Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[PeeveTheSheev]

I have two stories to share of FtMs who I have no personal investment in other than observing their behaviour after having interacted with them in the past.

The first is the daughter of bookshop owners who are best known for continually pissing off the traditionalist/conservative town they are based in with left-wing schemes, including denouncing Christmas due to celebrations being offensive to minorities. The daughter received her mother's name upon birth, which might clue you into their family dynamic. This girl studied theatre art, working on her own projects such as hanging out with hookers in an erotic gay club and locking herself into a room in an almost-naked state for a few days straight with only paint and canvas to keep her occupied. She culturally enriched a country in Asia for about a year and is currently teaching theatre to children in immigrant / refugee camps. I'm surprised she hasn't been strung up by the parents yet.

This girl always presented with shortish hair but in the past year started to require they / them pronouns and lobbed off her breasts via a mastectomy. She seems unhealthily obsessed with them though, frequently showing off her grotesque scars as well as calling attention to custom breasted stuff animals and coffee mugs with nipples. She is currently producing a webseries about breasts and recorded possibly the worst theme song in existence, which I sadly cannot share without revealing her identity. She also lived in a campervan for a while, but currently occupies a regular apartment where she expands her collection of gaudy tattoos and nose piercings.

-----​

The other case is a girl I had physical relations with - I was older than her and ran into her right as she started her BSc in a STEM field. This was a plenty feminine person, who enjoyed riding her horses and playing games like the Sims and Assassin's Creed which are traditionaly popular with the fairer sex - I later heard she had her walls painted with a landscape taken from some indie game. While a bit chunky, this was unmistakably a woman but I suspect it was the enablers she surrounded herself with that sent her down the troon path. She ended up taking hormones, growing out facial hair but completely failing to pass, changed her name, and recently got engaged to a man that claims to be homosexual and has the nastiest hair you'll ever see. The girl now works in a dead-end job wherein she resets passwords for clueless old people all day - the Bsc and later Msc going to complete waste.

Both girls have no child-rearing ambitions and instead dote on pets instead. Neither had a history of mental illness but did sit at the centre of support networks that enabled them - the former case encouraged by her artsy friends and the strangest set of parents you'll ever meet while the latter case was encouraged by the gamer crowd that has led to so many men trooning out.


Having read this thread I feel like most of the experiences described by Farmers deal with MtF transitions, so hopefully this post will have highlighted the other side of the coin some more (or really just entertained one of you). Women are perhaps just as susceptible to being lured into irreparably damaging their bodies by subsets of society that reward such behaviour as men are. The former girl was likely a lost cause anyway with parents like the ones she has, but the latter could be seen in a different light; in this brave and stunning current year she spends her days popping hormones and pegging a man, whereas she would almost certainly have matured into a normal Cisgender mother had she been born as little as ten years earlier.

 

[The Emperor Skeksis]

I have two stories to share of FtMs who I have no personal investment in other than observing their behaviour after having interacted with them in the past.

The first is the daughter of bookshop owners who are best known for continually pissing off the traditionalist/conservative town they are based in with left-wing schemes, including denouncing Christmas due to celebrations being offensive to minorities. The daughter received her mother's name upon birth, which might clue you into their family dynamic. This girl studied theatre art, working on her own projects such as hanging out with hookers in an erotic gay club and locking herself into a room in an almost-naked state for a few days straight with only paint and canvas to keep her occupied. She culturally enriched a country in Asia for about a year and is currently teaching theatre to children in immigrant / refugee camps. I'm surprised she hasn't been strung up by the parents yet.

This girl always presented with shortish hair but in the past year started to require they / them pronouns and lobbed off her breasts via a mastectomy. She seems unhealthily obsessed with them though, frequently showing off her grotesque scars as well as calling attention to custom breasted stuff animals and coffee mugs with nipples. She is currently producing a webseries about breasts and recorded possibly the worst theme song in existence, which I sadly cannot share without revealing her identity. She also lived in a campervan for a while, but currently occupies a regular apartment where she expands her collection of gaudy tattoos and nose piercings.

