Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Niggernerd]

how they are so willing to believe almost strangers while completely ignoring friends and loved ones who have been there for them forever

Because "they just don't understand the pain I'm going through"
A lot of them have this woe is me teenage attitude about this stuff. When in reality, your amily and friends are telling you trooning out is a big mistake because they don't want you to become a freak and 41% yourself and not because they hate you.
They automatically assume people they know are close minded and unconsciously bigoted but randoms are so open and understanding the troof!
Its a clownworld thing i don't understand and something i don't want to understand.

 

[TiredAndInked]

I'm glad for your chill friends, but holy shit you can win "most nonviolently derranged exs" competition wherever you go. I hope you got some good support for that and got yourself right from that.

I'd say an email absolving herself from her dickery was tasteless, but this is a person who wants to be known as xe so her taste are long gone.

Thank you. Yea, there was definitely some damage from that entire screwed up situation. The high point was her friends blaming me for this, which really illustrated how messed up that entire circle was.

 

[Finder]

At least one person in my family has been taken in by this insanity and I really fear another is soon to follow them. I'm going to pretty vague, but enough for you to get the picture.

The family member who went down this path is a few years younger than myself and I honestly blame the internet for them trooning out. As a teenager they dated the opposite sex until about 18, when they started dating the same sex. Whatever really, lots of people come out as gay later on so I wasn't very concerned. A few years later after being married to someone of the same sex they suddenly trooned out, almost overnight. It was very sudden, they ended up on HRT almost immediately, are no longer with that person, and are now back to dating the opposite sex, or at least attempting to.

I didn't care at first because like most normal people I knew nothing about the whole trans thing and thought it was basically advanced cross-dressing. I only started to care once I learned more about it. This person has been taking HRT for years now, has a completely different voice, and frankly doesn't resemble the person I grew up around very much. They are now planning to get all the surgeries within the next few years and it's hard watching them do this knowing what to expect when they aren't even aware of it themselves. Of course I can't say anything or try to warn them off, that's completely not allowed.

Their mother was beside herself for years trying to come to terms with this, and their father (one of the most openly based people alive) is absolutely convinced they'll 41% and has tried to come to terms with it before it happens and to scare them off of this path (which hasn't worked).

It's super awkward when this person is around now, no one knows what to say and everyone is always walking on eggshells around them. You can feel the discomfort in other people when they try to use different pronouns for this person and some go to great lengths to not use pronouns at all (like myself).

I directly attribute all of this to Tumblr and ROGD. This person was a completely normal gay person, until they found that website, and once they did everything changed. They were always quite a suggestible person, so I'm not shocked they were taken in by it so easily.

I'm really worried their sibling is already lost, because that person has fully bought into all this gender stuff and I know for a fact they wear a binder. Thankfully that person is super unmotivated to do almost anything, but I'm still expecting them to come out as trans at some point in the next few years.

I really worry about the future of both of these people, but ultimately there's nothing I can do except watch from the sidelines.

Oh one more note, this sort of thing is almost unheard of where I live, and yet two people in one family end up falling down this rabbit hole? Crazy.

 

[BroccoliBrain]

That's a good point. I've been in worse positions and mental states than more than half of the transpeople I know yet somehow I haven't trooned out. Being grounded to reality is probably the biggest factor.

Notice how in the trans community, they actively try to make troons only socialize with other troons. There's constant fearmongering over how cis people are evil and out to get you. Also there's the attitude that cis people are lame and boring. Pulling them out to groups where there isn't trans people will be hard because they're encouraged not to and will feel scared when they're not surrounded by their cult.

See the advice I wish I could've given in that post was how to actually do it. I haven't thought of a way the average person could get their friends out, I'm too aware that even parents can't wrangle their own kids away from this shit even when they have all the resources to do so. Something like a whole-neighbourhood intervention is just pure wishful thinking.

