I have no idea, but it happened
Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism
- Thread starter Aaa0aaa0
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Sister services, email, and search will continue to be negatively effected by the attacks. I made a thread to talk about it, if you're into networking.
You might not be wrong, but put this post back where it came from even if you aren't:,(
I have two. One is a girl that I briefly dated, who trooned out a few months after we stopped going out. The other is a guy I still see on a regular basis.
I met the girl through online dating. She was cool enough, but despite being about 24 at the time, she was immature as hell. Finishing up an arts degree, and did not work, obviously. We eventually had a falling out for unrelated reasons, but we never removed each other from Discord. Maybe half a year goes by, and I see her pop up in our city's discord server, with the new tags "[he/him]." I just checked in, and it seems that she's been on HRT for a while now, and is constantly whining on one of the channels of the server. She had some SJW-ish tendencies when we dated, but its in full overdrive, now. From what I see, she moved back in with her parents (who she apparently hates), and refuses to work, except for art commissions.
The second is a guy I met in a tabletop group. More of an AGP, but still relevant. He usually only comes for D&D nights, but sometimes, he'll join Poker night if certain people (i.e., less bullshit-tolerating members) won't be there. When I met him, he was a PoliSci major, and actully seemed pretty cool, if a little weird. He could have some good conversations out of game, but his in-game choices were...odd. His character is a tall redhead elf lady who wears what I can only describe as a leather bodysuit. One time, he actually sought out a brothel and had his character get laid by some big half-elf. It was super awkward at the table, even though the GM did his best to "fade-to-black", before this guy could say any more. It was never super overt, but he did always have a slightly creepy undertone, while playing.
Some while ago, he tells us that he's now trans, and starts shaving his legs (he proudly told us this within a minute of coming out). His personality remains much the same, until he started HRT. Since we are more or less his only RL friends, he'd always tell us of these things, whether we wanted to know or not. After starting titty skittles, he weirdly became more on-the-edge, and easier to anger. Its weird, since you'd think estrogen (and presumably anti-androgens) would have the opposite effect, but nope. In-game, he'll have heated arguments with NPCs, and even almost got my character killed on multiple occasions, because he has a loose trigger on AoE spells.
Though we used to have some interesting gaming discussions, I eventually stopped DMing him, since he'd invariably turn the topics to things like universal basic income and getting back at his "transphobic grandpa by buying leggings with visa gift cards he sent." During the capitol riots, I woke up to 45 messages from him, bitching about white supremacy and how Trump would try to hire assassins to get Biden. That was when I told him enough was enough, and to cut that shit out.
Trannies, man...Its sad.
I yearn for the day when they can get actual psychological help for their problems, and not just an immediate perscription for HRT.
I met the girl through online dating. She was cool enough, but despite being about 24 at the time, she was immature as hell. Finishing up an arts degree, and did not work, obviously. We eventually had a falling out for unrelated reasons, but we never removed each other from Discord. Maybe half a year goes by, and I see her pop up in our city's discord server, with the new tags "[he/him]." I just checked in, and it seems that she's been on HRT for a while now, and is constantly whining on one of the channels of the server. She had some SJW-ish tendencies when we dated, but its in full overdrive, now. From what I see, she moved back in with her parents (who she apparently hates), and refuses to work, except for art commissions.
The second is a guy I met in a tabletop group. More of an AGP, but still relevant. He usually only comes for D&D nights, but sometimes, he'll join Poker night if certain people (i.e., less bullshit-tolerating members) won't be there. When I met him, he was a PoliSci major, and actully seemed pretty cool, if a little weird. He could have some good conversations out of game, but his in-game choices were...odd. His character is a tall redhead elf lady who wears what I can only describe as a leather bodysuit. One time, he actually sought out a brothel and had his character get laid by some big half-elf. It was super awkward at the table, even though the GM did his best to "fade-to-black", before this guy could say any more. It was never super overt, but he did always have a slightly creepy undertone, while playing.
