Lord of the Rings TV Series in Development - How could this POSSIBLY go wrong...

[Your Weird Fetish]

Both of those are fine art compared to (i) don't dislike them, i need to rewatch them to make sure i can remember it all) the bullet that was John Boorman and Rospo Palienberg script which had the following changes among other: Gimli would have been put in a hole and beaten so he can retrieve from his ancestral memory the password to get into Moria, Frodo and Galadriel have sex, Arwen is instead a teenaged spiritual guide to Aragorn while Êowyn is his love interest and remember how Aragorn heal Êowyn? In this script he heals her on the battlefield and it has sexual undertones, i'm dead fucking serious.
And yet i can feel it in my very being that i will be utterly shocked if it doesn't take a short time before freaks out there will create something worse

What the fuck was wrong with people in that decade?

 

[Capsaicin Addict]

Both of those are fine art compared to (i) don't dislike them, i need to rewatch them to make sure i can remember it all) the bullet that was John Boorman and Rospo Palienberg script which had the following changes among other:

How bad could this be--

Gimli would have been put in a hole and beaten so he can retrieve from his ancestral memory the password to get into Moria,

I'm sorry, what?

Frodo and Galadriel have sex,

Arwen is instead a teenaged spiritual guide to Aragorn while Êowyn is his love interest and remember how Aragorn heal Êowyn? In this script he heals her on the battlefield and it has sexual undertones, i'm dead fucking serious.

And yet i can feel it in my very being that i will be utterly shocked if it doesn't take a short time before freaks out there will create something worse

Yeah, never bet against 'it could always be worse'. Still, what the fuck.

 

[Cyril Sneer]

Reminder that Boorman's Excalibur features a scene where Arthur's mother Igraine is stripped naked and raped by Uther Pendragon, with Igraine being played by Katrine Boorman, the director's daughter.

What the fuck was wrong with people in that decade?

It was the Age of Aquarius, apparently.

 

[frozenrunner]

This isn't directly related, but apparently the Dark Tower series at Amazon is dead. The suits saw the pilot and decided it wasn't coming together as "well" as LotR or Wheel of Time

How bad could the pilot have been? It sounds like they used Wizard and Glass as the starting point, which is a terrible idea. (It's also, curiously, the same thing HBO originally planned to do, to somehow tie in with the flop film from a few years ago. I still don't understand why you would make a miniseries explaining the backstory to a single film, but okay.) But if they stuck to the source material, how bad could it really have been? W&G is a great book.

Maybe they noticed a lack of black people in the cast and freaked out. "This isn't woke like LotR!"

 

[Your Weird Fetish]

This isn't directly related, but apparently the Dark Tower series at Amazon is dead. The suits saw the pilot and decided it wasn't coming together as "well" as LotR or Wheel of Time

How bad could the pilot have been? It sounds like they used Wizard and Glass as the starting point, which is a terrible idea. (It's also, curiously, the same thing HBO originally planned to do, to somehow tie in with the flop film from a few years ago. I still don't understand why you would make a miniseries explaining the backstory to a single film, but okay.) But if they stuck to the source material, how bad could it really have been? W&G is a great book.

Maybe they noticed a lack of black people in the cast and freaked out. "This isn't woke like LotR!"

Is Odetta woke or unwoke?

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

What the fuck was wrong with people in that decade?

Drugs. Unholy, copious amounts of drugs. John Boorman was doing so many drugs at that time that he barely remembered making Zardoz, the film he did instead of LOTR. And i needn't tell you how weird Zardoz was, since it seems to be on every cult movie review site.

 

[don't tred on snek]

Reminder that Boorman's Excalibur features a scene where Arthur's mother Igraine is stripped naked and raped by Uther Pendragon, with Igraine being played by Katrine Boorman, the director's daughter.

And that scene somehow manages to still be funny, because Uther is doing it without taking off his full plate armour.

 

[Varg Did Nothing Wrong]

Is Odetta woke or unwoke?

On the one hand she is a strong black woman who don't need no man

On the other hand she talks like Aunt Jemima

 

[Cyril Sneer]

And that scene somehow manages to still be funny, because Uther is doing it without taking off his full plate armour.

I don't think any of the knights ever take off their plate armor in that movie.

 

[Miller]

Apparently, according to a LotR fansite, they've fired the whole writing staff and Tom Shippey has been let go too.