 

[PandaChai]

Spoiler: Powerlevelling

I thank God each and every day that this troonery bullshit was not around while I grew up. I've always been effeminate, even as a child. At 15 I used to cry myself to sleep that I wasn't born a girl, at 17 I started dating someone who encouraged me to crossdress, at 19 I went by "whatever pronouns". Had I been a decade younger, I would have been fast-tracked to troonsville so quick it would make your head spin. Today I am (nearly) 30, and comfortable as an effeminate fag. Fuck trannies and their misery-death-cult.

 

[The Emperor Skeksis]

A few years later after being married to someone of the same sex they suddenly trooned out, almost overnight. It was very sudden, they ended up on HRT almost immediately, are no longer with that person, and are now back to dating the opposite sex, or at least attempting to.

Did you have any contact with the partner? Have they even disclosed anything about what how or why they think it happened? Or were they completely blindsided too? That's gotta be traumatic.

 

[Finder]

Did you have any contact with the partner? Have they even disclosed anything about what how or why they think it happened? Or were they completely blindsided too? That's gotta be traumatic.

I didn’t like or get along with that person when they were together, so I have made no attempt contacting them. As I understand it though they didn’t see it coming either and tried to go along with it for a while.

 

[Niggernerd]

and tried to go along with it for a while.

A fools errand.
God knows i wouldn't be able to deal with the constant walking on eggshells.
Nothing is good enough for those people, they act like everyone is supposed to just play with their delusions and god forbid you try but slip up because it isn't normal.

 

[Finder]

A fools errand.
God knows i wouldn't be able to deal with the constant walking on eggshells.
Nothing is good enough for those people, they act like everyone is supposed to just play with their delusions and god forbid you try but slip up because it isn't normal.

Yah, everyone knows that now of course. This was early into the recent trans craze though so it was new for all involved.

Most of my family has minimal contact at this point, it’s not worth the hassle and this person has successfully alienated a lot of people anyway. They lost most of their friend group as well.

You’re right of course, nothing except complete acceptance and buy in to the whole idea is good enough and often that doesn’t go far enough either. I wonder if they realize what everyone else really thinks, probably not though.

 

[Pizdec]

found out a relative trooned out in the time I've been far far away from home for years. I know it's not because they're different or anything, but because their S.O is tumblr cultist who likely groomed them into trooning out. I have a couple relatives who agree, but we know intervening is not possible for the time being, and it hurts. Their S.O was never a good person, but seeing them groom my relative into transitioning confirmed it.

 

[Adult Female Athlete]

No one too close to me has trooned out, thankfully, but I get sad whenever I see the social media updates of one woman I went to university with. We were never super close but we were in the same tiny department where we had a nice little friend group going on. We were also the only two lesbians and she was actually really proud and happy to be a lesbian - not in an in-your-face kind of way, you could just tell she was happy and comfortable with herself. She wasn't even all that butch, more of a tomboy and even then on the feminine side.

Well, I graduated and we quickly lost touch but a few years later she changes her name and comes out on Facebook as trans. A mere few months after that and she had a double mastectomy. She's been on T for several years now and honestly I am surprised at how little effect it has had. She still looks very much like a woman in her body and face except that here face has become much rounder, somehow. Maybe it's a low dose or something, because you usually see much greater effects in women.

Anyway, she got married to a woman and seems happy and I do hope that she is, but dude - you could have lived a perfectly happy lesbian life without fucking up your endocrine and reproductive system to not even convincingly pass in the end. It's a shame.

 

[Niggernerd]

No one too close to me has trooned out, thankfully, but I get sad whenever I see the social media updates of one woman I went to university with. We were never super close but we were in the same tiny department where we had a nice little friend group going on. We were also the only two lesbians and she was actually really proud and happy to be a lesbian - not in an in-your-face kind of way, you could just tell she was happy and comfortable with herself. She wasn't even all that butch, more of a tomboy and even then on the feminine side.