-----​

The other case is a girl I had physical relations with - I was older than her and ran into her right as she started her BSc in a STEM field. This was a plenty feminine person, who enjoyed riding her horses and playing games like the Sims and Assassin's Creed which are traditionaly popular with the fairer sex - I later heard she had her walls painted with a landscape taken from some indie game. While a bit chunky, this was unmistakably a woman but I suspect it was the enablers she surrounded herself with that sent her down the troon path. She ended up taking hormones, growing out facial hair but completely failing to pass, changed her name, and recently got engaged to a man that claims to be homosexual and has the nastiest hair you'll ever see. The girl now works in a dead-end job wherein she resets passwords for clueless old people all day - the Bsc and later Msc going to complete waste.

Both girls have no child-rearing ambitions and instead dote on pets instead. Neither had a history of mental illness but did sit at the centre of support networks that enabled them - the former case encouraged by her artsy and the strangest set of parents you'll ever meet while the latter case was encouraged by the gamer crowd that has led to so many men trooning out.


Having read this thread I feel like most of the experiences described by Farmers deal with MtF transitions, so hopefully this post will have highlighted the other side of the coin some more (or really just entertained one of you). Women are possibly just as susceptible to being lured into irreparably damaging their bodies by subsets of society that reward such behaviour as men are. The former girl was likely a lost cause anyway with parents like the ones she has, but the latter could be seen in a different light; in this brave and stunning current year she spends her days popping hormones and pegging a man, whereas she would almost certainly have matured into a normal Cisgender mother had she been born as little as ten years earlier.

The second girl sounds like a pretty cool person and someone I would have enjoyed hanging out with in my twenties. How incredibly sad, she could have made a good life for herself.

 

[Kornula]

Yesterday, I was sitting in a coffee shop when a former "friend" I have known for 25 years walked in, saw me and walked right back out.
Before yesterday, I had not seen nor heard from this person in 2 years.

I have two stories to share of FtMs who I have no personal investment in other than observing their behaviour after having interacted with them in the past.

The first is the daughter of bookshop owners who are best known for continually pissing off the traditionalist/conservative town they are based in with left-wing schemes, including denouncing Christmas due to celebrations being offensive to minorities. The daughter received her mother's name upon birth, which might clue you into their family dynamic. This girl studied theatre art, working on her own projects such as hanging out with hookers in an erotic gay club and locking herself into a room in an almost-naked state for a few days straight with only paint and canvas to keep her occupied. She culturally enriched a country in Asia for about a year and is currently teaching theatre to children in immigrant / refugee camps. I'm surprised she hasn't been strung up by the parents yet.

This girl always presented with shortish hair but in the past year started to require they / them pronouns and lobbed off her breasts via a mastectomy. She seems unhealthily obsessed with them though, frequently showing off her grotesque scars as well as calling attention to custom breasted stuff animals and coffee mugs with nipples. She is currently producing a webseries about breasts and recorded possibly the worst theme song in existence, which I sadly cannot share without revealing her identity. She also lived in a campervan for a while, but currently occupies a regular apartment where she expands her collection of gaudy tattoos and nose piercings.

-----​

The other case is a girl I had physical relations with - I was older than her and ran into her right as she started her BSc in a STEM field. This was a plenty feminine person, who enjoyed riding her horses and playing games like the Sims and Assassin's Creed which are traditionaly popular with the fairer sex - I later heard she had her walls painted with a landscape taken from some indie game. While a bit chunky, this was unmistakably a woman but I suspect it was the enablers she surrounded herself with that sent her down the troon path. She ended up taking hormones, growing out facial hair but completely failing to pass, changed her name, and recently got engaged to a man that claims to be homosexual and has the nastiest hair you'll ever see. The girl now works in a dead-end job wherein she resets passwords for clueless old people all day - the Bsc and later Msc going to complete waste.

Both girls have no child-rearing ambitions and instead dote on pets instead. Neither had a history of mental illness but did sit at the centre of support networks that enabled them - the former case encouraged by her artsy friends and the strangest set of parents you'll ever meet while the latter case was encouraged by the gamer crowd that has led to so many men trooning out.