Some while ago, he tells us that he's now trans, and starts shaving his legs (he proudly told us this within a minute of coming out). His personality remains much the same, until he started HRT. Since we are more or less his only RL friends, he'd always tell us of these things, whether we wanted to know or not. After starting titty skittles, he weirdly became more on-the-edge, and easier to anger. Its weird, since you'd think estrogen (and presumably anti-androgens) would have the opposite effect, but nope. In-game, he'll have heated arguments with NPCs, and even almost got my character killed on multiple occasions, because he has a loose trigger on AoE spells.
Though we used to have some interesting gaming discussions, I eventually stopped DMing him, since he'd invariably turn the topics to things like universal basic income and getting back at his "transphobic grandpa by buying leggings with visa gift cards he sent." During the capitol riots, I woke up to 45 messages from him, bitching about white supremacy and how Trump would try to hire assassins to get Biden. That was when I told him enough was enough, and to cut that shit out.
Trannies, man...Its sad.
I yearn for the day when they can get actual psychological help for their problems, and not just an immediate perscription for HRT.
She really is quite self defeating. This one sentence says so much about her in so little space.
:autism:
For some reason, estrogen does fuck around with mood in some men. Wish I could know where to look for a why, but it does happen.
You're pumping an otherwise non-existent hormone, into a body that runs more or less on the delicate balance of every hormones working together. Being mentally unbalanced sounds like the least worst thing to happen. The physical effects of such treatment long term remains to be seen.
If you truly love someone, you have to let them go. Sounds like he lives just to suffer.
- Highlight
- #288
A minor update to my story:
I haven't spoken with my best friend ever since I first posted my story, however long ago that was. I miss him, but everytime I get tempted to reply to the many messages he sends, I remember that it isn't the loveable bastard that I grew up with, it's just a depressed man in a skirt bringing our entire mood down.
Today I visited his dad again just to check on him and he did something that made me cry when I got to my car. We sat and talked for a long time about everything we could, trying to gloss over the subject of his son/my best friend. I told him that I haven't spoken to his son in a while, and he said he's done the same. Then the old man got teary eyed as he asked if I miss how my best friend used to be. I had to wait for the lump in my throat go down as I said yes. He asked if I planned on stopping being his friend, or having any contact with him. I struggled to meet his gaze, but he deserved me to look in his eye as I said yes.
He just nodded and said no shame in giving up in a lost cause. He went silent before patting my knee and saying I'll always be family to him. I gave him a hug and told him that he was a second father figure in life to me. He asked if he could call me son and I told him it's never stopped him before and hugged him. An hour or two of chatting later I'm ready to head home, and he stops me. Disappearing into a room, he comes out with a guitar case. Said he meant to give it to his son, but since he trooned out and guitar playing gave him "gender dysphoria", he didn't want anything to do with music. So he gave it to me. I manaaged to say goodbye and hug him before breaking down in my car.
I think this is it. I plan on taking a week or two to gather my nerves and finally cut him off. But I am sure as hell not gonna cut off that family. They're my family too, and I'll be damned if they lose another son.
I haven't spoken with my best friend ever since I first posted my story, however long ago that was. I miss him, but everytime I get tempted to reply to the many messages he sends, I remember that it isn't the loveable bastard that I grew up with, it's just a depressed man in a skirt bringing our entire mood down.
Today I visited his dad again just to check on him and he did something that made me cry when I got to my car. We sat and talked for a long time about everything we could, trying to gloss over the subject of his son/my best friend. I told him that I haven't spoken to his son in a while, and he said he's done the same. Then the old man got teary eyed as he asked if I miss how my best friend used to be. I had to wait for the lump in my throat go down as I said yes. He asked if I planned on stopping being his friend, or having any contact with him. I struggled to meet his gaze, but he deserved me to look in his eye as I said yes.
He just nodded and said no shame in giving up in a lost cause. He went silent before patting my knee and saying I'll always be family to him. I gave him a hug and told him that he was a second father figure in life to me. He asked if he could call me son and I told him it's never stopped him before and hugged him. An hour or two of chatting later I'm ready to head home, and he stops me. Disappearing into a room, he comes out with a guitar case. Said he meant to give it to his son, but since he trooned out and guitar playing gave him "gender dysphoria", he didn't want anything to do with music. So he gave it to me. I manaaged to say goodbye and hug him before breaking down in my car.