Well, I graduated and we quickly lost touch but a few years later she changes her name and comes out on Facebook as trans. A mere few months after that and she had a double mastectomy. She's been on T for several years now and honestly I am surprised at how little effect it has had. She still looks very much like a woman in her body and face except that here face has become much rounder, somehow. Maybe it's a low dose or something, because you usually see much greater effects in women.

Anyway, she got married to a woman and seems happy and I do hope that she is, but dude - you could have lived a perfectly happy lesbian life without fucking up your endocrine and reproductive system to not even convincingly pass in the end. It's a shame.

I think gays and lesbians need to be more wary than most or as much as parents with kids who are really impressionable and have access to the internet. The LGs are already dipping their foot in the lefty sceptic tank, one day they'll run into a troon who will proceed to tell them they're actually a troon themselves and if they show a sign of disgust or disagreement they can more than likely say goodbye to their spot in the lefty circle unless they bend the knee and essentially forced to become one.

 

[Enoby Way]

I have changed my tactic and I think i have some important ideas on how to help talk potential victims down.

Avoid talking about AGP narcissism. Its too complicated and you have to explain too much. Anything that can immediately be labelled as transphobia and TERFdom.

Instead talk about the abuse of classes they already believe need to be protected: trans people, people with neurodiverse conditions, and people with mental health problems. And talk about the last class most reasonable people will agree need to be protected because they CANNOT protect themselves: children.

I'm starting discussions about children and lies with my friend and that is making inroads--how dangerous puberty blockers are to bone density, brain development, teenage menopause etc, and how many lies there are about being able to pick up where you left off. This is what the Kiera Bell lawsuit was all about. I don't know if Kiera herself would approve of it being used in quite this way but all I am doing is asking questions.
Also in the middle of compiling some reputable medical research atm. The problem with this misinformation being so widely spread is that you have to prove it IS misinformation first.

I want my friend to wonder why are all these reputable hospitals and organisations so insistently concealing the medical truth about what puberty blockers do to a healthy body. Even if puberty blockers are the right choice, WHY are they blocking vulnerable trans kids and parents of trans kids from making informed medical choices and simply advocating it wholeheartedly? Why not say "your questioning trans son will be happier for now while he has more time to make up his mind, but he will lose bone density and brain development issues... and if he decides he isn't trans after all there is a risk of teenage menopause preventing him from having a full healthy life as a young woman. it is a really good idea to go through some intense therapy first to make sure this is the absolute best option."

I want her to ask why are we advocating treating essentially severe body dysmorphia with surgery instead of therapy? If I am convinced i can't be happy in society without HHH boobs and a 2inch waist, I would be sent to serious therapy and DENIED surgery. So why are we doing things backwards here.

If trans mental health is so important, why is research into mental health outcomes in post-op patients being refused funding.

I'm not planning on giving her answers to these questions. I'm not fully sure, myself. But I just want her to see that the motives here are not pure as the driven snow, and directly contrary to the Something else is going on, we don't know what it is but there is something going on that throws all the positivity of the trans movement into question.

Even if she never changes her mind fully, even if she never acknowledges AGP men are a huge threat to women's rights, or the abuses of autistic people being convinced they're trans, or Big Pharma's massive investment in having initially healthy patients for life... I don't need that. I just need her to doubt enough not to drink the kool aid.

As much as it is human nature to want our loved one's to think exactly like us, i believe the key to success here is that we don't need people to convert to our side. We just need them to be resistant to converting to the no-questions-asked, pro-trans agenda. We don't need them to be anti-trans activists. We just need them to be the quiet majority who believe the rabid trans activists are crazy.

We need to give them the information, show them the facts, show them the scale on which truth is being suppressed, then step back and let them ask themselves these hard questions. Don't push it. It's human nature to resist when being pushed.

The added bonus is that because the facts speak for themselves, we don't have to do the hard arguing. We just have to make sure these facts are available.