Having read this thread I feel like most of the experiences described by Farmers deal with MtF transitions, so hopefully this post will have highlighted the other side of the coin some more (or really just entertained one of you). Women are perhaps just as susceptible to being lured into irreparably damaging their bodies by subsets of society that reward such behaviour as men are. The former girl was likely a lost cause anyway with parents like the ones she has, but the latter could be seen in a different light; in this brave and stunning current year she spends her days popping hormones and pegging a man, whereas she would almost certainly have matured into a normal Cisgender mother had she been born as little as ten years earlier.

Correct me if I am wrong, but I learned from a psychology teacher that we humans tend to seek "safety in numbers" We will surround ourselves with what makes us feel 'safe" (or at least the familiar) Rarely do we venture out our comfort zone.
What I find somewhat amusing and/or baffling is John Waters has stated pubically many times to step out of your comfort zone. Something he has not done yet.

 

[Odnovo]

Correct me if I am wrong, but I learned from a psychology teacher that we humans tend to seek "safety in numbers" We will surround ourselves with what makes us feel 'safe" (or at least the familiar) Rarely do we venture out our comfort zone.
What I find somewhat amusing and/or baffling is John Waters has stated pubically many times to step out of your comfort zone. Something he has not done yet.

They only say this for others to do when it is to their own personal benefit; they never mean it for themselves, because they feel that they never have to change for others.

 

[ThatOneLurker]

A dear friend of mine I've been friends with since highschool recently got sucked into a cringey lefty D&D group. Ever since, I can see the start of his trooning out. It's worth notice that he is very autistic and basically adapts his personality to match that of whatever group he is having the most fun with at the time. He's begun to change his profile picture to anime girls, has weird status messages on discord like "I am the useless Lesbian", and other shit.

We got in a fight recently over a joke I made that he took extremely seriously. It wasn't anything extreme either. It was one of those JK Rowling jokes that everyone used to make like two years ago or whatever, and it was in regards to a character from a show we both like that he was claiming was gay because the voice actor said so. He became unhinged and started absolutely trashing me as a racist, homophobic/transphobic asshole—which I kind of am—but until very recently, we had shared most of the same humor. When I called him out on this, he said he never made such jokes and that he was appalled that I had.

I was pretty concerned at this point, and since he's essentially a child stuck in a man's body, I called his caretakers to make sure they knew about the kind of people he was hanging out with on the internet. They're two conservative grandparents, so I expected them to tard wrangle him and beat some sense into him, but ever since he's just gotten worse and has pretty much begun to shun me. He's left all our shared communication channels and blocked me on everything—even my cellphone number. I've just kind of been in shock since, because literally less than two weeks ago he was making fun of troons and laughing along with me.

I'm hoping this is just a phase he's going through since he's hanging out with these D&D nerds, but I'm worried for him and any day now I'm expecting him to start putting pronouns in his social media and going by "ma'am". The last fucking thing I want is to see him become a freak like Chris Chan or something. Half of my high-school life was sticking up for him against bullies and whatnot; trying to teach him how to act normal and make friends. It feels like all of that was a waste now.

Edit: Grammatical errors.

 

[mario if smoke weed]

I've had several online gaming friends who I've lost to the trans cult over the course of a few years. Most of them were younger, more impressionable guys wanting to cut off their dicks to feel better or something. They probably thought they'd feel better after ruining their bodies with copious amounts of estrogen, but they each turned out worse after trooning out. Even though I'd like to say I give no shits about any of them anymore because they're annoying freaks now, I feel pity towards them. It's easy for lefties with depression or low self-esteem and a lack of awareness to fall into these traps. I'd talk some sense into their ears too but most troons won't listen until they've 41%'d themselves.

 

[Had]

Now I'm very unnerved of trans people, especially mtfs.

I don't think that men have the same view on FTM's that women have on MTF's
When Men meet FTM's I don't think much of us care.

No one is worried about "girls in the boys locker room" even the worst FTM', I've ever met, I would describe them as mean and crude rather than predatory. There is no real Male equivalent of terfs, even the normies I know who would talk about it are more worried about men in women's sports than anything else.

As more MTF's grow in population It'll be interesting to see what will happen in the tug of war between the two groups.

