Lolcows in Fiction (Books, TV, Movies, etc.) -

M'aiq the Liar

Khajiit Going His Own Way
kiwifarms.net
Pretty much every Witcher character.
- @Foltest for running Temeria like shit and also fucking his sister
-Iorveth for talking shit constantly and being a hypocrite, the Scoia'tael as a group
-The Order of the Rose/Eternal Flame for being religious lunatics
-The big man himself for constant drinking, gambling, and whoring while often managing to fuck up situations worse than they were
also killing his adopted son
Team 7 of Naruto
Honestly a lot of the Akatsuki too.

- Sasori for being a 40 year old virgin obsessed with his dead parents
-Deidara for getting constantly assblasted about losing
-Madara for sticking his arch enemy's face on his tit
 
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R00T

"I-It's pitch black! My future is pitch black!"
kiwifarms.net
Shinji:
  • He's a sperg who can't into relationships with women who are explicitly into him.
  • He gets to smash stuff in a giant robot but hates everything.
  • He hates his father absolutely.
  • Even masturbated when he exposed a comatose chick's boobs then says he's fucked up.
I was actually gonna say @M'aiq the Liar would be like a Terry figure that gets a cult following traveling around in search of him to seek his wisdom. Thread would be dedicated to figuring out what statements of his are lies and which ones are truths.
 

Admiral Mantoid

Griffith and Israel did nothing wrong.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
This guy.
Doctor "Eggman" Robotnik, all iterations.
Yes.
Supreme Gentleman Eggman.png
 

The Last Stand

Be very, VERY gay.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Dale Gribble would be a lolcow that would be like a weird mix of Terry A. Davis and Styx where he eventually gets an unironic following on the Farms
By today's standards, and the various examples provided here, he'd be the sanest.

Speaking of which, that pig guy from that King of the Hill episode. Or the Jane cult.
 

Pointless Pedant

Breaking the chains of gravity
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
While the real Sergey Taboritsky was already a lolcow as a Russian Jewish monarchist Nazi, the version of him in The New Order: Last Days Of Europe would be the biggest horrorcow in the history of the site.
 

Just Here for A and H

Has kink-shamed hundreds of people... to death.
kiwifarms.net
Zaros, God of Fate from famous interactive screensaver RuneScape. He almost-literally has autism and isn't able to understand basic social cues of any species or race he's encountered, values logic over emotion, and has been throwing a sulky temper tantrum for 4+ years since he got BTFO by a female deity who said he can't chill with the other female deities. He's a euphoric, IFLS-tier braincel, but if it were a deity in a fantasy video game.

Also, Dr. Neo Cortex.
 

Syaoran Li

They're Coming To Get You, Barbara!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
By today's standards, and the various examples provided here, he'd be the sanest.

Speaking of which, that pig guy from that King of the Hill episode. Or the Jane cult.

Trip Larsen's one of those weird cases where we wouldn't know if he'd be a horrorcow or have a spot in the Animal Control subforum instead.

The Omega House would definitely have their own thread in Community Watch for sure, and I could see Luanne having her own thread and being seen as one of the more benign lolcows where they're viewed more with pity than with any real contempt.

Moe Szyzlak would probably be a lolcow with a thread as well, same for Mr. Burns.

Krusty the Clown would be a textbook careercow if he were real.
 
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