I'd like to discuss how if we start arguing that kids can consent to changes to their genitals, it's only a short step to arguing kids can consent to sex. But I hate using the thin edge of the Wedge argument when something else will do, it sounds paranoid even when it's demonstrably true that pedo advocates are trying to advance this.

All I need to do is show her where truth is being suppressed and then let her do the rest. She doesn't have to believe every bad thing about trans movements ever for me to have saved her from it.

 

[SunshineSuperman]

I knew several people back in high school who transitioned.-- only one was my friend though. I'll try to keep it pretty vague. We were close friends in high school. She was pretty unstable and had an abusive home life. I remember she'd constantly go through different phases to try to find her identity. We ended up losing touch, but then I saw her again, and was shocked by her appearance. She went on T, which completely changed her voice and gave her facial hair. The trans thing became her entire identity, and she wasn't the same person anymore.

Looking back, she wasn't the greatest friend, but I understand that she had a messed up life. I still worry about her from time to time.

 

[Banana Bread]

The “NB” I know stormed out of the room in a huff when I tried to call him out on his bullshit - he was explaining his identity to my friends who are out of the loop when it comes to this madness, didn’t catch all of the conversation but he mentioned something about how he doesn’t conform to gender stereotypes and also he’s autistic and has a slew of other mental disorders that make it hard for him to deal. I feel for ya with the mental disorders, bud, that sucks and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but tons of people don’t follow stereotypes, but neither do they identify as non binary, and now the otherwise clueless people in my circles are getting brainwashed by a greasy soy boy who thinks wearing eyeshadow and jewellery makes him a “she/they, queer gremlin disaster”.

 

[PandaChai]

[G]reasy soy boy who thinks wearing eyeshadow and jewellery makes him a “she/they, queer gremlin disaster”.

Why are they always so infuriatingly fucking twee?

 

[Ludibrium]

I left home when I was 19 and didn't keep in touch with my little brother all that much, I saw him maybe once a year from then on. We were never especially close anyway.

He failed his GCSEs a year later, then went into further education to try again lasting few months before quitting. Our mother was too inept to do anything, he would stay up all night playing on his PC, then refuse to go to school in the mornings. You'd think she would have realised that screaming hysterically at him was a losing tactic after it didn't work the first dozen times, but no.

After that he was diagnosed with autism and depression and moved into council housing. As far as I know, he spends all day playing MMOs. He also became a brony, which is just... ugh.

This year I noticed he'd changed his name on Facebook to one of the pony's names. I questioned it with both my parents, and he now "wants to identify as a girl". Neither seem to know what to make of it, and nor do I really.

He has very little online presence that I can find. I don't know if he's matured over the years, or fallen down the troon rabbit hole.

I've not asked him about it either way. Don't feel like kicking that hornet's nest. But if I knew now what I did when I was 19, I would have been a better older brother to him.

 

[Great President of McHell]

Here's a story about a close childhood friend who has thankfully moved past this period of his life and is doing much better these days. I hung out with him a lot as a kid because we had similar taste in music and video games and we'd stay up all night talking about our favorite DnB bands. Nice dude but he has a lot of problems at home, his dad was a Jehovahs witness and when we were 13 his parents got a divorce. After this he moved across the country and we didn't talk as often but he kept in better contact with a lot of our other mutual friends.

Around 2 years later I saw some people trash talking his new (and first) girlfriend in a group chat and later learned he had recently started identifying as female and using a different name, his friends were concerned but cautiously supportive but it didn't matter because he cut contact with almost all of us soon after. Maybe 3 years later they broke up and he started making some seriously concerning posts on Facebook, we hadn't spoken in years at this point but I was worried he was going to off himself so I messaged him asking if he wanted to chat but he never responded. I was dealing with my own shit at the time so all I could do was put it out of my mind and hope for the best.

An entire year later he got back to me and told everything, We would talk a lot about his issues at home when we were younger and he fully admitted transgenderism was a form of escapism for him where he felt he could leave his old fucked up life behind and start over again. He was also struggling with his sexuality and feeling an attraction towards men and this was a way for him to avoid confronting that aspect of himself. I'd say this is the conversation that "peak transed" me because beforehand I didn't know that people would use trooning out as a "fix" for other issues in their life and had assumed everyone who did it was True and Honest.

