Lord of the Rings TV Series in Development - How could this POSSIBLY go wrong...

Dang Woodchucks!

Haachama Prometheus
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Feb 22, 2020
I don't particularly like Nerdrotic, but it seems that this show is going to have a slew of financial troubles.
Hopefully it will be a stillborn franchise before too much damage is done.
wow We don't even have a trailer for this shit and they already booted everyone who had a shred of ability for literal whos. :story:
 

RomanesEuntDomus

Kiwifarms hauseigener Quotennager
True & Honest Fan
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God beware we actually get a show that is made for a certain, specific demographic that enjoys LOTR. That would be crazy.
What we need is yet another wokefied, uninspired vehicle to peddle political ideologies in a desperate attempt to appeal to a market that will never give a shit about LOTR.
 

Hugbox Kommissar

You wouldn't download an ideology
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Try to please everyone and you'll please no one. This is just going to end up as a bland slurry of violence and intrigue with maybe some nice visuals and a couple of corporate approved deep lore references so all those shitty clickbait sites can regurgitate their articles about "10 Silmarillion References You Might Have Missed From Amazon's Lord of the Rings".
 

KEKMUHLORD

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Standardized Profile

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Lord of the Rings Needs to Work For a 'Giant, Global Audience' Says Amazon Studios Chief
Does China even care about Lord of the Rings? Because we all know this is about China.
Tolkien: I'm going to write a mythology for the English people. It will be a fundamentally Catholic work, but I will also draw upon Northern European mythology. The protagonists will meet an array of kings and lords but their own society will be a minarchy, because I don't care much for governments. And the villains will rule over highly-regimented hordes, despoiling the land and building heavy industry to support their war machine.

Amazon: Yeah, about that, here's a list of things we'll need to change....
 

ditto

Don't worry about it
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And the villains will rule over highly-regimented hordes, despoiling the land and building heavy industry to support their war machine.

gettyimages-459987396-2048x2048.jpg

At least it's not a war machine at least not yet
 

Duncan Hills Coffee

Sewn back together wrong
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Lord of the Rings Needs to Work For a 'Giant, Global Audience' Says Amazon Studios Chief
Does China even care about Lord of the Rings? Because we all know this is about China.
The fact that the book has remained a treasured piece of fantasy nearly 70 years after its initial publication and is still the most influential book in the genre should tell these fucks that this is an incredibly wrong-headed statement.

But of course we can't have straight adaptations of classic works anymore, not when we're at risk of not attracting that sweet foreign dollar.
 
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Standardized Profile

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Oct 5, 2018
I can't wait for the nigger elves.

Dark Elves are canon. They're uncivilized assholes who live in forests and caves, and they speak a debased, ugly form of Elvish that the High Elves can't even understand. They had the opportunity to go into the West where they would enjoy the tutelage of the gods, but chose to stay behind out of laziness or (for Elu Thingol) pussy. The very best of them, the Sindar, simply lived in a better cave than the others, protected by a minor deity who had inexplicably fallen in love with their king. Their improved material condition did not enhance their character, which remained no better than the wild elves of the woods. The Sindar got pissed off when the Noldor called them Dark Elves, so the Noldor agreed to call these semi-civilized cavedwellers Umanyar, "Not-of-Aman," to soothe their fragile egos. But in private, they continue to call them Dark Elves and laugh at them.

The sad part is the Noldorin exiles eventually adopted Umanyar culture. They all spoke Sindarin instead of Quenya, and many of them lived in trees and caves. The Noldor of Eregion developed an unhealthy love of jewelry or "bling" as they probably called it--which, to be fair, was nascent in their race even before they met the Sindar--and that led to all kinds of problems with Sauron. Even Galadriel, who was once an urbane conqueror, ended up the lady of a simple and rustic people, ruling over them from a treehouse. Through contact with the Sindar, the Noldor became a disgraceful, embarrassing people, and it's easy to see why many of them were not permitted to sail into the West. Imagine seeing your cousin for the first time in 4000 years and they show up covered in gaudy mithril, wearing magic rings that don't even work, speaking in some mush-mouthed dialect even the loremasters can't comprehend.
 

FaramirG

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Feb 2, 2020
My expectations are so low that as long as I get a solid 5 minutes of the Fall of Numenor with good special effects then I'll be happy. Not even the whole story, just Al-Pharazon's fleet getting absolutely wrecked by the Valar and the island following soon after. The rest of the show can be about a stunning and brave Easterling/Haradrim woman lecturing Elendil about his Westernesse male privilege for all I care.
 

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