I think this is it. I plan on taking a week or two to gather my nerves and finally cut him off. But I am sure as hell not gonna cut off that family. They're my family too, and I'll be damned if they lose another son.
There's a friend-of-a-friend that I've known indirectly for a few years now. They come from a particularly broken household, and apparently they've identified as trans years ago, before the recent influx of Current Year social acceptance. I always considered them emotionally vulnerable, quick to take offense, but logically sound of mind. That went out the window starting last year.
Out of the blue one day they just changed their name on all platforms to one of those ridiculous sounding, overly-feminine names you'd find in a Dungeons & Dragons campaign. They incorporate the trans pride color scheme everywhere they can. They post meme image "jokes" about trans people once or twice a day, scraped straight from reddit. Popping "titty skittles" at regular intervals every night. Everyone's walking on eggshells around them when they're in a voicecall together, because this person is quick to take offense and let you know about it.
Now I'm sure this isn't indicative of every trans person, but what really makes me uncomfortable is the alarming speed at which the entire process occurred. And it really does feel like losing someone to a cult; the hallmarks are all there: emotionally vulnerable, support network telling them who to talk to and who to cut out of their lives, the dependency on drugs. And the constant re-affirmation to anyone who will listen that they are "out and proud about their identity" when it reeks of desperation and bluffing to hide their own insecurities. Trying to get affirmation from complete strangers and "the crowd" is always so short-lived and insincere.
Out of the blue one day they just changed their name on all platforms to one of those ridiculous sounding, overly-feminine names you'd find in a Dungeons & Dragons campaign. They incorporate the trans pride color scheme everywhere they can. They post meme image "jokes" about trans people once or twice a day, scraped straight from reddit. Popping "titty skittles" at regular intervals every night. Everyone's walking on eggshells around them when they're in a voicecall together, because this person is quick to take offense and let you know about it.
Now I'm sure this isn't indicative of every trans person, but what really makes me uncomfortable is the alarming speed at which the entire process occurred. And it really does feel like losing someone to a cult; the hallmarks are all there: emotionally vulnerable, support network telling them who to talk to and who to cut out of their lives, the dependency on drugs. And the constant re-affirmation to anyone who will listen that they are "out and proud about their identity" when it reeks of desperation and bluffing to hide their own insecurities. Trying to get affirmation from complete strangers and "the crowd" is always so short-lived and insincere.
Pussy. Find the gals who still exist and support those bitches and dick them if they're receptive. You have to try harder, not be discouraged.
I hardly cry at shit but you got me misty eyed too, as well as pretty much all farmers who've read your post. Thanks for being a chad to your second dad. I'm sorry he has to bury his son early to someone else taking over his personality: no one should have to bury their child and watch as someone else walks around in their body. Glad you are there to support the rest of the family as well (and them to you!).
It is. I always wondered if I would see a cult happen in person, and I guess I am.
The tricky part is that its hard to quit since even things like emo music or lmaoweed culture don't ask you to invest into medication, mutilation, or complete agreeance (there are passionate stoners but they're too stoned to be angry maaan). There's such a big sunk coat fallacy to it its wild.
Jesus, dude. You got me all weepy and it's not even lunchtime yet.
The father-son dynamic, when healthy, is one of the most important relationships out there. It's a crime to take that away when so many young men don't have loving fathers in their lives.
Anyway, I'm so sorry buddy. I'm glad you're sticking with the family though. That's a really beautiful thing.
Nobody IRL but a good online friend, sadly. Not cowy enough for the Personal Lolcows thread so I'll post here.
She's from Finland, we used to chat a lot, tell nigger jokes, the usual online friend stuff.
Then the SJW and troon cult got her.
She insists she's a man despite looking more like a goth animu girl. Says the n-word is extremely triggering to her, despite being white and likely not even knowing any nogs IRL. Says the Finnish version of it is the same, I asked what it was and she claimed she nearly had a panic attack typing "neekeri".
Then goes on this sob story about witnessing an immigrant friend from Asia experience racism when she was younger, which she never mentioned previously.