He told me he had been identifying as male again for the last 6 months and asked if I would help with telling our other friends about it. Still not sure why he went to me about this but I'd guess its because we weren't as close so he felt less embarrassed about it. The other guys were more than happy to talk with him again and the initial awkwardness was gone pretty quickly. One other thing of note was that in private I saw a lot of these friends talking about how trooning out was something his girlfriend at the time pressured him into or at least encouraged but he never spoke about that to me, I wouldn't doubt it because she seemed to be a pretty unhinged individual and he was living with her and her parents throughout the entirety of this trans phase.

I'm glad my friend got out of it, so many other aren't as lucky. This whole thing is just a vague memory at the back of my mind now but seeing some stuff in the Tranny Sideshow thread today made me remember it. There is no easy way to deal with friends or loved ones who get trapped by this but please don't cut them off, if you do you will lose them forever in one way or another.

 

[Kornula]

I stopped walking on eggshells 30 years ago. I stopped gtiving a complete fuck as to how people reacted to my ideas. If they like them, I keep engaging in a conversation. If they start screaming and yelling at me.. I walk away at that point. They obviously don't want to hear any opposing view point.

 

[Bani]

Not someone I was super close to, but when I was around 14, there was this girl who lived about an hour away from me, and we would meet up to go to anime conventions. Reasonably cute, she had a bit of a moon face, but she had nice red hair and was in good shape. The redhead's parents were going through a somewhat contentious divorce during the years we hung out most frequently, and she was sexually active younger than any of the other "nerd" girls I knew. She was straight, but experimented with one of her female friends at one point; this friend was an actual lesbian as far as I could tell, and I think the relationship didn't work out because she wasn't happy with being a straight girl's "experiment." Coincidentally, I ran into that ex again years later because we went to the same college, and we became acquainted. By that point, Redhead had already trooned out and the two of them cut contact.

Redhead was a hardcore Tumblrina before and after trooning. At around 16, she was big into the fictionkin/neopronouns stuff, and was a big-time fujoshi. She unironically had "fae" pronouns for a while. Then she decided she was agender and started going by Ren or something like that. That lasted for about a year, and around the time she entered college she changed her name to Oliver. She moved to Canada for college and majored in some type of visual art. She got a mastectomy at some point around that time, and has a little bit of sad Aiden chin stubble going on. I haven't talked to her in years, but from her Twitter it looks like she still cosplays female characters almost exclusively, and I think she's married to another FTM now.

A lot of the cosplayers in that little clique trooned out, but "Oliver" was the only one I was truly friends with. I was very loosely acquainted with another one, "Matt" (we were mutuals on social media and would run into each other at cons as well.) She "passes" better than Redhead does, but not by much. It's been a long time since I've seen her in person, but she was a petite little latina girl with curly hair. Like Redhead, she was and continues to be a big fujoshi, and has been singularly obsessed with the same obscure fictional couple for like eight years. Her facial her looks... less disgusting than it does on most FTMs, but still kind of dumpy. I honestly thought she was trans the first time I met her because she had short hair and only cosplayed male characters, but she went by "she/they" for a few years before trooning out. I should note as well that neither of these FTMs were ugly as girls; just a little plain because they never wore makeup.

The female equivalent to the "incel to troon" pipeline would definitely be "fujoshi to Aiden." Fujoshis are often shy, homely, straight women who for whatever reason are intimidated by a perceived power imbalance in heterosexual relationships. Just like incels, they think life as the opposite sex is "easy mode," and want to be soft uwu gay bois. Throw in the SJW retardation that was inescapable on Tumblr and Twitter at the time, and you've got a recipe for Aidens.

Two of my brother's friends are MTFs, but that's a story for another post.