27, 2015
I don't know if I can categorize this more as a fear, There is a type of person I don't like where they are in old school fps modding communities, and they
get whiney all of a sudden, now what makes me afraid of them is when you find their photo and they look like a quiet kid holding in sheer amounts of homicidal rage.
Yeah jocks can be mean, that doesn't excuse them from running into a school killing people and also causing psychological trouble on almost
a world wide scale. pardon me if I seemed upset about this.
And what does that have to do with the type of lolcows you enjoy following, again?
 

Existancefan42

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Nov 13, 2015
And what does that have to do with the type of lolcows you enjoy following, again?
Oh sorry, I really didn't know where to put that thought.
However, back on topic. I enjoy looking at lolcows on deviantart, the classic type that draws low quality ms-paint Mario/Sonic/overdone art.
Bonus points if they are above 18, and hate basic art techniques other than their own like the plague. What makes them really funny is some will
try to get back at people by drawing their oc cool, while the person they hate is presented as a monster, thus the lolcow digging his or herself into a deeper hole.
Youtube cry fights are great too.
 

sparklemilhouse

America Online for Dummies™
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 3, 2013
I don't like Mylar. I just can't wrap my head around why he must give the middle finger to everything.
 

Xarpho

plz no bully
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 27, 2014
In general, organized trolling makes lolcows uninteresting...AutisticGiovanni or whatever her name was really made Moleman less of a lolcow and more of just an antagonized sperg, Kirby arguably "derailed" Shaner, and latter day Chris really wasn't funny much. Pathetic and angry Careercows like Wu and Dobson aren't very interesting either.
 

autisticdragonkin

Eric Borsheim
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 25, 2015
I don't really like the black loveshies
I just feel like I cannot get into following them
 

Cheerlead-in-Chief

"Everyone Hates Mondays" -Ermes Costello
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 6, 2016
Favorites: Cosplaycows, since I cannot fathom dressing up as an anime character 24/4 and Artcows: If the Artcow improves their content and demeanor. :)
Careercows are a hit/miss to me, but I will still follow their threads.
Least Favorites: Schizocows like Onision
Also Tumblr-based Cows suck my pique rather quickly.