It's just sad. Sucks for her too, she claims Finland only has 2 troon clinics in the entire country (another reason why socialized healthcare is unironically better, it can actually curb troonism).
Damn I miss the old her though.
She's from Finland, we used to chat a lot, tell nigger jokes, the usual online friend stuff.
Then the SJW and troon cult got her.
She insists she's a man despite looking more like a goth animu girl. Says the n-word is extremely triggering to her, despite being white and likely not even knowing any nogs IRL. Says the Finnish version of it is the same, I asked what it was and she claimed she nearly had a panic attack typing "neekeri".
Then goes on this sob story about witnessing an immigrant friend from Asia experience racism when she was younger, which she never mentioned previously.
It's just sad. Sucks for her too, she claims Finland only has 2 troon clinics in the entire country (another reason why socialized healthcare is unironically better, it can actually curb troonism).
Damn I miss the old her though.
Not sure if anyone remember my story from main tranny thread about a 'honest AGP' friend who used to role play as women online a lot and eventually admit to me of wanting to troon out because becoming a woman is his fantasy (in his word). Now he's officially a non-binary and on HRT for a while.
Something I noticed is that since the death of his dad, he became very judgemental, easily annoyed, and always serious. He is generally "level headed", as in able to keep himself stay matter-of-fact and from being vulnerable... but there's a feeling that the guy doesn't really have much ability to care about people deeply and see people who are not in constant competition or showing emotional vulnerability weak. Basically he became workaholic sociopath some years before trooning out and it's getting harder for me to talk to him. At one time he almost broke up with his girlfriend because he said she's too depressive and not keeping up enough. There might be somewhat of that trait in him to begin with, but it seems to get more unbearable each years, him trooning out seem like the last straw.
I feel quite guilty to drop him because at one point I was the 'weak' one who went to him for help when I was at low point of my life... he could be insightful and helpful with a lot of work-related things. And I don't want to hurt his feeling because he seem to trust me a lot too, seeing me being one of the first people he can confess personal things. But it seems like we've grown apart a lot with incidents such as the time when he 'came out' to me and wanted inputs, I told him that he should think through it a lot because I don't think anyone should be quick at 'identifying' as a certain gender and it's fine to be GNC and leave it at that... then he's annoyed because he didn't want to be lectured, just validation.
Do you think these are also related to underlying issues that made him troon out in anyway, though?
Something I noticed is that since the death of his dad, he became very judgemental, easily annoyed, and always serious. He is generally "level headed", as in able to keep himself stay matter-of-fact and from being vulnerable... but there's a feeling that the guy doesn't really have much ability to care about people deeply and see people who are not in constant competition or showing emotional vulnerability weak. Basically he became workaholic sociopath some years before trooning out and it's getting harder for me to talk to him. At one time he almost broke up with his girlfriend because he said she's too depressive and not keeping up enough. There might be somewhat of that trait in him to begin with, but it seems to get more unbearable each years, him trooning out seem like the last straw.
I feel quite guilty to drop him because at one point I was the 'weak' one who went to him for help when I was at low point of my life... he could be insightful and helpful with a lot of work-related things. And I don't want to hurt his feeling because he seem to trust me a lot too, seeing me being one of the first people he can confess personal things. But it seems like we've grown apart a lot with incidents such as the time when he 'came out' to me and wanted inputs, I told him that he should think through it a lot because I don't think anyone should be quick at 'identifying' as a certain gender and it's fine to be GNC and leave it at that... then he's annoyed because he didn't want to be lectured, just validation.
Do you think these are also related to underlying issues that made him troon out in anyway, though?
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Aussie buddy of mine I've known through facebook came out trans i guess awhile back? Haven't been on for years but the last time i saw them was them being a commie that could handle offensive humor and banter, now they just post unfunny screencaps and say "ugh straight people shit 
" and just constant bitching about straights. We get it you weirdo, you think argumenting and being obnoxious is just a straight thing. Lets just ignore lesbian domestic violence, catty fags getting into slap fights and the LGBT as a whole being obnoxious fucks trying to give themselves a holiday for every day through the year.