"I am the useless Lesbian"

>transbian
They are always the worst

 

[Joe Swanson]

There was a girl who I knew since primary school who grew up to be a 10/10 by collage, who ended up trooning out because of reverse traps in some anime.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

I just have to say, if you fags almost transitioned because some pervert told you you were a girl in a mans body, you must be a special kind of retarded.

 

[DiscoRodeo]

I don't think that men have the same view on FTM's that women have on MTF's
When Men meet FTM's I don't think much of us care.

No one is worried about "girls in the boys locker room" even the worst FTM', I've ever met, I would describe them as mean and crude rather than predatory. There is no real Male equivalent of terfs, even the normies I know who would talk about it are more worried about men in women's sports than anything else.

FtMs I just have pity for; but when it comes to TERFs there is legitimate concern over some 5'12 jacked guy walking into a rape center or other pervy shit going on.

I'm not physically scared by a 4 foot FtM overall and just see them as a kind of lost person, the part that does disturb me more than anything is when kids do it needlessly, and the rate by which this was rapidly increasing a few years ago. Otherwise, I have it pretty good as a guy generally and if some FtM wants to speak up on my political issues? What issues do I even have to worry about that are sex related and could get co-opted? Honestly, not many.

inb4 custody rights or typical MRA stuff. Don't really give much of a shit, pick out a good partner and if you stick your dick in crazy- you had your own part to play in your own downfall.

 

[Michael Jacks0n]

FtMs I just have pity for; but when it comes to TERFs there is legitimate concern over some 5'12 jacked guy walking into a rape center or other pervy shit going on.

I'm not physically scared by a 4 foot FtM overall and just see them as a kind of lost person, the part that does disturb me more than anything is when kids do it needlessly, and the rate by which this was rapidly increasing a few years ago. Otherwise, I have it pretty good as a guy generally and if some FtM wants to speak up on my political issues? What issues do I even have to worry about that are sex related and could get co-opted? Honestly, not many.

inb4 custody rights or typical MRA stuff. Don't really give much of a shit, pick out a good partner and if you stick your dick in crazy- you had your own part to play in your own downfall.

In my personal experiences, FtM troons were just hella ugly lesbians with shitty facial hair like the kind of piss-poor moustache I tried to grow when I was 15. MtF troons on the other hand have all been tantamount to Boris Karloff's Frankenstein with a wig and lipstick.

 

[AzusaTitsExpert]

Note: if your friend or loved one transitioned and stayed the same cool person and are chill with themselves and you, more power to both you and them. This is for coping with people who destructively transitioned.



Inspired by post in the trans mega thread, this thread is to complain & cope with losing loved ones to transitioning, as well ask ask for advice on how to handle them. I'll share mine to get the thread started.


I shared my story before: my good friend decided to become they them after graduating college. Said they were thinking about it the whole time they were going through game development school, and were happier being reffered to by they or he. This kinda came out of nowhere: she was always liberal and supportive, but she never really mentioned her gender much. Two years later she moved to another city with a few game dev friends, and over the course of 2020, decided to get hormone treatment in spite of saying a year before she didn't want the side effects of body hair all over, just a deeper voice and a more androgynous appearance. She also joined antifa as a medic. I have a feeling she was aimless after college and felt trapped and insecure, and disillusioned with her career path, so she decided to transition because it seemed like it would make her happy. She doesn't have any long term goals after transitioning and I fear that once she finishes, she'll be even more depressed and empty. She struggles with anxiety, depression, and adhd and I feel like that fueled some of the disconnect. After getting her first shot of T she went into a 2 month period of not taking care of herself, but is slowly going back to it. Her friends are mostly queer genderspecials, so I'm alone and too far to help break her out of it. I wish I knew how to stop worrying about her, but I find myself checking on her every month or so. Losing someone while they're still alive is hard to do.

Feel free to share your stories, coping strategies, and advice to others. I asked before and just shared my story to get the waters warm. It can be an IRL person or an internet friend, anyone is allowed.

I honestly have lost count at this point but I have definitely seen more than 10. Discord is a horrible place that never should have existed. Discord started out innocent but it turned into a circlejerk grooming place where people would encourage impressionable teens that you are cooler if you are trans and you should give into your horny degenerate fantasies. Many people I used to know back in the day are now trannies and every single one of these people turned trans because of their lesbian sex fetish.

