Love and Marriage, do you still believe in it? - Or, everything I know about love I learned from my psychotherpist and divorce attorney.

[Wraith]

I have kind of a touchy subject. Do you want to get married if you're not, and if you are already married, do you recommend it to others and how they should go about it?

Sometimes I am in places with a lot of complaints about marriage, so I'd like to know other people's thoughts on it. Some questions if you're willing to answer are:

Do you think with the way things are in the world you can still fall in love with the average person?

Is marriage viable and safe in this modern era, depending on where in the world you live?

What minimum standards do you actually need and require in a marriage partner?

Do you think some aspects of modern society are a hindrance to marriage today and why?

Do you think you can find happiness in marriage, or is happiness based on yourself and how you live your life alone?

What part of marriage brings about that happiness?

If you're turned off on the idea of marriage for you or others, what convinced you not to do it, or convinced you not to support that idea for others?

And anything else you'd like to talk about concerning the topic. This is a complex issue, and I encounter lots of people online who are negative on the way things are right now. I'm not looking for an answer to every question from every one, but whatever you're willing to share.
What's your opinions?

 

[1864897514651]

Mark 10:9 (Douay-Rheims)

"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."

It is a permanent bond between two living human beings of the opposite sex. Marriage is a mysteriously beautiful Holy Sacrament, and nothing can ever hinder a Holy Sacrament instituted by God Himself. I hope to be married one day.

 

[Darndirty]

Mark 10:9 (Douay-Rheims)

"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."

It is a permanent bond between two living human beings of the opposite sex. Marriage is a mysteriously beautiful Holy Sacrament, and nothing can ever hinder a Holy Sacrament instituted by God Himself. I hope to be married one day.

My county clerk can hinder a sacred union. It can't be that holy.

 

[AnOminous]

I believe that marriage exists.

I think it is best avoided, though.

 

[Chill Fam]

I do believe in marriage, however it's steadily declining. A shit ton of people in this generation desire "side hoes" and make it their mission to catch every STD possible, so...

 

[DailyToastBoat]

I do believe in marriage, however it's steadily declining. A shit ton of people in this generation desire "side hoes" and make it their mission to catch every STD possible, so...

Which is unbelievably sad for those who don't seek the life of a brainless bunny, humping everything they see.

 

[Vocaloid Ruby]

I believe marriage is real and works. If you put effort into it.

Marriages and relationships in general worked more in the past because we did not live in a world of instant gratification. People now a days are not patient enough for a relationship and what comes with one they want sex right away.

The problem with marriage is people use it now as more as a 'We need to stay together to have this kid your 8 months pregnant with' more than 'We will get together because we love each other and may have children'. People get married more because of circumstance because of their own problems and not because they want to.

There's also the social stigma and pressure of married life now. When your married you are tied to a person, which is not nessacerily a bad thing. But a 30-year-old chav who never grew up will not be able to comprehend that now he's married he can no longer go out clubbing and have girls grind on his dick all night long.

Marriage is a responsibility and young adults now can't seem to comprehend such a thing, so if the marriage fails they cannot even fathom they where irresponsible and don't try to fix it and blame it on the other person. And then try to get divorced as soon as possible.

Never the less I do believe it is a generational thing with baby boomers and now millennias and I'm sure that marriage will one day return as what it is - a perilous sacramoney before your god, gods, community or whatever and a responsibility to be with someone for the rest of your life.

It is something that I personally believe can make you happy for the rest of your life. And though it's a long time coming, I am certain I will be married someday.

 

[The Great Chandler]

If you're referring to marriage as in 'childless', there's a good deal of advantages to that. It would offer some financial fulfillments and more emphasis on the structure between the couples. With children however, offers more fulfillment in life. You'd leave behind a legacy and the fact that raising a child can prove to be a challenge worth accomplishing as a couple. Overall, marriage is something not to be taken for granted since there would be a good deal of weight to it.

 

[Sperglord Dante]

Marriage can work for level-headed adults. I don't believe it works for the average Joe in this time and age. And it's not because our society's morals are in decadence or some nonsense like that, it's just that for the most part of human history we didn't really have an alternative to marriage.

Back in the day you had to marry and you had to have children. If you were a man you needed a wife and children as status symbols and you further needed the children to look for you during your last days. If you were a woman you needed a husband to economically support you and children to force him to remain with you. This kind of arrangement worked wonders back when women weren't part of the workforce, there was no social safety net beyond family and there was a strong social stigma against spinsters, homosexuals and pretty much everyone who didn't fit the mold.

In our current society where women work, gays are outside of the closet and single childless men who masturbate to animey decide the future of the country there's not much incentive to get married.

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

Marriages can obviously work. In my opinion, two of the biggest questions that should be asked are, "How entitled are you to your significant other's time, support and affection?" and the same question reversed.

They say marriage requires work and while that's true, so does piping in a toilet. At least you know with certainty the toilet does not actively hate you. And you don't need to actually do anything wrong to get covered in shit in either case.

I've always been of the opinion marriage has little to do with love and far more with mutual respect. Desperate codependency can fill in for either in a pinch. If you find yourself watching all three degrade, bail immediately. This should be stressed times one million in the event you suspect infidelity. In all family courts I know of, when a baby's mother is married, the husband is the legal father by default. And it is an ordeal to get that disproved, one that will cost a great deal of money and likely your sanity.