" and just constant bitching about straights. We get it you weirdo, you think argumenting and being obnoxious is just a straight thing. Lets just ignore lesbian domestic violence, catty fags getting into slap fights and the LGBT as a whole being obnoxious fucks trying to give themselves a holiday for every day through the year.
Weak-minded people are usually this way.
Strong-minded people actually want to listen.
Yes, but the death of his dad was the last straw.
Sounds like an alcoholic narcissist I know. Not saying he is a narcissist, but he has traits of it. He seems completely self-involved, perhaps his dad was the one thing keeping him grounded.
I would say avoid this one at all costs, he sounds exhausting.
I can't completely armchair diagnose this but my guess is that since becoming a workaholic he's felt less happy and had an identiy crisis yet refused to see what the fuck was causing him to be upset, and since he couldn't drop work because of whatever reason he started bringing his fantasy world to reality. The identity crisis might have been kicked off by his dad. Maybe he became prickly and focused inwards after that hurt him. Guess is in bold because without knowing him I couldn't tell you for certain, this is writing a backstory for someone I don't know. He seems to be trying to diagnose and treat himself without a therapist imo, becoming trans to avoid dealing with other issues and being more of a dick because of his workplace habits and culture and possible new troon friends.
Its a tough situation you could either confront him on (hell, you can just say "you're being a judgemental dick and I'm sick of it", focusing on his flaws instead of his laydee-ness) or break it off by ghosting or telling him to fuck off. If you find being around him more taxing on you than energizing or relaxing, I vote break it off with him. It ain't easy but its better for the both of you in the long run (you so you can be more at peace, him so he won't have to have you snap back at him one day for being a dick because it'll hurt his ego and learn nothing from it).
Sometimes, people just... change badly. Without him choosing to work on himself, its an impossible hill to climb. You owe him whatever you think you owe him, but remember he's taking up more and more of your "emotional debt" the more he keeps on himself and his issues alone without listening or choosing to change. He was there and you're here now, but if he's doing nothing but using you as a crutch without giving back, it isn't worth it.
Good things never last long
I made a post about this in a different thread awhile back, so glad this one exists now. It's a long story so I'll just sum it up.
My brother was a good man. He had issues but he was my best friend. Then he dropped the bomb on me that he was planning to begin transitioning. Apparently he had been questioning for a year and didn't tell me until he made up his mind. At first I was cautiously supportive, but I now very strongly believe he was groomed into it by Reddit troons.
Furthermore, he descended into more and more destructive behaviors. Beyond starting hormones with no therapy (my dad says he saw a therapist once, got on estrogen, and never went back), he has been horrible with his money (this is a new thing for him), is posting edgyboi shit on Reddit, and was just completely reckless. He chose to come out by sending an email, then leaving the house in the dead of night to go off to New York to be with someone he met on the internet.
He says shit on Reddit that is just him trying to be edgy, such as talking about various ways to kill himself, how he's smoking again so he can use the cigarettes to burn himself with, and posting pics of himself in stockings.
He has decided to stop showing up to jobs and let himself be fired when he gets tired of a job. He gets to live with my parents rent-free and my mom in particular has been very defensive of his reckless choices. At one point he stormed out to stay with our grandmother because he didn't like my dad's Twitter page, only to come crawling back and manipulating his way back in when he found out our extremely conservative Fundamentalist Christian grandmother is no easier to live with as an atheist troon than our extremely conservative Fundamentalist Christian parents.
I think he's beginning to lose his mind, this isn't like him at all. I don't know what's wrong with him but he clearly needs help. Whenever I tried to suggest therapy he would throw a temper tantrum and tell me to fuck off. I finally had to pull away for my own sanity.
This has effectively ruined my mental health. 2020 might have actually been bearable if not for this. I spent so much time worried sick about him and having to navigate the minefield of SJW shit with it. After all, it's hard to seek out support when everyone thinks you're wrong if you aren't accepting. Even my therapist gave me pushback over all of this. Fortunately my boyfriend and many of my close friends were extremely supportive and that got me through it.
Right now, I don't know what's going on. Distancing myself was my only option and I'm not really interested in reliving all of that again by trying to talk to him about it. I tried everything I could and now it's up to him. I don't think he's trans so much as he's autistic and fell in with a bad crowd, but he doesn't want to hear that.
