Lolcows you miss/missed -

RJ MacReady

cheating bitch
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Leffen

He was a competitive Smash Bros player who was also a drama queen, and he actually got banned from tournaments for a while because he kept picking fights with people on Smashboards. All of his posts were famously archived in a file called "evidence.zip" and even today he still gets ".zip" jokes directed at him because of that. He's obviously still around, that esports visa petition that was making the rounds a while back was for him, but now he's considered one of the best Melee players worldwide and the days of actively trolling him are sorta in the past.

Also, this;
Speaking of Smash players, Mew2King interrupting an event being streamed to 6,000+ people to pay tribute to his imaginary dead catfish asian e-gf was hilarious and sad.
 

Purple People Eater

highly animated even though I'm decomposing
kiwifarms.net
I miss deerhoof/Kiki Reed when she was still on tumblr. She gained e-fame for being conventionally attractive and then ran an online store selling her old flea market pieces as well as a scattering of attempted crowdfunding schemes, avoided the very high number of customer service complaints and essentially scammed tons of people out of money for products they never received (myself included; although I evetually received a damaged package of a dollar-store hodgepodge passed off as a skin-care kit over a year after I ordered it when the estimated time was 2-3 weeks) and spent the money on shitty tattoos. She doesn't have much of an internet presence now, but good for her I guess.

EDIT: How could I forget, she's also responsible for the infamous "sucks is a slur" tumblr post.
 
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Debrotherized Luigi

Late Night Delight
kiwifarms.net
Not sure if she counts, since she's never had a thread and was before the time of the Farms, but Zeriara is a lolcow I miss and have a morbid fascination for. Especially given her fascination with hopping on whatever fandom is popular at the moment (I looked at her Weasyl gallery: aside from the fact she hasn't improved in years, she's doing all kinds of Pony shit now with her awful OCs. Her Tumblr blog is mostly Marvel movies, Star Wars, and Steven Universe; but no fan art as far as I can tell, thank God) , her 2edgy4u style, pedophilic tendencies, being a con artist/thief when it comes to taking on unfinished commission after unfinished commission, and stealing character designs, in addition to her tryhard edgelord style. And she may or may not now be on the "die cis scum" train, too. But she's an odd case in that she's just enough of a shitlord that I don't think the SJWs of Tumblr would want anything to do with her.

Reason why I say I "miss" her -in the loosest sense possible", is at this point at time and at her age (she's 31 and still acting like she's 15), she's fallen into major irrelevancy in recent years and doesn't stand out at all like she used to, heck, maybe she's not even a lolcow in the modern sense anymore. If nothing else, for those of us who remember her back when she was actually "somebody" and/or a boogeyman, she's become a "Remember when?"-style punchline. I kinda miss the days when some LJ groups would say "Oh great, what's Zeriara doing again today....?" lmao. No one like her has really come around since then, tbh.
 

DykesDykesChina

Human/Science
Deceased
kiwifarms.net
Him:


I sort of like him; I keep re-watching his videos whenever I need something to give me fuzzy-wuzzies... :heart-full:
 
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commandersalamander

giggle exhale
kiwifarms.net
IDK if he counts, but I really miss Chris Crocker. He deleted his Youtube account. He's still around on facebook and vine, but his videos aren't the same anymore. I also miss when he was at the height of fame from around 07-09. Part of what made him funny was all the media drama and publicity that circulated around him. He made so many people rage, and Chris really loved the attention and was ridiculously hammy as a result. It was hilarious.

Fortunately, "Leave Brittney Alone!" and "Eat My Cornhole!" are still up. Those videos will never not be funny to me.
 

Darwin Watterson

Holy fuck, the site looks like hot garbage now
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
It's a shame that Kiwi Farms started when it did because we ended up missing out on an epic lolcow in the form of Sam Mraovich.

Mraovich was a hack movie director who made this really terrible movie called Ben and Arthur that could best be described as the gay version of The Room (or, since it was released before, The Room would be the straight Ben and Arthur). It's a movie that really has to be seen to be believed. It's supposed to be about these two gay guys who want to get married so they go to Hawaii (I think; it's been a while since I've seen it) where it's legal to do so. Despite that simple-sounding plot, its execution is completely batshit.