I may like some degenerate things as well but I have learned that there is a special place in hell for lesbian porn because it seems to be the gateway to liking futa, traps, sissies, and then just full on gay crap.

 

[Aaa0aaa0]

A dear friend of mine I've been friends with since highschool recently got sucked into a cringey lefty D&D group. Ever since, I can see the start of his trooning out. It's worth notice that he is very autistic and basically adapts his personality to match that of whatever group he is having the most fun with at the time. He's begun to change his profile picture to anime girls, has weird status messages on discord like "I am the useless Lesbian", and other shit.

We got in a fight recently over a joke I made that he took extremely seriously. It wasn't anything extreme either. It was one of those JK Rowling jokes that everyone used to make like two years ago or whatever, and it was in regards to a character from a show we both like that he was claiming was gay because the voice actor said so. He became unhinged and started absolutely trashing me as a racist, homophobic/transphobic asshole—which I kind of am—but until very recently, we had shared most of the same humor. When I called him out on this, he said he never made such jokes and that he was appalled that I had.

I was pretty concerned at this point, and since he's essentially a child stuck in a man's body, I called his caretakers to make sure they knew about the kind of people he was hanging out with on the internet. They're two conservative grandparents, so I expected them to tard wrangle him and beat some sense into him, but ever since he's just gotten worse and has pretty much begun to shun me. He's left all our shared communication channels and blocked me on everything—even my cellphone number. I've just kind of been in shock since, because literally less than two weeks ago he was making fun of troons and laughing along with me.

I'm hoping this is just a phase he's going through since he's hanging out with these D&D nerds, but I'm worried for him and any day now I'm expecting him to start putting pronouns in his social media and going by "ma'am". The last fucking thing I want is to see him become a freak like Chris Chan or something. Half of my high-school life was sticking up for him against bullies and whatnot; trying to teach him how to act normal and make friends. It feels like all of that was a waste now.

Edit: Grammatical errors.

Did he give any indication on why he's trooning out or did he just go "I've always been that way" on that as well? I doubt you can have him change, I'm just curious on what made him flipflop.

As more MTF's grow in population It'll be interesting to see what will happen in the tug of war between the two groups.

From the social media sideshow thread, I predict that transmen will be continuously shat on by transwomen and ignored when they complain, both for identifying as privileged men and having a uterus/boobs that the MtFs don't.

 

[Caesar Augustus]

MtF troons on the other hand have all been tantamount to Boris Karloff's Frankenstein with a wig and lipstick.

Brings this to mind.

 

[Carlito]

Brings this to mind.View attachment 2025788

This is why we need stickers back.

 

[ThatOneLurker]

Did he give any indication on why he's trooning out or did he just go "I've always been that way" on that as well? I doubt you can have him change, I'm just curious on what made him flipflop.

Nope, but I think I know what happened. He started playing D&D with those fucking freaks and they probably didn't take too well to his sense of humor, and they bullied him into believing he's in the closest and has been his entire life. That and he was probably mad at me because I told him to get a fucking job instead of wasting his life away.

He's two years older than me, and he's never been to college. Never tried pursing a trade. Never worked. He's volunteered at a Church maybe ten times his entire life. He sits in his room, plays vidya games or duh "ttrpgs!" and faps to porn. His diet consists of literally just chicken tenders (that his grandma cooks for him), and domino's pizza he buys almost every night with his disability checks.

I don't live where he does anymore so since I was unable to physically whip him into shape, I called him a fatass NEET who will never get laid or do anything with his life. That's about the time he started playing D&D with that group and I'm pretty sure his hurt feelings helped them get inside his head.

It's whatever. I've made peace with it now. I just wish I had listened to what people told me in highschool. That there was nothing worth protecting there. I broke so many bridges and friendships just to protect his dumbass and now it's all for nothing.