 

[Maggots on a Train v2]

I hope this will now get eaten up in development hell, and its sole use will be to bleed Netflix of as much money as possible.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Apparently, according to a LotR fansite, they've fired the whole writing staff and Tom Shippey has been let go too.

That has NEVER been a good sign in the history of anything.

 

[Miller]

That has NEVER been a good sign in the history of anything.

Indeed and it's hardly a surprise, the two showrunners are from Bad Robot (like a lot of people in the production).

I hope this will now get eaten up in development hell, and its sole use will be to bleed Netflix of as much money as possible.

It's an Amazon production, not Netflix.

 

[tehpope]

I hope this will now get eaten up in development hell, and its sole use will be to bleed Netflix of as much money as possible.

Considering its Amazon, doubtful. Unless they start losing their shirt over people not ording as much because of corona-chan.

 

[Dom Cruise]

The first Hobbit is thoroughly "OK". Battle of Five Armies is a disaster though. Just watch the Rankin Bass version.

I saw the first Hobbit in theaters and liked it ok, but I couldn't be arsed to see the second and third ones.

This isn't directly related, but apparently the Dark Tower series at Amazon is dead. The suits saw the pilot and decided it wasn't coming together as "well" as LotR or Wheel of Time

How bad could the pilot have been? It sounds like they used Wizard and Glass as the starting point, which is a terrible idea. (It's also, curiously, the same thing HBO originally planned to do, to somehow tie in with the flop film from a few years ago. I still don't understand why you would make a miniseries explaining the backstory to a single film, but okay.) But if they stuck to the source material, how bad could it really have been? W&G is a great book.

Maybe they noticed a lack of black people in the cast and freaked out. "This isn't woke like LotR!"

Really bums me out that Dark Tower can't seem to get a proper adaptation, there's loads of potential, it's the kind of thing you can see so clearly in your mind's eye that it just doesn't make sense why Hollywood can't do it right.

Out of all these big fantasy book series it's the only one I've read and yet I don't get the luxury of seeing it brought to life properly, feels bad man.

Drugs. Unholy, copious amounts of drugs. John Boorman was doing so many drugs at that time that he barely remembered making Zardoz, the film he did instead of LOTR. And i needn't tell you how weird Zardoz was, since it seems to be on every cult movie review site.

You can't beat that combo of Sean Connery's ponytail, mustache and red diaper.

 

[Shield Breaker]

Just watch the Rankin Bass version.

That was my favorite movie as a kid. Rented it a ton of times from the video store until I got a copy for my birthday that year.

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

I want a Never Ending Story tv series. I love lotr but I think NES has more potential.

...If it weren't for the current year where everything gets changed into poc, lghtxyz representation horror.

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

I saw the first Hobbit in theaters and liked it ok, but I couldn't be arsed to see the second and third ones.



Really bums me out that Dark Tower can't seem to get a proper adaptation, there's loads of potential, it's the kind of thing you can see so clearly in your mind's eye that it just doesn't make sense why Hollywood can't do it right.

Out of all these big fantasy book series it's the only one I've read and yet I don't get the luxury of seeing it brought to life properly, feels bad man.



You can't beat that combo of Sean Connery's ponytail, mustache and red diaper.

I really want to read Boorman's script for LOTR, though, just to see what kind of wacky crack-fic a pretentious director taking enough drugs to kill a horse can come up with during his most lucid moments. Can you imagine what his take on Tom Bombadil would have been?

 

[Your Weird Fetish]

Really bums me out that Dark Tower can't seem to get a proper adaptation, there's loads of potential, it's the kind of thing you can see so clearly in your mind's eye that it just doesn't make sense why Hollywood can't do it right.

Out of all these big fantasy book series it's the only one I've read and yet I don't get the luxury of seeing it brought to life properly, feels bad man.

How could Hollywood get it right when Stephen King couldn't?

 

[Comicsgeist]

How could Hollywood get it right when Stephen King couldn't?

In the same way that Hollywood has always got adaptions of his work right, (from the Shining and Misery to Stand by Me, Shawshank and Delores Claibourne), by turning the Stephen King in your Stephen King adaption down from 11 to about 6 and avoiding all the stupid coke fueled shit he wrote, ditching the stilted dialogue and aiming for a satisfying ending that probably best ignores the book.