My brother was a good man. He had issues but he was my best friend. Then he dropped the bomb on me that he was planning to begin transitioning. Apparently he had been questioning for a year and didn't tell me until he made up his mind. At first I was cautiously supportive, but I now very strongly believe he was groomed into it by Reddit troons.
Furthermore, he descended into more and more destructive behaviors. Beyond starting hormones with no therapy (my dad says he saw a therapist once, got on estrogen, and never went back), he has been horrible with his money (this is a new thing for him), is posting edgyboi shit on Reddit, and was just completely reckless. He chose to come out by sending an email, then leaving the house in the dead of night to go off to New York to be with someone he met on the internet.
He says shit on Reddit that is just him trying to be edgy, such as talking about various ways to kill himself, how he's smoking again so he can use the cigarettes to burn himself with, and posting pics of himself in stockings.
He has decided to stop showing up to jobs and let himself be fired when he gets tired of a job. He gets to live with my parents rent-free and my mom in particular has been very defensive of his reckless choices. At one point he stormed out to stay with our grandmother because he didn't like my dad's Twitter page, only to come crawling back and manipulating his way back in when he found out our extremely conservative Fundamentalist Christian grandmother is no easier to live with as an atheist troon than our extremely conservative Fundamentalist Christian parents.
I think he's beginning to lose his mind, this isn't like him at all. I don't know what's wrong with him but he clearly needs help. Whenever I tried to suggest therapy he would throw a temper tantrum and tell me to fuck off. I finally had to pull away for my own sanity.
This has effectively ruined my mental health. 2020 might have actually been bearable if not for this. I spent so much time worried sick about him and having to navigate the minefield of SJW shit with it. After all, it's hard to seek out support when everyone thinks you're wrong if you aren't accepting. Even my therapist gave me pushback over all of this. Fortunately my boyfriend and many of my close friends were extremely supportive and that got me through it.
Right now, I don't know what's going on. Distancing myself was my only option and I'm not really interested in reliving all of that again by trying to talk to him about it. I tried everything I could and now it's up to him. I don't think he's trans so much as he's autistic and fell in with a bad crowd, but he doesn't want to hear that.
I have two former classmates that have trooned.
The first one trooned back in high school. He is a stereotypical Reddit/Discord tranny through and through — likes anime, likes programming but sucks at it, and likes tranny porn. Only he trooned way before this was a stereotype. A tranny pioneer. He's a good person deep down, just pornsick and mildly autistic. He'd always ask me invasive questions like how I masturbate, or if I'd like pre-op transgirls since I'm bisexual. I feel sorry for him still. He was sexually abused as a child and has always been bullied and outcast. No doubt this contributed to him transitioning. I can't be friends with him anymore though because he keeps sending me tranny Twitter memes, and that's a deal breaker for me.
The second one only just trooned. He had all the risk factors: programmer, anime fan, mildly autistic, absolutely horrible with women. This stupid motherfucker. He told us all he had some issues to work out, went to a gender therapist, came back to tell us his new name and that he was going to start hormones legit the Monday after the first appointment. Only me and another person in this friend group can see through the greed of tranny therapists, but neither of us feel like we can say anything. We'll be shouted down by the rest of the group.
I'm not really crying about the loss of these two idiots. They've both been shit friends. But I also don't think either of them deserve to live a miserably tranny existence.
The first one trooned back in high school. He is a stereotypical Reddit/Discord tranny through and through — likes anime, likes programming but sucks at it, and likes tranny porn. Only he trooned way before this was a stereotype. A tranny pioneer. He's a good person deep down, just pornsick and mildly autistic. He'd always ask me invasive questions like how I masturbate, or if I'd like pre-op transgirls since I'm bisexual. I feel sorry for him still. He was sexually abused as a child and has always been bullied and outcast. No doubt this contributed to him transitioning. I can't be friends with him anymore though because he keeps sending me tranny Twitter memes, and that's a deal breaker for me.