 

[Rich Evans Apologist]

While I'm sure the number's higher now, I know of two from when I was in college. There's a third I can think of, but he's mostly just a sex-pest and I don't believe he considered himself truly to be a woman or whatever. I suppose all three cases gave me a bit of insight into broader trends that I would notice. All three of my examples fit the definition of posh-bourgie, even if they would probably prefer not to have that label slapped on them. Yet the income levels of their parents were well above twice the median household income, which I have come to notice as a trend among a lot of troons. In many ways, I wonder if my own resilient skepticism wasn't grounded in the fact that I didn't grow up silver-spooned.

Spoiler: nummer eins

In any case, the guy is the most straightforward one: guy was a scumbag that a lot of people didn't get along with, prone to backstabbing (in the most pathetic ways possible) anyone that gave him a chance. One day he decided he was bi, I guess, and I got to hear through through a few folks I knew that he was a plague and an asshole on the local LGBT scene at that uni which was anyways curdling around the 2013-2014 era like I imagine most were - browbeating, gaslighting, intimidation, you name it. I imagine that's part of why he started wearing a dress and rebranded himself as a laydee.

From him, I picked up on the all-too-common trend of the sex-frustrated loser troonshielding themselves to be a sex pest and harasser to communities, as well as the trend for them to seek out people with weak enough senses of self that they constantly ass-kiss the guy's behavior and beg everyone to "give him a chance" at least a thousand times. That curious trend of someone coming from a mildly conservative household, turning on their parents, and nevertheless extracting exorbitant sums of cash from their parents with glee reared up here as well. I also have a feeling that this man's envy of others led him to find ways to lash out at the people who were stupid enough to keep him around, and I fully believe he played a big part in grooming the second one.

Spoiler: nummer zwei

Second one was a girl who wasn't too sure of her future, her chosen path in college, what she wanted to do, where she wanted to be, so-on. I didn't really know her all that well, but she mostly just seemed like someone beset by a lot of insecurity and doubt who surrounded herself with people that would hand her platitudes over actual feedback and suggestions. I remember her having a somewhat firm sense of... like, there was a self there for certain, but she often subsumed it to the whims and presences of others for some reason or other. I believe there was a genuine probing, questioning, uncertainty of her sense of self and future - vulnerability that I suspect troon #1 exploited, as shortly after his big attention-grabbing expression, she decided to make her own announcement. The wording suggested that she had always felt that something was 'off,' but my suspicion was that this genuine anomie was a void filled by the sex pest mad that she didn't date him when they were younger.

This one taught me that the female side of things seems to be more passive, more soul-searching, more confused and looking for a place and abused and led astray by someone else. That first guy knew exactly what he was doing to get into a place of power from which he could harangue people; this second one, I don't think she really had any idea what she was doing or getting into, but the fear of treading water was enough to give life to peer pressure and grooming.

Spoiler: nummer drei

And the third one was a meek girl with all manner of insecurities and odd behaviors and habits, who probably had no small amount of genuine and deep mental issues. Yet for all that, our odd gaggle of misfits tried to guide her away from dumb and gaudy fashion choices and into a better space where she could appreciate and express herself more fully -- fundamentally, that she could realize the weird contradictions of her being were really not worth obsessing over to extreme amounts. There's a few years of radio silence after she left the flock on graduation, only for her to crop up out of the blue suggesting that she was genderless and that her name was some other, ridiculous thing. I don't know if she much got into it with other people she had known, but I have a bit of a flair for getting into shitting out blocks of text.

At this point in time, I think I was still using social media and I was posting some stupid political screeds about shit I didn't really understand, which gave her the lead-in to gaslight me about how I seemed increasingly unstable. She then broke down because I would not personally disavow the idea of gender as divorced from sex, despite the fact that I fully encouraged her to do whatever she wanted and be whoever she wanted to be, same as we had always done. The prime example I had used to describe why gender and sex could not be fully separated was an example of expendability - societies can repopulate more easily when there's less men, which will always encourage men to go into potentially hazardous positions moreso than women and create gendered norms as a result of that. This position was apparently duly abhorrent and deeply hurt them, as if they needed my concurrence for their entire sense of self to exist. Hence emotional arm-wringing about how I needed to apologize for hurting them and so-on, all a means of dancing around the fact that I wouldn't concede that a genderless society would someday arise and be utopic.

