Lolcow Thunderdome -

[Flowers For Sonichu]

TWO COWS ENTER ONE COW LEAVES

Which lolcows would you like to see square off in a fight?

I would like to see Ahuviya and Jace square off. They have so much in common:

- They're both delusional nutjobs who think there are imaginary forces out to get them.
- They both change identities on a monthly basis, with Jace going from stoner dudebro to future retired marine to wolf soul while ADF went from cosplaying weeaboo to Jewish nationalist to trans latinx homeless person.
- They're both pathological liars who have no idea of what they're talking about most of the time.
- They're also both extreme bigots against those different than them.
- Neither have experienced mirth recently.
- They both have estranged friends who are now enemies with a shit affinity. Rika flings shit while Tyce gets high off it. Both were, at one point, banned from these here forums.

Despite these similarities, they're on complete opposites of the ideological spectrum, with Jace being a homophobic right wing nutjob and ADF being a far left #analchest who even hates "fire pigs".

 

[drtoboggan]

Anita Kevorkian, whoops, Sarkeesian, Zoe Quinn, and John Flynt in a Texas Deathmatch. Is that what it's still called @DrChristianTroy? I don't know wrestling.

Quinn has the disadvantage: she can't fuck her way to victory.

 

[c-no]

I'd like to see A-Log, CWC, and ADF in a Mexican standoff. One thing A-Lof and ADF share in common is that at one point, they targeted Chris. All Chris has in relation was being their target.

 

[Curt Sibling]

PixyTeri Versus ADF - Chunky showdown! A total duel to the derp!

 

[Abethedemon]

TJ vs Holden

 

[Watcher]

Chris and A-Log

 

[An Ounce of Vagina]

Nick Bate and Deeker vs. Briana Wu and Anita Sarkeesian. Just to see the queens of SJW having to touch those two. I'd give Nick and Deeker time to prepare too.

 

[drtoboggan]

I'd like to see A-Log, CWC, and ADF in a Mexican standoff. One thing A-Lof and ADF share in common is that at one point, they targeted Chris. All Chris has in relation was being their target.

And Phil would tard rage over the phrase. Bonus!

 

[Slug_Bait]

Oh yes, monumental shit.

 

[thismanlies]

Spoiler: Moviebob vs. Andrew Dobson (Warning: A Frothy Mixture of Autism and Islamic Content)

In a lonely, non-descript basement, Moviebob Chipman hears a knock at his door. He waddles up and greets his expected guest, Andrew Dobson. They warmly embrace each other, for their meeting was determined by fate. The stench of molding mayonnaise hits Dobson's nostrils like two drills boring into his brain, but he doesn't mind. For beneath that stench, he smells the intellect of a superior future.

Moviebob turns on his livestream and announces to his audience that the most important discussion in the history of mankind is about to take place, and their discussion begins amicably. They start by discussing the long-term damages done by GooberGabe and how all of Drumpf's voters would be better off serving the rest of their pathetic lives in servitude to America's version of Siberia. But then their topic shifts to the role that hot lesbians will serve in the superior future. Moviebob brings up a Rule 34 fan rendition of Princess Peach engaging in a heated embrace with Pauline, a character from Super Mario Odyssey. He makes his point how gamers viewing these two lesbionic characters outside of some perverted fan site will influence gamers to embrace progressive ideas which will usher in the superior future ruled by decadent elites who will push a globalized culture in the right direction.

But when one zooms in on Dobson's picture, they will see a vein bulge in his temple. A volcano of rage which threatens to spew molten hot magma brews inside his body. Finally, with a face cherry red, he cannot contain himself any longer. With his one trademark phrase, he lets the world know what he thinks of Moviebob's superior future.

"STOP! DOING! SEXIST! CRAP!"

Stunned, Moviebob asks him to clarify his statement. "Excuse me?"

"VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS ARE NOT TO BE SEXUALIZED! IT'S TOXIC BLOBS OF OBESE SHIT LIKE YOU THAT ENABLED THE ELECTION OF DONALD TRUMP!"

Moviebob's at a loss for what to do. Most of his confrontations happen on Twitter and those are easily won by a simple click of the block button. But he quickly realizes that he has stepped too far out of his comfort zone. So therefore he does the only thing he can do. He throws his Nintendo brand mug full of nondescript energy drink into Dobson's face and runs out his basement door as quickly as the stumps resembling his feet will take him. He hides in the back seat of his car and does the one thing that had brought him comfort in the days of his childhood. He plays Super Mario Bros on a hand held game device.

But Dobson will not let this insult stand. He waddles after Moviebob and begins banging on the back window of Moviebob's car. Moviebob makes intelligible squeals indicating that he wishes to be left alone, yet Dobson persists. Finally the weight of Dobson's girth breaks through the window which allows him to unlock the door and force his way inside. He launches himself on top of Moviebob and fights to wrestle the hand held console away. When he finally does, Dobson angrily asks "WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM?!"

With tears in his eyes, Moviebob replies "I just... I just want to isolate and contain those midwestern cretins, okay?"

Dobson replies "What the hell does that have to do with you throwing that mug full of... shit in my face?"

With tears in his eyes, Moviebob gives his answer. "You compared me to a... fucking Trump voter! Those mayonnaise ghouls are the reason why we don't have a female president. They're the reason why we're not harvesting wheat on the moon. They're the reason why white male gamers feel comfortable criticizing my beloved Zoe Quinn."

Dobson looked for a response to Moviebob's argument. But instead all he saw was the pain in Moviebob's eyes. He saw the pain of a fat man who was in all likeliness, a genetic dead end. So instead of retorting with an insult, he replied "Maybe I can be your Zoe Quinn."

From that day forward, two obese being became one. Combining Moviebob's love for Mario and Dobson's love for lesbians, they pooled their resources together to sell their Mario-themed troon pills. They retired as millionaires after selling their hormone concoctions at every Games Done Quickly convention. Thus ends the confrontation between Andrew Dobson and Moviebob Chipman. For in the end, they learned a valuable lesson.

In order to obtain the lesbian romance they desired, they themselves became lesbians.