The second one only just trooned. He had all the risk factors: programmer, anime fan, mildly autistic, absolutely horrible with women. This stupid motherfucker. He told us all he had some issues to work out, went to a gender therapist, came back to tell us his new name and that he was going to start hormones legit the Monday after the first appointment. Only me and another person in this friend group can see through the greed of tranny therapists, but neither of us feel like we can say anything. We'll be shouted down by the rest of the group.
I'm not really crying about the loss of these two idiots. They've both been shit friends. But I also don't think either of them deserve to live a miserably tranny existence.
Ad Lib Moaning
kiwifarms.net
Nobody irl but an online friend.
One friend I had for seven years, and I nearly joined her. We met each other back at Tumblr, when I happened to post uncredited art of hers that I have saved and didn't know the artist, and she (She became a FTM but lets say 'she' for clarity throughout the whole thing) came to me, wanted to be credited. I was sort of naive back then, and added credits to the post. We met multiple times afterward, because our hobbies managed to match, and a friendship was born.
She was very shy and socially awkward and vulnerable at first, and then I thought I could ease her up by swallowing up my own shyness and telling her that she was an art inspiration to me. It eased her up.
We drew and made our own things and shared with each other and had a laugh.
Over the years, we managed to talk about our hobbies and whatnot, then later on, she stopped talking about hobbies and getting in more personal stuff. Mind you, I didn't know this was building up to her becoming trans nor did she mention any HRT and such so I kept going "Wow, your dad/mom sucks" when she kept saying one of them was 'mean' to her.
I had to disown a friend that joined us over time because she kept saying that he was 'mean' and so on. I honestly wish I could check back on that friend, but he probably cut ties with me. I wonder if he knew that I was misguided, but he didn't make any attempts to stop me or anything.
One time, she asked what is my sexuality and it took me off guard. I wasn't focused on dating at the time so I just shrugged at that. "Okay, you're asexual." I didn't know what it meant, but I went 'sure, lets go with that' to appease her. She kept saying that and I believed that I was 'asexual', not just not looking for anybody at the time.
She talked about binders out of the blue one day. All I said was: "Don't wear them too long, it will do irreparable damage". She got mad and we never had that subject ever again.
I couldn't have a friendly banter with her and do old jokes anymore past this point, and she would complain and snap that it was 'mean'.
Months later, out came the trans announcement.
She told me all about HRT, surgery, and whatever. I asked if she ever thought about her decision because it was so sudden and seeing the things they do are also irreparable, even pointing that breasts will never grow back. She ignored me and gave me all sorts of instructions and so on. And I still remained with her because I still wanted to appease her. The worst thing I ever done in her eyes was not treating her being trans as special.
She talked more about her very personal issues while all I wanted is to talk about video games. She made me change my stories and art to contain mostly gay or trans people or with no conflict at all, when all I wanted to is do my hobbies. She got mad when I didn't use her pronouns (he/him lesbian) when I only used her name. She didn't want me to have any opposing opinions from her, because "everything she says is right". Didn't want me to critize her art if I find a glaring anatomical error because her art also heavily degraded, and would snap at me with the classic "its my style" if I try.
And then I snapped at her months later, saying the friendship lately was heavily one-sided. She got mad, saying the whole thing was all my fault, then she said "we need a break". A few days were spent in silence and with other friends, but somewhere during the timeframe, she secretly unfriended me.
I don't know if it was stockholm syndrome, gaslighting, or what, but I came back to her after sitting on it for days, apologizing to her. She keep shifting the blame to me, and I kept apologizing (one of her points was that shes a self-diagnostic autistic). She said we can have our friendship back, and friended me. I was happy. I treated our 'new' friendship back in the old golden days before her trans shift with no response back from her, and days later, she suddenly unfriended and blocked me.
That pretty much opened my eyes to all the shit happened and be more aware, and that experience left me fucked up. Last time I saw her, she retreated back to Tumblr making OCs with the -sexual flags painted on them. I got no idea what happened to make her like that, but it feels morally degrading that I'm still nervous on other friends where I walk on non-existent eggshells on them because of her years later. It's like I won the battle, but lost the war.