From them, I learned again of that vulnerability... but I'm not so sure it was preyed upon in this case. Rather, I think that a mind which would refuse to sit idle and just relax had worked itself up into a frenzy, obsessing over the endless categorization and analysis of its every little quality, which led them to conclude that they simply could not be called 'female' due to all these things which they believed somehow contradicted whatever specific, rigid idea of the idea they had in their mind. The fact that I could fully encourage them to do whatever they wanted, call themselves whatever, use whatever pronouns, and so-on and yet that still wasn't enough suggested that this obsession was not one of self-pressure to build self-resilience, but rather a likely unconscious effort to twist the arms of other people into an orderly, concurrence arrangement for which the individual would not feel more questions and more self-doubt arise.

This was all well over a half-decade ago, as far as I can remember. I have no idea how these people are doing anymore, given I don't use social media and have no intention of going back. Perhaps everything worked out just wonderfully for them, and they're truly living as their best selves. Yet as emblematic as their circumstances were of wider trends I've noticed, I have to wonder if it isn't the case that their ultimate fates are pretty similar - half-lives, regret, instability, so-on, so-forth. It's definitely an advantage that I wasn't the sort to get too attached to college friends or acquaintances, though, as it made it pretty easy to just quietly slip away once it became more and more clear that there was some strange resonance building.

 

[Ma_Hooty]

I won't try to share too much personal info, but since they're an online friend - well, ex-friend - I guess it's not a big deal? I'll still try to be vague because while I want her to own up to the horrible things she's done to others, I also don't want to point fingers. I like drama, but I don't like causing it, y'know? That's probably what she wants, anyway.

Spoiler

I met my ex-friend through mutuals via a fan community on a now defunct social media site. We were both artists and became good friends who would enjoy shitposting, talking about nerd stuff and drawing art for one another. After two years, she came out as trans and wanted to be called "T". It wasn't too difficult for me to do; unlike a lot of you, I didn't know them irl/half my life.
That site shut down, but we had since moved over to Discord and T started using Twitter more and more (she wanted me to get an account, but I said I valued what sanity I had left lol).

I have no idea where it began, but I do remember her becoming distant and (in hindsight) a bit of a cunt towards me, but thanks to me having a life outside the internet, I didn't have time to get drawn into the moody fits she would have in the server or in DMs. She soon invited some friends I never met into the server and to my surprise, were almost immediately hostile towards me. T never spoke up about their attitude, so I figured I just needed to have them get to know me more.
This environment coupled with an injury that had me out of work for several months led me into depression, so I left the server for my own well-being. T DM'ed me and asked if I was okay and I just told them I needed a break. She made a backhanded comment about my injury but in that state of mind I agreed with her. Like "Yeah, everyone has problems but they don't talk about it like I have been, I should probably shut up and deal with it" kind of mindset. After a week or two, I went back.

To make a long story short, T grew more distant towards me. I figured she needed space, so I started to make friends with other people that knew her. Namely, the aforementioned hostile friends of T - H and L. We become friends and after a year or so L shares to her server (T is long gone by then) about her and H leaving an abusive relationship and we're all happy for them. A few weeks later, as we're shooting the shit in DMs, L says something pretty fucked up:

"You know, I'm so glad you still wanted to be friends with us despite us being so nasty to you. I don't know what the hell T was talking about, you're such a nice person!"
Bitch, what you mean.

L explains that T, someone I called a friend, had been talking about me behind my back for months while also being the person who abused both her and H- H even more so and that's all I'll say. T is also friends with shota and lolicons but I only have her word on that (since I wasn't degenerate enough to be a part of the cool kids club, apparently).

Even after hearing this, I still went back to T's server, but now I kept my distance for other reasons. I think T knew because that's when the victim blaming and gaslighting started on me, saying that people who think ill of her were transphobic and were just trying to start drama and how can you even think of me being a shotacon, you know me right? Aren't you my friend!? You're not friends with them, right!??! You know how much they hurt me and our friends!!?