If you have a trust, own property or significant assets, pre-nup that shit. In the event of a divorce, your attorney will gladly watch you spontaneously combust while your soon-to-be-ex will have councilors, family members, friends, lawyers and sometimes judges helpfully explaining why they are entitled to your support for the next decade. Divorce is such a low point, you likely won't even care until it is too late.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I'm all for finding a partner you want to spend your life with. I feel like marriage is generally an unnecessary legal fiction, though. It's useful for medical rights of course, and some tax/financial purposes when you are pooling your finances together. And of course, if you're going to have children then it affects things like custody.

But what if things fall apart? Do you really want that knife hanging over your head? Divorce court sounds like one of the most grueling experiences I've ever heard.

 

[GeorgeDaMoose]

I have kind of a touchy subject. Do you want to get married if you're not, and if you are already married, do you recommend it to others and how they should go about it?

Sometimes I am in places with a lot of complaints about marriage, so I'd like to know other people's thoughts on it. Some questions if you're willing to answer are:

Do you think with the way things are in the world you can still fall in love with the average person?

Is marriage viable and safe in this modern era, depending on where in the world you live?

What minimum standards do you actually need and require in a marriage partner?

Do you think some aspects of modern society are a hindrance to marriage today and why?

Do you think you can find happiness in marriage, or is happiness based on yourself and how you live your life alone?

What part of marriage brings about that happiness?

If you're turned off on the idea of marriage for you or others, what convinced you not to do it, or convinced you not to support that idea for others?

And anything else you'd like to talk about concerning the topic. This is a complex issue, and I encounter lots of people online who are negative on the way things are right now. I'm not looking for an answer to every question from every one, but whatever you're willing to share.
What's your opinions?

Spoiler: small autism

Love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage

I really love the idea of marriage and I've seen more than a few successful ones. I'd love to get married myself one day. I believe I'm able to love another person and dedicate myself to them while remaining true to who I am.
Really though the key word there is "idea". Not going to go into anything, but I don't know how long it's going to take me to trust another person like that. I believe a lot of people feel the same way too. Faithfulness and honesty are the key components to a successful relationship (aside from love), but to me it feels like those are things people have a hard time keeping true to.
Question about whether happiness comes from marriage or yourself is silly to me. Happiness mainly revolves around your own self, but it can also come from finding someone to share your life with. Ups, downs, all that.
Once again I'd really love to get married. I don't know if I'll find someone I'd ever feel comfortable getting married to.

 

[melty]

I believe in love, and am very much in love with my boyfriend of 9 years. I love him more every year.
But we don't want to get married. I don't see how it changes anything. I don't want to have to plan anything, we're not having kids, I'm fine with calling him my bf instead of husband. We have a way better relationship than almost any other people I know so what's the difference.
I would consider it though for taxes or if he or I really wanted to.
@GeorgeDaMoose I feel you on trust. My bf jokes that it took me like 7 years to really trust him, which is sadly true he's super trustworthy and has never broken that so...
I don't get why people have such a hard time with faithfulness. Is it really so hard to not fuck a bunch of other people? smh

 

[Zeorus]

I'm married. I believe that it's a very sacred thing that can be the source of a lot of happiness. That said, I don't necessarily "recommend" marriage on the basis that I don't really have any business telling other people they should get married. If there's a person that you believe you can be mutually happy with in the long term and you want to make a serious commitment to that mutual happiness, then get married.

I understand that this arrangement might not make everybody happy and that's fine. If it doesn't significantly change the relationship for the better, don't do it.

 

[Gym Leader Elesa]

Together with the only person I have ever been with since childhood. We've never had any problems. So I guess, "yes" since it worked well for me.

 

[OtterParty]

what age were you married

 

[1864897514651]

[redacted]

Your county clerk is a pathetic man.

 

[DuskEngine]

It shouldn't be an institution of the state. I don't really have any thoughts on it beyond that.

 

[BT 075]

I believe in both love and marriage, as I am currently both in love and married. I believe it added meaning to my life, gave me goals and a purpose. Because I know what love is, and experienced it, I will never stop believing in love. After all, I'm already familiar with its existence. Even if you lose it at some point, there's the old saying: "It's better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all".

Now marriage is a whole different story. You don't need to be married, to be in a happy and fulfilling relationship with someone. I know too many couples who have been together for decades, who raised children, have grandchildren, grew old together and are still very much in love, but who never "put a ring on it". Because what good is a ring, at the end of the day, when so many people just marry for convenience or as a means to climb the social or financial ladder? The connection you feel with another person is still there, it doesn't need jewelry, God or a piece of paper to be genuine or real. It just needs love and commitment.

 

[bbpoison]

Someone once proposed to me with cheeto ring and now he's with me forever and ever. Many people get married at the same time and sometimes they don't even know who and that they are even being married. There can be millions of recipients and the person who you marry can change into many different forms and merge with you with no noticeable distinction. That's how marriage works. A lot of people that are alive right now don't exist for me and and infinite amount of people exist in one person and if I love that person um.....it'll last till death and maybe a little bit after that. And uhhhhhhhh the best love is the love that hurts