EDIT: She also sent me pictures of herself randomly and I didn't even ask for them. I remember one of them was her putting her art up in a small art museum and her hair and lipstick was the brightest blue I ever seen. She was also fat, and she also complained that her doctor was 'mean' for giving her methods to lose weight since her other body problems was caused by it. Never tried to fix her weight, and she got surprised that her problems got worse over time.
One friend I had for seven years, and I nearly joined her. We met each other back at Tumblr, when I happened to post uncredited art of hers that I have saved and didn't know the artist, and she (She became a FTM but lets say 'she' for clarity throughout the whole thing) came to me, wanted to be credited. I was sort of naive back then, and added credits to the post. We met multiple times afterward, because our hobbies managed to match, and a friendship was born.
She was very shy and socially awkward and vulnerable at first, and then I thought I could ease her up by swallowing up my own shyness and telling her that she was an art inspiration to me. It eased her up.
We drew and made our own things and shared with each other and had a laugh.
Over the years, we managed to talk about our hobbies and whatnot, then later on, she stopped talking about hobbies and getting in more personal stuff. Mind you, I didn't know this was building up to her becoming trans nor did she mention any HRT and such so I kept going "Wow, your dad/mom sucks" when she kept saying one of them was 'mean' to her.
I had to disown a friend that joined us over time because she kept saying that he was 'mean' and so on. I honestly wish I could check back on that friend, but he probably cut ties with me. I wonder if he knew that I was misguided, but he didn't make any attempts to stop me or anything.
One time, she asked what is my sexuality and it took me off guard. I wasn't focused on dating at the time so I just shrugged at that. "Okay, you're asexual." I didn't know what it meant, but I went 'sure, lets go with that' to appease her. She kept saying that and I believed that I was 'asexual', not just not looking for anybody at the time.
She talked about binders out of the blue one day. All I said was: "Don't wear them too long, it will do irreparable damage". She got mad and we never had that subject ever again.
I couldn't have a friendly banter with her and do old jokes anymore past this point, and she would complain and snap that it was 'mean'.
Months later, out came the trans announcement.
She told me all about HRT, surgery, and whatever. I asked if she ever thought about her decision because it was so sudden and seeing the things they do are also irreparable, even pointing that breasts will never grow back. She ignored me and gave me all sorts of instructions and so on. And I still remained with her because I still wanted to appease her. The worst thing I ever done in her eyes was not treating her being trans as special.
She talked more about her very personal issues while all I wanted is to talk about video games. She made me change my stories and art to contain mostly gay or trans people or with no conflict at all, when all I wanted to is do my hobbies. She got mad when I didn't use her pronouns (he/him lesbian) when I only used her name. She didn't want me to have any opposing opinions from her, because "everything she says is right". Didn't want me to critize her art if I find a glaring anatomical error because her art also heavily degraded, and would snap at me with the classic "its my style" if I try.
And then I snapped at her months later, saying the friendship lately was heavily one-sided. She got mad, saying the whole thing was all my fault, then she said "we need a break". A few days were spent in silence and with other friends, but somewhere during the timeframe, she secretly unfriended me.
I don't know if it was stockholm syndrome, gaslighting, or what, but I came back to her after sitting on it for days, apologizing to her. She keep shifting the blame to me, and I kept apologizing (one of her points was that shes a self-diagnostic autistic). She said we can have our friendship back, and friended me. I was happy. I treated our 'new' friendship back in the old golden days before her trans shift with no response back from her, and days later, she suddenly unfriended and blocked me.
That pretty much opened my eyes to all the shit happened and be more aware, and that experience left me fucked up. Last time I saw her, she retreated back to Tumblr making OCs with the -sexual flags painted on them. I got no idea what happened to make her like that, but it feels morally degrading that I'm still nervous on other friends where I walk on non-existent eggshells on them because of her years later. It's like I won the battle, but lost the war.
EDIT: She also sent me pictures of herself randomly and I didn't even ask for them. I remember one of them was her putting her art up in a small art museum and her hair and lipstick was the brightest blue I ever seen. She was also fat, and she also complained that her doctor was 'mean' for giving her methods to lose weight since her other body problems was caused by it. Never tried to fix her weight, and she got surprised that her problems got worse over time.
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