internet sticker enthusiast
Your former friend is fake and gay. You, L, & H are stunning and brave. I'm glad you guys fucked off.I still get upset whenever she's brought up but compared to my friends, I got off light. If anything, I'm more upset for them. They can't speak up against her abuse because she's more popular than they are and is definitely the sort to pull the trans card and send her followers after them.
She seems slightly dangerous. I'm surprised she let you off so relatively easy. I think her popularity is a double edged sword: she is powerful and can wield it like a club, but she's terrified of looking bad and losing power like BPD & other cluster B relatives. She might have a tinge of guilt but really won't care at all as soon as you came back and would blame you and your friends instead, predictably. I think she's worried you guys will call her out eventually, which is great since even if you don't it means she'll avoid you.
You're right on trooning out: she seems to have an unstable identity. I wouldn't be surprised if before she became popular she had even more social media names she wigged out on once they went bad. Trooning is the new baptism, except you can change your name as many times as you want and blame transphobia and not understanding yourself for shitty behavior.
I hope you 3 continue to support each other. Even if she bugs you guys in the future I'm sure you and your pals can get through it.
I feel like this is on topic. This is trans prevention into trooning (everyone has their own definition, I'm using it to mean transitioned for shit reasons and is destructive to themselves and/or others).sorry if this sound little off topic
I mentioned in another thread that online friends stopped talking to me because I'm very "transphobic/homophobic" but i still have this other (trans) friend online that I really appreciate and i dont want to lose because he acts like someone normal, he very rarely talks about his identity and it seems that he does not care or simply ignores when I make a critical post about LGBT, we have been talking for a few years and I want to think that everything is going well, but i am worried that one day he will simply join the radical trans train. do you think talk to him about his identity and how he feels about it its is a good idea? or is there any way to prevent him from joining the trans cult?
As long as you come in on friendly terms and ask him about trans stuff with an open mind, people like that usually don't mind sharing and disscussion. If he says he doesn't want to, don't worry about it further. Come from a place of curiosity and understanding, and ask him as the friend you are. You are friends, he probably won't mind explaining why he transitioned or how he feels about the trans community. If he does, respect it and move on.
If something happens: You can try to prevent people from doing things, but unless you're physically restraining someone, they might do it anyway. The more you push on them not to do something when they want to, the more they'll push back even if they know you're right. They just won't want you to be. This applies to more than just troon cult though, this applies to anything. Say your piece and make your position clear but don't go further than that unless they cross a hard line for you (like hurting someone emotionally or physically, or them being physically painful to watch) and go from there.
He doesn't seem like he'll need that. Just from your sentence of "he doesn't bring up he's trans much", it seems like its the same as any other identity for him: he's trans, but it's not his entire life. He is himself and his interests first and foremost. I feel you only habe to worry about him if he starts talking about how great being trans/his gender/gay or straightness is multiple times in a week. That's when someone is compensating for something.
In spite of my opening post, transitioning wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back for me with my friend. It was them heading towards more extreme thoughts and crowds and self destructive coping mechanisms. They've always been anxious and influenced by peer pressure (even though their friends would probably still like them even if they didn't transition). Medically transitioning when they said they didn't want the side effects of it earlier was a signal that they changed too much for me, a signal that they didn't know what they wanted. Antifa was a signal of being too hard with following their feelings and beliefs. I still have they/them friends I love and respect and don't mind being friendly to anyone who's trans second and themselves first. It's a personality shift and a priorities to an identity shift you have to worry about, and I think you understand that. There will be people on here that say "every trans person leads to disappointment, stop calling them their perfered pronouns and tell them to cut it out or just fuck off because they're a lost cause", but I don't think that's true (I respect them though as they probably have been burned by troons before). I don't agree with that and several people on the farms still maintain friendships with transfriends. Don't let your worries or the words of others on trans people get the better of you is what I'm trying to say. As long as your friendship works, don't worry about it.
Lastly your friend doesn't seem like a cluster b mess. Some like BPD can be fine if they are actually trying to manage it (it is hard but can be done), but if they aren't then you know, that's your cue to fuck off.