Mraovich was extremely protective of his work and was known to chimp out at people in the comments sections of YouTube uploads of clips from the movie. He also wrote a ton of fake good reviews for it on IMDB

Unfortunately though, this happened around 2009-ish and he's long since gotten better (or at least learned to keep his saltiness to himself).
 
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sparklemilhouse

America Online for Dummies™
kiwifarms.net
I just remembered David Tanny the guy on encyclopedia dramatica who was obsessed with radio stations and dr demento oh and the parody songs!
 

Morose_Obesity

Let white people enjoy things
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I kinda miss the psychotic communities of sister sites Twop and Fametracker.
Some of the posters live on at Previously.tv, but back in the day they lived in fear of the moderators and had secret forums dedicated to their foaming at the mouth obsessions.
 
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AnOminous

do you see what happens
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
I kinda miss the psychotic communities of sister sites Twop and Fametracker.
Some of the posters live on at Previously.tv, but back in the day they lived in fear of the moderators and had secret forums dedicated to their foaming at the mouth obsessions.
That site had some douchey mods that could almost compete with the troon mods on SA.
 
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ComeoutandJULAY

BURN BURN BURN TO THE GROUND BU-BURN TO THE GROUND
kiwifarms.net
Definitely Spax3 (GAYMUR FAAAAAAAANZ), the Sonic fanboy who wanted to fuck "Creab" the Rabbit. The stuff he did in 2007-09, especially with all the lawsuit shit as well as his intense hatred of GRIFFITH!!!, was just marvelous to see. He's more or less the reason why people still discuss voice acting in Sonic games, so you have him to thank/blame for that.

Nowadays you don't really see him much in the limelight anymore. It's sad that he ended up becoming just another brony.

Here's what his website looked like:


Oh, and who could forget all the parodies of him?

 
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AnOminous

do you see what happens
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Definitely Spax3 (GAYMUR FAAAAAAAANZ), the Sonic fanboy who wanted to fuck "Creab" the Rabbit. The stuff he did in 2007-09, especially with all the lawsuit shit as well as his intense hatred of GRIFFITH!!!, was just marvelous to see. He's more or less the reason why people still discuss voice acting in Sonic games, so you have him to thank/blame for that.
It's hard to imagine a name more directly aimed at furfags than "Cream the Rabbit." I mean seriously, wtf?
 

Daisuke Jigen

Live like a windrammer as you fuck...
kiwifarms.net
I'm not sure exactly how much he'd count as a lolcow, but I miss Frank Garrett (aka "Duncan"). He was a famous victim of the soundboard prank call community who was well-known for his quick-witted responses. Unfortunately, he died a couple years ago.
I did not expect anybody here to know about Frank. I'm making that my answer. I actually made 3 different calls to him between August 2010-May 2011. I have the last thing he said to me verbatim in my mind; "Yew god damn little ignorant pimple-faced son of a bitch you, quit calling me!". I miss him, but he's earned his rest from the calls. Thanks for the laughs, Frank.

I regret that I missed out on the Golden-era of Chris Chan trolling, that's for sure (2007-2009).
 
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Big Nasty

Unfettered scum
kiwifarms.net
I remember a really obscure person of interest from some 10 or so years ago, that may or may not have used the name "Caridad Rivas". The person claimed to be female and had a Deviantart account with drawings in a weird Doonesbury-meets-anime style. There were mostly two very bizarre types of drawings on this account:

1) Guys in Nazi uniforms with 1970's hairstyles having romantic gay encounters.

2) American political figures, such as Dick Cheney, wearing 1970's menswear and hairstyles having romatic gay encounters.

Anyone else recognize this?
 

LagoonaBlue

Harriet Louise Connor (No bully; have Autism)
Person of Interest
kiwifarms.net
I kinda miss Gallantmon8. I know he's still active on Youtube, Twitter etc. but I miss him on deviantart.

He's basically Chris-chan 2, in that he's a lazy autist who spends any money he gets on toys, his parents coddle and spoil him and refuse to help him get a job or any sort of independence, he has a Patreon set up because he ran into "money troubles" (he has no patrons)...there's other reasons but I won't bore you.

Oh, and he has an obsessive crush on Rosalina, going so far as to block anyone else with a slight interest in the character.

he was banned from deviantart because he's a paedophile, pretty much.
 
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