Last year made me take a hard look aspects of myself I was neglecting and last fall, I DM'ed L and told her to send posts of T shittalking me. I was pretty much done with her. I wanted to rip the bandaid off, but there was this small part of me that thought L was just blowing it out of proportion and we could still be frien- lolnah, what a doormat I was. Even more stupid was that it was over minuscule things I did or said that, if she simply talked to me privately and told me to lol calm down, I would have understood because I told her exactly that when she started acting weird towards me. But she decided to act like a cliquey high schooler, so I left her server, unfollowed her accounts and deleted every piece of art she made for me, as well as wiping everything I ever posted that associated with her.

A few weeks after I did this, I got curious and looked up her Twitter handle. She had sperged out around the same time I left and a few days after that, shares fan art that includes art I did (used my Discord name for some reason, which I don't use for my art and she knows I don't), talking about how she loves and appreciates all the support she gets and how she loves her friends and followers and all this other cringey shit before spiraling into sad posting about how depressed she is. I think she was trying to draw me back in with what I assume was her attempt at love-bombing?
Curiosity got the better of me a week or so ago, so I looked her up and she recently came out as BPD (shocker) and has changed her name yet again because the old one was "tied to bad memories." Yeah. Sure, Jan, you tell yourself that.

You know, I'm not sure if she's trans at all. In fact, now that I read what I wrote and think on it, I don't think she ever talked about transitioning, at least when I was around because she knew I was the sort of asshole who didn't think this woke shit is stunning and brave. Maybe she's just a narcissist who's using the TRA movement to leech off others (she has another GF) or maybe it's mental illness mixed with cult mentality that turned her into a toxic headcase. Whatever happened, she's turned into somewhat of a personal lolcow, I guess.

I still get upset whenever she's brought up but compared to my friends, I got off light. If anything, I'm more upset for them. They can't speak up against her abuse because she's more popular than they are and is definitely the sort to pull the trans card and send her followers after them. So we're just trying to move on and don't dwell on that part of the past too much...at least until after we shit talk her lol.

 

[El_Cacahuate]

sorry if this sound little off topic

I mentioned in another thread that online friends stopped talking to me because I'm very "transphobic/homophobic" but i still have this other (trans) friend online that I really appreciate and i dont want to lose because he acts like someone normal, he very rarely talks about his identity and it seems that he does not care or simply ignores when I make a critical post about LGBT, we have been talking for a few years and I want to think that everything is going well, but i am worried that one day he will simply join the radical trans train. do you think talk to him about his identity and how he feels about it its is a good idea? or is there any way to prevent him from joining the trans cult?

 

[Slap47]

sorry if this sound little off topic

I mentioned in another thread that online friends stopped talking to me because I'm very "transphobic/homophobic" but i still have this other (trans) friend online that I really appreciate and i dont want to lose because he acts like someone normal, he very rarely talks about his identity and it seems that he does not care or simply ignores when I make a critical post about LGBT, we have been talking for a few years and I want to think that everything is going well, but i am worried that one day he will simply join the radical trans train. do you think talk to him about his identity and how he feels about it its is a good idea? or is there any way to prevent him from joining the trans cult?

I kinda agree with Null on there being different kinds of Transpeople.

1. Schizo types who genuinely hate women and view being one as the ultimate form of humiliation. They want to violate women's spaces and harm women. This is about revenge against Stacy, and having institutional power.

2. Sexual deviants who want fire fighters to see their grotesque form. Often pedophiles and plenty of overlap with 1.

3. Trad waifu UwU types. They failed to be the male ideal and so want to be taken care of and put on a pedestal like a Twitch girl. Unlike the first two categories, they have a very romantic view of what being a woman is like, but also a respect for traditional masculinity.

4. Normal guys with overly-traditional backgrounds that made them feel like an utter failure. They failed to fit into the masculine ideal and got hate on for it, even from so-called progressives who claimed to not value such things. They did not necessarily "fail as men", but they didn't conform to the roles and so changed based on the understanding that they would feel more comfortable with themselves.

The first two categories are lost causes, the third category will likely forever be painfully overly-edgy, and the fourth category is vulnerable to indoctrination.

If they fall into the third category just keep up bantering with them. If they fall into the fourth category, be extra sure to distinguish the subculture from the identity itself. Its like furries, the fetish in of itself isn't necessarily damning, but the subcultures are often dangerous.